Who said that a curse could not be hilarious?
. . . . .
"Witch!"
"Evil!"
"She will kill our children with her magic!"
"Devil's maid!"
Those were some of the things you were used to hearing. It was just normal for you; after all, that was one of the inconveniences that had to be a sorceress, as you were. That is to say: appear to be an ordinary human, but at the same time have the power to do things that many would not even dare to imagine in their craziest dreams. It was something that you could not change about yourself ("When magic is born in a person, you can never purge it", that was one of the first things you had learned about your 'birth condition'), and also something that differentiated you from all the rest of the world. People were afraid of you, but you did not care anymore; you had plenty of time to get used to it since you were a baby, when you started to show your first signs of your 'demonic powers'. Even today you still remember the screams of your family servant when she saw you make the cat levitate for the first time, at the tender age of three. You still remembered every year living in that horrible house, and the night when you finally escaped at age 12, after years of attempts by your parents to make you look and be 'normal'.
Now you were 14 years old, and you lived in a small cottage in a HUGE forest near a few villages, the whole area far enough from your home of origin to not bring painful memories to your mind. You loved this place, and you were thankful for having found it every day since the day you moved in. Your cottage was silent and simple, far enough from the near villages to avoid any kind of annoying visit to your home... Except for the rare intrusions of curious young boys attracted by the rumors about you (plus a furious mob on one occasion during your arrival to the place, but you had already fixed that that a long, long time ago). Rare intrusions like this one...
Yawning you got out of bed; it could not have been more than 7 in the morning, but the knocks on the door clearly were not from the wind. Fuck, this definitely was not a good time to deal with idiots looking for magic that would make them 'invincible'.
Even half-sleepy you managed to rub your eyes and stumble towards the door, which you opened just in time to interrupt the dispute between the two guys at your entrance.
"I TOLD YOU THOSE WERE JUST MYTHS! DO NOT YOU SEE THAT THIS IS ONLY A FUCKING ABANDONED HOU-"
"Good morning," you murmured, the fatigue still noticeable in your voice, causing the screaming boy right in front of you to suddenly turn pale and turn. His eyes were bright candy red, and his pale skin seemed even more emaciated with the expression of panic written all over his face. His hair was jet-black, unlike his companion's, whose hair was of the color of the dark honey. He also had kind eyes but shy by nature. Both were dressed in peasant clothes, unlike you, that were currently wearing comfortable pajamas (clearly modern for the time) made with your magic. The boy with the screaming voice also wore an old hat over his rebellious hair.
"Can I help you?" You asked seeing the obvious impression in the face of the first boy. The brunette stuttered fearfully and finally dared to ask.
"uH... i-IS THIS WHERE... uH... tHE WITCH LIVES?" his voice was terribly shy.
You frowned and nodded slowly, still suspecting. He seemed confused.
"uH... cAN WE SEE HER?" He added, not seeming to understand very well that YOU were the person they were apparently looking for.
"You're in front of her" you responded self-reliantly, causing the apparent impression of the first boy.
"WAIT, ARE YOU THE WITCH? THE MAD, DEVILISH OLD WOMAN? THE FUCKING DEVIL-WORSHIPER?!" He asked, clearly heedless of his own words. Your frown increased.
"Yes I am. Even though; first, I do not have any kind of relationship with the devil and I DO NOT WHORSHIP HIM, and two, I doubt that I am much older than you" you said, for a moment the boy's face blushed slightly with embarrassment, for the first time really thinking about what you could do to him if you just wanted. "And if you have nothing better to do than ask me annoying questions at dawn I recommend you leave here NOW" he paled again, and you were about to close the door.
"w-WAIT!" The other boy interrupted you before you could shut the door in their faces "... wE NEED... hELP WITH A... uH, 'mAGIC' ISSUE" he murmured, your attention was immediately attracted by his words.
You thought for a few seconds, wondering if it would be a good idea to let two unconvinced kids go to your house. But the look of the second finally managed to defeat you...
