Must Get Out
It was two days before I had to leave for the road, and Bella couldn't come with me since she had more "important" things to do like hang out with Edward. Yes, Edward. I know for a fact she always loved him more then she loved me. It was it no fair we had to end. All I have been thinking about was her: how much I loved her and would miss her so much. My life wasn't going to be the same without her. I wanted to be the one to be with her but she chose the one that's not safe, I know he will break her. I could be wrong; I have to stop thinking about that. This also might be my last time to see her. What am I going to do now? I am not the same Jake I used to be. So it's not going to working to with Bella and me, so I have to leave. It hurts me see her with him. Every time I look around I see them together and it's sickening. I told my dad that I have to leave so I don't think about her. I know it will take time to get over her, but I know deep in my heart that I will always love her. As I thought back to when we were together I thought she was happy but I guess I was now and now that I have to leave its kills me, too.
It would kill me more if I stay here and watch the two of them. I wanted to leave without saying "good bye" to her because I know it will hurt her to see me go but I have no choice. Poor Bella; what is she going to do when I am not here. I can't stand it I have to tell her the news that I am leaving because she hurt me when she broke up with me. I didn't know where to go; I had no place here in Washington anymore, there's no use for me. The one reason I am here it is now gone; she broke my heart and told me it's over. What did I do to deserve this? Nothing. I did absolutely nothing to hurt her but I got my heart ripped out of my body. At that point I was already in tears. I have to admit to myself that it's over. But I can't. I went to the bathroom and cried, trying not to think about her. But it was hard. I was about to wash my face when I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
"Jake, the phone is for you," my sister said, her voice cheery and sing-songy.
"Who is it?" I asked.
I damn well knew who it was. Her. Yes Bella. What does she want why is she calling me, is it because her new man isn't home? I didn't want to get over of the bathroom or even talk to her. What do I do now? My soul mate found someone new. And I am all alone. More tear tears fall from my eyes now. Bella, Baby, I love you, why does this have to come to an end? I sat on the toilet with my face in my hands. Rachel was still knocking on the door. Do I talk to her or not? That's my decision to make. Do I want to hurt her or not? I don't know what to do. She hurt me so much when she told me that it was over.
"Jacob Black, come out of there right now!" Rachel yelled.
"Why should I?" I yelled back.
"Bella really wants to talk to you."
"Fine," I replied as I got up and walked to unlock the door and swung it open almost knocking my sister over.
"Jacob what is going on with you?" she asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," I answered, taking the phone from her and walking back into my room. I slammed the door behind me. Why am I doing this? Jacob you got to face the facts, man.
"Hello," I said.
"Hey Jake, it's about time you came to the phone."
"Bella, don't start!" I said.
"Start what?" she asked.
"You know perfectly well what, being sarcastic," I answered.
"I am not being sarcastic! I have been waiting for, like, ten minutes," she said.
"Well what do you want?" I grumbled.
"I just wanted to see if everything is okay."
"What do you mean? Of course things aren't okay," I replied, making my annoyance clear in my tone of voice.
"You know, after the break up."
Here we go again; the B-word. I was starting to calm down but once she said that word, tears filled my eyes once again. I felt my heart break again; I wished she hadn't said that. But she did. I went to look at our picture that we had done a few weeks ago. She seemed happy, but was it just a put on? I placed it back on my dresser, adjusting it until it sat there just so.
"Jake, are you still there?" she asked.
"Sorry I was just looking at our picture," I answered.
"You know, I really did feel bad breaking up with you," she said softly.
"You could have fooled me," I retorted.
"You know what Jacob Black, I did everything in my power to not do this to you and this how you react to this," she yelled.
"You don't have to yell," I said as I wiped my eyes.
"Sorry Jacob," she replied.
"Bells you know I also tried everything to make you happy."
"Jake it didn't work out, we have been together since we were fifteen, and yes, I was happy in the beginning. But when I met Edward I had a choice to stay with you and try to make things work or make my life better with him."
"So after 4 years with me you want to end our relationship over him?" I said.
Here we go another fight over the phone. I wasn't going to like this at all. Right now I felt like my life was ending right in front of me. Which it did, so I finally made up my mind on leaving Washington for good. And leaving my old life behind maybe it would be better that way.
"Jake, I still love you and always will but we never went anywhere the last few months that we were together."
"So that's why you left me for him?" I had to ask that.
"That's one reason. There are others, too but I don't want to talk about it."
"So if I were to take you out again, you would have a better chance with stay with me."
"I don't know, maybe," she answered.
I walked over to my window and stared out. I had no choice but to ask her if I could see her one last time before I left. And hoped she would agree. That's when I would tell her that I am leaving and never coming back, so she can forget all about me and our past. It will be harder for me than for her. And I know she will forget about me eventually.
"Bella, can I ask you for one thing? I know you don't me any favors or anything, but one last thing?"
"What is it Jake?" she asked.
"Well I would like to see you one last time," I answered.
