Today
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Wizards of Waverly Place or the following song which is sung by Gary Allan. The imagination it took to write the story is all my property though.
Author's Note: I heard this song on my new CD and knew I had to do something with it. I hope you all enjoy.
"If anyone has any objection as to why these two souls should not be united in holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."
Today she smiled for all the pictures
And he was right there with her
Making all the memories without me
"Okay, now the one with just the bride and groom," the cameraman directed, motioning for the bridal party to step aside and allow the happy couple their time in the spotlight.
Justin Russo sat at a table in the corner of the reception hall, invited but forgotten, tossing back whiskey in his own private salute to the happy couple. He still hadn't figured out just why he was at the wedding, watching the duo share their vows and begin their journey of happily-ever-after. And he had yet to figure out why he had stuck around for the celebration afterwards when all he wanted to do was curl up in his darkened bedroom, shutting out the world around him as he contemplated his slightly miserable existence.
But free alcohol was free alcohol, no matter the source and the reason behind it.
He had watched the procession of photographs being taken, her smile so dazzling that he thought the camera would shatter with its intensity. He had watched her take pictures with friends, their families, his family, the bridal party and, now, it was just the two of them. And never once did her groom leave her side. It was enough to make him sick with envy.
"Wasn't that the best ceremony? And didn't she look amazing?" his sister gushed, taking a seat beside him as she slipped off her heels. She grabbed the glass out of his hand and downed it in one swift swallow as she rubbed her tired feet with her other hand. "I can't believe they got everything done in six months."
"Shouldn't you be sitting with the newly wedded couple? Or is that too much bliss for you?" he asked sardonically, pouring himself another glass from the bottle he had nabbed before the hall filled with people.
"Geez, Justin, you sure you didn't mistake this for a funeral?"
"Go away, Alex."
"Now, I would, but who would keep you company while you're being all grumpy?"
"Alex—"
"But, seriously, I know you're not big on weddings but even you have to admit that they look happy."
Justin focused on the couple in question who were still posing in front of the flashing bulb. His sister was right, the bride did look amazing. The way the grin lit up her face, brightening the same eyes that had looked at him in tears. The way her hair swept her back in curls that had been meticulously done up for the wedding but were now in a freefall. The way the gown hugged her curves and bared the creamy skin of her shoulders, skin that he was an expert at just how soft it was.
She was nothing short of radiant and the man beside her deserved the beauty in his arms. Especially since he was smart enough to make her his permanently.
"She does look happy," he conceded, his tone soft as another pain shot through his heart. And it was not just the whiskey that caused his stomach to burn.
"Justin, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just…I think I need some air."
He ignored his sister's calls as he jumped out of his seat and made a mad dash out of the reception hall, leaning against the side of the building and gasping for breath. He knew the wedding was going to affect him, he just hadn't known it would be this bad. He felt as though he was having a heart attack but the educated part of him knew it was no more than simple anxiety that came from knowing what he could have had if he hadn't been such an idiot.
She had given him more than a few chances to stake his claim. Had she not told him blatantly that if he wanted her then he better do something about it or she would move on? Had she not given him the opportunity to take the place of the groom and share a future with her? And had he not chosen to take the route he had taken, alone and wishing for a forever that was no longer his to have?
Two years previously…
Today I thought about the moment
I could've said I loved her
And promised her forever together
It had started sprinkling when they went into the movie and now that it was over, the clouds had opened up to deliver a torrential downpour. Laughing, they half-walked, half-jogged to her one bedroom apartment six block away, neither caring enough about the level they were getting soaked or thinking about taking a cab instead. Once they arrived at the apartment, she unlocked the door and both pushed their way inside.
Used to this routine, Justin made his way into the tiny kitchen to start the kettle for hot cocoa as she withdrew to her bedroom to dry off and change. Just as the water began to boil, he went to the bathroom to do the same and returned when she was filling two mugs.
They took their cocoa and retreated to the living room, taking their places on the sofa as she turned on the television. Usually, neither paid attention to what was showing, keeping the volume on low to provide background noise as they conversed about whatever was on their minds. Tonight, she was quiet and almost an hour had passed before he finally inquired as to what was going on in her head.
"What are we doing, Justin?" She sounded tired. A bit defeated.
He shifted in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable as though he already knew what direction their discussion was going to take. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, we've been hanging out nonstop for the last seven years. Neither of us has dated anyone seriously enough to want to introduce them to our families, let alone each other. We find excuses as to why we can't commit to anyone and choose to hang out instead of going out to meet new people. And I can't count how many times I've been complimented on my handsome boyfriend in reference to you or how many times I haven't corrected the claim," she ranted. "So, what are we doing?"
"We're friends. Why do you have to analyze it or make it to be anything more than that? I thought you were happy with the way things are."
"I was…I am…but Justin, what if being 'just friends' isn't enough for me anymore? I want a husband, kids, and a house in the suburbs. I want to wake up knowing that the man beside me loves me and wants all those things too."