"Okay..." at last you said, opening your door "you can enter".
The two young boys walked slowly and fearfully inside, visibly hesitant when they looked at your potions and 'magic objects' hanging throughout the room and accumulated on the shelves.
"So? What is the problem?" You asked. The first boy opened his mouth to speak, but immediately his gaze slid to the floor. The second tried to explain.
"iS... 'dELICATE'" his attempt did not seem to be much appreciated by his friend, judging from the look he just gave him.
"Come on, I'm sure you can not surprise me: I've seen everything" you said, and unfortunately it was true. Money was not earned by itself, especially when you were a 12-year-old girl accused of making deals with the devil and without a family to support you. At least this boy did not seem to have problems 'down there'...
He hesitated again, before looking at you.
"DO YOU PROMISE YOU WON'T BE A DICK ABOUT IT?" He asked in a serious tone, and you nodded, just before he put his hands on his hat and lifted it slowly, sliding it out of his head…
"Pfffff…"
You tried to hold back your laughter, before it inevitably began to come out. "AHH HA HA! WHO THE HELL DID YOU INSULT TO END UP LIKE THIS?!"
The boy's face became as red as a ripe apple, and his hands raised to cover the two black little kitten ears now revealed that were above his head, which shook slightly when they were touched.
"FUCK! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD NOT LAUGH!" he shouted.
"That was before I knew what it was!" You replied, wiping the tears from your eyes. You had read about such curses before in the magic books, but you had never had the chance to see it in real life… until now. And god: those ears looked adorable! It was a real pity you had to get rid of them…
Carefully and with your chest still trembling with laughter, you placed one of your fingers over the cat's ears on the boy's head, muttering one of the many spells you had memorized over the years, before a spark came from your finger and the ears disappear immediately, for the boy's relief. He sighed audibly at not having to have those hairy things on his head anymore. His companion at a near distance also seemed impressed, and for the first time you realized how rigid his legs looked... how strange…
The first boy looked at him and another sigh of relief came out of his mouth "REMIND ME NEVER TO TALK TO ANOTHER CRAZY OLD BITCH IN MY LIFE" he said through clenched teeth, and his sentence gave you a small idea of where that curse might have come from in the first place. He turned to you.
"THANK YOU..." he muttered, apparently reluctant to let the words of thanks come out of his mouth, although you did not blame him if it was based solely on your first reaction to his 'magic problem'. "HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?" he asked, finally.
You thought for a second before answering. "Nothing" the boy's eyes opened with impression, probably expecting you to demand a fortune in exchange for your services. "It did not cost me anything" you said, and it was true: luckily, the magic need of that curse was frankly low, so getting rid of it had cost you practically nothing. "Also, you just managed to wake me up AND make me laugh at 7 o'clock in the morning, and let me tell you, boy, that is not something that many people manage to do" you laughed again.
He seemed to be about to answer, but his mouth closed and he remained silent, almost confused by your gesture of humor. You got a paper from your work table and picked up a pencil with which you quickly sketched something, then you passed the paper to the boy.
"Here you are" he stared at the (NON-SATACNIC!) signs drawn on the old sheet of yellowed paper "Draw that on the ground and I'll come, just in case you need me to get rid of another curse and you can not come over here" you explained to him with a small friendly smile on your face.
With his cheeks partially flushed with candy red, the human boy murmured a thank you, before both he and his still impressed companion rushed out of your house. Something told you that those two still did not trust you completely… Whatever.
You smiled when the door closed with a chirp behind them. This was going to be a meeting you would remember for quite some time... and you also expected to be able to see them both again, even if it meant having to fix a few more curses.
... Although you must say that you still felt a little worried about the origin of the problem.
. . . . .
Notes: ... Special thanks to: CherryCharix in wattpad for the inspiration for this 'possible new fanfiction'. - If everything goes well there will be new chapters before next week!