Beginnings
"I can not even believe you would say something like that to him." I complained to my sister as she sat down next to me on the bed, touching my shoulder. "They were not terrible. I thought they were quite good."
"Yeah, and pigs fly." She rolled her eyes and laughed when I frowned and made a growling sound. "Jees Kitty,"
"Why do you call me that?" I rolled over to face my sister, watching her through skeptical eyes. I noticed, as I had a number of times before, she was prettier, taller and thinner than I was.
Instead of straight black hair, she had been blessed with curling blonde hair. She had blue eyes while mine were a shade wedged somewhere between brown and green and were shaped like orbs instead of almonds like hers. She had the tan-receiving skin while I had the burn-receiving skin and tended to fry even if I was outside for an hour or less. My sister could be outside in the blazing sun of the Sahara butt-naked, not wearing any sunscreen, and come back a nice golden-brown.
Her lips also weren't huge like mine. Hers were perfectly proportioned while mine looked as if someone had injected collagen into them while I had been sleeping.
My mother said it worked for me. I told her to go clean her dishes.
Her eyelashes weren't abnormally long and blocked her vision like mine did. She was just over five-six while I was just below five-four. People called me Snow White while they called my sister Miss Universe. It was revolting. Boys flocked to my sister while they strayed away from me.
But try as I might, there was one boy I could not shake off my tail.
Gabriel Dean Artoff. The long, curling hair that seemed to always be framing his tan face, the beautiful eyes that were a gorgeous shade of blue-grey, the elegant Romanian accent that mesmerized even the most wary girl, the staggering height he stood at (a nice six feet five inches), and his wonderful choice of clothes; sweatshirts, jeans and Converse.
"What are you thinking about?" My sister asked, snapping me out of my thoughts of Gabriel.
"Thinking about?" I repeated, raising my eyebrows at her. "I was thinking about how much prettier you are than I am."
"Oh yeah, because that's the truth," She rolled her blue eyes at me and laughed. "Veronica, you are too uptight. C'mon, live a little." She stood up, grabbing my hand and yanking me off the bed. I flopped face-first onto the floor, groaning when my nose began to throb from the impact of my face against the hardwood floor. "Sorry,"
"Yeah, Bridge, you're real sorry. That's the fourth time this week. It's Monday." I stood up as well, brushing myself off before straightening my Black Sabbath tee and tightening the scarf around my neck. I tended to dress like the lead-singer of my favorite Finnish band, HIM.
Being twenty-five, my sister didn't understand the point of subtlety and dressed like a Spice Girl. She wasn't stupid like Sporty though, I had to give her that. She was smart like Posh and went after the rich ones that played sports and were gone all the time. They left her loads of money and she took me shopping or to concerts when HIM was playing at the Astoria in London. She stuck out like a sore thumb at the concerts we went to; even Ville Valo had noticed her at an Iron Maiden concert while standing in line, waiting to get in.
"Bridget, you need to stand still, you're being hyperactive." I said, shifting from foot to foot, trying to stay calm. "You're worse than I am."
"Oh my God, Veronica, who is that?! He's camp…" Bridget stopped bouncing and pointed to a tall figure sauntering down the sidewalk.
"I don't…oh my dearest God." My heart pounded hard in my chest, rapidly banging against my sternum. "That is Ville Hermanni Valo himself, in the flesh, Bridget!"
"Oh really? It is?" She looked closer, squinting. "Ville Valo! Hey! Over here, please!" She waved at him, unwilling to leave her place in line. No one noticed who we were yelling at, or they didn't care, because Ville just sauntered over to us, still smoking a cigarette.
"Hello there, sweethearts." He dropped the cigarette on the ground and crushed it beneath his booted foot. "I take it you're a fan?" He asked, gesturing to my Greatest Lovesongs tee. "You're very beautiful."
"Oh…thanks." I said, turning scarlet. "I'm Veronica Greene. This is my sister Bridget."
"Wonderful to meet both of you." He took my hand and kissed my fingers, causing me to nearly choke on the air I was trying to inhale. Bridget just laughed and shook his hand. "Would you like to join me in the VIP lounge where we can chat?"
"Oh yeah, for sure." Bridget popped out of line, following Ville like a lost puppy. Me on the other hand, I was reluctant to follow at first. But when Ville turned around and waved me forward, I dashed after him as well, worse than a lost puppy.
Two hours after the concert, Ville, Bridget and I all headed down to the Barfly where Ville was supposed to be playing the next day. There, we met HIM and hung out. By the time we got back to my flat at four in the morning, I was trashed beyond comparison and Bridget and Ville were having to pour me into bed. The next day, I woke up with a note taped to my forehead that read, "Veronica, I enjoyed our time together. Hope to see you today." With Ville's signature scrawled at the bottom of the note. I rolled over after tearing it from my face and frowned when my cheek came in contact with more paper. I opened one eye and nearly shrieked when I saw the pair of HIM tickets on my pillow. The only reason I didn't shriek was because I was so hung-over.
After that, Ville and I were close. Every time he came to Britain I would travel as far as Ireland or France to see him. Bridget never really liked him because of his smoking habits, but she liked his music and she fell in love with Linde.
"Veronica? Are you with me?" I hadn't noticed that Bridget had been yammering on about some nonsense she had discussed with Linde.
