Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, any of teh characters use in this story or any other copyrighted material.
Sora slid the books on his desk into his black and red messenger bag as the school bell rang to end the day. Another day gone by with Sora having no idea what he should do with his life. His classes just didn't interest him anymore, nothing did. Nothing had for as long as he could remember.
Sure, he had saved the worlds twice and the King had managed to organize a onetime get together to celebrate about a month ago but the two years fighting Heartless had left Sora in classes that he should have completed a long time ago. At first he was able to make up a lot of what he had missed at summer school, but eventually he started failing his regular classes and had to take them instead.
To make matters worse, he couldn't summon the keyblade anymore; not that he used it for anything but hiding things he didn't want people to ever find. Instead he had to resort to passwording most of his stuff on his computer or finding hiding spots that were incredibly difficult to get to. If anybody ever saw some of these things, his life was over.
Sora mindlessly walked through the busy crowd of kids and opened his locker. He put whatever binders he didn't need inside and replaced it with textbooks for the homework he had to do.
Homework, humph, I should be picking University courses like Riku and Kairi.
Well if somebody would stop drawing Heartless all class and actually do his work then maybe he would be.
Shut up Roxas.
Bite Me.
Would if I could, but I can't.
No, if you could you wouldn't get annoyed at me for being upset that you've been ignoring your friends for two weeks, meaning that I haven't seen Namine at all.
They won't want to see me; they have better things to do.
Like what?
Anything, Especially Kairi.
Get over it already.
Sora grabbed a couple of sketchbooks, a memory stick and a thin black book with an intricate lock on it and started making his way through the crowd. He made it out of the door easily enough and had almost gotten off school grounds when somebody bumped into him. Sora shrugged it off and continued walking. Before he knew it he was away from the screaming yard full of teenagers; away from the auburn and lilac haired people that were yelling at him and holding onto two of his books and his memory stick.
x0x0x0x
Riku saw Sora out of the corner of his eye and instantly grabbed Kairi and ran after him. The person who knocked the books out of Sora's hand might have slowed him down enough that he would get to see his friend for the first time in a month. Even he couldn't figure out what was wrong. Just suddenly one day Sora stopped hanging out after school. Then he was missing at lunch, and then he stopped showing up on instant messenger. Even his phone was either turned off or left unanswered now. It was enough to make Riku worried.
"Riku where the hell are we going!"
"I saw Sora, so we are going to knock some sense into him."
"Ya cause THAT's going to work. Just let him go, his mood will get better soon enough."
"Why, so you can go make out with Tidus for the next three hours?"
Kairi was silent.
"And don't act like you aren't aware that that is probably why he is upset."
"Shut up, I don't wanna hear it. He is my best friend, nothing more he knows that and he also knows ignoring us for two weeks isn't going to change it. And don't try to blame it on me, the fact that every other girl in the school is basically drooling at your feet can't exactly be helping the situation."
Riku bent over and picked up a small black book, a memory stick and a sketchbook from the ground.
"Well, maybe we can at least find out what he's been doing the last couple weeks since he's gone off again."
"Kairi I don't think it works that way, even if I do want to know what's going through his head. If you really want to do something sneaky like that to try to figure stuff out you can start by finding out how the hell he gets home in 5 minutes, walking, when he lives on the other side of the island."
"Maybe he uses portals of darkness!"
Riku stopped talking and walked straight to his car, leaving Kairi standing there not realizing what she had said.
Um, Kai, Riku PROBABLY isn't the person to be making jokes about portals of darkness around.
Oh shit, I didn't even think about that!
Kairi ran as fast as she could towards the parking lot and looked all around for Riku's car. She found it fairly quickly, it's not often you see a luxury car in a school parking lot. Turns out Riku had collected enough munny over the last year killing Heartless and Nobodies to make it so he would never need to work again in his life. Between that and the seven gem rings that him and Sora had gotten from the King, the two of them were probably the wealthiest people on the island, if not on their world. She still had no idea why they even bothered with school. Kairi walked up to the passenger window and knocked on it softly. She saw it roll down just enough that sound could get through the crack and heard the volume of the screaming that Riku called music get turned down.
