gone with the wind
lily woke up in a way that made her feel as if she had been drowning in an ocean. it could happen quite frequently, specially when she was at home. with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she made her way to the bathroom. after having splashed cold water on her face a few times, she gazed at her own reflection at the mirror. her skin was as pale as ever, even more if possible, and her eyes looked as if she hadn't slept for years. she continued staring, and the more she stayed in that position, the more she felt as if she was going to cry. she had to get out.
...
having a toast at one hand and a cup of tea at the other, she made a mental note not to ever drink anything before checking how hot it is. with her tongue burnt a bit at the tip, she put down the cup and the remains of her toast, closed her eyes, took a dramatic (nontheless cliche) deep breath, and apparated.
...
diogan alley was as magical as ever. with the hot summer breeze and the hum of music coming from a pub nearby, it brought out the nostalgia in lily. it never really failed to do so, anyway. the amusement lily suddenly felt by seeing the familiar place, was quick to turn into calmness, something she hadn't been able to find last night, causing her to stay awake until the early hours of the next morning. perhaps that was the reason of the frightening nightmare this morning. choosing not to think about it anymore, sinking in the happy feeling inside her, she started walking down the street. walking the desired distance probably wasn't really a good idea, as her stomach was mostly empty, and soon she found herself opening the door of the leaky cauldron. she stepped in to the pub, found a booth in a corner and ordered a butterbeer. leaky cauldron was mostly empty, probably due to the early hour of the morning. this failed to annoy lily though, for the great feeling she had that moment couldn't be disturbed by this small fact. her butterbeer was brought to her by the young bartender, who lily thought was undeniably familiar, but couldn't remember his name.
...
the first time she had come here was with alice, quite a long time ago. alice, with the rebel look in her eyes had challenged lily to order a drink, and lily, mostly for the gryffindor pride she had to defend, had held her head high, gone straight to the old man who took orders, and ordered an ogden. her request was not accomplished by the old men though, but at least she hadn't failed to amaze alice for the rebel side in her, brought out by the stubborn thought that kept repeating in her head, like a marvin gaye song her mom liked, saying," i'm supposed to be a gryffindor."
it felt unbelievingly far away, as lily had grown up to know that being brave wasn't always as easy as it sounded. not even close.
...
she sipped her butterbeer as she went soaring in thoughts alike, and somehow inevitable, she started thinking about her nightmare last night. it was a dark street with only a very few small lamps on here and there, failing to provide her with the brightness she needed. she reached to her pocket for her wand to use lumos spell, but as she swished her wand and thought lumos, nothing happened. she started to panic after doing this for several times without any results, and started doing other spells, but not even the simple ones worked. all that came to her mind was this thought "my magic's gone," and it just kept echoing in her head like crazy, and abruptly she felt all too dizzy to even be able to stand on her feet, and so she kneeled on the cold ground. she didn't know what had happened next, as she had waken up all of a sudden to in her bedroom.
...
she had always tried to bury this fear inside her, or forget it all together, but it was as if it kept coming back to her, crashing down every other thought and making her wince in pain no one else seemed to know about. magic was not only a part of her or something, magic was what made her who she was. if it was to be taken away as her, as simply as that, she would no longer be. "i'm supposed to be a gryffindor," she thought, but not even this firm statement failed to make her feel any better.
...
she must have looked pretty obvious while thinking about these dismal matters that were life, because she didn't even notice the tall bloke with handsome features stepping into the dark pub, ordering something casual and walking towards her booth with a knowing smile.
"do you usually drink on your own, evans?"
lily started at the familiar sound of sirius black, and heard the smile on his lips somehow, but didn't miss a beat.
"it's only ever a dramatic display, black."
the grin on siruis' face only widened, and without even asking, he sat down on the chair beside lily. he asked with that ever enigmatic voice, "what brings you here anyway?"
"i was brought here only by the power of the summer breeze, and a nightmare. you?"
"obviously, fate and a call of advetures."
"apparently, fate has a great sense of humor."
"no doubt."