"I don't know if I can give you that. I don't know if I can give anybody that."
Her eyes were pleading, tears threatening to spill over, and her voice was choked by the heartfelt emotion. "Can't you just try? Don't you love me enough to do that, at least?"
He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, and then opened it again. Swallowing hard, he slowly shook his head. "I thought we were on the same page. You know, friends. If I'd known…I don't love you like that and I don't know if I ever can."
It was a lie. They both knew it. But instead of arguing like she once would have done, she merely looked straight ahead as she nodded her head in acceptance. "Then I think you better go."
Justin stood from the couch, went to the bathroom to gather his wet clothes and made his way to the front door. With his hand on the knob, he turned back to look at her huddled form on the sofa. "You still want to grab coffee tomorrow after you get off of work?"
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. "It probably wouldn't be such a good idea given…everything."
He did not speak another word but simply exited the apartment, leaving his best friend behind, sitting pitifully in the same position.
Six and one half months ago…
Today it really hit me
That she don't really miss me
She's found a new beginning and I'm wishing
I had one more chance
They had not seen each other since that rainy autumn night a year and a half before and if anyone was to blame for the non-communication, it was him. He avoided her frequent calls for the first two months, avoided any place that he knew she loved or they had a common interest in, and even changed his route to and from work on the off chance that she would catch him unaware. As time continued in that fashion, the phone calls began to dwindle and the messages she left were brief instead of lengthy. And the one time he decided to brave one of the places they were regulars at, he sat at their usual table until closing only to have her never appear.
The fourth month in, the phone calls stopped altogether.
The times he dialed her number, only to linger over the send button and finally hit end, were too numerous to count. He reasoned that it was because she didn't really need him bothering her, that she was over their friendship and it wasn't fair to rehash old wounds. He reasoned that it was because she was right and unless he was ready to commit to something more than just hanging out, he should not contact her to offer only empty promises. However, no matter how he reasoned, he knew it was because he was just a coward.
Neither had spoken in so long that it took him by surprise when he saw an email from her when he arrived home from work.
Meet me at the bakery we love tomorrow afternoon. I have something to tell you.
He debated whether he should show for the next twenty-four hours. What could she possibly have to tell him that she could not say over the phone or in her message? Did she want to revisit that night? Was he ready to finally give her an answer, to give her the life she wanted? To give her the life that she deserved?
The decision came as he ended his shift and headed in the direction of the café instead of the one that would lead him home.
The smell of coffee mingling with freshly produced pastries and bread almost caused him to stagger in their intensity and his mouth immediately began to water with anticipation like it always did. His eyes swept the crowd of people both sitting at the tables and standing in line, finally landing on the object of his search and he took a moment to study the woman he had once been so close with.
She wore a simple forest green sweater that was cut low enough to be indecent if not for the white shirt she wore underneath. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail that and the few cosmetics that she had on enhanced and brightened the features of her face. Whoever she was on her cell phone with was causing her to laugh, causing her eyes to sparkle in a way that he used to be the cause of.
For a moment, he could see a picture of what a future with them together would be like. He could picture being the one to cause the light in her eyes to show and the adorable laugh to escape from her lips. He could imagine going up to the table and, instead of the awkward greeting he knew they would be sharing, he would envelop her in his arms and give her another reason for the grin on her face.
Shaking his head to dispel the not unwanted images from his head, he made his way to the table and touched her on the shoulder to alert her to his presence. "I'll call you back," she said to the person on the phone, closing it to end the call and slipping it in her purse before standing. She threw her arms around his neck. "I've missed you."
Justin briefly closed his eyes and inhaled the familiar scent of her perfume as he returned the too short embrace, feeling an acute sense of loss when she disengaged and took her seat again. He did the same, taking in the glowing woman before him and wondering if she had always looked that way or if it was something new. "You didn't give me too many details in your note."
She laughed. "Of course not, Justin, because I know you wouldn't have shown if I had given too much away. I figured that I needed to provide some mystery to bring you here."
"So why did you bring me here?"
"I'm getting married," she announced joyously, bringing her hand up to show him the diamond that had taken residence on her finger.
Three simple words with so many contexts that had him feeling like the wind had been knocked out of his lungs. "You're getting married? When?"
"I don't know. A year, maybe, probably less if we can get the arrangements in order."
"When did you…when did he propose?"
"Last night. I know we haven't spoken in a while but I wanted you to be the first to hear the news. My parents don't even know yet."
Some part of him, the part that had hoped that she had missed him enough to pine for him, died. It was foolish of him to believe that she wouldn't move on with her life and find someone who loved her the way he was too scared to try to do. She deserved to find someone who could give her that life and he deserved to be faced with the possibility of a life of loneliness. But it would take him a long time to squash the niggling voice in the back of his head that asked if he really could've been so stupid to think that she would still need him, engaged or not.
She had been talking about her future husband and was at the tail end of describing him and their whirlwind romance thus far when he focused. "…And his parents live in Vermont so we were thinking about getting married there but there's nothing that can beat autumn in New York for a wedding, you know?"
