All That Still Matters
Gummi Bears is copyrighted to Disney, used primarily for the enjoyment of fans, no infringement intended. Any new characters are copyrighted to ThickerThanLove. Please do not use without permission
Running through the halls of Gummadoon was something Cubbi had not done in years. Oh, he still loved to play around but it was much easier to do so in open areas than in the confined stone hallways. But now, he was running at his top speed. He didn't apologize when he pushed past some of Gummadoon's citizens but he could feel their startled and worried expressions on his back. He was well known for being one of the more polite of the knights, amazingly. He supposed he had Plucki and Grammi to thank for that. Normally, he would have dreaded the thought of accidently knocking someone down and more so than that, he dreaded having people worry about him.
But…he had no time to explain right now.
Getting to the stairs, he leapt over the railing, not something recommended (plus punishable by the Captain Ramsus, regardless of age of the transgressor and while he and Cubbi had bonded some over the years, he was hardly one to play favorites) but at the moment, he didn't care. He bent his legs as he landed and tore off out into the courtyard. His feet screamed at him from the abuse he was putting them through, in particular the long fall. It was a good floor or floor and half to the level he had jumped from but he ignored the throbbing that pulsed through his boots.
The rain was starting to pour, but at least it wasn't snow. They had their fair share of snow so far this winter so it was nice to not have any more piling on the ground. His fur was sopping wet before too long though as he pushed his way through the front doors, leaving them swaying in the wind as several of the others behind him rushed to close them to prevent the rain from entering. They did not call after him, recognizing as only gummies tended to, of the horror embedded on his face. His eyes were focused and there was little his ears heard right now. He pushed past the main entry courtyard, his feet slamming against stone. Several of the guard knights on the towers blinked at the sight and calling against the howling wind, demanded,
"Sir Cubbi! What's wrong?"
Cubbi ignored their cries but not out of malice. His heart was beating like a caged bird in his chest as he leapt over the fences that separated the fields from the stables. It was wet with the rain and his boots sank deep into the mud, caking his shoes up to his ankles. The stables were a ways away from the castle, primarily to spare the citizens some of the smells that just naturally came with having animals. Normally, Cubbi was respectful of it but now, each step seemed to take forever and he cursed whatever architect had the idea of separating the stables from the rest of the courtyard. Each step was taking forever and each footfall sank like a ton of stones. He finally raised his ears against the howling wind, wincing at the icy wind chill but he was rewarded by the sound of adult and child voices.
He saw Toni right where he thought he would be. Commanding a handful of cubs, each one dirty with the day's work, but each beaming from ear to ear as they made their way in the opposite direction that Cubbi was headed, was one of his dearest gummi brothers. With the day done, Sir Toni was ushering in the last of the squires, with the command to go get a bath. There were a few whined protests but each cub obeyed nonetheless. They respected their mentors, just as their mentors before them had done.
The Gummadoon squires had become knights of their own and had begun the tradition all over again. Toni had three squires of his own, two of which he was currently overseeing while Corvi had one, Flynn had four(something Blastus had shook his head at but laughed and allowed it)and the pages had taken on squires of their own as well. Granted, they were knights now but to that group, they would forever be pages, much like the foursome of knights would forever be cubs and squires to the three commanding knights of Gummadoon.
Time had changed ranks and levels: Gummies had different levels than humans, with the rank going: Marshal, General, Colonel, Captain, and Lieutenant. Everything under that was soldier and divided by color rank. Cubbi and his three comrades were a rarity: entering knighthood at the blue level, the highest level. As a result, they were tearing through the ranks faster than ever seen. Plucki said that it was their raw talent that did that, nothing else. Plucki had become Marshal Plucki just over a year ago, which basically put him in command of every single gummi army that they possessed, when the time came for them to unit together. Barbics were excused, mainly because they still kept to themselves and they didn't use the same system, though they were certainly welcome to call upon them if they needed them. Personally, Cubbi believed it was because they did not want the political mess of being an official ally. They had leanred to accept some humans but they still avoided them readily. It made more political sense for them to stay fairly neutral ground.
