Hiya, back for a little one shot i was inspired to write from tonight's 'Enders. Poor Lauren and Abi eh?

Enjoy, R&R please, it will cheer me up :)

"Lauren, what are we going to do?" Abi looked up at me, her eyes filling with tears. I honestly didn't have an answer, or one I'd like to suggest anyway. It was me and her now. No Dad, no Mum and no Bradley. I sometimes think if he was still here how our lives would be, maybe I wouldn't have turned to alcohol, then again maybe I would. "Lauren?" She repeated bringing me back to my senses.

"I…I," I began before stopping, reaching for her hand and letting out a sigh with a small smile. "Abi, Dad didn't do it ok? Just trust me on that. We'll get through this, we'll be fine," How could I expect her to believe me when I didn't believe myself? Okay, I believed Dad didn't do it, he may have Abi fooled but the look on his face when I asked him again told me otherwise. There was something he wasn't telling us, something he was protecting us from and as much as I wanted to know, I knew that if he was hiding it from us just to protect us and lying about attempting to murder Carl, possibly sending himself to prison, it was dangerous.

"Lauren, Dad's going to prison. He's locked up and it's taking all our money to get him out," She sighed, tears escaping from her eyes, "Is it even worth it?"

"What do you mean?" my head snapped up following what she said.

"If he says he's guilty, is there much point in forking out all of this money to defend him," She snapped, shaking her eyes of tears.

"Abi, don't" I looked at her, wanting to know where this side to my sister had emerged from. "He's our Dad and whatever he's doing, he's doing it for a reason. He's not stupid okay? And neither are you, God Abi. Can't you see he's trying to protect us? And I'm scared I really am, but we've got to stay strong, stick it out and help him okay? Whatever he or even Mum have done to us in the past, he's our Dad and we can't leave him Abs, we really can't." I sighed, closing my eyes as I felt them begin to tear, "He needs us now Abi, and we need him. I need him."

She covered my hand with hers and nodded slightly, as I watched her reconsider her words.

"But what do we do Lauren? We can't afford to live." She whispered, a small sob escaping.

"I'll sort it okay," I told her, half confident. She looked at me, raising an eyebrow, "I promise," My hand squeezed hers before I got up, ruffled her hair and headed out of the house. As I shut the back door I leaned up against it, closing my eyes and sighing. Really, I wasn't sure how I was going to fix this, I didn't know where to go or even who to talk to about it. I knew Uncle Jack was doing his best to help but he had Amy to think about and I couldn't ask him for anything more. Carol has Bi's kids for the next 3 months whilst Bianca is away on a course of some sort so she's not an option. A few months back, I'd of happily got myself involved in Derek's dodgy life to solve this, he'd of been able to help, at a cost obviously but nevertheless Abi wouldn't have been worried.

I found myself sat on the swings in the park, aimlessly letting my mind wonder, until it came to him, as it always did at some point during the day. Then it hit me. Derek had hundreds put away in the bank when he died, left for his kids. I felt a pang of guilt as I even considered asking Joey to lend me £10,000, knowing it was his dead father's money, how could I even come up with that? I'd spent the last few weeks, not avoiding him, but merely choosing the right times to leave the house and return. I'd basically spent all my time either running, at college or at counselling sessions and after this week I was sure I needed a dozen more. I sighed deeply and ran my hand through my hair, wanting to feel some sort of refreshment but failing, miserably. I thought back to Abi and the look on her face when she opened the latest lot of bills. She was merely 17 and already was dealing with massive responsibilities. She should be out, with her friends and yes getting drunk…just not to the extent I used to. And if she ever did, I'd kill her.

Maybe it was my only option? I huffed to myself, shaking my head considering the truth in that statement. He's always been my only option. Well no, but yes. He's always been the only option I'd ever consider, others never came close. God it hurt to even think back to a time when we were on good terms, not even together, before that… just friends you know? No one could imagine how much I actually missed him in my life. He was constant, right through the last 2 years and to lose that was a big kick in the gut. I blamed no one but myself, because honestly now I see it was my entire fault. I was stupid and I'm going to be all cliché now; you never know a good thing until it's gone. Joey was that good thing I just didn't know it.

