Harry stared down at a blank page, the conclusions filling his head almost indefinitely. There were no reasons to live. Not at all...according to the book he had just written. So he just tossed it aside and got up. He would soon be talking with Running Weasel and Heroine Stranger, so no problemo.
He walked down to the Great Hall, which was now themed around "goffic" imagery. Truly, the way Hog's Warts was supposed to be run. Anyway, he began conversing with Running and Heroine.
"Oh, hey, Hairy!" Said Runner while Heroine was stuffing her nose in a book, although secretly watching the second season of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-air".
"Oi, how'zit goin', luv?" Hrary replied in his rICH accent.
"Hairy, have you been gurgling marbles? Since when have you talked like that?" Heroin asked.
"Sorry, mum, just having a bit of a wank with the accent is all." Harr answered.
"That's just mockery at this point." Run commented angrily.
"What's the Weasel boy gonna do, eh? Gonna slug me and prance off, is he?" Hrray remarked to his friend.
Weasel replied by doing exactly as Harry said before running off in a hissy fit. Running was later expelled that day for being a pansy.
"Serves you right, Pot-head." Heroin commented smugly. She was found dead in the boy's bathroom by next Thursday.
As for Pairy Hott? Well, he ate breakfast as usual before going to agriculture or whatever. That isn't edgy enough so we'll just ignore it.