Disclaimer: Kihai au e mau ana ki te tino rangatiratanga o Naruto me te waiata ataahua e whai ake nei
(thoughts (trying to be) ignored)
For Manaaki and Mahiti, who are too stupid to accept what's right in front of their v own eyes and who I love to bits in spite of this :D
Good Morning Baby
Lover
There's that risk
As you bewitch me under
An overbridge
o0o
Love?
No.
This wasn't love. It couldn't be. Not…this! In the stories, in all the soppy books he'd ever pretended he didn't read, there was nothing that said the way he felt. Not as though his insides were twisted and pierced and crumply like a wire coathanger had been shoved down his throat.
And the warmth – the heat that people talked about all soppy like, it wasn't nice, it hurt! The twisted metal turned molten, and would roar through him dizzily, sickly, and he knew that this wasn't love.
No, this wasn't love at all.
And when he, dizzy and ill clung to Sasuke because he was there, it wasn't love.
Love didn't dull roar away in the background, didn't dull away his body, so that he only existed where Sasuke touched him, when Sasuke touched him. There, and there, ah-and when he in turn reached out, touched Sasuke's beautiful pefect body, it wasn't love at all. The bitemarks on a lily-pale shoulder were no badge of affection, believe it!
Love was…spending time with Hinata, yeah. Was looking into her moonstone eyes, so clear and beautiful, seeing the faintest suggestion of a rosy blush in her cheeks. It was…running his fingers through her long midnight hair as he even told her that he loved her was how real his love was for Her was his love... It was feeling her mouth pucker into a smile as he softly pressed his lips to hers, was holding her close to his body, and breathing in the jasmine smell of her contentedly.
Not like those ridiculous sparring sessions where he and Sasuke committed themselves to an all-nighter, their bodies so attuned to one another that it was like some (neverending velvety dance) premeditated battle, like…chess or something, (except neither of them led and no one ever got the upper hand;
Figuratively speaking…)
It wasn't feeling his lungs burning, burning from inhaling the caustic basil smell of him when they'd fought themselves to a clinging standstill, limbs all tangled together and just stopped at snapping point, so, y'know, when the only weapon left was his mouth, what else was he supposed to do? Let the teme win? Yeah right!
And it couldn't be love when he felt that way, because Love wasn't so violent.
…nor so loud…
Love didn't cry out so that afterwards he was hoarse, so that the other boy tried to cover his mouth to keep in that keening noise that spilled out of him, when everything spilled out of him, when they – hn.
Love was soft as a thrush, a quiet stumbling murmury declaration of not caring what her family thought! Not some sick gut churning pain because, no matter what, the clan always came first, and no matter what, he couldn't ever fulfill that role that Sasuke required the most: someone to rebuild his clan with. But he knew that. And (it hurt so much. And) because he knew that, he knew that there was no point saying pointless words that wouldn't change anything, either.
Because there was nothing to change.
Because a question in the onyx eyes he couldn't help drowning in wasn't 'stay with me'; but 'don't tell'.
But geez! He could have saved that look for some other dobe, some other fool who didn't get where things stood.
Not that there was anything to stand on at all.
Because there was nothing stable, nothing safe about the things that they didn't not ever never do(?). Nothing constant about the mercurial yoyo caving in faithless leaps into the dark, because…hell, what was there supposed to be to have faith in before the jump?
Not Love.
Not when there wasn't any.
That was the point.
Was why they just jumped.
And fell.
o0o
A/N: so whaddya think? and there you go. A first go at a sasunaru. Born of a frustration because a coupla my friends are sooooo in denial about loving each other and i'm this close to coming out on their behalf XP
The quote at the top is from this poem by this girl, but i can't remember who she is n.n it's just not mine – i can't write to save my life :D
The title is a song by Bic Runga and (extended) woulda been the exposition quote had i not tweaked this in places
Plotly:
Naruto and Sasuke developed feelings for each other and in an effort to stem this tried going out w girls instead. Hinata in Naruto's case, Sakura in Sasuke's (except that stuff got cut out because it wasn't going noicely in this)
But they end up cheating on their respective girlfriends anyway
And can't square w what's actually going on between them
And the snapping twisty clingyness bit, (on the superficial level hehe) i meant as like jujitsu (i think…i only know shao lin n.n) or like that bit in kung fu hustle where the beast, landlord and landlady stalemate each other's attacks in the casino
question raised was 'wtf real for her his love was for herness?' deliberate guys, just so you know. naruto attempting to convince himself he loves hinata more by repeating it in circles but he overtalks it - denial in one of its more obscure manifestations...:D