Author's notes - This is supposed to be incredibly stupid, so don't expect it to be a masterpeice or something. But please, grab a seat and enjoy my first story, which I wouldn't have published if it weren't for my sister, mom, my friend The Phantom Murderer and two other friends of mine. This is for you!

Disclaimer - I don't own Lord of the Rings or Mawson, but one day, I shall own Adelaide!

Haldir Interviews Sir. Douglas Mawson!

"Hey guys, I have an awesome idea!" Faramir exclaimed before seating himself.

Gandalf wasn't interested at all. Why did he volunteer for director? Why did Aragorn have to suggest such a stupid idea? Recently, Aragorn thought it would be great for him and a few friends (Gandalf, Legolas, Haldir, Pippin, Merry and Faramir.) and himself to go interviewing. Why not? I don't know. Gandalf volunteered to be director for an educational experience. So far, all they had done was attempt to interview Marilyn Munroe, and it was going great until her manager kicked them out of her dressing room because Pippin, accidentally set fire to a random feather boa with the camera. Now, Faramir thought of an awesome idea! Well, Gandalf wasn't listening. He'd rather read the newspaper like all boring wizards do.

"We should go interview some one really old so we have a less chance of setting something on fire!" Faramir stated, as the interviewing gang were seated by the fireplace at Merry's house.

"What makes you think old people don't have flammable stuff … and if you think it through, Pippin could set anything on fire. Right, Pip?" Merry asked. Pippin nodded enthusiastically, while shoving potato chips in his mouth. Legolas sighed. "Pippin, that's disgusting." "Wha? Tha I can se ire' o' e'eryhing?" he said, while spitting chewed up chips all over the floor. "No. THAT!" Legolas pointed at the mess on the floor. Pippin just shrugged. "So what? Get Gollum to eat it all up. No big deal."

"I know! Let's interview Christopher Columbus!" Merry piped in.

"He's dead." Gandalf stated, without removing his gaze from his newspaper.

"James Cook?"

"Dead."

"Julius Caesar?"

"Murdered."

"William the Conqueror?"

"Dead."

"Shakespeare?"

"Dead."

"Oliver Cromwell?"

"Dead, and if he were alive he'd accuse us of having fun for he is a blithering idiot!"

"Charles the first?"

"Executed."

"Queen Victoria?"

"Dead."

"Mawson?" all heads turned to the hobbit. "Who's Mawson?" Aragorn wondered.

"Dead." Gandalf said.

"Sir. Douglas Mawson is a famous explorer! He went to Antarctica and wrestled with Polar Bears and ate seals!" Pippin explained. Why do Hobbits know everything?

"That's disgusting." Haldir sighed.

Gandalf thunked Pippin's head with the newspaper. "Don't be stupid! He didn't eat seals and wrestled with Polar Bears! Polar Bears aren't even in the Antarctic!"

"Yes there is. I saw one." Pippin firmly replied.

Gandalf scoffed. "Did not!"

"Did too! It was five meters tall and had razor sharp teeth like a chainsaw!"

"Ohhh ..." the rest were awed. Gandalf rolled his eyes.

"And it went up to me and put up a fight beause he thought I was a penguin, but I was too good for him. Soon he got sick of me, so he went up to me ... and ATE ME!" it was silent.

"If it ate you, why are you still here?" Faramir asked. "Yeah, and what were you even doing in Antarctica?" Haldir added.

"I'm hungry." Aragorn said to no one in particular.

"I have a good idea! Let's go interview Sir. Douglas Mawson!" Merry announced.

"Awesome idea, cousin! I'll get Faramir's camera!" Pippin stood up and ran down the hallway.

"NO WAY PIPPIN! IT'S MY TURN!" Legolas screamed, and went after him, but after running only a few meters, he hit his head on the chandelier. "OWWWWW!" he whined, before falling over and knocking over the bookshelf, and earning himself a few books on the head, and a bonus 3000 page Encyclopedia to knock him out cold.

"It's your turn to interview, HallyBoy." Aragorn said, rising as well. Haldir scowled at him and followed. "I don't even know who this idiot is ..." Faramir started screaming for Pippin to get away from his camera and leaped to his feet, so Gandalf was left alone. "He's still dead ..." he said to himself.

Please R & R.