It had been one year ago that Kurt Hummel's world crumbled around him.

His footsteps trod heavily over damp soil as he made his way through the headstones, finding a particular one in the back of the cemetery. Kurt clutched his sides as he knelt on the newly growing grass, uncaring about the state of his pants.

"Um, h-hey, you." His voice echoed through the graves.

"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you in the past weeks. It's been havoc at my house with the Hudson's moving back in. I told you, that Carole was pregnant, before..." Kurt stayed silent, not wanting to say the word; it was still raw to his mind and his heart. He closed his eyes.

"Her and Finn moved back into my dad's when she was seven months." Kurt smiled to himself. "She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, on the 18th of October. They named her Grace. She's a lovely little baby, always smiling. She would have loved you."

A single tear ran down Kurt's cheek. He swiped it away quickly, "sorry. I know you wouldn't want me crying. Just, it's been a hard year. Everyone misses you, even Mercedes misses your presence." He laughed at the mention of his best friend. "She keeps telling me that I should stop coming here once a week. She says that I'm just hurting myself by re-opening the wound that was made when you...died." Kurt chose his words wisely.

"But I miss you so much."

He screwed his eyes shut tightly, attempting to keep his tears at bay. He sniffed the cold air and opened his eyes again to look at the words on the stone.

A tear dropped onto the stone, marking it with the small splash. Kurt furiously wiped it away before it could leave a mark or stain.

"Quinn is bad. She never really got over it. It was worse today, at school. Everyone whispering when any of the old Glee members walked by. She ended up screeching at Jacob Ben-Israel in second period today. Nobody had seen him since." Kurt laughed quietly at the memory. His heart still ached.

"Miss Pilsberry took her into her office to calm Quinn down. I think we all need that today." Kurt sniffed. The cold was getting to him but he still needed to speak.

"Glee club finished. No one wants to go anymore after you...went. Mr Schue nearly went into meltdown, and he raged at Sue when she said something about you. About us."

Kurt's tears spilled over. They flowed and came crashing down as fast as his soul had, that day one year ago.

"It's not fair. You don't deserve to be in the ground. I should be down there, not you!" Kurt sobbed. He hugged himself tightly and rocked himself. He didn't care about wiping his eyes anymore.

"Nobody speaks to Karofsky anymore. He was suspended for 6 months, and when he came back, even Azimio refused to speak to him. The whole hockey team ganged up on him, the first match he was back. Scratched him up pretty bad, broke his hand too." Kurt shook his head. I wish thats all you had to deal with.

"We graduate in a few months. It doesn't feel right. We were supposed to graduate together, then head off to New York, pursue our dreams."

"I remember when we were at my house that time. You nearly broke up with me, because you felt you were pulling me back from New York. I remember when you called yourself a Lima Loser, and that you should stay here, and I should go, because you'd just end up hurting me." He sniffed the air and looked upwards.
"I remember your reaction when I just kissed you, and called you an idiot. And I remember...what happened afterwards." Kurt blushed at the thought.

"I'm not supposed to be at your grave. You're not supposed to be in the ground. You're supposed to be here with me, at my house, hiding our antics from my dad and playing Super Mario Bros." Kurt chuckled. His giggles turned into laughter and laughter into hysterics. Then he broke down, and he sobbed.

He lay his head on the cold stone and cried his heart out. His tears ran down the rock and into the canals where a name resigned. He placed his thumb on the first letter. The soprano traced the name with his thumb as more tears appeared.

"I'm sorry for crying. It's just...been a heck of a year. " He tried to sustain his tears as he spoke to the grave.

"...and I loved it when you called me Princess...even if I am a guy." He laughed at himself. He had been speaking to a grave for an hour, naming the things he loved about his first boyfriend. His worn out jeans, his cocky smirk, and how he pouted when he couldn't get what he wanted.

"I spoke to Miss Pilsberry. I told her I couldn't deal with you leaving. It hurt, so much. I was on the edge. But then she told me something, that, maybe it hurt so much not because you were gone, but because I was hiding something from you whilst you were here. It made sense."

Kurt looked to the sky, as if for courage. He took a deep, shaky breath and traced the name once more.

"I loved you...no. I-I love you. I'm just sorry I couldn't say it before you went."

He sobbed once more, tried to compose himself, and went on:

"I love you for what you were, what you are, and what you ever will be. I will love you till the day I die, even if when I die, I will be an old man and you will still be that 16 year old I fell in love with, I will still love you, and I will hope that you can just love me back like you used to."

Kurt cried. His eyes were tired, his throat was raw and his head ached. But he had to get it out of him.

"I can't let you go. I didn't want to let you go. I want to see you, just one more time. Just once more. But I know that can never happen." His tear-streaked face was pale as it had ever been, tears still cascading.

He kneeled up, and placed a chaste kiss onto the top of the stone.

"I love you."

Kurt stood, and stepped out of the cemetary, still sobbing.

Finn stalked through the house, trying to keep himself quiet as he made his way to the kitchen. Hey, he gets hungry at 3am. He created himself a sandwich and sat at the kitchen table.

Finn sighed in pleasure. It was a damn good sandwich. His appetite was paused when he heard whimpering from the basement. He stepped down the stairs into Kurt's bedroom, to see the soprano wriggling in his sleep, whimpering. At first Finn thought he was having a...sexual dream, until he realised what Kurt was whimpering about.

"No, stop, please..."

Finn's jaw became slack.

"Stop it, don't hurt him,

no,

please!"

Finn crossed the room and came to the side of Kurt's bed.

"Kurt?"

"Stop, no!

No!

NOAH!"

Kurt screamed at the top of his lungs that name. He jerked himself awake and sat up, tears streaming down his face.

"Oh Kurt..."

Kurt turned to his side to see Finn looking at him with sympathetic eyes. His tears continued as he threw himself into Finn's arms. Finn hugged him tightly, stroking his back in light circles.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt." Finn whispered into his ear. A tear ran down his right cheek.

"Please, make them stop." Kurt cried.

"Make them stop." His breathing hitched.

"Make him come back."

He screwed his eyes shut tightly, attempting to keep his tears at bay. He sniffed the cold air and opened his eyes again to look at the words on the stone.

Noah Puckerman

Taken from us, 6th May 2011

Beloved father, partner, friend and brother.

Love still remains.

A/N: OHAI GUISE! this is my first ever fanfiction. i didn't know whether to post it or not. it made me cry when i read it. for a hurt fanfic, thats usually a good sign, right? anyway, please review? i'd like them, so i know whether to write anything else. thank you everyone :D x