"No, not really. Just thinking about me and Ville." Sadly, Ville was getting married, and I had no chance of winning him. He said I was like his "female version of Jesse, the scoundrel." I didn't know if that meant he thought I was a scoundrel, or if Jesse was just a scoundrel. I had no clue.
"Stop thinking about him. We have to go buy Venus Doom."
"Why would we buy it? We already have four copies each." I asked, grabbing my jacket on the way out the door.
"I know, but we need to boost their sales, remember? We promised."
"Yeah, okay. I guess. We'll have to stop by Mum's to see if she's bought her share." I said, nibbling on my lip as I stuffed my cell phone into my jeans pocket. I remembered when we had promised the band that we would buy our share of albums. Seven each. That meant twenty-eight between the four of us. I climbed into the front seat of the Audi, laughing as Bridget smacked her forehead on the door frame as she slid into the driver's seat. "Let's go to Paris to buy this batch. We can take Mum with us."
"Yeah, that will boost their sales in France as well! You're a genius, Ronnie."
"I know. It's what makes all the guys come flocking to me." I heard Bridget's phone sound off from inside her Prada purse and she giggled. "It's Linde, isn't it?"
Ville's Point of View
"Are they leaving yet?" I asked Linde as he chatted with his girlfriend in a quiet voice.
"Shut it, Ville." Linde snapped at me, trying not to lose it on the phone with Bridget.
"Shut it, Ville." I mimicked, taking a drag on my cigarette as I rolled my eyes. "God,"
"Yes, they've left." Linde said as he slapped his phone shut, smiling. "Let's do this."
My Point of View
"Where are we going now?" I asked Bridget as she drove down the alleyway behind our mother's house. "Why don't we park on the street?"
"Because, Mum might see us there." She rolled her eyes as if this was obvious and I shouldn't've asked. "Jees, Ronnie, keep up."
"Sorry, Bridge." I climbed from the Audi and snuck up the walk after my baby sister, watching as she acted like the female James Bond, gun held high, ready for attack. "What are you doing?"
"Shh! You'll ruin it! Let me have my kicks!" She put a finger to her lips, trying not to laugh as our mother's next door neighbor peeked out of the crack in her door. "Good morning Mrs. Jameson, how is your daughter?"
"Dead." She spit before shutting the door curtly in Bridget's face.
"Well, isn't that a daisy." I murmured, following Bridget up the stairs to our mother's back door. We let ourselves in and quietly tiptoed into her bedroom where she was still fast asleep, her baby English Cocker Spaniel, Paddington, nestled in at the foot of the bed. I picked him up slowly, cuddling him against my chest. "Shh, Paddington. It's okay…shhh…" I whispered as Bridget prepared to wake my mother with her favorite song from Venus Doom, 'Love in Cold Blood.'
"Oh Mummy…" Bridget whispered, motioning me out of the room. "Wakey, wakey." We stepped into the hallway, Mum still snoring, and when the door was closed, Bridget pressed the button on the remote, sending the stereo blaring.
All I heard was a screech over the sound of the rapid guitar and pounding drums, followed by my mother's body hitting the floor next to her bed. She slapped the sound off and came storming out of her bedroom, hair wild.
"Good morning, Mummy." Bridget said with a wide smile. "You look fantastic."
No Happy Birthday for Veronica
Ville's Point of View
"Are you sure they've gone? Bridget's car is still here…" I heard Mige ask Linde as we pulled up in front of Veronica and Bridget's shared flat.
"They went together. Bridget knows what's going on. She knows that this is for Ronnie's birthday. She wouldn't spoil it and stay here…" I mumbled, stepping from the car slowly, looking around carefully and quickly. "Let's go. We don't have much time!" I waved the band out of the rented Range Rover, telling them to hurry as we marched across the road, bags in hand as we unlocked the front door and crowded into the small kitchen. I took the bag of food from Mige, set it on the counter and opened the door to the icebox.
"Linde and I will set up the decorations," Burton said, grabbing the streamers from the paper bag along with the balloons and the banner we had made on the bus the day before. "You and Mige can do the cooking; Mige can do the cake decorating, I mean."
"That's right Mige can do the cake decorating." Mige said, tugging the cake from the icebox and setting it on the counter to begin the decorating. He whipped out the decorating icing and the candles, laughing when Burton screeched from the living room as a balloon exploded. I laughed as well, trying not to make it obvious as I began the preparations for Ronnie's birthday dinner, fettuccine alfredo with chicken, cheese and broccoli. I took a sip of my coffee and set to work.
My Point of View
"Mum, just get ready, will you? We've got to go to Paris to buy the album. We've not got time for lollygagging." I said as I scratched between Paddington's soft ears, pleasing him greatly.
"Paris Kills, sweetheart." My mother said, laughing from inside her closet as she searched for an outfit. "How about this jumper? No, I didn't think so…"
"Mum, wear a tee. How about your Paige and Plant tee? That looks smashing…" I watched as Bridget pulled it from the closet and tossed it at our mother, followed by a pair of jeans and a pair of socks. "There. Fantastic…what do you think Veronica?"
"Absolutely perfect. You look ravishing, Mum." I smiled, waiting for the words I hadn't heard all day.