"What do you want? Want me to call up a couple Heartless for you?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't think before I spoke, I guess him ignoring us has gotten to me more than I figured."
"And if I was really that pissed at you I would have made you walk, now get in."
Riku pulled out of the student parking lot and started heading towards Kairi's house. He kept his music on low since he knew Kairi couldn't stand it, but today the quiet just seemed too eerie.
"Riku, do you think he's okay?"
"I don't know, but he WILL see me today and tell me to my face what the hell is wrong with him."
Riku didn't tell Kairi that he had looked through Sora's sketchbook quickly before she got to the car; or that the pictures scared him half to death.
x0x0x0x
Sora walked into his room from the portal of darkness he had created and put his stuff down. The first thing that he noticed was that his thin black book and memory stick were missing. He didn't care too much, the memory stick had a password that was literally impossible for anybody but Riku or Kairi to have a remote chance at guessing and the book was sealed with his keyblade so that if anybody tried to open it without a keyblade, it would burst into flame. What worried him was his missing sketchbook but he could make up excuses for that. Then Sora got a text message on his cell phone.
"I have your stuff you dropped. We NEED to talk, I'll come over at 7:00 tonight. - Riku"
Sora felt the colour drain from his face. Riku had a keyblade, knew the password to that memory stick AND wouldn't accept excuses about his paintings. So he did the only thing he felt he could do. He wrote his mother a note, left it on the kitchen table, grabbed a few of his things, put them in his bag and left in a portal of darkness.
He had learned how to make a portal of light from the King in case there was ever an emergency, but lately his portals had been fading into deeper and deeper shades of grey. This last week they had been black as night. He sat down in his usual spot and began to draw. It would be the last drawing he would make; he knew he would never be allowed to draw like this again. He sat and laughed to himself as he was reminded of Namine and started to sketch a giant heart shaped moon.
x0x0x0x
Riku went up to his room and started his homework for the night. He figured if he told Sora that he would be there at 7:00 that if he showed up at 6:00 he wouldn't have had a chance to run off somewhere. As Riku went through his math problems he found his eyes drifting towards Sora's stuff more and more often.
Eventually he put his books away, turned on his computer and set Sora's stuff in front of him. As he waited for the computer to load, he flipped through Sora's sketchbook. Inside were countless pictures of Heartless and Nobodies. This didn't scare him; they were constantly on his mind too. What scared Riku was the amount of blood in each picture and the different ways Sora had drawn people dying. He reached the last page and felt himself start to vomit. It was a picture of Sora as a Nobody, commanding an army of Heartless as they burned down Destiny Islands. Sora's hair was longer, slicked back and black. Instead of a keyblade he had a giant black scythe and at his feet was a corpse of a girl whose hair hadn't been coloured in yet.
Riku controlled his nausea and put the memory stick into his computer.
PASSWORD REQUIRED
"Kairi" DENIED
"Heartless" DENIED
"Xemnas" DENIED
"Keyblade" DENIED
"Ansem" DENIED
Riku stared at the screen and tried to think of what Sora could have possibly put as his password. He tried everything he could think of: paopou, kingdom hearts, Roxas even gummi ship. Eventually he decided to look at the thin black book instead. It was bound in a strange material and was tightly looked by what seemed to be a mix of the Heartless and Nobody emblems. Riku chuckled and summoned Way to the Dawn and tapped the lock. It flew open to the first blank page just as Riku expected. He flipped to the front page and felt tears in his eyes.
