The Birds and the Bees
The moment Kazuma Kuwabara first laid his eyes on Yukina, he knew that this girl was his one and only love. It didn't matter that he only saw her picture briefly in a video - a single look at her was all he needed to be absolutely sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the beautiful ice maiden. Their later meeting only confirmed that his determination was justified. She wasn't just astoundingly beauteous with her long aqua hair, radiant crimson eyes, delicate features, perfectly shaped body and the most charming smile the orange-head ever had the pleasure to behold. She was also the kindest being on Earth - nice, caring, innocent, pure. To put it plainly: she was an angel reincarnated.
For a while Kuwabara was in seventh heaven just because of being able to hold Yukina's hand and listen to her chiming voice. It took the wielder of the Spirit Sword some time until it dawned on him that this could be very likely all he would ever get. Sadly, the koorime was probably too pure to comprehend his unending love which he declared to her on every suitable occasion. Of course, Kuwabara wasn't a man (or better to say a teenager) who would give up easily.
So it happened that one lovely sunday morning Kuwabara was climbing the many steps leading to Genkai's temple with a plan which would hopefully solve all his problems. He found Yukina in a nearby clearing, feeding the local fauna consisting mainly of birds and deer which flew/run away after his arrival. Secretly he thanked Enma for his enormous luck - he would be hardly able to choose a more romantic place.
„Hello, Kazuma." The ice maiden dressed in her traditional kimono welcomed him merrily. Her sweet voice made Kuwabara's knees tremble and almost let him forget what he came here for.
„Hello, dear Yukina." The orange-head replied, a good portion of his confidence suddenly gone. He quickly gathered what was left of it and presented the girl with a dazing smile. „I... was wondering... if you would like to learn more about human greeting customs?"
„Of course, Kazuma. You know that I always love to learn something new about humans."
Kuwabara decided not to lose more time, otherwise he would soon lose something else – his courage and determination. Looking into those crimson eyes of hers was hypnotizing and it often made his mind go blank.
„When you meet a friend you haven't seen for a while and are happy to see him, you do… this." Kuwabara leaned down and softly connected his lips with hers. It was just a brief moment, he wasn't the type of guy who would take advantage of an innocent girl.
„That was funny." Yukina giggled when their lips parted. „What do you call this?"
„A kiss." Kuwabara replied dreamingly. It was even better than he expected! Yukina's initial reaction was positive which indicated that she probably wouldn't be opposed to repeating this action in the future. His head in the clouds, the orange-haired teen imagined Yukina greeting him with a kiss during each of his following visits. With the time he will arrange for her to learn more about human relationships, gradually she will become accustomed to his expressions of love and he will finally win her heart...
As usual when being in Yukina's glamorous presence, Kuwabara paid little or none attention to his surroundings. That was why he didn't sense Kurama's arrival until the redhead, who was already entering the clearing, greeted them aloud. Kuwabara didn't experience any disconcertment. It wasn't like a dangerous demon would sneak up on him. Well, Kurama was a demon and he was dangerous – but not to him. At least Kuwabara thought so before Yukina turned and run over to the newcomer. Helpless, Kuwabara could only watch with his mouth open as Yukina came closer to the redhead, stood at her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his.
If anyone ever wanted to see a thousand-year-old fox utterly perplexed, this was the right moment.
„... Yukina?" The redhead stared at the happily beaming koorime, his handsome face displaying something very similar to a shock. Then the slightly dilated pupils of his green eyes adjusted and got fixed on Kuwabara who stood still like a statue a few metres away behind the ice maiden's back, identifying him immediately as the true cause of this messed up situation. „What was that for?"
Yukina looked at the redhead insecure. „I… Kazuma said this is how you greet a friend when you are very glad to see him. Did I get it wrong?"
Kurama eyed her warily. „While a simple kiss on the cheek is acceptable among friends, the variant you used is a more intimate one, reserved rather for a boyfriend."
„But you are a boy - and you are my friend, right?" Yukina's big red eyes were blinking with confusion.
„Well, yes but that's not the point. You see, 'boyfriend' is a human word describing a special kind of friend. The term is loosely connected to human social ties and ways of reproduction."
„Oh, I never heard of that. What exactly is a boyfriend?"
Kurama gave the ice maiden a contemplative look, then shot a sidelong glance at Kuwabara and the orange-head could swear he saw gold flashing maliciously in his emerald green eyes. His suspicion was confirmed when the demon smiled politely and stated: „Yukina, as much as I enjoy your company, I have an important matter to settle with master Genkai right now. But I am confident that Kuwabara here is the right person to tell you everything you need to know about human sexuality and courting rituals."
And with that said the redhead took his leave.
Now, this wasn't going the way Kuwabara planned it. It was true that he wanted Yukina to learn all of this... eventually. But not right now and definitely not from him. Actually, he had for to enlist Keiko's or Botan's help. Not only were they Yukina's friends, they were also girls – and thus generally much better suited to explain these things to another girl than any boy including Kuwabara himself. He had of course a quite good theoretical knowledge of the whole subject, but knowing it was completely different from talking about it!
Red in face, Kuwabara stared at Yukina who looked up to him hopefully, eager to gain new information. Scratching the top of his head the youth spoke weakly: „Err… Yukina, ever heard of the birds and the bees?"
Some time later…
It was late afternoon and Genkai was coming back from a walk in the forest which covered a large portion of her estate when she saw her protégé flittering around a meadow in a strange manner. Any random moment the gentle koorime either knelt down to examine something in the grass or jumped up to peer at some of the lower branches of the surrounding trees.
„Yukina, is there a problem?"
The koorime glanced up from her investigations, her forehead furrowed a bit. „They don't do it." Her voice had a slightly accusing tone.
„Who and what?" Genkai was bemused.
„The birds and the bees. They don't kiss. They even have no lips to do so. Why is Kazuma pulling my leg?"
„What did he say?"
„I wanted him to explain to me what a boyfriend is but he started to talk about some birds and bees instead. It was such a confusing speech, I am not quite sure what it was all about. Could you tell me what a boyfriend is?"
The birds and the bees! Such a dumb cliché. I bet the fool even screwed the whole story up a lot, no wonder she is so confused. Genkai thought. She looked at the poor girl with sympathy. Yukina came from a very different world where love between men and women was non-existent and therefore many of the simplest principles of human interaction were a mystery for her. The old woman speculated for a while how to put her answer into words the ice maiden would comprehend.
„Basicaly, a boyfriend is a very special friend. He visits you often, talks to you, listens to your problems, undertakes entertaining activities with you and such."
„Kazuma is doing all these. Does it mean he is my boyfriend?" Yukina asked thoughtfully.
„Maybe." Genkai smiled inwardly. The idiot doesn't deserve my help at all but if it makes Yukina happy then it won't harm to push things forward a bit... The psychic was very satisfied with herself for handling the situation that well. The koorime's next question however took her breath away.
„Genkai, is Yusuke your boyfriend then? He comes to see you, you talk to each other and play those video games…"
It took all of Genkai's will power to avoid a facefault.
The End
Author's note: Liked it? Then review please...
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Really.