"It's all your fault!"

There it was; that very sentence which is embedded on my mind.

That was the beginning when my world started to fall down.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

One Sunday morning, I was getting ready to go in my best friend's house. Mikan's house seemed to be the only place wherein I could recover the wounds and injuries in my body because of my family. Honestly, we're not related by blood. I'm an adopted child and unfortunately the family that took me in is definitely not ordinary. They are seriously insane. My 23-year old sister, Sumire, would always spend her time, counting all of the distorted and creepy dolls in her bedroom and if there was even one missing, she'd totally freak out. And by saying freak out, like shouting in her bedroom, causing disturbance to the whole city and then she would always go to my room, imposing another injury using her sewing kit. There was even a time when she threw the whole set of needles! Damn, it hurts like hell but it was nothing compared to my other siblings.

My brother would always drink liquors which caused him to break and tear everything to pieces including myself. If I am lucky enough, he would only create a bruise on my arm but today, my flesh was torn apart by the knife that was nearby. It freaking hurts so much but if I cry or shout, it would only please that jerk even more that's why I ripped some of my old clothes and used it as bandage to wrap it around my arm. I know I can't rely on Mikan forever and I can't make up another lie just to have her treat it.

Lastly, my seemingly gentle 15-year old sister, Anna. She would seem to be such a nice and adorable little sister but that is all an illusion to hide her true personality. She used to be a great scientist, being invited to all the TV Stations, having her 1st published book when she was only 9 yrs, old, having a whole mansion dedicated for her research and with all the supporters and co-scientists there to help her BUT ever since her childhood sweetheart/bestfriend died, she cracked up. They were really close, I suppose. I had the feeling that she loves that guy. He always came over to our house and I would always hear them laughing and talking about something - logical and for the 1st time ever, I saw Anna smile. But that was also the last. Anna is the worst among my siblings, being the great scientist she was, she would always force me to take unknown and probably, leftover pills from her mansion which caused my body to weaken and sometimes, it made me feel groggy and uncomfortable.

I tried. I really tried my best to ignore them. I read a book that states that the bullies always pick the losers who always had the best and interesting reaction but that was in a book. This is reality. I had to face it. I have to, right? That's the best choice I have right now.

I swung the front gate open and there I saw a jolly female, rushing over, her hands spreading out in the air, attempting to hug me again. I didn't bring my Baka-Gun today and I have no intention of striking her straight into the head just like we were in elementary.

I smiled a little, reminiscing our past memories when we were just simple elementary students at Alice Academy.

"HOOOTTTAAARRRUUU!"

Mikan hugged me tight with no intention of letting go, I hugged her back. My instincts tell me to be nice to her and enjoy the time being with Mikan for a reason I don't know why but I decided to go along with it. Just seeing Mikan, enlightens my day; Her cheerful face, her joyful personality, her clumsiness that never cease to surprise me and her stubborn attitude that always made my day. I'm so glad that I have a friend like her who would always support me with a smile on her face. How encouraging that would be for me.

We went inside her house while she offered to grab some juice and snacks. I went to her room first and along the way, I've seen Ruka, holding his ever-beloved bunny.

"Hey" Ruka said.

I didn't respond but stopped allowing him to speak.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. I just came over to spend time with Mikan" I said, still having my usual monotone voice.

"Oh" A blush crept up on his face. His posture is changing and his eyes are rolling.

"D-d-do you want—"He stammered and even bit his tongue.

I crossed his way and said "I've got a lot of things to do"

He looked disappointed but he quickly flashed me one of those smiles. Like I would ever fall for that prince.

I sat on Mikan's comfortable chair and relaxed. I feel much more comfortable here at Mikan's house rather than my home. I turned around and stared at myself at the mirror. I'm wearing an ivory sweater with a small crab design at the edge, a medium-sized denim shorts and a sneakers. I'm not the girly type who would spend all their time, trashing their closet, looking for the right clothes; something simple is enough for me.

The door suddenly opened with Mikan's cheerful face coming in.

"Did you wait long?"

"Yeah, I've waited for an idiot like you"

"Aww, don't be such a meanie" She placed the tray on the table and started to eat the snacks. I got the crab brains first and ate it. We had a long and short conversations about something random until we ate all our snacks.

"Hey Hotaru"

"Hmn?"

"Let's go to the park and buy Howalons!"

. . .

"Please, Hotaru!"

. . .

"I'll treat you!"

"Let's go"

. . . .. . . . . .. . . .. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

After Mikan bought the largest box of Howalons, we sat down on a bench. I was trying to get another piece of Howalon but then it fell down on the ground and as I try to reach it, Shoot!, the bandage unwrapped itself and fell. Mikan dropped her empty box and reached for my hand.

"Hotaru!? What happened!? Who did this to my Hotaru!?" She asked in a worried tone with a frown.

I avoided her eyes and shifted it on the floor. I felt increasingly uncomfortable under Mikan's steady gaze.I picked up the bandage. Mikan's eyes narrowed.

"Hotaru, are you hiding something from me?"

For the first time, I didn't knew what to say. I didn't know how to explain all the sufferings I've been through. I don't want to let her know.

I stood up and walked. I clumsily flew down on the floor and as much as I hate it to happen, the wound on my arm started to re-open as it made a contact with the hard ground. I yelled in pain. It freaking hurts so much right now I wish I could faint. Mikan immediately went by my side and started to carry me on her back.

"I'm okay Mika-"

"Shut up, Hotaru. I'm still angry at you"

I clammed up. I felt guilty. Wait, ME? Now that's new. The Ice Queen feeling emotions? That's practically what I'm feeling right now so shut up. I managed to get off Mikan's back.

"I'm really okay" I tried to convince Mikan but it was no use; she tried harder to get information out of me. "I'm your bestfriend! I have the responsibility to know your troubles"

Then it hit me. She's my bestfriend and yet I neglected her. I decided not to trust her. Great, I feel like an idiot.

I blurted out something unexpected.

"Mikan, what should I do?"