A/N: So, yeah, this is my first fanfiction, and since I had nothing to do while watching my dad and a bunch of his friends playing cards, I decided to write something concerning the Akatsuki ('cuz I wanted to write a Naruto fanfic after reading MSkyDragons's "The Mating Frenzy") and playing cards. This is the result.

In the story, while referring to Zetsu, there is either a (Shiro-) or a (Kuro-) in front of Zetsu: it's to indicate which side of Zetsu is talking (Shiro, or white; Kuro, or black)

EDIT: My dad and his friends started playing at around 8 p.m. Guess when they finished? 1 o'clock in the MORNING…

Prelude

At the Akatsuki's hiding place, in the middle of nowhere, in the dead of night…

"Ace!"

"Two!"

"King!"

"Haaaaan…" Deidara sighed, shaking his head with annoyance. "Tobi, you can't put a king, un; the card has to be stronger than a two, which means you have to put down a—"

"Joker."

All heads, some with dropped jaws, others with twitching eyes, turn to face the silent Uchiha.

"And he wins again~~~" Kisame said in a sing-song voice while he gathered the money his fellow teammate won into a pile- in fact, a VERY big pile of money, seeing that Kakuzu was already sitting in a corner of the room, swearing silently about never gambling again (even though it wasn't really gambling).

After shooting a sideways glance at his mourning partner, the Jashinist could hold his comments to himself no more.

"DAMMIT! ITACHI! YOU'RE #$%& CHEATIN' WITH YOUR #$%&%$# SHARINGANS!" Hidan shouted as he whipped out his scythe. "I'LL HAVE TO SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN 'CUZ I LET YOU WIN 36 –wait, or was it 37?- TIMES STRAIGHT IN THIS POKER GAME!"

"Continue to complain and I will really activate the Sharingan: it will be 72 hours straight of cutting you up in pieces then burying you alive."

"Shit."

"Why don't we play another round and see if Itachi wins again?" asked (Shiro-) Zetsu.

"We don't have anything to bet left," retorted (Kuro-) Zetsu.

"I know! We can just bet Tobi, and if we win, since Itachi and Kisame won't have anything to do with him, we'll just eat him!" exclaimed (Shiro-) Zetsu.

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"Ugh! Can't you guys be a bit quieter? I'm trying to play house with my puppets…"

Knock. Knock.

The hairs on the neck of every Akatsuki member of the room pricked up, including Kisame's scales.

"Ah fuck! It's the leader and his bitch!"

The card players all panicked and were shoving the cards, the money, the table, and the puppets away in their respective hiding place. The atmosphere was punctuated by many comments such as:

"Why don't we just blow everything up with a clay bomb?"

"My puppets won't survive the explosion, so that's a definite NO!"

During the ruckus, the money loving immortal tried to steal back some of his cash.

"Kakuzu, I saw that," the fish man declared while clearing his throat.

"Darn it," thought the "thief" as he reluctantly gave his "rescued wealth" back to the blue money-guard.

Just as the last suspicious proof about Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Tobi, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Zetsu slacking off when supposed to plan their next move on capturing Bijuu, the almighty Akatsuki leader walked in, followed by a half-awake Konan.

Pein scanned the dimly-lit room with his Rinnegans, an I-know-you-guys-have-been-slacking-off-and-not-planning-anything-about-capturing-bijuus look on his face.

Then, he let out a sigh.

"What have you guys been doing all night? You do realize that Konan can't sleep because of all the noise you guys make?"

He spared a glance at her while saying that; the blue haired kunoichi had found her a place on the couch and was already asleep.

His eyes wandered a bit, and they spotted a hastily put away playing card under one of the corners of the couch.

"Poker, is it? Or some kind of playing card game? Guess I'll join the game."

Suddenly, Hidan felt a nudge on his side. Kakuzu's whispers reached his ears:

"Don't swear in front of the boss!"

Chapter 1: The Announcement

The next day, around midday…

Most of Akatsuki's members stayed in bed 'till now, either they were too sleepy to get up, too lazy to open their eyes, or they were just having really good dreams…

"AHHHHH!"

… or in some cases, really bad nightmares that just happened to wake them up at this moment.

"Fuaaah," yawned Kisame. "Itachi-san, what are you going to use the money you won on?"

Itachi did not answer.

"What's for breakfast, un?" asked a sleepy Deidara.

"Tobi is a good boy, so Tobi woke up at six in the morning to make Deidara-sempai's breakfast, but Tobi didn't think that Deidara-sempai would wake up so late, so Tobi ate your pancakes!"

That left Deidara with a killing intent as he wrestled Tobi on the floor.

…

Everyone finished brunch (Konan made pancakes and bacon for everybody) and were about to get to their own business when…

"Eh-hem."

Every black and red coated member turned to face their boss. Something was coming at them, maybe a punishment of their behavior last night?

"I know that recently, you guys have been slacking off," said Pein in a grave voice. "That brings serious consequences. Everyone will have to help Konan with the housework…"

"Dang it!" cursed Hidan silently.

"… including myself," finished Pein.

Every person in the room (except of course the Rinnegan user) was bewildered by this unexpected announcement.

"I have to admit, last night's "poker" was pretty fun," continued the leader. "Therefore, I have a proposition: Every Friday, it will be an 'Akatsuki's Night Out', for ten weeks. There will be a different host each Friday. He or she decides what we will do that Friday night. What do you guys think of it?"

"I do suppose we need a break after the work we did…" said (Shiro-) Zetsu.

"Even though we didn't really do anything…" muttered Sasori.

"You said something, Sasori no Danna?" asked Deidara.

"Nothing," replied the puppeteer.

And so, everyone agreed to Pein's plans for ten week.

"So how are we going to choose the host?" inquired Kisame.

"I got that figured out."

Pein took out an old, dusty jar.

"Everyone's name is already written on a piece of paper and inserted in this jar. I will draw out the name of the person hosting the night every Saturday morning. He—"

Konan shot him a sideways glance.

"—or she will have more or less one week to decide on what they want to do on ANO."

"ANO?" questioned Kakuzu, raising an eyebrow.

"Slang for 'Akatsuki's Night Out', since I find it a bit too long," answered their boss.

"He just made that up…" mumbled Hidan, rolling his eyes.

"Then it's decided! Tomorrow, a Saturday, I will draw a name out of the pot."

…

Saturday, in Pein's office (if he does have one)…

Pein sat behind his desk, staring at the dirty, brown pot, about to draw a name out of it. He put his two hands on either sides of the jar and shook it carefully, using the right amount of power to mix up the slips of paper inside. Then, he took of the lid; making big grey clouds of dust dissolve into the air, and shoved his hand inside. His fingers lingered through the little pile of paper, trying to decide which one he should draw. His grasp closed on one of them, he withdrew his hand and read the name out loud.

"Akasuna no Sasori (Sasori of the Red Sand), huh…"

After, the leader thought, "Hope he doesn't make us play house with puppets."

A/N: After re-reading the 1st chapter, I find it difficult to believe that Pein actually could have said that… Anyways, please review! Visit profile for publishing info!