Gumlittle, while still Plucki's second in command, was also General and Blastus was as well. Blastus was third in command, if they needed it. So far, they had only needed that lineage once. They still tended to call Plucki Captain, out of force of habit, and the elder gummi just laughed at it. Gummies did not put a lot of weight in their ranks. Cubbi had become a Lieutenant six months ago and while it had been exciting (as he was the first of the group of four to reach a rank, though Toni was not far behind) he did not feel any different. His only major change was that he told Plucki he felt ready to take on squires of his own. Plucki had beamed, hugged him and said he had some just in mind. The fact that Plucki felt such confidence in him had made him swell with pride.
Cubbi had two squires right now. It was quite the challenge, because he had to balance his squires and his own children. Luckily, all his children had grown by this point; that was one reason he had waited to take on squires. All his children had started their own lives and embraced the two young squires as their siblings. He had sent his squires to help out in the kitchen right at the moment, with one of his grown daughters, and Toni was exactly who he needed to see. Over the past few years, only about a decade short of a century actually, Cubbi and Toni had grown as close as any blood brothers. He had never needed him as much as he did right now and seeing his cheery face made him feel not quite as cold but he was sure the fear crept into his voice just the same.
"Toni!"
The blue furred bear turned, laughing initially still from one of the cub's antics as they rushed off but then his face froze upon seeing his best friend's expression. "Cub? What's wrong?"
Normally, he would have protested that horrible nickname but not now. He had other things on his mind. Things he did not want to think about but was unable to stop. He had been unable to stop thinking about it ever since that messenger from Dunwyn had arrived with an urgent message for him. They had been a small boy, a page but had arrived quickly and been blunt and firm about their message for which Cubbi was eternally grateful. Seconds mattered! "Sorry to dump this on you, Toni but can you take my squires for tonight? Please?"
His voice was nearly begging.
Without missing a beat, Toni nodded "Of course, but what's going on?" He could tell by Cubbi's expression, his tense body language, the way he was struggling to keep his voice steady, that something extremely important was happening but he could also tell by the way Cubbi had already darted past him, aiming for his stallion stable that time was not his ally. Cubbi did not even both to grab the saddle but threw the door open, swinging his leg over the unicorn's back as is. He ignored the use of a bridle and reins, just grasping hard into the white unicorn's mane.
Despite his rush, Cubbi replied, "Cavin." He owed Toni that much.
The blue furred bear winced and took a hold of his best friend's arm, squeezing tightly, even as he tried to untie the rope that held the stallion in the stall. "What's the news, Cubbi?"
"Tonight might..." Cubbi didn't finish. He couldn't finish. He didn't WANT to finish. The page had been very detailed. Cavin had been sick for a long time, he knew that. It had gotten worse in the last month but despite being weaker, and eating less, he was still cheery and had even managed to visit Gummadoon about two weeks ago. He had not eaten much, said his appetite had been poor lately but he had still managed a good conversation, a good game but apparently in the last few hours, he had taken a true downslide. They…were unsure about his recovery.
Though he did not voice his fear, a close friend needed no words to see it. Such was the case as Toni reached up and pulled him close for a tight hug and said, "Go then. I'll take care of things here. Did you tell Plucki?'
"Not yet. I don't know how bad off he is." Cubbi responded, as he urged his steed out of the stable and toward the barn doors. He had wanted to tell Plucki, as the gummi was pretty much an unspoken father, "I don't want to get everyone all excited over what might be a false alarm." There had been a few of those in the past year or so and Cubbi had lost track of the number of times he had rushed off to Dunwyn. His squires were pretty understanding about it, all things considered. Plucki had not said anything about it and even Sir Ramsei had been silent about his absences. Still, all the same, he wanted them to only worry if they needed to worry. He…could not focus very well right now…
Toni accepted this explanation and nodded, "You'll keep us updated, right?" he stressed this. He knew what a fragile state the former king of Dunwyn was in. Everyone knew. They all dared not say it but they all knew the inevitable could only be delayed for so long, despite how one desired otherwise. Queen Mother Calla's death had shown them that firm and clear. Sir Cubbi had been broken up over that one but Toni knew, as did everyone else, that Cavin was the gummi's brother in everything but blood. Toni wanted to stay on top of things. He wanted to lend his shoulder the moment it was needed so he locked eyes with Cubbi, empathizing that.
