a/n we had to be high when we wrote this. But really, its hilarious. Please review at end.

Authors: Amelia and Bianca

Summary: Ron Weasley leads a double life, Harry is asexual, Hermione is a rainbow princess, Ginny is a ninja, Draco thinks he has super powers, Pansy hugs trees and Seamus is magically delicious.

"Here at the British music awards, please give it up for Calzada Nevada!"

And the crowd goes wild.

Ron listened to the chants of 'Calzada' echoing through the auditorium. In moments, thousands of people would be watching him. He grabbed his mike, did one last High School Musical voice exercise before walking, in his tight leather pants, out onto the stage, being engulfed by the lights, were thousands stood waiting and cheering.

Harry Potter was in love with himself. Fame did that to a person. Egotistical wasn't the word, it was more of a…passion towards himself.

And tonight, he was having fun, all by himself.

Hermione twirled her baton of rainbow goodness, feeling the world around her fill with joy. She straightened her crown and twirled.

She noticed a figure by a tree, holding on to it for dear life. She skipped over to the person and batted them upside the head with her baton.

"YOU WILL HAVE JOY!" she exclaimed, hitting the person again as they cringed away from her. She followed, "JOY!"

Pansy started. Strange, this bushy haired rainbow princess just hit her upside the head with a baton. She had been minding her own business, hugging her tree as usual when she had received a blow to the head.

"What are you doing to make the environment a better place?" she yelled at the rainbow princess.

Hermione smiled, "I fill it with joy."

"By beating people upside the head with batons?" Pansy screeched, "The yelling we are doing right now is using up needed oxygen! You are making me hurt the environment!"

Draco ran up behind his best friend, slapping the other boys arse.

Blaise turned around, glaring at the blonde, "What the fuck Draco?"

Draco sneered and laughed, "Nice try Zabini, I know you can't see me."

"What the hell are you talking about? Your right there."

"Shut up, you can't hear me either. I'm invisible, don't you know anything?"

"Your insane, that's what."

"Your just jealous because I have super powers and you don't."

"Super powers?"

"Yeah, like those people on that one show. I am just like them…and someday they will come for me. Now, I have to fly."

Blaise stared after Draco who was now galloping down the hall, "Just don't jump off anything too high, alright?"

"They're after my lucky charms!" Seasmus yelled, sprinting down the hallway, knocking over several students in the process.

Ginny, all stealthy in her black suit, somersaulted down the halls of Hogwarts. Rounding the corner she saw professor Snape. She took out her ninja stars and threw them at him but before they could reach him he whipped out his wand and yelled, "Expiliamus!"

Ginny turned around, snapping her fingers and yelling, "DAMN IT!" she stalked off.

Lila breathed out a sigh of annoyance. It was her first day at Hogwarts. Being an American witch was pretty easy, but being forced to come to a prestigious British school with the famous Harry Potter was a bit unnerving. She was used to being the famous one. She was a triple threat and she would bet her life that the boy who lived couldn't sing an e flat or own a runway without falling flat on your ass.

As she walked up the steps of the school resounding whistles behind her made her roll her eyes. Maybe she was in a different country, but men everywhere were all the same.

a/n we're crazy. Except it.

Ron: You made me Hannah Montana!

Author: Uh…yeah.

Ron: YAY! NOBODYS PERFECT, I'VE GOTTA WORK IT-

Draco: Its really sad that you know the words to that.

Ron: your just jealous because they made you crazy.

Draco: shut up. Maybe I'm not crazy…I could be a superhero.

Ron: -rolls eyes- ahuh.

Ginny: HI-YAY

Ron: shut up gin, your not ACTUALLY a ninja.

Ginny: don't ruin it.

Author: anyway, I want you to review.

Ron: YES REVIEW

Draco: Please. Ron will promise not to sing again if you do.

Ron: shut up.

a/n you heard them. Review your ass off.