Dear Journal,
It has been a week since the party at Disney Castle and already I can feel things getting bad again. My anti-depressants don't seem to be working and every day I feel worse. I just feel useless now. The King said that it will pass with time, and that lots of other keyblade wielders have gone through this before, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. Kairi and Tidus do nothing but make me angry whenever I see them. Forget that she rejected me, but now she doesn't even have the time to spend an afternoon at the movies just me and her. I spent two years fighting Heartless to save/find her and this is how I'm repaid!? If that's how I get treated for stuff like that why should I care about anything else? Riku has the attention of every girl at school, it's enough to make me sick.
Dear Journal,
It's been a week since I last wrote. I've stopped hanging out with Riku and Kairi; they both have things that they could spend their time doing that would be better for them. Who wants to hang out with a high school failure that lost the only thing he was really good at? Now I know how soldiers feel. I've resorted to cutting to help with my depression and it seems to be working. Just one small slice across the wrist and everything feels better, there isn't even much blood.
Riku stopped reading, he had seen more than enough after that last sentence. He decided to try just a couple more times at figuring out the password for the memory stick. The more he thought about things Sora would make as a password the more and more it didn't make sense that any of his guesses didn't work; until he decided to be arrogant.
"Riku"
ALTERNATE PASSWORD ACCEPTED
A single file appeared in the window in front of Riku, and as soon as he saw it's title he turned off his computer and ran as fast as he could towards his car. He knew where Sora would be now. Riku slammed his front door shut, not even bothering to lock it and jumped through the window of his car. He shoved the key into the ignition and felt the car roar to life. Riku knew he had no time to spare and flicked a small black compartment open on his dashboard and pressed the small red button underneath it. The car lifted into the air and Riku pushed the gas pedal straight to the floor. There could only be one place Sora would be, and only one thing on his mind, if the title of a file specifically for Riku was Goodbye.
x0x0x0x
Kairi was sitting in her family room watching The Notebook with Tidus. They had the house to themselves, a big bowl of popcorn and an entire week's worth of catching up to do. Every so often Kairi would have to give Tidus a quick jab when she could feel his hand starting to slip up her shirt, but otherwise she couldn't be happier. Until she felt her phone vibrate. The first three times she ignored it, but as soon as she heard a random screaming noise come from it she knew she had to answer it or Riku would never leave her alone.
"What is it Riku, I'm kind of busy right now."
"I'm in front of your house, get outside NOW!"
"But Tidu-"
"SORA IS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF!"
Kairi hung up the phone told Tidus that something urgent had come up, grabbed her purse and escorted him to the door. She locked the door and before she knew it Riku's car was landing on her driveway. Tidus' jaw would have hit the ground if it was physically possible.
"Sorry Tidus, you can try and feel Kairi up some other time, this is urgent."
Kairi hopped in the passenger seat and before Tidus could say anything Riku's car had started flying again and he was already headed towards a small island just off the coast of where they lived. The small island where they used to all play as kids.
x0x0x0x
Sora stared blankly at the sketchbook in his hands; his heart was doing the drawing for him. The picture was dark, fragmented. In the background lay Kingdom Hearts, the heart of all worlds, where Sora's heart would return in a few short moments. The sky was dark and partially cloudy, and in the center was Sora, not the Sora that people saw, but the Sora that Sora saw himself as. His hair was its usual spiky brown, but it was sagging as if it was soaked wet by rain. His eyes were listless, almost dead, no more the ocean blue orbs they used to be but now a dull grey. His one leg was hanging off of what appeared to be a cliff; the other was against his chest, with his head lying against it. His normal adventuring outfit was black and silver and the backs of his hands hand bright red X's on them.
Around Sora was what he used to consider his friends; Riku, the King, Simba, Beast, everybody. Behind him were Donald and Goofy. Every single person had their back turned to Sora, leaving a clear path between him and the giant Heart in the sky behind him. Except for one person, one barely recognizable person. Her feminine curves distorted by the distance, and her auburn hair faded out against the night; her back was also turned to Sora, except she was the only one walking away.
It was by far the greatest work Sora had ever done. His only other drawing that came close to it was of him Riku and Kairi all either sitting or leaning against the paupou tree. But that was a drawing from happier times; before Kairi crushed his heart.