"Thank you, darling. I try…" The doorbell rang, sending Paddington into a fit of hyperactive barking. "Oh, that's probably your sister. Will you get that Veronica?"
"Yeah, Mum, sure…" I stood up, clutching Paddington to my side as I left the room, trying to keep him from wriggling free. My younger sister Lorelei was prettiest of the three of us. With gorgeous honey-brown hair that flowed to her shoulders in glorious waves, and whisky-brown eyes framed with thick, inky-black lashes, she was the one who had people running after her the most. Bridget got the boys, Lorelei got the men. She'd had the same boyfriend for three years, even though they lived in separate countries. Her living in Britain, him living in Germany for his stint in university. Lorelei and Nicolas were made for each other, everyone could see that. Even I could see it, and I was blind to things such as that.
"Lorelei, hello there, beautiful." I leaned out the door and kissed her cheek, laughing when Paddington melted into a spasm of wiggles and whines instead of barks.
"Is Mum ready yet?" She asked as she stepped into the house, dropping her oversized purse on the couch before following me to the back room where Mum was now doing her make-up.
"Obviously not." I said, plopping down on my mother's down comforter covered bed, allowing Paddington race to the edge of the mattress to make an attempt at licking Lorelei. He jumped up, nearly tumbling off the bed. Lorelei caught him and hugged him against her chest, smiling when he lathered her face with puppy kisses.
"Oh Lor! You're here!" My mother called from the bathroom when she heard Lorelei laugh. "I've left a batch of biscuits on the counter for the three of you, but I didn't want them all to be gone before you got here. You know your sisters…" Lorelei, Bridget and I all stared at each other for a moment before making a mad dash for the kitchen, knocking one another out of the way.
"No, Bridget! Me first! I'm oldest, I get first dibs!" I shouted, tugging on the waistband of my sister's jeans, pulling her backwards.
"That's unfair! You always play the I'm-the-oldest card. Back off! I'm the youngest, I get first dibs!" Bridget squealed, pulling ahead of Lorelei and me. By this time, we were in the doorway of the kitchen, all fighting to get through at once.
"I got it!" I pushed through the door frame, shoving them out of the way. I grabbed at the platter of chocolate chip cookies, three in my hand as Lorelei knocked me to the ground, next into the kitchen. "I got the first biscuits! Hah! In your face, Bridget! Take that to your grave!"
"Shove it." She said, cookie spraying from her mouth. "Mum! You got any milk in this joint?"
"Yes, in the icebox!" I heard my mother's voice from her bedroom from my spot on the tile floor.
"Crazy good, get me a glass." I said, leaning on my elbow as I nibbled the moist cookie to pieces.
"Get it yourself," Lorelei and Bridget said at the same time.
Let me take just a minute to explain how the age system works in our house. I am the oldest at twenty-seven, Lorelei is the middle child, being ten months younger than me, and Bridget is the youngest at twenty-five. We've all been very close, ever since our father left us and Mum when Lor and I were three. We very rarely talk to our dad, and when we do, it's because he calls us, in need of money or a place to stay. Being the "terrible daughters" that we are, we always turn him down. Mum is proud of us nonetheless.
"I don't want to get it myself, and beings as the two of you are pouring yourselves a hearty glass, why not share the wealth?" I asked through a mouthful of cookie, jolting when Padding snuck up on me from behind. "Jees, Pad."
"Look, he fancies your biscuit." Bridget said, laughing at my misfortune.
"Yeah, shut it. No one needs your two-cents." I rolled my eyes and let Paddington have the remainder of my cookie.
"It's not a matter of needing it, everyone wants it." Bridget smiled widely and polished off her cookie. "Let's go Mum! We have to buy the albums!"
"All right, all right! I'm coming!" My mother stepped out of her bedroom, long hair and bangs straightened to hang around her face and drape over her shoulders. Surprisingly, the four of us often passed for sisters. My mother looked that young. No one understood why my father had left her for his Cajun secretary. That relationship didn't last too long when his mistress realized that he had left his family for her. She didn't want to be a home-wrecker. Too late for that Angelica.
"All right, let's hit the road." I said, standing up and taking Paddington with me. "I haven't got time for this, I have plans."
"No, you don't! Remember, you promised that you would help me clean the flat tonight!" Bridget squealed, tossing a pebble from the bird fountain at me.
"Those are my plans, dufus." I said as I rolled my eyes and climbed into the front seat of the Audi for the second time that day, Paddington on my lap. My mother slid into the driver's seat and Bridget and Lorelei remained in the back, arguing about who was to drive on the next trip, me or Lorelei.
Lorelei lost.
"I don't want to drive!" She whined, her bottom lip sticking out in a faux pout.
"We used my car this time, I don't care if Mum is driving, we used my car!" I retorted, turning up the current song, 'Sleepwalking Past Hope,' my current favorite song from Venus Doom.
"That's not fair, Ronnie! You know it's not fair!"
"If I knew it wasn't fair, I wouldn't be saying it. It is fair, Lorelei. Get over yourself." I scratched Paddington between the ears and sang along with Ville. "In our hearts, love keeps sweet-talking to despair and goes on, sleepwalking past hope…all is lost in this war, all we can do is to wail and weep to the saddest song…"
"Sleepwalking past hope," My mother finished smiling at me.
