~My Best Interest~

My take on what happened when the "door closed" and the credits rolled on the season 4 "A Rose is a Rose" premiere of Major Crimes.

Disclaimer: I own nothin' of Major Crimes, nothin'!

"Closed the door, let's talk." Crap did she just say that? This is not how she had imagined this going. Sure she was tired from not sleeping through the night in months but why would she say that now and while still in the office? This was something that should be done in the privacy of one of their respective homes. Sharon had been dreading this but it was time. She knew that he was the kind of man that liked to do the saving but that wasn't her and it never would be. She wasn't sure if she could get Andy to understand that she didn't need a knight on a white horse or even someone looking after her best interest. So it was now time to delve into this conversation she dreaded having but since she opened her mouth and said those two words, let's talk. It was now or never.

It was hard for Sharon to resist that smile Andy gave her as he closed the door but she needs Andy to understand that the way he's acting was starting to look suspicious to the whole team. She was surprised his partner hadn't shot him with that bean-bag gun yet. She watched as Andy stopped in front of her desk putting one hand on each chair and leaned forward. Taking a deep breath to steady herself Sharon started, "you asked what do I need you for? Well, Andy, I need you to stop acting like this." She watched the smile on Andy's face drop. He had said he got it when she told him she didn't need him looking out for her interests best or otherwise. There was more she wanted to talk about but she didn't want to do it here so Sharon was going to ask him to meet for dinner,

As she was saying his name again he cut her off. "No, no it's ok."

So she tried his rank, "Lieutenant?"

Sharon watched as Andy stood up straight and throwing his hands up, "no need, I get it loud and clear, Captain you don't need me, we've established that. So then I'll just get out of here to do what's expected of me and that's my job." She stood up so quickly to try to say something that her chair collide with the cabinet behind her. The words stuck in her throat at the look he gave her and he said in a defeated voice, "don't worry, I won't be bothering you anymore." With that, Andy yanked the door open and left her office.

Her heart dropped in her chest this is not the way she wanted this to go at all. Yes, she knew Andy was still the hothead man she had known for so many years but she figured he'd give her a chance to explain. Sharon had really thought they had come that far as a colleague and in their friendship. She couldn't yell out his name to stop him because it would draw more unwanted attention to them and that's exactly what she didn't want. So she watched through the windows in her office as he didn't even stop at his desk, Andy immediately headed for the exit door. Sharon would give him time to think it over and cool down. She was sure he would calm down soon. She really didn't think he would get that upset and he didn't let her finish what she really wanted to say.

Through the rest of the day Andy hadn't answered any of her calls or texts, she was getting worried. Sharon wanted to give him time but too much time could be a bad thing. All her experiences told her that. She had given Jack time, again and again, to figure out what he wanted and he ran with it. She wouldn't see or hear from him for months. Not wanting to have this divide between her and Andy, she needed to figure out how to bridge it.

As she sat at her desk trying to finish the case reports, she was sure she didn't write anything down for the last hour. Sharon was to busy thinking that maybe she was too worried about what the team thought or what Taylor thought or what the whole LAPD thought. Maybe it was time to think about what she thought and what she wanted. What she wanted was Andy. He had all the qualities she liked in a person. To start he was handsome that was obvious but also Andy Flynn was kind. He always made her smile and laugh when they went out to dinners. A sense of humor was important to her. Jack had always had a great sense of humor though she did get annoyed with what he thought was funny. Usually, the laughs were at her expense and it was hard for Jack to actually act serious long enough to get him to listen to her.

