Lord Of The Rings Applied In Real Life Situations...

Please. Don't be put off by that admittedly "strange" title. Let MidNight The Magnificent show you what can be learnt from the LOTR movies, as applied in real-life situations, mostly to scare off your teacher(s), boss(es), or any other authoritive figure who annoys you & get them to STOP breathing down your neck.

~When your teacher/boss* is piling on the schoolwork/administrative paperwork, place hands over ears, shake head vigorously, while talking aloud, "Nooo, nooo... Hard work gurts us, teacher/boss*. Burns us. Burns our braincells, it does! Nooo!"

~Hold Gollum-Semegol style debates with your self.

"The fat boss/teacher* knows. He knows we haven't done his work. The fat one knows. Always watching us, he is. He knows we haven't done his work."

"No no no. Boss/teacher is our friends. Boss/teacher would never hurts us."

(fiercely)"You have NO friends. Nobody likes you."

~Set your cellphone to the "Vibrate then Ring" mode, & when you first feel your cell vibrating, suddenly break off the conversation, turn to your companions, & announce very seriously, "Big Brother. Big Brother is always watching." (Prep work: Calculate how many times your phone rings before it will ring.) Just before you know that it will ring, say urgently, "Big Brother is here." When the phone finally does ring, throw it onto the floor, wrestle with it, & cover it with a cloth, while telling all your companions to run for their lives. Then, suddenly calm down & answer the phone with a calm "Hello?"

~Every morning, turn to the East & soliloquize, "A sun rises. The night has been defeated this morn'."

~When turning your attention to/talking to another person, shine a bright torch directly into their faces, & talk in a weird whispery voice, especially stressing on their names, stretching out each syllable to lasting a minimum of 5 seconds.

~When embarking on a journey with companions, insist on at least 3 breakfasts, 5 lunches, 2 teas, 4 dinners, AND 3 suppers.

~Always use super-strong hair gel AND water/blood-proof make up so that you'd look flawless under any condition, be you fighting a war, or screaming your lungs out on a 1080o roller-coaster.

~& finally, there really is no such thing as Bad Jewelery.

*delete accordingly, as suits your dire purpose.

Author's Disclaimer: MidNight The Magnificent cannot/will not be held responsible if any/all of the behaviour described above lands you into a safe, padded cell somewhere.
Face it, you CAN'T touch me in this safe, padded cell I'm publishing from anyway.
I am so evil. Mawhahahahahahaha!!!