A/N:The first Gundam Wing fic that I'm throwing out into the world. I'm nervous, people. This is beginning to be a habit for me: I always have ideas for multi-chapters, and then I start writing. Then I get nervous, andthe first thing I publish are the one-shots I wrote on a whim.

I wrotethis in an hour and a half, but I'm curious what you think of it. It's dark, so prepare. I can't explain why I wrote this, it just crept into my mind and I had to get it out of me.

Relena is always portrayed as either a nutcase, a stalker, or both. I admit, she's not my favourite character, and I'm sure many of you agree that it looks as if she has this manical obsession for Heero. But, this doesn't necessarily have to be true.

This is my explanation forRelena's behaviour.Hell, just give it a shot. Oh, and I may have taken some liberties here and there, so please go with it.

Warnings: Adult themes, angst and mentions of shounen-ai (no lemon)

Pairings mentioned: 1x2, 3x4 and 5xS (ff dot net doesn't allow plusses, unfortunately)

The Unmasking

"Why am I doing this, you ask?" she paused, lightly tapping a finger to her chin, her face tilted to the side a little, "Actually, it's quite complicated. I think I'll start with telling you about my younger years. There's a lot more to this, and me, than you'd expect, y'know."

Tipping her glass back, her face didn't scrunch up as the burning liquor went down her throat. Only when the glass was empty, did she let out a satisfied sigh, though the glass remained dangling in one of her dainty little hands. A manicured fingernail tapped against the table top as a humourless smile danced on her pink lips.

Bright blue eyes that once seemed to hold a passion for life, were dull and empty as she spoke in a monotone voice. "You're probably shocked that I'm drinking, right?" a small pause, during which the glass was placed on the polished wood of her desk, "To me it's nothing new, really. It's something I learned when I was but at the age of eight. A little young, don't you agree?"

Hands grasped the neck of a bottle of whiskey, and poured a new amount of brownish liquor into the glass. A tweezed eyebrow was raised, as she waited for an answer that would never come to her. After a moment, she sighed.

"But it didn't matter at home, because no one knew except..." She rolled her eyes as if it should be obvious who she was talking about.

"My father was always away on some business trip or another, most of the time taking my mother with him. They thought I wasn't old enough to join them on their voyages, that I needed the consistancy of one home instead of many.

I wasn't left alone, however. Of course not. I was but a small child, you see. Most of the time, they invited family over to baby-sit me. By family, I mean my dear uncle and aunt. Well," a short pause again as she let some more whiskey slide into her mouth and down her throat like it was water, "that's what my parents made me call them anyway. Though I guess they didn't really feel like they were related to me." A bitter note entered her steady voice, and her eyes narrowed a bit with some unidentifiable emotion. Swishing the contents of her glass around, her smile never wavered.

Glancing down at her clothes, she noticed that they were black for once, not pink, and when she looked back up, there was a little sparkle in her eye.

"Ah yes. Why am I not wearing pink? Why do I wear pink so often? Let me see... Pink was the colour of the blankets my father used to tuck me into when he came home late at night and thought I was asleep. Pink was the colour of the ribbons my mother used to tie my hair with. Pink was the colour of my blood, when it mixed with water and it flowed down the drain." Her face never showed anything but blankness, but the sparkle in her eye died as if nothing had ever existed there.

"Blood, caused by what? Or, better yet, by whom?" She asked; silence was the only thing she got as an answer. Comfortable in her own office, she leaned back in her chair. "Do you really want to know? If you don't, I suggest you walk away now." The warning was said without much care, and she ruined the effect it should've had with her ever-present smile.

"All right, I guess you can take it." Her fingers steepled together as she leaned her elbows on the wood. "Everybody seems to think that I was some innocent bystander of a war, mindlessly chasing after my ideals, after something I could never achieve.

But, as you all know too well, innocence is lost quite quickly during times of warand the prelude to battle – and not even I could escape the deterioration of the world my parents had built for me, my little glass kingdom. And within a very short time I watched it crumble around me. Not even my father, the late Vice Foreign Minister, could protect me from reality, the harsh world we live in. Especially not if the harm was done by unexpected people; by his own blood, in his own house, by his own... brother."

