Just once, I'd like a fairytale ending.

A romantic story.

A saga of love.

Anything?

I must say, I'm becoming fatigued with all of this hopeless looking. What about him? Oh no, he's too hairy. Or him? I don't think so, no sense of humor. Oh! He's very nice! No, he's too... Mortal.

And therein lays my biggest problem, limited options.

I'll admit to fantasizing about maybe a Cinderella moment. You know, when the prince comes to rescue the girl from whatever troubles her most. For Cindy, she was desperately mistreated. For me... Well I can't be normal. I'm a country.

No, honestly! I'm not mad!

Along with my brother Arthur, I am a representative of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. I have numerous older and a few younger siblings with the same status. Different countries of course! I can't imagine having to share with some of those twits... And there are always the countries that I am not related to. In any case, there are a number of us... Just not enough.

I've often heard the term, "There are other fish in the sea!" I don't really have much of a sea though. Perhaps a quaint lake. Yes, that would describe it well enough. No matter how many times I may cast my line, I'll only ever have the chance to come up with the same fish, several times over.

That's the Cinderella moment I keep looking for I suppose. I need someone to get me out of this lake and into the ocean.

Maybe I'm not enough like her though... I could always have my Bennet moment. Oh yes~ Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy, most certainly a match made in heaven!

Oh. You've not read the book. Well, I would most definitely, absolutely suggest giving it a go!

So you understand, spoiler alert, Pride and Prejudice is about Ms. Lizzie Bennet for the most part. She goes through the book hating Mr. Darcy for his pompousness and poor social skills and choice in actions! But that's only Act I! Later in the book, he makes amends for his mistakes and explains where he was perfectly righteous and they fall in love.

Oh goodness, what I wouldn't have given to be her, or even her elder sister, Jane. Though she was far too docile for me, I could never uphold that! Not even for Mr. Bingley!

But then comes the same problem, with even more horrifying potential candidates! With so few men to choose from... Well, the only one I could hate forever long as she did is... No. No I won't say it. That bloody FROG can stay out of my head. His sister is hell enough to deal with on a regular basis. Stupid, poorly mannered neighbors...

The real problem: I don't want to end up alone. I can't. It cannot happen, no! After Mummy... Ah... Left, it was hard enough. I couldn't fall in love with someone, only to watch them grow old and die while I'm left the same as I stand before you today. I can't be with a mortal. A human.

And then, there are still the male countries (and The Doctor, but no one else knows I count him). I'm so familiar with them all, how could I just jump from colleague to... Lover? If it didn't work out, can you imagine how painfully awkward that would be?

Some nations marry for economic and political benefit, often divorcing later on. I don't think that can be considered love.

Am I ever going to be allowed to find love? Like a love I can actually believe would work? Or is that against the rules?

Oh now I'm all turned around! Forget it! Forget these romantic stories and love sagas and fairytale bloody endings! I've gone long enough without and them and no git is going to mess things up no—

"Alice, come on. The meeting's finished and you have the keys."

What? Oh. I was supposed to be paying attention, right... Oops. I'm sure it was nothing new, just the American going on about an impossible global warming robot and a fighting table of nations.

"I'll be there in a moment! Let me gather my things! Go on and unlock the car, Arthur!"

What was I complaining about?

Ah well, I suppose life could be worse for Alice Kirkland. This Brit is fine just the way she is.