I don't enjoy fanfiction. I was bored, and decided to write this one. If you like then whoop de doo. If you don't then I honestly don't care. I 'm not sure about spelling on this. I actually kind of like this story It shoots Valduggery in the head.
"C'mon, Val pleeeeeeeez!" Tanith Low whined. Valkyrie was climbing the stairs in Gordon's house, being followed very closely by Tanith, who was determined to follow her around until she got an answer.
"Val, if you don't tell me, I will die like- like a cat!" Tanith proclaimed. Valkyrie stopped walking, turned around to face her best friend, the book she was carrying tucked under her arm, and or hip, with a look of complete befuddlement and cynicism plastered over her face.
"Like a cat?" she asked "If I don't tell you, Skulduggery will accidently fry you against the wall?" Tanith pouted.
"You know- Curiosity killed the cat!" she explained. Valkyrie rolled her eyes and sighed audibly.
"No! Under no circumstances will I tell you about Flet- oh, hang on...!" she exclaimed, "I'll tell you about Fletcher, if you tell me about Ghastly." She bargained proudly. Tanith paused, thought about it, then agreed.
"Fine, Ghastly wears boxers." Tanith revealed grumpily "Now tell me what Fletcher wears!" Valkyrie paused, blushed, then rather un-comfortably and quickly muttered,
"Tighty-Whities." She looked away, trying to hide her embarrassment with grump, as Tanith's eyes grew as round as saucers, and she began to hoot with laughter. Valkyrie gave up, and stomped into her room. A few minutes later, Tanith dramatically burst through the door, and flopped onto Valkyrie's bed. Valkyrie gave her a half hearted glare. "What is it?" An evil grin spread over Tanith's face.
"If we've figured out what Ghastly wears, and what Fletcher wears..." she paused for effect, but nearly bursting with glee burst out "Skulldugery!" which immediately had both of them rolling round in hysterics. After a bit, they decided to take the tactical approach.
"So," Tanith was saying, adopting a business like manner, "either we wait until he isn't focusing on us, like when he's fighing a vampire or something, and yank his trousers down, or one of us has to get him in the zone."
"And suffer the wrath of China?" Valkyrie said, eyes wide "No way!"
"Or," came a wonderful voice from the doorway, making both of them jump "You could ask me youself..." without waiting for a reply, she continued. "After so many years as a skeleton, having skin and various other undergarments is quite new to him, so when I was able to convince him to wear them-"
"Oh great." Tanith interrupted.
"It was either superman briefs, or nothing." This causing Valkyrie and Tanith to sink into uproarious laughter, was soon silenced by China. "I went for nothing. It suits his aura."
After a moment's silence, Valkyrie ran into the bathroom to be sick, and Tanith bolted out of the room to try and find some way to booting the disturbing mental picture from her brain.