"Yeah baby!"
Four hours later…
"Mum! I am sick of this bullocks, just let me out of the car," I whined, trying to open the door as my sisters climbed out. "Muuum…"
"Your brother is going to pick you up tomorrow so you can spend the day with me. Okay? You obviously need some Mum-time." She said, backing out of the driveway.
"Mum, what are you doing? Lorelei and Bridget—"
"Don't worry about them. Where I'm taking you, you're going to love."
A Surprise for Veronica
"Darling, just calm down. Close your eyes, and calm down." My mother said, as she pulled into a parking spot somewhere.
"My eyes have been closed for the past twenty-two minutes." I complained with my arms folded over my chest. "C'mon, where are we going?"
"We're there, but you can't take your blindfold off."
"You mean I can't open my eyes." I corrected, smiling to myself.
"Yeah, yeah." I heard the door open followed by my mother climbing out of the car and shutting the door. A moment later, my door opened and she reached in and took my arm, helping me from the passenger seat. "Just let me lead you, savvy?"
"All right, all right." If my eyes had been open, I would have rolled them. "Where are we?"
"You're where you're supposed to be." Someone besides my mother was next to me and I struggled against the urge to open my eyes.
"Lorelei?" I asked in a whisper.
"Yeah," she chuckled, taking my right arm as my mother tightened her grip on my left.
"Where are we?"
"We are where you're supposed to be." She said, and realization hit.
"We're at my flat? What's this whole deal about? I told Bridge I'd help her clean, I was serious!"
"She didn't believe you so we're here to make sure you do help." My mother said with a smile in her voice.
"God, then let me open my eyes," I began to open them but my sister clapped a hand over my eyes before I could see anything.
"No!" They both shouted together. "Don't open your eyes, you oaf!" This from Lorelei. I heard the door of the flat open and we stepped inside, my heart pounding.
"Ohkay, ohkay!" I said, putting my hands up in mock surrender. "Jesus…" I was about to lower them when someone took them in their own hands. I jolted and took a sharp breath. "Bridget?" The person smothered a laugh and my heart stuttered. It wasn't Bridget. The door shut with a bang and I jumped, close to opening my eyes. "Can I open my eyes? I'm getting freaked out,"
"Let her open them," That was Bridget. The hand covering my eyes was removed and when I gathered the courage to open my eyes, I nearly died at the sight.
"Ville!" I threw my arms around his neck, ecstatic to see him. "Crazy good!" I kissed him smack on the mouth and laughed. "Oh my, I've been aching to see you! Thank God you showed up; I don't have the money to fly to Finland." I gripped his shoulders as he grinned at me.
"Happy birthday, love." He kissed me in return and though it was short, it was the best kiss of my life. I touched the ends of his dark brown hair, smiling widely at him, too touched to speak. He had remembered. Tears rushed into my eyes and he stopped smiling. "What's wrong, Veronica?"
"You remembered" was all I said before burying my face against his shoulder.
"Ronnie, are you okay?" Bridget asked, touching my back. Ville waved her off and picked me up, holding me in his arms as he carried me to the front room where I was met with another surprise.
"Mige! Linsi! Burton! Gas!" I wriggled free of Ville's grasp, still crying and dashed to hug them all. Gas the hardest and longest. "You guys came as well. I should've known." I dashed the tears away from my eyes and took a deep breath, looking around the room. There were streamers, balloons and a large banner that read 'Happy Birthday Veronica' with heartagrams and little drawings surrounding the words. The A's were heartagrams as well as the O. I grinned and looked back to Ville who was now standing at my shoulder. "Thanks you guys."
"We made you a cake and Ville made you dinner. Just for you two." Linde said, smiling. One thing I had noticed was that when Bridget was around, you couldn't get Linde to shut up.
"Mmm, a shag afterwards, then?" I joked, nudging Ville in the ribs. Everyone except Ville laughed. "I was only playing."
"I know," Ville said, attempting a smile. Just then, I knew something was up but decided to leave it be until we were alone. I squeezed his hand, smiling at him.
"What did you get me for my birthday?" I asked the room at large, trying to lighten the suddenly morbid mood.
"Well Mige and I got you a puppy," Burton said, shrugging. "He's in your room," I was gone before he had finished. When I wrenched the door open, I was barely breathing. And for good reason.
At the foot of my bed, a small Black Labrador puppy was snoring, curled into a ball. I rushed to the bed, picking the puppy up gently. His eyes opened and he showed me a gorgeous pair of blue orbs, followed by a loud yawn. He woke up and began licking my chin, making me laugh.
"He won't get any bigger. It's a new breed, they stay puppies. Very expensive." Burton said from the doorway. I turned and grinned at him.
"He's gorgeous!" I snuggled the whining puppy closer to me and tried to keep the tears at bay. "I'm going to name him…Oh I don't know. Probably Hermanni. He looks like a Hermanni, doesn't he?" I asked Ville as I returned to the front room.
"Nah, he looks like a Boris to me. Or a Karloff." Mige said sitting on the couch with his legs propped on the coffee table.
"Ew no. If I was going to name him after a movie star, it'd be Lugosi." I grinned, wiggling my eyebrows as Mige shook with laughter. "Maybe he'd suck my blood while I slept."