The smile died slowly, leisurely as she pressed the tops of her fingers harder against each other until they were nearly white. "I was such a happy, protected child. How was I to know that the things he did to me were considered abnormal in the real world? There was never spoken of such things in my presence. How was I to know that the things he gave to me, like liquor, and-" an unchecked shudder ran through her small, hunched frame, "the things he made me do, were indecentand unappropriate?"

A deep breath was taken to regain her composure, and she took upher story at another point.

"So you see, pink is something I love and hate at the same time. Pink was a way to hide from the outside world as my father tucked me in after another... assault, while he wasn't even aware of it. Pink meant protection, in a way. But after a while even that didn't help anymore.

Till the day my father died at the hands of Lady Une... And to this day, my mother doesn't know of what had been going on in their own home. I'd like to keep it that way." A brief glance to the side.

"When my father died, and he told me I wasn't his child - that I was the Peacecraft heir, I felt no glory or honor.

And the only thing that flashed through my mind, was that I hadn't been... defiled, if you will, by my own uncle... but by a stranger. Did it make a difference in the end? No, of course not. It'd still happened. It had still hurt like a bitch. So what right do I have to call myself a Peacecraft?"

Another pause, and her eyes seemed to glisten in the dim lighting of the room.

"You're shocked, huh? Wait till you hear the rest of the story. I was twelve years old when my 'uncle' died. A car accident, that's what they said it was." Her eyes narrowed again.

"But I know better. I wasn't the only one who was being used – my 'aunt' was being treated the same. She wasn't able to help me whenever I was assaulted, but she ended her own misery, and she was the one who caused his accident, killing both him and herself. I grieved for her death; she was a good woman, not deserving of such treatment at all. She had the courage to do what I couldn't.

Maybe that's why I did deserve it."

The words were spoken in a calm, steady voice, even though it was a gruesome story. Her whole demeanor was cold and blank, her eyes vacant and empty, betraying nothing of her inner feelings.

"But I guess there was to be no rest for me. Even when I was freed of him, and for a time I even felt alive again, fate came back and slapped me in the face once again when my 'father' was killed, and I discovered that I didn't even have any kind of parents. I wasn't his biological child – and, he also told me I should watch out for OZ, before he died. But what the hell did I care about that piece of information. My fuckin' father was dying and he was telling me to..." Her hands balled together, before they untightened and her energy seemed to drain from her again.

"And the precarious world I had built by and for myself, once again fell around me. I had no father, no mother, no family. I was by myself, in a world that was at war. Everything was out of my control, except..." she trailed off as she turned her wrists out and her sleeves slipped down to reveal little pink and yellow-coloured scars, some old, others quite recent, "except my own body."

She turned them back towards her, and studied them for awhile, before she looked back up and her eyes softened a bit.

"And then there was of course a young boy I had met on a beach, quite some time ago. A boy who was strong, and righteous, in a world that had gone so horribly astray. A boy who would surely be able to do the right thing when it really mattered. Before him, I had lost all hope that good people still existed.

I met Dr. J, and he warned me to stay away from that boy and told me that he was in fact a kind young man, just determined to achieve his goals. I already knew this, of course, though I had little knowledge of people.

I came to a point where I knew that there were more of you, five pilots from the colonies. And I fully believed in my pacifist ways and clung to them; they would lead us all to peace. And lead us there, you five did.

During the war, I was viewed by some as a symbol of peace. Or, that's what you called me, didn't you, Heero?"

Her voice had turned slightly bitter, and it was apparent that she didn't agree at all.

"You were the ones that saved this world, but you didn't receive any credit. I'm still ashamed of that. I think you still are and have always been the real symbols of peace, even though you never wanted to be honored for this. I took advantage of that, though unintentionally, and I'm sorry." There was sincerity in her eyes like never before.

"But nobody ever knew of my past, and I was seen as a dainty little innocent princess, who devoted her life to pacifism, and clung to it like a dying person would to life. While all along I knew that wars were in people's nature – and fighting was necessary to satisfy people's bloodlust – I defied it and ignored it like it wasn't true. It couldn't be true: if everything else went wrong, at least I could hold onto that, couldn't I?" Cynicism.

"Some people admired me, some hated me, and most thought me crazy.

ButI admired you, Heero. Did I love you?" A small pause, perhaps for effect or another swallow of liquid. "No." Her blue eyes raised from her glass.

"Are you shocked now? I suspect you are, after all, it must've looked like I wanted nothing else.But, no, I don't. Next question. I chased you, Heero, why?

