I wiped my tears away, No use crying about things you can't change anymore. I opened the toilet door and took a quick look in the mirror. Ugh, I look like a total mess! I splashed some water in my face and decided to go to the library. There was no point in sitting in the cafeteria anymore, I didn't felt like sitting alone.

My best friend had officially ditched me.

He had missed school for two weeks, didn't call me and wouldn't answer any of my calls. Then yesterday I found him hanging out with Sam Uley. He had changed, a lot, his hair was cut short and he was taller and more buff, his entire attire screamed danger, even more than normal, he always had been a hothead. Normally that wouldn't scare me off, and it didn't yesterday, but he didn't acknowledged me.

I knew for sure he had seen me, it was as if I didn't exist for him.

Not that it ever made any sense that he was friends with me anyway, the rational part of my brain told me once again.

He had always been the popular one, dating all the 'hot' girls as he liked to put it, he was a player really. That bothered me more than anything, I wondered what girl he hadn't slept with. It hurt me. I loved him, always did, but I never dared to tell him. Maybe because how he only would look for a good night and then be done with it. But most of all I was scared of his reaction, what if he left me? He did that without you telling him anyway, I told myself.

Days that he would spent with his 'girls' I would sit in the library alone. It was quiet and peaceful.

Like me, as he once told me.

I was the loser, always had been. People never understood why he was friends with me, he could get so much better. But it was like he didn't care, he was sweet to me, stood up for me and most importantly of all he was my best friend for as long as I remembered. I saw him for what he really was, or what I had thought he had been. Obviously I couldn't be more wrong.

Today he came back from his 'two weeks of absence'. Of course I was angry, I mean he hadn't called me once, I had been worried. I actually was ready to confront him for the first time in my life, so I did.

I had walked up to him, the Paul Reid, the one everyone looked up to, not really caring about the 'new friends' he was with.

I should have known better.

- Flashback

I marched right up to him, my usual shyness completely forgotten, "What the fuck is your problem" I yelled at him. (yes, you heard it right, I, Lily Allery, had cussed).

He looked shocked, and a little part of me took pleasure out of that fact.

"Why haven't you answered any of my calls, I was worried sick" this sentence however didn't come out as confident, my anger was replaced by fear when I took in his expression.

His face, nothing like the gentle one I once knew, was stone cold and his jaw set. I flinched back. "Paul?" I whispered.

He didn't look me in the eye, this was what was scaring me mostly, normally his eyes would show me the truth, and they would tell me how everything would be alright.

Slowly he opened his mouth, "Call you?" he sneered "Why would I? I have nothing to tell you" I took a step back, hurting, why would he say that to me.

He still wouldn't look me in the eye, and I hoped he wasn't saying what I thought he was telling me..

"What do you mean!" I screamed "What you finally found out I wasn't good enough for you? Little late don't you think!" I took a deep breath and tried to push my upcoming tears away "Maybe you should have told me that all those years ago, then maybe I would have had somebody to go to now"

"What has gotten into you Paul?" I whispered my eyes tearing up.

His eyes seemed to soften for a second before hardening.

"Life" he told me "are you done now?" he said while lifting his gaze, to look me in the eye for the first time, when our eyes met, he froze.

My emotions finally got a hold on me "I should have stayed away when I still could" I whispered to him, then I turned and ran. Tears streaming freely down my face. His eyes hunting me, they had held noting, no remorse, no lies, no nothing. Guess life did catch up with him, I knew it was too good to be true. That moment right there I could feel my heart and with it my hope shattering in a million little pieces.

- Now

I opened the door to the hallway and walked towards the library. However I walked straight into somebody.

My face immediately flushed "I'm sorry" I muttered. Looking up I saw Jared standing there, One of Sam Uley's groupies.

I quickly looked down again, trying to hide the fact that my face was tear stained and tried to walk around him.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, I stopped to look at his face to see whether he was kidding or not. He looked genuine. Don't trust him. My brain told me.

A lonely tear trickled down my face, Traitors, "Why would you care" I tried to walk away but he stopped me.

"Look, he didn't mean what he said outside, he really cares about you, we can see that" Jared said.

"Well it's a little late for that now don't you think?" I asked him my voice breaking and tears falling again. Here we go again, I just got myself together!

"But you can tell your precious Sam he can be proud, he finally did it didn't he." I told him "Why couldn't you all just leave him alone" I said before running out of the building. My plan of going to the library the last thing on my mind now.

I really didn't wanted to stay at school anymore, so I decided to leave.

Well, that's a first isn't it.

Paul had tried a hundred times to get me to ditch class with him, saying it was healthy to ditch a couple classes, but I never wanted too. To afraid to get into trouble. I felt a humourless smile forming on my face. Why is it I come out of my shell after losing him.

I got into my car and drove out of the parking lot.

Where to go now?