Justin cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I was talking about where we were going to have the wedding. With Drew's schedule, it's going to be hard to set a date let alone a location. But whenever it is, you'll be there, right?"
He wanted to say no. God, did he want to say no. But he couldn't risk causing that ray of home to dissipate from her eyes. So, he nodded his head and uttered a strangled, "Of course I'll be there. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
She let out a girlish squeal, clapped her hands, and began talking about the future nuptials again while he allowed her voice to become a distant drone. And as he sat there, going over the chance that he forfeited but would give every one of his earthly possessions to get back, it hit him that their meeting today could be boiled down to a courtesy visit.
Because in all the time that he had been missing the sound of her voice, the touch of her skin and the feel of her body pressed against him when she fell asleep during late night movies, she hadn't missed him.
Today is the happiest day of her life
I should be happy for her, today
So tell me why there are these tears in my eyes
The cold had seeped through his jacket, causing him to continuously shiver, knocking him out of his trip down memory lane. He wanted nothing more than to escape to his apartment on the other side of the city but he knew that he had to have a final word with the bride. Not because of their history or because of the courteous nature his mother had instilled in him at a young age. But because if he didn't have a conversation with the bride that ended in an official goodbye, his mind would never cease to deliver him an onslaught of flashbacks and fantasies of what might have been.
Swiping his face that was not damp just because of the moisture in the air, he made his way back to the reception. It was still going on with as much energy as it had when he made his exit. The band was still playing a cross between big band and the latest top forty for the dancing guests, the bartender was still mixing his signature drink for the ones who already had too much, those who remained mingled with others they had not seen and would not see for many more months to come. It was the type of party he knew she had always wanted to attend but was too much of an outsider to garner an invitation to.
Ignoring Alex's questioning frown, he walked up to the couple on the dance floor and tapped the bride on the shoulder just as the band slowed the tempo. He hoped that the smile on his face was convincing.
"Hey, I just wanted to say congratulations before I head out."
She looked surprised but there was understanding in her eyes as she shook her head. "How about a dance before you leave."
"Nah, I don't want to keep you from your husband." He nearly choked on the last word but pride kept him from losing his composure.
"Drew doesn't mind, do you Drew?" The groom shook his head, kissed her on the cheek and proceeded to make his way to some of their guests waiting in the wings. "See, now you have to dance with me."
"I don't—"
"Justin, it's my wedding. Don't tell me that you'd disappoint a bride on her wedding day."
And because he could never say no to that look of hope and expectation on her face, he took her hand in his and wrapped an arm around her waist. "It was a beautiful ceremony," he muttered, not knowing what else to say to the woman who had slipped away and who he currently was keeping a hold of by the tips of his fingers.
"Thank you. I'm glad you could come. Alex said she wasn't sure if you would be able to because of work."
"Trust me. I wouldn't miss this for the world."
They swayed together until the end of the song, until the last note was drawn out and replaced by a drum beat. They twirled around as though they were the couple in love, as though it was their wedding being celebrated, until it was no longer acceptable for him to hold her as close as he was. They moved around the dance floor as one whole until the groom came to reclaim his bride and they became two parts once again.
But before they separated completely and withdrew to the lives that lay before them, he gathered her into his arms and softly kissed her cheek. "Goodbye Harper," he whispered into her ear before she was led away from him for good.
He returned to the chill of the night, wiped his eyes and started his journey home.
Six hours before…
The pews of the church were filled with witnesses to the couple's union, not one person in the bride or groom's life willing to miss being an audience to this pivotal moment in their lives. Gardenias, not roses like many other brides chose, lined the aisle and were held in her hands. The dress she wore had been his mother's since Alex made it a point to mention she wanted something more modern when she married and her parents had eloped. The veil that was pinned into her auburn curls covered her face but there was no hiding the radiant beauty that she exuded.
He had chosen to sit somewhere in the middle. Sitting in the back would have made him seem callous and as if he was looking for an easy escape—which he was—and he couldn't bear to be in the front row, watching as she exchanged vows with a man who wasn't him. The middle was best, he decided, since it allowed him to get lost in the sea of people.
The vows had been exchanged and he had survived it with no problem. The problem came when the minister got to the next part. "If anyone has any objection as to why these two souls should not be united in holy matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."
Oh, he had an objection. He had many of them, to be exact. He was in love with the bride; she had loved him since they were children. There had been a future when she still obsessed with becoming his, he knew, he had seen it. It should be him standing in front of their family and friends, it should be him living the life that was about to become someone else's. He should be the one to be the father of her children and have the house in the suburbs with four-legged furry pet running around.
But he clamped his fingers on the edge of the pew and bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood to keep the objections from escaping. And before he knew it, the ring was on her finger and the minister had announced them to be man and wife right before her lips were captured in her first kiss sanctioned by God.
And before he knew it, the future he had once experienced was nothing but a whisper on the breeze.
Today
He told that he loved her
Put a ring around her finger