Jealousy
By: Chewburt Grumplebuck August 13th, 2015
SCENE 1: McDonald's Restaurant
The Goldblum was not a patient man. The upbringing in his royal Egyptian household taught him that sooner was always better than later. Glancing around the room, annoyed, the Goldblum produced a silver and gold telephone from the folds of his smoking velvet jacket. He quickly dialed a number and pressed the receiving end to one of his golden tan ears.
"Uh, hi, uh, yes, this is uh, Jeff Goldblum calling for, uh, Mr. Jong-Un? We had arrangements for the night but he doesn't seem to be..." He trailed off as he sensed a presence that he knew to all too well. He closed his eyes in a tired and exhausted way, and, without turning his head, began to speak. "So uh, what part of 'Leave me alone' did you not, uh, understand?" He turned. There, standing in his Imperial apple red shoes, was Sanic the Hedgehog.
"I thought I may have run into you here!" Sanic exclaimed to the entire dining room. Without so much as flinching, the Goldblum replied, "I've found someone who actually cares for me now, not just using me as a piece of raw MEAT!"
He bellowed the last word in a fit of rage and desperation. However, by the time he spoke again, he was already unbuttoning his shirt. "You're, uh, about to learn what happens to filthy rodents who do wrong on me." Slowly, gently, he removed his shirt, exposing his hard cut muscles and perfect tan. Not bad for someone of the ripe old age of 93.
"OH YEAH?!" Cried Sanic. But he too was removing what little garments he had on, and his shoes lay on the ground.
Almost as if acting on the same conscience, the two creatures flung themselves 5 feet into the air towards one another, and out burst forth brilliant rays of golden light, shimmering like jello in the air as they remained floating 5 feet above the ground. As the light slowly subsided, it was revealed that the Goldblum's 15 inch member was wavering just in front of Sanic's hedge hole, all the while the Goldblum was grasping his electric blue hair from behind to keep him tethered.
"UGGGH…" Cried out Sanic in apparent frustration in anger. However, his blue bell bottom was inching towards Goldblum's now filled salami stick, and in a final thrust, he let go of his pain and anger, and let the Goldblum schnitzel fill him all the way to his pancreas.
"FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF SOUND!" Shrieked the hedgehog. Faster and faster the Goldblum went, almost to the speed of light.
"This is how you handle vermin." Murmured the Goldblum. Then, there was a crashing sound of a door being thrown open. The Goldblum, realising what was coming, turned his head slowly to the left. There, filling the whole doorway with his beach body frame, was Kim-Jong-Un. An expression of growing rage began to show on his face, and his skin pigment was turning slowly red.
"This is haoh mai date reepays mee?" He whispered slowly. Without warning, he performed a triple back flip towards the pair of lovers in the middle of the room. The whole dining room seemed to hold it's breath as Jong-Un produced a golden firework stick from his ass. Still in the air, Jong-Un blew hard on the stick. It hissed and lit up the whole room with a deep royal purple colour before slowly taking the shape of something of legend. A giant hand. A protruding stomach. A monstrous chin. But when George Lucas spoke, his voice seemed to be magnified fifty fold, and echoed off the walls.
"This is essentially a love story." He bellowed mightily. Effortlessly, he grabbed the fleshy buttocks of all three of the horny participants, and brought them close to his already bulging trouser, which contained three flies to be undone. "It's time I showed you all who the real master is."
Not one, not two, but three lightsabers, all a deep crimson red in colour, slowly extended from within the flies. He brought the rumpus of each of the whores forth, and had the lightsaber contact the insides of each. Blinding white light, bellowing from the Lucas-God, and...silence.
Some time later, the three men woke up to still be lying on the stone floor of the restaurant. All of them were fully clothed.
"Uh, what was, uh, that all about?" Asked the Goldblum, rubbing his head.
"Boy, I don't know, but whatever it was, I sure don't want to do it again." Piped up Sanic.
"Ahgreed." Offered Jong-Un. Jong-Un slowly exited the spotless restaurant, however, the Goldblum lingered. He felt like he was forgetting something. It was when he was walking towards the exit when he felt it. A lurching from deep within his insides. He doubled over, and tried for support on the nearest table, but painfully collided with the floor. He was seeing stars. He looked down at his chest and saw, with horror, a dark spot of blood appearing there, as though something was fighting to escape. Realising what was to come, he closed his eyes. In huge splashes of blood and cum, a stunted Lucas slowly crawled out of the now dying Goldblum. The Lucas creature crawled slowly towards the Goldblum's face.
"You didn't think I was gone for good, did you?" Whispered the Lucas-creature. The Goldblum lifted his head one final time to see the Lucas-creature sprouting fangs before all went black.