"You could only hope," Ville muttered, snorting from behind his hand.
"Oh shut it. When are we going to eat the cake?" I asked, rubbing the soft fur of Hermanni's head with my fingertips.
"How about now?" Gas suggested, heading for the kitchen, beating us all there by a mile.
Three hours later…
"All right, we'll see you later Ronnie. We love you and happy birthday." Bridget said, kissing my cheek before stepping back and taking another bite of birthday cake.
"Thanks Bridge, for the watch." I held my right arm up and showed her the purple heartagram watch she had bought me. "It looks ace."
"You're welcome; I knew you'd like it." She took a gulp of Guinness and smiled at me over the rim of the glass. "We've got to go, but we'll see you tomorrow." She took Linde's hand and the two of them left, chatting while they did so. Gas and Mige had already left, Burton was leaving right behind Linde and Bridget, so all that was left was my mother and Lorelei.
"We've got to be getting on as well, my love." My mother bent and kissed my forehead as I shoveled more cake into my mouth.
"Fanks for coming, Mummy." I said, spraying crumbs with a laugh. "Sowwy." I grinned at her and she rolled her eyes with a smile.
"Always the mild-mannered one." Lorelei said, licking the frosting off my thumb. "Dean's going to be here tomorrow, don't forget." She kissed my cheek as well and with that and a wave to Ville, they left.
"So, here we are…alone. In my house." I scratched Hermanni's upturned tummy and he kicked his back leg in appreciation. "And I want to know what is wrong."
"Wrong?" Ville repeated, a picture of innocence.
"Yes, Ville, wrong. What is wrong?" I asked, touching his cheek. "Sweetheart, I saw it in your eyes. What's going on in your head right now?"
"I'm just thinking about how happy I am. Being here with you on your birthday…how old are you now? Twelve?" He joked, grinning at me.
"No, thirteen. You missed my twelfth." I took another bite of cake and chewed as Hermanni nestled himself against my leg, sighing in happiness when he finally found the perfect spot. "My baby," I looked back to Ville, smiling as he brushed a bit of cake from my lower lip with his thumb. "Sing to me,"
"Sing to you?" He repeated, looking taken aback. "Me, sing to you?"
"Yeah, for my birthday. I am thirteen you know." I grinned as he threw back his head in laughter. "C'mon. Sing to me, maybe 'Bleed Well,' or 'Venus (In Our Blood)' or something good…maybe a little 'Circle of Fear' up in this joint." I shrugged, up for anything. "Something you like, something you love. Sing what you want. But sing to me, please, Ville…" He opened his mouth to say something and I opened mine to stop him from speaking. We were both cut off by his cell phone ringing loudly from his pocket.
"Damn, that's her." I pursed my lips as he said this, yanking his cell phone from his pocket as he stood up. "Hold on, don't move." I nodded and he left the room, answering his phone as he left the flat to take his call. I tossed the paper plate onto the glass coffee table in front of me, anger spurting up inside my chest.
How dare she, interrupt my private birthday celebration that she was definitely not invited to for a very good reason. I stood up, beginning to pace as I chewed her out in my head.
"Stupid hag, can't even leave him alone for fifteen minutes." I rolled my eyes, making an exasperated sound in my throat. I threw my hands in the air, kicking the couch as I did so. Hermanni yelped and dashed off the couch, scampering towards my room. "Yeah, go hide from my wrath. At least you're smart!"
I headed to the kitchen, still peeved, and grabbed the bottle of imported Koskenkorva from the back of the icebox, and poured myself a screwdriver. After finishing the first, I poured myself another. After that, I put the vodka back in the icebox and started back to the living room. I was still in the middle of my mad when I saw Ville coming back from his phone call. Suddenly, I lost all my anger. I knew he was about to leave, and I couldn't take it. I couldn't be mad at him.
"Ronnie, I know it's your birthday and all—"
"No, no. Go ahead. It's probably more important than eating dinner with me. Seriously, get out of here. I'm probably just going to crash. Linde and Bridge can eat the supper you made." I waved him off, shuffling towards my room. Not wanting him to see me cry.
"Veronica," He tried to follow me, but I turned suddenly, startling him.
"Get out of here. Before she ruins everything else." I said, tears brimming in my eyes. "Just get out of here,"
"Veronica, wait." I turned and continued shuffling, tears actually falling down my face. "Ronnie,"
"Get out of here!" I shouted, throwing my arms up as I slammed the door to my bedroom, utterly exhausted from the pain. I kicked the door as I screamed, tears pouring from my eyes. I heard Ville say my name again and I ignored him. "Get the eff out of my house, you wanker! Just get out!"
"Veronica, listen, please…I'm sorry I have to leave, I need to go." He finished lamely. "Ronnie, please. I'm so sorry,"
"What about me?! What about when I need you? I love you, Ville! And you don't care! Just get out of here, okay? Go, get out of here." I slid down the door, drained of all energy. "Just go away,"
"Veronica, I love you, too."
"Not like I love you, Ville. But it's okay. I understand. She's who she is, and I'm just your female version of Jesse. I get it. Now go." I wiped the tears from my cheeks even though they were still falling.
"Veronica," I heard his head hit the door and I took a shuddering breath.