The pink knight nodded in understanding and also appreciation at the sincerity in his friend's eyes as well as his request to remain updated. "They have messengers all over the place. I'll send one as soon as I know anything important." He hoped he could hold himself to that but right now, he was too worried about getting to Dunwyn to care very much, one way or another. He knew Toni and the others deserved to remain in the loop, as they were deeply interwoven with the human lives of Dunwyn; had been ever since Cavin and Calla created that first alliance all those years ago, but right now, he just wanted to get there and get there quickly.
Running ahead, Sir Toni pushed open the barn doors, Cubbi pulled firm on the unicorn's mane, urging it forward with a kick to the ribs. Toni handed him a cloak, which Cubbi wrapped over himself and tied tightly. With a nod to his friend, Toni gave a firm slap on the stallion's rear, saying "Gum's speed."
The stallion was vanished from sight and into the steadily increasing rain before the gates completely closed.
OOOOO
Cubbi tore up the stone steps, a path he had followed a great many times in the past few weeks. It was an eerie reminder of last time…so short a time ago. Queen Mother Calla(she had passed her crown to their daughter a good twenty years earlier) had fallen ill and never recovered. At 98 years of age, unheard of among humans, she had left her earthly form peacefully, surrounded by her friends, husband and children. It had been a difficult time, nearly rendering Sunni an incoherent wreck for a few months and even he had taken some time away from his duties. It was hard enough losing a friend, losing one as dear and who had been around as long as Calla had was something else altogether. Cubbi had been six when he met Calla. When she had left this earth, she had been a member of his family for 88 years. That was not a wound easily healed.
Now, Cavin seemed to be following her steps. Cubbi had known it was coming, or at least, he should have known; Calla's death had struck that chord deep. But it seemed like it was not right. Cavin had just had his birthday in May: 100 years. Plucki had told Cubbi that such an age among humans was nothing short of a miracle but the kingdom of Dunwyn had embraced a great many gummi inventions, including hygiene, health and diet knowledge. It had improved the kingdom beyond measure: Cavin and Calla's rank had become High King and High Queen before they turned 30. Their life expectancy had nearly tripled in a few short decades. Cubbi had taken that lightly and despite his fellow gummies trying to remind him, every so often, that Cavin was human, not gummi and thus not blessed with their abnormally long lifespans (a result of both nature, medicine, and being such natural mystical creatures) but Cubbi had never focused on it for long. Now, though, with the results of a month long illness slapping him right in the face, Cubbi could turn a blind eye no longer.
Time was finally catching up with the former King of Dunwyn. Over the past ten years, Cavin had gotten slower, he had not been able to climb and run like they used to. However, Cubbi had shrugged it off and they had adapted, taking to playing games or talking in the main halls of either the Dunwyn Palace or the Gummadoon Halls. Cavin was still a decent shot with a spear so up until five years ago, they had done that. When his body failed him at that, they would exchange stories or play with Cavin's grand and great-grandchildren. No matter what physical disability presented itself, Cubbi had shrugged it off, again, and he and Cavin found a loophole to it. That was how they had always been: never confined by limitations.
Cubbi stayed thoroughly involved in Cavin and Calla's lives. He had been there when Cassandra, the current queen was born, as well as her brother Prince Gregory. He had been there when Cassandra had Wesley and when Wesley had married Regina. He had been there when Prince Lucas was born to Wesley. He had stood firm and proud up with Cavin when Princess Dawn had taken a vow to Prince Lucas, not more than two months prior! That was just the direct line! He was involved with Gregory and his grandchildren, all ten of them! He was "Uncle Cubbi" to all of them, just like Sunni was "Aunt Sunni." He was as much family to them as any blood relative. They had welcomed the additions to their lives and it had only grown with each passing year.