Because I wanted you to kill me. I thought that if I just bugged you, you'd finally get enough of me and shoot me. But you didn't, instead you kept me alive. And I followed you, too much acoward topull the trigger myself– and eventually met all of you. Five brave Gundam pilots, at least I'm glad I got to meet you."

A genuine smile surfaced on her face, and she leaned forward on her desk with her chin on the palm of her hand.

"Duo. You really thought I was in love with him – you felt threatened, didn't you? You thought I wanted Heero for myself, when that was the last thing on my mind. But, Duo, you're such a cheerful person. A good friend, and a good fighter. I admire you, because you are able to stand straight and be happy, even if it is only outwardly sometimes, when you have been through so much. You are courageous. I hope you don't hate me anymore, but that is more than I could ever ask. Continue to make Heero happy, as I know you will.

Trowa. You're so silent, but so strong. You have a strong personality – and a good heart. When I first met you, spoke to you, I knew you thought of me as an airhead, someone who you had to give respect, but didn't really want to. And, I can't blame you. But I saw how you looked at Quatre, with such love in your usually blank eyes... I am truly happy for you, that you have found love when you believed you were lost and alone.

Quatre. The only one of you five who I might dare to call a friend. You are so kind, you have such a big heart. You have so much to give, my friend. You treated me with respect, and you were nice to me, even when I didn't deserve any of it. From the moment I met you, and then saw your eyes light up as we once spoke of Trowa, I knew that there was true love there. And you deserve it, both of you. I wish you good luck in your life.

Wufei. I believe you hated me from the very first moment we met. You probably think I didn'tnotice youlook atme as if I were a'weak onna without honor or brains', but I did." She smirked for a moment as she thought back to it, no ill feelings at all. "And you were right, of course. I think I need to tell you what I think of you now.

I believe you are strong, and righteous. You are a noble man, and you always follow your heart. Sally is a good match for you. Be happy, I plead with you. Set your pride aside, and just tell her. I know Sally, she's a nice and kind woman."

Her eyes closed, and a single tear trickled down her face – the first real show of emotion since the beginning of her monologue.

"Heero, I am so glad that you are content with your new life, the one you've built with your love. Duo, take care of him, and yourself. I hope you two will live a long and happy life together. And the rest of you take care too. You have seen enough bloodshed and terror, that you should never have to experience it again." A quick nod and she wiped to clear the tear away.

"Why am I doing this? I don't want your pity, if that's what you think. Hell no.

Lately, I have come to the realization that I am not needed here anymore. I am no symbol of anything, except perhaps of war. People don't need my presence anymore, because every time they think of me, I'm a reminder of a past they'd rather forget."

She pushed her glass aside and straightened her black jacket, as well as her position in the chair. A hand raised to brush back some stray hairs, her eyes closed for a moment or two.

"Why am I doing this? Because I am as corrupted by wars as anyone. Because I needed to rid you five of illusions once and for all. Because I am no more than a grown woman, whose childhood was practically non-existent, a sad woman, a destroyed human. And I didn't want to leave without you knowing the truth about me and my past." Her eyes opened and she stared at nothing, an unreadable expression on her face. But her eyes... Her eyes were alive for the first time since she began to speak. They showed that she spoke the truth – they showed not a young woman, but a person far older than anyone could've thought.

"But, most of all, because I considered you my friends, even if it was only one-sided. I admire you for who you are. Five courageous men, who deserve their hard-earned peace." She placed her hands flat on the table and took a deep breath.

"I have resigned just this morning, April 1. Everything is being taken care of as I speak. I wish to leave my house – the mansion – to you all, to use as you see fit."

And before the camera blinked out and she extracted the tape to send to the five ex-Gundam pilots, Relena Peacecraft smiled again, and looked straight into the camera that was placed in front of her.

"We all hide behind our own masks, and it was about time I took off mine. But now... It is time for peace and happiness. It is time you all learn to really live. Masks have no place in this new world you have led us to. I love you, Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Winner and Wufei Chang. You will always remain in my heart."

Dark, even for me. I realized that I wrote this story for two reasons; I wanted to show everybody that Relena isn't necessarily a saint or a freak, that she's not always annoying the hell out of people (though some of you might still think so). And I wanted to discuss the subject of incest and rape.

I want to express my deepest apologies if I offended anyone, that is absolutely not what I intended.

Comments and criticism much appreciated!