"What?" I snapped, pulling Hermanni into my lap as he crawled from under my bed, whining. I hugged him to me as he licked my face. "At least you love me, Hermanni."
"Ronnie, please, just listen to me,"
"I'm listening, Ville. I'm not going anywhere. You've got me cornered." I said, taking another deep breath.
"Please, come out here."
"Oh no. Not going to happen. If that's all you wanted, you can leave now." I stood up, holding Hermanni to my chest, and walked to my bed, flopping down face-first on the pillow-top mattress.
"Veronica," Ville said again, as Hermanni wiggled out from underneath me and began licking my face again. "Veronica please." Ville tried to turn the doorknob and realized it wasn't locked. He opened the door and stood in the doorway, watching me. "Veronica."
"What do you want, Ville?" I rolled over, startling Hermanni with the sudden movement. He yelped and buried himself under my mound of pillows, peeking from underneath the neon purple pillowcase, whimpering.
"I want you to understand that I'm not leaving because I want to, but because I have to."
"You came all the way from Finland for my birthday and decided to leave just when the party was getting started. Doesn't she understand that I want you just for a little while? Just a little bit? Is that too much to ask for my birthday? I only turn twenty-seven once, babe. And thank God for that." I crossed myself and rolled off my bed, heading into the bathroom, trying to get away from Ville. I underestimated how close he was to me and he grabbed my arm before I could sneak past him.
"Stop it. Just stop," He pulled me to him in a hug and I struggled against it, trying not to give in to my only weakness.
"Get off me, oaf! You're ruining my mad!" I shouted into his chest as he hugged me, trying to calm me down. "Get off!"
"I have to go, because if I can't go, then I can't get rid of her." This stopped my struggling. "She's mad because I'm here with you. I can't stand the fact that she's trying to govern who I'm with. I love you, and she's keeping me from you. She's got to go."
A Little Snog
"She's got to go?" I repeated dumbly, staring at him with mouth gaping wide.
"That's right, she's got to go." He said, kissing my forehead as he smoothed the hair out of my face. "Stay here, I'll be back in less than an hour, I promise." He kissed my forehead again and left the room, grabbing his jacket on the way out of the apartment.
All of the sudden, my energy was back and I was dancing as I turned on my stereo, inserting Venus Doom and turning to "Dead Lovers' Lane," humming along with the introduction.
"Despair has a face, and all these wounds remain unhealed…blessed to kill and enslaved are all hearts around love's will, thrilled to start all over again. Crawl down Dead Lovers' Lane, the maze of memories stained, and suck the blood right out of my heart!" I sang, grabbing Hermanni off the couch as the second verse started. "Fear has a name, written on unhallowed ground with dead leaves, those words never fail to feed the hunger that dreams our hunger beyond God's grasp. Crawl down Dead Lovers' Lane, the maze of memories stained, and suck the blood right out of my heart, scream out love's name in vain, erase the pain again, and lose yourself alone in the dark, on Dead Lovers' Lane," I spun Hermanni around, utterly happy and nearly screamed my lungs out when I saw Gabriel standing in my doorway. I flicked the volume down quickly, dropping Hermanni onto the couch as I took a few deep breaths.
"Gabriel, hi." I breathed, barely able to put a coherent thought together.
"Hello Veronica." He said, stepping into the flat. "Your door was open, but I knocked first. You didn't answer, but I heard you singing so I thought I'd come in and say happy birthday and give your gift to you." He held out a large purple bag to me and I took it after a moment's hesitation. "Go ahead, open it. Unless you're afraid that it's going to bite you." I heard a mewing sound from inside the bag and my brow furrowed. Was there something about me that just asked people to buy me animals for my birthday?
I opened the bag, expecting to see a kitten with a bow wrapped around its neck, staring at me with wide eyes and a scared expression. What I found was not one, but two kittens staring up at me with bewildered expressions and wide eyes, purple and black ribbons wrapped around their tiny necks. One was pure white, the other black as pitch. The black one had the purple ribbon and the white had the black ribbon.
"Well, do you like them?" Gabriel asked, obviously nervous at my silence.
"I, I, I love them, Gabriel. They are gorgeous. Why did you get me two?" I set the bag on the couch next to Hermanni who immediately tried to climb into it to investigate. "No Hermanni, bad dog." I tapped his nose and he made a huffing sound before plopping his butt down to watch, sending me a puppy glare. "Here, look at this one." I picked the black one out of the bag and set it in front of Hermanni who stood up to sniff and lick every inch of the kitten he could reach.
"Did you get him from your mother?" Gabriel asked, gesturing to Hermanni.
"No, Burton and Mige bought him for me. Isn't he adorable?" I ruffled Hermanni's fur and he tried to lick my hand, kitten nearly forgotten. I pulled the white kitten from the bag and set it on the couch as well, laughing when Hermanni did a double take. "He reminds me of Ville." I sighed then, oblivious to the fact that Gabriel was making a disgusted face behind my back as I plucked Hermanni off the couch and set him on the ground. The kittens then followed him around the living room, content. "Again, why did you get me two kittens?"
"Oh I don't know, they were both so tiny and I thought you would like them. I didn't know you had gotten a dog from your friends or I wouldn't've gotten them for you." Gabriel shrugged, his leather jacket creaking as he did. "What's that smell?" He asked, heading to the kitchen.