Likewise, Cavin and Calla made a point to make themselves a strong point in Cubbi and his other gummi family member's lives. Cavin and Calla had been there when he was knighted. Cavin had stood by his side when he took his vow to Tavi. Cavin had been the first one who had known of Tavi's first pregnancy and he had run from a diplomatic meeting when he learned Cubbi's cubs were being born: all six of them. When there had been talk of wars, namely between fey and gummi, Cavin and Calla had been on the front lines to assist them. They were interwoven in one another's lives, like the strands of fiber on a rope. Nothing could happen in one of their lives without touching and affecting the others. The death of Calla had proved that immensely; the ripples of her passing had flooded the kingdom, both human and gummi alike. Silence had reigned in great Gummi halls as they mourned truly one of their closest friends.
Cubbi remembered how she had looked before she died, so pale and small. Cavin had slowly begun to resemble her. He had seen it, though he had denied it. The way he was eating less, the way he would get cold so much easier, the way he was withdrawing a bit. It was unlike Cavin but Cubbi had dismissed it again, looking at as the side effect of an illness like a cold or flu. Over the years, the humans of Dunwyn had slowly worked their immunity up and the former King had been exposed to his share of illnesses. In his desperation, Cubbi had slipped into denial, using it to cloud his eyes to what time, inevitably, stole from all but took from his dearest friend sooner than he desired.
As he rounded the last corner and onto the top floor, he saw several of his "nieces and nephews" gathered outside the royal chamber door as he came up. Lucas approached him and hugged him tightly, though his entire body was shaking. His bright blond hair, so much like his late great-grandmother's trailing into his eyes. His eyes, which were so much like Cavin's burning like brown droplets of paint in a white canvas. "Thanks for coming, Uncle." His normally strong voice was wavy, vibrating.
Cubbi just gave a forced smile. "How could I do otherwise?" He meant every word of that. Cavin was his brother. If he called, he came.
Glancing around the aged Queen Cassandra approached him and knelt to his side. Her skin had turned pale and wrinkled over the years and her once vibrant brown hair now was tinged with grey. Her bright brown eyes, mirrors of her father's, were wet with shed and unshed tears. Dried tear marks were rough on her cheeks. When she spoke, she tried to keep her voice steady but she failed miserably. "Daddy said he wanted to see you alone. We've..." She looked at the group and took a heavy breath, closing her eyes tightly. "We've said our last thoughts to him." It was quite evident that she did not dare speak anything else; she had lost her mother not a few months before and now her father was following but as Queen, she was expected to stay strong. Not for the first time, she damned that. However, if her children, her grandchildren...she would not break, for their sake.
And for her uncle's…
Cubbi's breath caught in his chest, making it very hard to breathe. Last thoughts…no, no, NO! No, he refused to believe it! 100 years was barely anything! It was a blink of an eye! It went so fast! No...he refused. He would not, he could not! How dare they—
Cassandra knelt down and looked at her uncle, her godfather, with her father's eyes. They held the same delicate emotional connection that he and Cavin shared. "He's been holding on for you, Uncle."
Cubbi felt a surge of anger in his heart. Holding on? No, he didn't believe it. He would NOT believe it.
"Cubbi..."
The pink furred bear turned at the sound of his name as the door to the bed chamber opened and Sunni emerged, her eyes red with tears. She had her head bowed, her braided hair falling over her shoulder. She walked silently, her hands hiding much of her face. He didn't need to see it to know she had tears burning down her cheeks. She had come alone, her husband Buddi had stayed at home though he had sent his condolescnes Cubbi was sure. Buddi had become close to Cavin over the years but it did not hold a candle to the relationship Sunni had developed; it had been out of respect he let her come alone.
Sunni said nothing; there was nothing to be said. Grammi and Zummi, aged but still kicking, followed. Grammi was leaning into Zummi's side. Despite their older age, they were gummies. Gummies lived a long time. Zummi was aged, getting slower but he had a lot more time than their human friend. It was the emotional weight crushing them both down more than anything physical. Grammi was crying visibly; she had never been one to hide her emotions and this was no exception. Her eyes were puffy and red. Zummi was trying to stay strong for her but he was failing as he had his own eyes clouded over with tears. Gusto followed not long after, usually so jovial and full of energy, he was distraught and downcast. It was alien seeing Gusto like that; after all, the gummi was usually known for having boundless energy and that had only remained the same over the decades. He had done many a portrait of his human and gummi family, always with that same enthusiasm that mirrored his name. Now though, his cheeks were wet, his eyes clouded and listless, drained of their zest.