Staring at her blank phone again Sharon decided, fine if Andy wasn't going to answer her calls or text her back she would just go to him. She collected her things and left the now empty Murder Room. When she got to Andy's the house was quiet and all the lights were off. Just to make sure he wasn't home she knocked and rang the doorbell a few times. Finally deciding that Andy wasn't inside sulking and hiding from her. She turned to leave but then thought, no she'd stay and wait him out. He had to come home sooner or later and in the skirt, she was wearing Sharon hoped it was sooner rather than later. The nights could get a little chilly in LA. As she waited on his front porch she sat in the same swing that she and Andy sat in so many times having a cup of tea or coffee after their dinners, they would come back to his place to relax and talk about anything and everything. Sharon had always enjoyed nights like this sitting out here with Andy, they forget their problems just for a few hours. She had so many memories here so many good memories. The loll of the swing was making her eyes feel heavy. Running on hardly any sleep she must have drifted off because suddenly she heard a harsh, "what are you doing here?"

Andy's voice caused her to jump. Quickly placing her hand over her heart Sharon said half awake, "Andy, you scared me."

He huffed then roughly said, "Well, what do you expect when your sitting, no actually sleeping in the dark on someone's porch when they aren't home?"

"This isn't just someone's porch, this is your porch and you know exactly why I'm here Andy. I won't be here if you had let me talk at the office or if you would have answered any of my multiple phone calls or texts." He was so frustrating at times, Sharon thought.

Watching his shadow as Andy walked away from her to lean against a porch post and slid his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, well I was at an AA meeting if you need to know where I was."

Picking up the disdain in his voice Sharon sat up straighter she knew she was going to face an upset man but didn't think he would be this bad. "No, Andy, I didn't need to know where you were. I don't have to know everywhere you go. Why are you so defensive?"

Straight and to the point Andy asked, "Why are you really here, Sharon?"

"I told you. You know why I'm here and I asked you a question?" She could hear the iciness in her tone. "Don't try and turn this back on me, Andy. You're the one that stormed out of my office in a huff. I wanted to talk and you let me say only one or two sentences. It was if you were waiting for me to..."

He shrugged. "Weren't you? Why keep dragging this on? I've waited and waited. There is always something that comes up, something that's is more important than talking about us."

"You're right about part of that. Work is always taking up our time then Stroh, Julio getting into trouble again, and Rusty but..." her voiced cracked as she finished saying, "but I'm trying."

"No, Sharon you're not trying. That's just it if this," Andy waved his hand between them, "was important to you or meant anything to you then you would find the time. Just like you find the time for... well everything and everyone else.

It was hard for her to hear the pain in his voice and to see the hurt reflecting back at her, so she closed her eyes. Slowly she opened them again and said, "I can't say I'm sorry but I can say it's not you. It's me."

Sharon couldn't see his face anymore because he had stepped back into the shadows. The light on Andy's porch was off but she could just imagine the eye-roll that went along with the condescending laugh before Andy said, "oh nice, throw out the classic blow off. Yeah, well thanks for letting me know so nicely." Then she watched him push off the post to head for his front door. "It's been one hell of a day and I'm exhausted. Good night, Sharon."

If she had any chance of making this right, now was the time. Do something her thoughts were screaming at her. Did she really want Andy to just walk away? She had let Jack walk away over and over the first few times she had tried to stop him but she figured out quickly that only sent him running faster. She was just the dull nagging wife and that was the times that she was home. Usually, he left when she was at work or picking up the kids from the sitter because Jack once again forgot he even had children. The thing Sharon needed to remember was that Andy was not Jack they are very different people but she was still the same woman. Would she just end up driving Andy away too? Could she take that chance? Sure she had changed being on her own all these years but therein lies the bigger problem. She had been on her own for so long she didn't know how to do this. Whatever this was.

Hearing Andy keys as he pulled them out of his pocket her thoughts were taunting her now to get up, do something anything. She couldn't move though she sat frozen in panic. Well, if she couldn't get herself to move then she had to say something. So in a whisper so low she barely could hear herself, "it really is me, not you." Sharon sat looking down at her hands in her lap, she was nervously fidgeting with her fingers. Letting out a cleansing sigh Sharon tried to explain, "it's never been you, Andy. It's just that it's very hard for me to trust. I'm not sure I can go through that again." This wasn't coming out how she wanted it to and the sound of his key sliding in the lock said that Andy agreed with her. As each little notch passed the gears of the lock the sound seemed to echo around them as if it was saying her time was running out. Sharon had to risk it all now before Andy walked into his home and closed the door on them for good. Knowing she had to stop him, it was now or never. Sharon said louder and more confidently, "understand that except for my kids it's been a long time since I've trusted myself to love anyone again." It was suddenly dead quiet it was if the world came to a halt and it was just the two of them there stopped in time. At least she couldn't hear his key turning anymore.