"I don't know, Ville made dinner for the two of us, but he had to go somewhere real quick and he'll be back soon." I said, leaning against the counter in the kitchen. I was half-trashed and didn't realize when Gabriel was making a move on me.
"Did you cut your hair, Veronica?" He asked, moving in to touch the tips of my hair with his fingers, his breath fluttering over my lips.
"No, does it look like it?" I looked down at the ends of my hair, noticing a few split ends. "Oh look, splitties." I laughed, looking up at Gabriel again. He was smiling and when his hand moved to cup the back of my neck, I just continued grinning like a fool. His lips were about to touch mine when the kitchen door burst open and Ville strode in, making Gabriel jump. "Ville! Hello darling," I leapt forward, trying to wrap my arms around Ville. I missed by a good four inches and ended up nearly facedown on the tile floor.
"Who are you?" Ville asked, lifting me into his arms where I snuggled against his shoulder, happy as a clam.
"Me?" Gabriel asked, looking around the kitchen. "I'm Gabriel Artoff, Veronica's boyfriend,"
"Is that true?" Ville asked, looking to me. Without opening my eyes, I shrugged.
"He wants to be," I pressed my lips together, shrugged again then swung my head towards Gabriel. "He tried to kiss me, and he gave me two kittens."
"That's nice, Veronica." Ville said, smiling as he carted me to my room. "Say goodbye to Gabriel now, darling."
"Bye-bye Gabriel!" I waved over my shoulder, grinning at Ville. "He's nice, isn't he?" I grabbed Ville's shirt front as he laid me on my bed. "Will you give me a real kiss, please? It's always just a peck with you, I want snog. That's what I want, Ville. It's my birthday." I stopped smiling and stared into Ville's eyes
"A snog?" He repeated, trying to keep the smile hidden. He failed miserably.
"That is what I said, is it not?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "C'mon, just a little one, Ville. A little snog, please…" I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout and made my eyes water. "Pwease?"
Ville's Point of View
"C'mon Ville, just a bit of a snog," Veronica said, eyes wide and watering as her bottom lip poked out in a pout, making her nearly irresistible. "Just a little one?"
"Veronica, you're half-gone, I couldn't—" I was cut off by her lips pressing to mine gently. I stared wide-eyed as she stared back, questioning. "Veronica," I couldn't resist her, I never could. I closed my eyes, pulled her closer to me and pressed my body to hers as she sighed in appreciation. "Just calm down, please." I pulled away reluctantly and brushed the hair out of her eyes, smiling down at her. "I do love you, Veronica."
"Oh I know." She laughed lightly, eyes misty. "I love you, too." She sighed again, pulling me against her. "Just lay with me, okay? Sing me a song to remind me where I belong, in your arms, my Love in Cold Blood." She laughed as I grinned, very happy to be where I was. "I've waited a long time for this, Ville."
"For what, Veronica?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her as I laid my head on her pillow, facing her with my lips pressed to her forehead.
"To be with you, like this, without you worrying about what she would think." She closed her eyes and laid her head against my shoulder, nestling herself against me. "I'm happy you're here with me, Ville." I realized then that, though I hadn't known it before, I had been falling in love with Veronica ever since the first time I met her in London at the Iron Maiden concert. Everything about her I loved, from the way she laughed to the way she grinned when she was drunk. I sighed as I realized that I was entirely ready to make the fall with Veronica and no one else. "Ville?"
"Hmm?" I mumbled, still deep in thought.
"Do you still love her? Somewhere in your heart, is there still a place for her?" Veronica asked, trailing her fingers over the muscles of my left arm, making me shiver.
"Uhm…yes and no." I said after a moment, trying to keep myself centered. "I'm glad we're not together anymore because that means I can be with you, but I'm sad we're not together because I dedicated over three years of my life to her." I shrugged, pressing my lips to Veronica's forehead again. "But you and me, we're together now and that's all that matters, right?"
"Correct, sir." She laughed, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. "Let's get some shut eye, I need to sleep off this Koskenkorva."
Love, Just Like You
Six hours later, when I finally woke Veronica, it was four o'clock in the morning and I was raring to go.
"Ville, what are you doing in my bed?" Veronica asked, obviously still trashed.
"Keeping you company, darling." I smiled, reaching over her to flick on the bedside lamp. She hissed and buried her face against my shoulder, mumbling something about light being the spawn of Satan. "Here, let's take some aspirin for that headache of yours, shall we?"
"Mother of God, yes." She latched her arms around my neck and never lifted her face from my shoulder, trying to keep the light away from her eyes. "You smell good, Ville."
"It's all for you, Ronnie." I set her in the porcelain bathtub, laughing as she pulled the shower curtain down and over her face. "Aren't we just Little Miss Sunshine?"
"Shut it," She mumbled, flipping me off. "My eyes are burning and bleeding at the same time. Can't you see the blood?" She let the shower curtain fall from her face and I sighed when she looked at me with her red-rimmed eyes. "It hurts, Ville." She whimpered as she lifted her arms to me and I pulled her from the bathtub like one would a child, supporting her knees with my opposite arm as she wrapped her arms around my neck again.