"Um, well I guess it won't hurt if I do; when do you want to see me?" she asked.
"Tonight?" I asked.
"I guess tonight will work." she answered.
"Around eight-ish or so?"
"Yeah, alright," she answered.
"Thanks, Bella," I replied as I began to feel the urgency of her touch one last time.
"So, I'll have Edward drop me off and then you can drive me home," she said.
"Sound good," I replied. I kind of liked the idea of that; more time to myself.
"Alright then I'll see you around then. Bye." she said as she hung up the receiver. I put the phone down and trying to think of what do I say to her about me leaving. It's too hard to think right now. I'll make snacks and something to drink for us. Than maybe I carry her to my room for one more night together before I am off. I was thinking if I drive her home I'll just take off immediately after that. This is the hardest thing I will have to do: leave Washington.
I walked downstairs to our kitchen to find some snacks and see if we have soda. We did, thank God. I was getting everything ready for our little time together when I heard knocking coming from the living room door. I dropped what I was doing and walked over to the door, there stood Sam and Emily. Great, I thought, what now? I didn't want to answer the door but it wouldn't be nice of me not to invite them in for at least for a little while. So I opened the door and let them in. Emily looked beautiful as always and Sam looked the same as normal.
"What brings you here?" I asked.
"I wanted to see you," Sam answered, shrugging.
"How did you know I was leaving?" I asked.
"Our pack can read minds and knows your thoughts, remember?" he answered.
"Oh. Right." I said.
"And, since Bella is coming over we thought we would stop by before she comes," he added. "Well, we will miss you bro." Sam said as he patted me on the shoulders.
"Yeah, have a nice trip," Emily chimed in.
"Thanks I reply as I gave Em a hug.
Tears begin to fall from my eyes again when I hugged Emily. I was starting not to want to move but it would be best for us since I know it would be hard to me and when I see her with him it will break my heart even more. As I pulled away from her I realized they were like family. And to see me leave it will hurt them as well. But I know they will find me someday and happier. I hope. Which it may never be. But as long as I'm not here I won't have to see Bella with him.
"It'll be okay, bro," Sam said.
"I hope so."
"It will in time. "
"I just need to get my head straight."
"Well, we should let you go now," he said as he walked to the door.
"Thanks, I will give you a call sometime." I replied as I opened the door for them to walk out.
After they left I finish getting everything ready for us. I just hope she will not take this the wrong way. I walked in to the living room to wait for her to get over here; of course he had to bring her over. Well maybe that was a plus sign that he did, well at least he is willing to make her happy. Only an hour and a half until she will be coming over. I can't wait to see her one last time. I thought this might change her mind, but it might be it worse. She won't expect this, I just need to make love to her one last time. All I have been thinking that she will regret having sex with me and Edward might kill me if he finds out where I'm going . But it's worth it, you know? I tried to relax for a while until she would be here. I just need to relax so I can find what I want to tell her.
At 7:55 pm my doorbell rang so I got up and walked over to the door to answer it, as I open the door there stood my girl of my dreams: Bella. I gestured for her to come in. She looked more beautiful than ever. I just had to smile when I saw her. I followed her to the kitchen. I pulled out a chair for her and I sat down beside her. I wanted more of her but I knew it wasn't going to work. I reached for two cans of Coke and handed her one. I wanted to kiss her. We sat there in silence for a moment before she said something.
"Jake what is it that you want to see me for?" she asked.
"I only have two days before I leave," I answered.
"You're leaving Washington?" she asked.
"Yes, I think that would be best for both of us."
"I thought we were going to stay friends." she said.
"I did, too, but every time I see you with him it breaks my heart," I responded.
"So that's it? You're going to leave me and start over?" she ask sounding hurt.
"Yes, so I wanted to see you before I leave," I answered.
The look on her face was shock and hurt. I wished I could do anything to me make her smile. I was afraid that if I carried her to my room she would freak out and tell me that I am a jerk but I did want I wanted. I walked up behind her and begin to massage her shoulders so she could relax. I kissed her on the head.
"Bells, I love you so much I just wish you could see it."
"Jake, I know you love me, it's just that I fell in love with Edward and I am happy now. "
I picked her up and lifted her up and carried her to my room like I wanted to. She looked shocked and worried. I whispered in her ear, just one more time before I leave. She didn't say a word; she knew that I wouldn't give up until I had what I wanted. So I put her down on the floor and closed the door and lock it. She smiled.
"Just one more time." I begged her.
"Fine. This is it, though," she replied as she took off her blouse and bra, then her jeans and panties; she lay on my bed waiting for me to come over. I got undressed slowly to make sure it was what I wanted. As soon as I was nude I pulled out a condom and place it over my penis and lay on the top of her and I started to tease her entrance then I push myself inside of her and began to have sex with her one last time. I could feel her getting tight and tight which means she was enjoying it.
I know this isn't going to make her come back to me but it was for my own peace of mind that I know we were over.