"Do you want to come in?"Andy asked her without turning around.

"Can we sit out here? I find the night air calming and the darkness easier to talk in." Sharon slid her hand along the empty space next to her "actually, you know I think this is one of my favorite spots in the city. Well, it's a close second to the balcony at my condo."

Happy to see Andy slowly turn and take the few steps to stand in front of her. Though she was not happy to hear what he had to say. "Sharon, I don't want you to feel pushed into something you don't want. You don't need to say things you're not ready to say. It's all right if you don't feel the same way I do. I'm sorry I reacted that way but..."

"Excuse me but hmmm, do you know me?" She held out her right hand to Andy and said, "Hello, I'm not sure if we meet but my name is Sharon Raydor. Seriously though, Andy when have you ever known me do anything I don't want to do?" Since her hand was so close to his Sharon reached out and tugged him closer to the swing. Basically, giving him no choice but to sit down next to her. Keeping a hold of his hand Sharon turned to face him, she was close enough to see the look of shock on his face. Good, she thought maybe he'll be quiet enough to let her talk. "Andy, it's not that I wasn't ready to say it. It's more that I was petrified of what we have and I still am. My feelings for you scare me to death. You asked me earlier in my office what do I need you for? What I was trying to say before you stormed out was that was that I need you to stand beside me not step in front of me to try and fight my fights for me. As I said I can do that myself and have for a long time. I also need you to be my friend." Sharon scooted closer to Andy so that their legs were touching. "I'm not sure if you noticed but I'm not very good at putting myself first. I need you to help me do that. Andy, I'm not sure when it happened but I meant what I said, I do love you. You give me the courage to allow myself to let go, open my heart and just be in the moment. The most important thing I need you to do is be patient with me while I figure all this out."

Andy had been silent as she talked, Sharon stood up getting ready to head to her car. She knew she just threw a lot at him and she wanted to give him time to absorb it all. Still holding on to his hand as she said softly, "Andy I know this might be too much to deal with after the week we had so take your time and call me when..."

Her words were never finished because Andy had pulled her on to his lap causing them to slowly swing back and forth. He now had his face buried in her hair. Sharon shivered when Andy practically growled in her ear, "don't think I don't know you, Sharon because I do." Before she could have a chance to disagree he turned to look her in the eye saying, "and I love just as you are." It was her turn to be shocked, oh she was absolutely sure he growled as Andy pulled her even closer to him and kissed her. Andy deepened the kiss and it quickly became aware to Sharon that being a detective wasn't the only thing Lieutenant Andy Flynn was good at.

They sat there kissing and holding each other as they slowly swung back and forth in the cool night air on Andy's porch. Occasionally her hand or his would end up running through the other's hair or they would interlock their fingers as they kissed. For now, it was enough to enjoy this moment and Sharon was positive this was her favorite place in the city. Being held by the man she loved on this swing, on Andy's porch. After needing air from another one of Andy's kisses she pulled away just enough to run her tongue over her lips and smooth them together, She could taste his kiss on her tingling lips. "Mmmm," Sharon hummed then said, "so, maybe it couldn't hurt to have someone, well you looking out for my best interest. If, Andy you could be less obvious about it at work or you're going to give Provenza a heart attack." They shared a quick laugh before Andy said, "right now I don't want to talk about my partner," then he kissed her again.

Sorry, well um nope I'm not that sorry for the angst! Hopefully the fluff made up for it? Feel free to let me know!