"Sweet, sweet Veronica." I kissed her forehead as I put her back into her bed and tucked the covers around her slipping under them as she reached for me. "Take this and may you feel better," I pulled her back against me as I gave her the aspirin, letting her gulp it down with the water I handed her afterward. "Mm, you smell good, Veronica." She smelled of sensuality and strawberries.
"The cream Lor gave me, it's called 'Sensual Amber,'" She sighed and twined her fingers with mine. "Do you love it, or like it?"
"Love," I kissed the back of her neck and she sighed again, falling back into sleep. "Just like you,"
"You love me?" She asked, rolling over to face me. "Really and truly love me? Not as a sister, but…for real, as in nearly commitment love?" She had tears in her eyes and I tried not to think about the long hours I had sat up at night, daydreaming about her or writing a song about her. A song that never made it to the recording studio.
"Yes, nearly commitment love." She grinned as I said this and the first tear fell as she pressed her lips hard to mine. "I've loved you for awhile now, V."
"I've loved you for longer," She said before rolling me onto my back, pinning me to the bed. "I'm not really that tired anymore. Let's go somewhere, just you and me. Anywhere, I don't care where, as long as we go together." She leapt out of bed, suddenly yammering on. "We could go to the pub so I can show you off to Bradley, we can go to the cinema, we can go wherever you want, anywhere." She grabbed a sweatshirt out of her closet, yanking it on over her straight black hair as I watched from my place on the bed. The woman was putting more clothes on when all I wanted to do was peel her out of them. She wiggled out of her skintight jeans and turned around, giving me a wonderful view of the neon purple boy-shorts that barely covered the necessary areas of her backside. Veronica continued to talk as I stared wide eyed, watching her root through her closet for a decent pair of pants. "And then, maybe we can go out to dinner, since we never got around to eating the one you made and—"
"Veronica, do you realize what time it is?" I asked, tossing a pillow at her as she turned around.
"It's about five now, isn't it?" She glanced at her new watch and nodded. "Five-oh-four; we can have breakfast."
"You're wonderful," I said, sliding off the bed and walking to her. I wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my face in her hair as she stood on her tip-toes to wrap her arms around my neck. "I'm glad I can touch you now,"
"You have no idea, babe."
My Point of View
As Ville and I stood motionless in front of my closet, I realized that my life was now officially perfect. I lifted my face and pressed my lips against his jaw line, nipping gently. His arms tightened around me and I froze, unsure of what to do next.
"Let's go out." Ville whispered, pushing the hair out of my face. "Just you and me."
"You and me." I repeated, ecstatic.
"Just us," He took my hand, led me into the closet where he grabbed a pair of pinstriped slacks and handed them to me, watching me as I slipped them on.
"Just us," I said, smiling.
"Give me a kiss, Veronica." He leaned down, pressed his lips gently to mine and smiled. "There you go,"
"Mmm. I need supplement. I need food." I stepped back from Ville, not wanting to get too carried away with myself as I usually did.
"Then let's go to the pub, they have good food, don't they?"
"Sure, let's go there." I took his hand and led him from the room, grabbing my all-black slip-on Vans as I did. After sliding my feet into my shoes, Ville helped me into my jacket, laughing when I caught my ring on the frayed sleeve. I elbowed him playfully in the ribs and grinned at him. "Ready?"
"Absolutely."
"…and there I was, standing in the middle of the churchyard, covered in mud, laughing so hard my stomach hurt!" I finished, taking a drink of the coffee that had been placed in front of me. "Can you believe it? Four hours after they started looking for me, I showed up where I was supposed to be."
"Sounds like something you would do, Veronica." Ville grinned, shoving a few chips into his mouth as he did.
"Oh yeah, that's the reason why I did it. Though you'd think they'd expect some stunt like that from me…" I shrugged and took a bite of the haggis that was sitting in front of me. "Anyhow, what about you? Have any funny stories I wasn't a part of?"
"Well, there was this one time, while we were recording Razorblade, in Wales," He took a sip of his own coffee. "The whole time, we were practically naked, all the time." He grinned as I raised my eyebrows, picturing Ville and Linde naked. Trying to block out Mige, Gas and Zoltan. "Well, Zoltan was really reluctant to run around naked because it just wasn't his forte…" Ville stabbed a chip with his fork, flinging it at our waiter as she stalked by. She laughed and threw it back at him. "After we finally got him to bounce around in the buff, he wouldn't put his clothes back on, and one night, while he was running around outside the recording studio, a little girl must've seen him from her window or something, because there was a scream followed by someone screaming for their mumma." I laughed, trying to keep a straight face.
"Go on," I encouraged, into the story.
"No, you really don't want to know what happened…" Ville said, stirring his coffee slowly, drawing out the moment.
"Sure I do—" I was cut off by someone saying my name loudly from behind me. I turned around, expecting to see one of the regulars heading into the pub. Instead, I saw my older brother Geoffrey bending to avoid hitting his head on the doorframe. "Geoff!" I jumped up, ecstatic to see my brother. "Oh my goodness! I haven't seen you in months!"
"It's only been three weeks, Veronica." He bent his head to plant a kiss on my lips, grinning when I stretched up to wrap my arms around his neck. "Oh I did miss you, darling."