Finally, after my internal battle I stood up, not really sure which conclusion I'd reached, but I began to walk towards number 23. I didn't even know what I'd say, how could I ask someone for £10,000? Especially someone you were in love with, still in love with, I don't know. How?

I reached the door and stood staring at it, as though I was convincing myself to grow some balls and knock. Or be a coward and run away. Find some vodka and cry. The only positive thing willing me on was Abi, her face this morning permanently imprinted in my mind. My baby sister was scared and it was about time I stood up and protected her, be the big sister I always should have been.

Before I knew it, I'd lifted my right arm and clenched my fist, knocking the door three solid times. It reminded me of all the times in the past when someone important came to the door, only on business. Usually the police… They'd always knock three times, almost if they had no emotion behind them. Because truthfully that was how I was feeling now, I couldn't think straight and I either no emotions or simply too many bubbling on the surface ready to implode. I felt rather than heard someone behind the door, fumbling with the key causing my heart to skip a few beats and jump into my mouth. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, preparing myself to see him. I knew Alice would be out with Scarlett, Kat was on the stall and well Michael, he'd be loitering around Jack or Janine, so that only left Joey. I had no doubt it would be him I'd become face to face with in a matter of seconds.

"Lauren?" I heard him mumble, a feint of confusion not going a miss in his voice. I dared myself to lift my head, open my eyes and breathe, face him for once. As our eyes connected, I relaxed somewhat, my shoulders lowering in one movement and my hands loosening. Something I noticed he didn't miss as his eyes did a full sweep of my body. Same old Joe.

Problem is, different Lauren.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his brows furrowing, clearly not sure what to make of my sudden arrival after avoiding him for weeks on end. To be honest, I was in the same boat. Right then I panicked, doubting my previous conclusion and wanted to do nothing but run. I couldn't do it; I couldn't beg him for money making me a sad little girl who couldn't look after her baby sister. I lost him a few months back, I couldn't lose my dignity too.

"Erm, yes" I stuttered, forgetting how to speak. I bowed my head and played with my fingers before laughing slightly and looking back up to him. "Sorry, I should go," I dared one last glance, shaking my head and turning on the spot, ready to walk away. Again.

"Lauren, wait," he called, hearing him step out of his house, his footsteps nearing. I didn't turn, but purely stopped walking, hinting him to continue. "Come inside?" His voice was softer that time, he almost sounded hurt, like he was torn between letting me leave or pulling me back in. I remained still for a few seconds before turning, keeping my head down and shuffling into the house.

I hadn't been in this house for a while, the last time being when we were together. I'd spend most nights there… and days; we never got up some of the time. I smiled slightly to myself reminiscing before realising how sad I'd sound and shaking my head, getting rid of those thoughts.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked. I could still feel his stare on me, watching me closely. I shook my head in reply, looking around the hallway averting his eyes. "Are you okay?" He repeated his earlier question. This time I looked up, desperately searching his eyes for some clue as to what he thought of my random appearance on his door step. I bet I looked proper mental, his first thought being 'oh she's drunk again'. This made me cringe and I shivered slightly at the thought.

"I'm not drunk Joey," I stated, almost as if I'd suffered a case of verbal diarrhoea. I could feel my cheeks heating as I realised what I'd said, stupid Lauren.

"I know," he replied simply, smiling slightly at me.

"You do?" I asked him, surprised he thought that highly of me. He merely nodded in response and walked into the living room, me in tow.

"Sit" he stated, motioning towards the seat on the sofa next to him. I followed orders without a second thought, the trust I once had for him still in there somewhere. "You going to tell me what's wrong?"

I looked back towards him, studying his face. I noticed he hadn't shaved today, maybe not even yesterday as I could see stubble becoming longer, covering his jaw line. I braved a look down to his clothes and realised he was only in a pair of joggers and a baggy top. Well when I say baggy, I mean his arms weren't bulging through but it was a perfect fit… Joey's version of baggy. I glanced back up at his face and his eyes seemed red, bags forming underneath them; evident he hadn't been sleeping properly. Maybe he wasn't coping as well as I thought he was? Maybe he was telling the truth, maybe he did care? His mouth formed a sort of smile when my eyes reached his properly again following my fairly obvious ogle of his body. I let a small smile escape back, finding the ability once again to communicate mentally with him.

