WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
OK, I was just trying to see if this pen has ink. Not that I love drawing random lines.
Man.
I am just really bored right now.
And I feel like writing.
I know, it sounds super gay. But I am not writing a journal or diary or any gay shit like that, I just want to write something because I am hopelessly bored and have no better shit to do.
Kyle is not here; I mean he's out of town, on vacation in Canada. Because Ike's been begging to go. And I am left here, with no better shit to do every day except watch TV, eat, watch TV, and sleep.
I hate Summer.
Actually I don't, I just hate it when Kyle's not around. At least if he's here we could watch TV, eat, watch TV, and sleep together.
Wait, the last one came out totally wrong.
Well, we did sleep together in sleepovers when we were kids, but that's a long time ago.
I miss those days...
Crap.
I really didn't mean it like that.
Anyway.
I am super bored right now.
And I already went through the Red Button three times, that means I blew up the world and Hell three times. I like the red button, it's fun. I do it when I am bored, but I can't do it too much though, otherwise when I do it next time I am bored, it wouldn't be so fun anymore. I guess I like it because it "cleverly" leads you back to the first line after leading you through a whole bunch of crapo stories.
I can't believe I actually read all the entries on Fuck My Life.
Seriously, I think some of it is not even true.
There's a guy who said that he got suspended for two weeks in school because he was taking a dump during a fire drill and his teacher said that it was an "improper behavior".
I think I should download some new apps…
But free apps are always crappy.
Man I am so hopeless.
Me and my iTouch.
That bastard didn't call me. He said he would call me at least once a day, but I guess he's having so much fun he had forgotten all about his super best friend.
First thing he comes back, I'm gonna ignore him and make him feel bad for neglecting me for so long.
No... That sounds like something girls do.
I wonder if I am ever going to read this again.
My hand writing is getting sloppy...
You ever had that feeling? Like when you've been out of school for a long ass time and suddenly when you start writing something again it feels weird?
Why am I talking to you? Whoever is reading this...
Creepy.
Whatever, I am still bored.
And Kyle still hasn't called!
Maybe I should think of something to do...
Read a book maybe?
Kyle is always reading books. But me, I just can't sit still and read...
Ha. But I am sitting here and writing... Ironic.
I can't believe this is my last summer before high school ends and Kyle is not spending it with me.
It's totally against the best friend code.
I don't want high school to end...
Because apparently Kyle is going to some fancy Ivy League school that I would never get a chance to even have an interview with.
I wonder what we will become in the future.
I can totally see it now...
I am gonna get a desk job like my dad, become another middle class white guy, single, looking for someone to marry so she can take care of my laundry and make me sandwiches.
And Kyle will probably graduate with some fancy degree like Biochemistry engineering or some complicated crap like that. Then his mom would force him to blind date some distant Jewish relatives so they can make Jewish babies...
I can't imagine Kyle being a dad though, that would be hilarious!
His kids would have red hair just like him and he would make them wear that little green hat he always wore when we were in elementary.
I wonder if we are going to stay in touch, cause I really don't want to lose a childhood best friend like Kyle... I mean, we've been through so much together.
Hey, let me tell you a secret, but don't tell anyone.
I am serious.
Don't.
OK, if you tell anyone, the ghost of a little girl is going crawl out under your bed and choke you to death when you go to sleep tonight.
Or somewhere along those lines.
Yes, just like one of those e-mail or forum spams.
I fucking hate those.
It's like they think I am dumb enough to believe them. And those people who actually follows the instructions and forward them to others are complete retards.
Oh right, the secret...
...
Are you sure you are not going to tell?
Ah! I am going crazy talking to an invisible person here…
It's all Kyle's fault. If he's here then I wouldn't be writing this shit and thinking I am going Tweek Tweak.
Yeah, "going Tweek Tweak" is like an expression we use, it means going cuckoo. Wait, why am I even explaining?
Whatever.
Fine, if you so want to know.
I like Kyle.
Like, really like him. Not just the best friend kind of like. You know what I mean.
Don't fucking tell him or I will fucking kill you.
A/N: I just wanted to narrate in Stan's voice that is not one bit "gay". That's why I didn't describe Kyle's smexyness. I think it sounds totally fine and just like a 17 year old boy. What do you think?
No sequel, just one shot. Unless you request. But don't you like it short and sweet?
Oh yeah, that FML entry was for real, I read it like 2 weeks ago. The Red Button is like an online flash game that is quite fun to mess with. Just google The Red Button and you'll find it.