That alone could never break him though; it was his other secret that finally tore him apart.
I can't believe you are actually going through with this. What the hell happened to the brave Sora who fought off thousands of Heartless! All I see now is a spineless coward.
Shut up Roxas.
No I'm not going to shut up, because if you die so do I, don't I get a say in this!?
No.
And why not? All you have to do is let me take over your body, and then you can sit and sulk in our mind as much as you want.
I'm done sulking; I'm actually doing something now.
Dying isn't something!
We'll see about that, not like you can stop me.
Sora threw his sketchbook to the side and opened his messenger bag to reveal and long sharp knife, and a bag of a clear liquid that had a small hose trailing from it along with a needle.
How the hell did you get morphine!?
I stole it with a portal of darkness.
Sora carefully tied off his arm and slid the needle into one of his veins. He could feel the effects of the drug slowly numbing all feeling. He reached for the knife and slowly brought it up in front of him, pointed towards his chest. And then he counted:
1…
2…
3!!!!
Sora tried his hardest to plunge the knife into his chest but for some reason he couldn't. He opened his eyes to see the shimmering figure of Roxas in front of him, pulling as hard as he could to bring the knife away from his Somebody.
Like hell I can't stop you!!
"Maybe you can stop the knife, but the morphine will eventually kill me!!"
"Sora stop!"
Kairi!?
Sora grinned then screamed. The knife was firmly planted in his chest now; the split second of shock that Roxas felt was all he needed. How fitting that it was Kairi that would make him die like this. Sora sat laughing quietly to himself as the blood trickled down his chest.
"It's…over…finally."
"No Sora you can't! You can't die on me!" Kairi pulled the knife out of his chest and screamed at the top of her lungs as she felt an endless stream of tears fall down her face.
"Riku don't let him die on me!"
"Curija!!!!"
"Reflega!"
A honeycomb lattice appeared around Sora and Kairi, sealing the only magic ser away from saving his best friend.
"Why Sora?! Why!?" Kairi sobbed onto his chest.
Sora looked up into Kairi's eyes, and with his last breathe said two words.
"Heart…shattered…" Sora's eyes closed and his head fell forward onto Kairi's shoulder. The auburn haired girl held her friend's body as close as she could to her chest as Riku ran in to check Sora's pulse. It was gone. His best friend was gone. Riku fell to his knees and held Sora's hand in his and felt tears come to his eyes for the first time in years.
"You idiot. You stupid, stupid idiot."
The two friends sat for an hour, just crying their hearts out until they took Sora's body out of their secret place and called the police. The last thought that crossed Riku's mind as Sora's body was zipped up in a body bag, was that that was the first time he had seen a smile on Sora's face in a month.
x0x0x0x
Sora's death shocked not only his mother and classmates, but everybody he had ever met in all the worlds. King Mickey was especially devastated. It took over a week to organize a funeral for Sora. His mother insisted that it be within a couple of days but Riku eventually got her to agree to allow time so that Sora's friends from other worlds could attend.
All the islanders were in shock as various people Sora had met on his journey shopped up in the week after his death. When a talking mouse dog and duck showed up the next day, several people fainted. By the third day the walking skeleton, talking lion and merfolk just got shrugged off.
Slowly, news about Sora's adventures circulated among the inhabitants of Destiny Islands, especially around Destiny High. Kairi broke up with Tidus the next day, who was absolutely heartbroken until he heard about what Sora had been through. After that he felt like the biggest jerk in the world, and was treated as such by every single person at the school. Kairi, though, was treated way worse. It seemed the only people on the Islands who didn't blame her for Sora's death were Riku and Sora's mother.
The only reason she didn't think that Riku blamed her, was that nobody had seen him since that night had ended. He answered his phone a couple of times when Kairi had called him, but that was just so she didn't think that he had gone and killed himself too.