"Are you okay?" I asked, avoiding his question. He looked into my eyes as if he was looking for the answers I needed and shrugged.

"I guess," was the reply I got, not giving much away.

"Oh,"

"Lauren, you're worrying me," he told me, his voice softer once again, his brow furrowed.

"I am?" I asked him, not sure how or why he was worried.

"You always worry me" And that was all it took for me to crack. I dropped his gaze immediately as I felt tears building up. I willed myself not to cry in front of him, needing to show him I was stronger now, that I could deal with situations without hitting the bottle. But I wasn't, not yet. I still had a long way to go. "Lauren?"

I sniffled, knowing he'd noticed I'd starting crying as I felt him shift on the sofa and put his arm around me, pulling me into him. I immediately folded into his embrace, fitting perfectly and breathing in his scent that I'd missed oh so much. I sobbed a few times, my hand scrunching his t-shirt up as it became wetter following every sob. After a few minutes of silence I sat back up, realising that was probably the stupidest move of the month; my avoiding plan going completely and utterly to pot. "Please talk to me babe,"

Choosing to ignore the use of the word babe melting my heart, I bowed my head and sniffled. "I don't know what to do Joey," I mumbled, barely a whisper. He moved his arm and placed his hand over mine, brushing ever so slightly with his thumb. "It's just me and Abi now, and I don't know how to live," I realised I wasn't making much sense as I said the words, but Joey didn't pick up on it.

"Babe, you've got people here to help. Kirsty, I know you might not like her but she does care about you. Jack wouldn't let anything bad happen to you. Abi's got Jay, and Lola, Dexter. You've got Whit and you've got me." He told me, whispering the final part. My heart jumped. How had I got him, I hadn't that was a lie.

"I haven't got you Joey," I snapped, quietly though.

"I'll always be here Lo," I felt his thumb brush across my hand once more, calming me somewhat.

"We're broke Joey." I mumbled as I shuffled away from him ever so slightly.

"It can be fixed," he whispered . I looked up, not knowing what he thought I might by my previous comment.

"I mean we have no money Joe," I told him, staring softly at him, awaiting his reaction.

"That's a bit harder to fix," he replied, smiling a little.

"I'm scared, Abi's scared too, but I can't let her down Joey. Not again," I shook my head at him, watching him as he watched me.

"You won't let her down, you won't," he insisted, squeezing my hand. I took a deep breath, needing to get my question out, knowing it was my last option.

"Joe," I began, sighing and looking into him again. "I…I.."

"Go on, whatever you need Lo," he whispered, clearly not expecting my next question.

"You're going to hate me," I told him, bowing my head in embarrassment.

"Never,"

"Derek… he, erm, left you some money… didn't he? Look you don't have to agree, I completely understand if… I mean, it's a big ask, and I know I shouldn't…" I began to sob again, knowing what a bad person I was. "We're in a lot of debt Joe,"

"How much?" he asked calmly, not moving an inch away as I expected him too. I sobbed again, knowing this was the bit that would change his opinion.

"Ten grand Joe," I whispered unable to look at him. An uncomfortable silence fell between us for what felt like a very long time. I knew I was pushing it, I was wrong to ask, but what other choice did I have? I sighed when he didn't reply, thinking myself stupid for asking in the first place. I shuffled away and began to stand up, distancing myself. "I'm sorry," I played with my hands, "I shouldn't have asked, I mean… what was I thinking?" I laughed uncomfortably to myself, not sure what I was going to do now, my final option blown. "Forget I said anything Joe, I'll just-"

"You can have it," he interrupted.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. My eyes joined his again, not sure I heard him right.

He stood up so he was facing me, "Of course you can have it Lo,"

"But…"

"No buts, if you need it, it's yours okay?" he told me. I felt his hand brush past mine again and I reached and squeezed it, entwining them together.

"Why though Joey?" I asked, unsure as to his intentions. For a moment he stood still and silent, before reaching up with his hand and stroking my cheek gently, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I automatically leant into his touch and closed my eyes, savouring the moment. I nodded, silently understanding his actions and reciprocating them mentally.

"I don't know why I didn't think before, when I spoke to Jack about it," he admitted, shaking his head.

"You spoke to Jack?" I questioned him.

He nodded and looked directly at me, "Yeah, when I gave him my wages,"

"Why did you give him your wages?"

I noticed a slight reddening of his cheeks before answering, "For you,"

"What?" I asked, oblivious to his previous help.

"I've been working extra shifts, to help you," he admitted, averting my gaze.

"Joey, no" I sighed, bowing my head; not sure if I loved him more or was offended after his pity. "I don't want your pity,"

"It's not pity." He began, "I told you, I'm worried about you"

"We're not together," I put it plainly, shrugging and averting his eyes.

"Doesn't mean I don't care babe," he whispered squeezing my hand.

"Thank you," I told him softly, brushing my thumb over his. There were no odd feelings, being with Joey like this again. Yes it was underlined with issues we didn't have last time but all the same comforting feelings had returned as soon as I stepped foot in this house. He has this power to relax me, causing me to fall straight at his feet, which I knew now, was not a good thing. At this present time anyway. He began smiling involuntarily I guess as a silence fell upon us again, this time a little more bearable.

"What?" I asked him. She shook his head and looked up at me again, "What Joey?"

"You," he replied simply, moving slightly closer.

"What about me?" I blushed slightly, unsure as to what he was getting at.

"Everything," he shrugged. "I've missed you,"

"Don't Joey," I bowed my head again, not wanting to get sucked straight back in now.

"Can't help it," he lifted my chin up with his index finger, "You've made my day"

"How? By taking all your money?" I joked slightly causing a grin from him, one of those special ones he only gives to certain people, making me fall a little more.

"No, by talking to me," he answered, my eyebrow raising. "I mean it, months ago you'd have run for the spirits, you'd never of opened up like this,"

"I guess," I shrugged trying to hide my blush.

"I'm so proud of you Lauren, it's unbelievable," he whispered, smiling.

"Thanks," I blushed again. "For everything,"

"You know I'd do anything for you," he answered, stepping slightly closer.

"Joey we can't," I moved away sighing, bowing my head.

"I know, I won't. Doesn't mean I don't want to though," he told me, causing me to blush again. "You're it Lo, it's not going to go away,"

I nodded, understanding because honestly it was the same for me. We both understood we needed time to adjust to each other, time to find what started it all to begin with before diving head first down the rabbit hole. We needed to mould again, and we would. There was no doubt about it.

"I know," I simply agreed. He pulled me into a hug and there I felt at home, safe and protected. I knew he'd never let me down, not again anyway. He'd always be there whether I wanted him too or not. Right now I was eternally grateful knowing he'd lifted a weight off my shoulders. "I should go find Abi,"

He nodded as he pulled away, staring at me for a while before stroking my cheek. Acting on an impulse I leaned forward and placed my lips on his, only for a short while before pulling away and bowing my head, blushing.

"Though you said we couldn't?" he asked, smiling slightly.

"Things change," I replied.

I smiled up at him as he kissed my forehead before letting me go. I turned around and began to head out of his house, feeling somewhat better than I did when I arrived.

"Lo?" My heart fluttered, that nickname bringing back all sorts of memories.

"Mm?" I turned to look at him in the doorway.

"You aren't on your own babe, okay?" he told me, smiling slightly. I reciprocated and smiled back, nodding in response.

"Love you," I heard him whisper behind me, not sure if I was meant to hear. I stood still on the spot, turning back again to look at him. I chuckled slightly shaking my head.

"You too, more" I whispered back, smiling up at him.

"Impossible," I heard him whisper as I walked away, knowing I wasn't meant to hear it that time.

Let me know your thoughts, always cheers me up, and honestly could do with that!

Love yaaaaaaaa! xxxxxx