When the day of the funeral arrived everybody wondered where Sora would be buried. Surely a hero such as him wouldn't be buried in the plain old Destiny Island cemetery. Nobody was disappointed when they heard where his final resting place would be. It turned out that the King had spent the week leading up to the funeral to fashion an extravagant crypt for Sora in his and Kairi's secret place. The crypt doors were solid alabaster, and the inside had a giant marble tomb for Sora's coffin to rest it, with a stone effigy of him on the top. The doors were magically sealed so that only keyblade wielders could gain entry, since people were leaving valuable gifts in the tomb as a token of their appreciation for what Sora did. Anything from gold coins to jewels to silks, the hero of the worlds got nothing but the best from visitors paying their final respects.
After much crying and many stories about the great things Sora had done the visitors from other world's left until the only people sitting on the small beach by Sora's tomb were Riku and Kairi.
"Everybody hates me Riku. Even I hate me, this is all my fault."
The silver haired boy was silent.
"And I hope that second tomb in there isn't for me, I don't deserve something like this, I don't deserve anything." Kairi felt tears starting to form in her eyes. It was a feeling she had become accustomed to over the last week. Riku was silent.
"For fuck's sake Riku you're supposed to help me through this, it's not like you are to blame for this, this is all my fault!" Kairi screamed as tears streamed down her face.
Riku was silent, and almost looked like he hadn't moved until Kairi noticed a small black object extended towards her.
"What is this Riku?"
"Sora's memory stick, the password is my name. Go home."
"FINE!" Kairi snatched the memory stick out of Riku's hands and stormed towards her small boat that would take her back to shore.
x0x0x0x
When Kairi got home she ran up to her room and cried into her pillow until she physically couldn't cry anymore. When she finally got up she walked over to her laptop and plugged in the memory stick Riku had given her.
PASSWORD REQUIRED
"Riku"
ALTERNATE PASSWORD ACCEPTED
Alternate? What is the actual password?
There was only one file titled Goodbye. Kairi double-clicked it and felt even more tears fall down her cheeks as she read the letter Sora had left.
Riku,
My best friend. If you are reading this I am either dead or very soon will be. I can't live on anymore. The loneliness is just too much for even me to bear. Every day now is worse than when I was looking for you. At least then I had hope, now I have nothing but the wealth I accumulated on my journey. You might think that Kairi going out with Tidus is what prompted this but that was just the straw that broke the camel's back. The truth is I've felt 'empty' since we all got back. Almost as if fighting the Heartless was my purpose in life, and now that they're gone I don't have a destiny anymore. That is except for you. The more I watched Tidus and Kairi together the more I realized I wasn't truly in love with her. Maybe it was her rejecting me, but the more I thought about it the more I realized it was you I really wanted to be with. I know though that this could never come to be true, there's no way you were IN love with me. I just couldn't live on feeling empty and knowing that my only love could never ever be mine. With whatever is left of my heart I'm sorry for the pain my death has caused you.
I Love You
Sora
I'm Sorry
"I'm Sorry? That's a random spot to put that."
Maybe that's the real password Kai?
"Good idea Namine!"
Kairi entered the password and three different folders popped up. The first had very dark poetry that Sora had written. The second was what appeared to be recent journal entries, detailing just how miserable Sora had felt. The last folder Kairi couldn't help but stare at. In it were pictures of Sora. NAKED pictures of Sora. Kairi couldn't help but wish she had gotten MUCH closer to Sora before any of this could have happened for several reasons. She closed her laptop and took out the memory stick and called Riku's cell.
When he finally picked up Kairi could hear him crying on the other end.
"It's all my fault, if only I had noticed him this wouldn't have happened."
"Riku, I…I'm so sorry…"
"I can't believe I'm such an idiot." Riku said through what Kairi assumed were tears.
"Riku, just, please calm down and come over, I think we both need the company."
The last thing Kairi heard from Riku's phone was four words and a scream.
"I love you too."