Finally, after a good additional minute or two, Gruffi came out.
He was crying.
Cubbi had never seen him cry. Not...not openly. He had wept when Calla died but he had not openly shown it, he had hidden it, coming from her chambers with a stoic face and swiftly rushing to the Quicktunnels and the solitude of the caverns to weep but he emerged now with streaks on his face and reddened eyes. Fresh droplets were following a well-beaten path down the brown fur. It unnerved Cubbi as much as any war crime would have and the sight also punched reality into his face as fiercely as any physical blow.
No, if they were ALL here then...
Grammi approached and placed her hands on the sides of his face, saying, "Go on, sweetie." Her voice broke visibly and while she did not try to stop her tears, she managed a light smile through them, trying to maintain her comforting nature even when she was in dire need of comfort herself. That was her nature, always had been. She cast an aside glance to Gruffi who quickly turned his head away as he trudged off, disappearing down the hallway. Much as Gruffi liked to pretend otherwise, Cavin and Calla had come to mean as much to him as if they were his own cubs. Gruffi saw, just as the others had seen, that the sand in Cavin's hourglass was nearly dissipated and there was nothing they could do to change that. As powerful as gummi magic was and as well versed as they were in medicine, no one could stop the trek of time and that was what ailed Cavin, nothing else.
What good did it do him to pretend anymore?
Taking a deep breath, forcing his head up, Cubbi stepped past Grammi and his like gathered kin, into the room and closed the door.
OOOOO
Cavin looked older, no doubt but Cubbi had always seen the same sensitive, active and bright eyed man who had been his friend for almost 90 years. Cubbi was young by Gummi Standards, a few years short of 100. To gummies, 100 years was not even really considered "adult-adult" yet. More like an aged teenager. It was a side effect of being so long lived; there were gummies who had lived to ten centuries, though that was certainly considered a blessed old age. It was rare to see someone pass on before nine hundred years. When he had been younger, he had not truly understood the ramifications of such a long lifespan; it had just been the way it was.
But for humans, it was an entirely different story. When Cavin had hit 60, the kingdom of Dunwyn had been stunned. When he hit 80, they had whispered he had truly been blessed by God. In May, when he hit 100, they had murmured that he and his wife must have been Saints of the Lord. Cubbi and Cavin had laughed about it and Cavin had just remarked it was wonders of knowing real medicine and nothing less. Cubbi personally thought that Cavin and Calla's strong and determined personas had been a major contributing factor but had opted to laugh along with his dear friend instead of argue the matter.
Now though, he could not even muster a smile, seeing Cavin lying so still in that large bed.
He looked so frail, so weak.
It made Cubbi's knees shake. He took a step closer and crawled up onto the covers, approaching the steadily breathing form at the top of the bed. Aged, wrinkled skin, decorated with all manner of age spots and bruises. A face, shrunken in and hollow. Arms, once wide and broad with muscles sharpened by battle, laid limp under the covers, the strength fled from them. Cavin looked peaceful, his eyes closed, but each breath, though steady, seemed to draw even more strength from his brittle frame.
Taking a deep breath, he dared, "C-Cavin?"
The human man opened his familiar chocolate brown eyes and smiled brightly "Hey, Cubbi." Though his voice shook and there was little strength in his words, the energy and gusto he had always possessed still gazed at Cubbi from those eyes. It was a small comfort.
Cubbi grasped his friend's old hand, squeezing tightly, though he relinquished his grip when he heard the bones give a little bit under his grip. How had all that strength slipped away from his friend? He remembered the young man who had lifted him up as they had scaled the mountains of Ursalia's entire mountain range together, much to the distress of their distraught family members (only time Cubbi remembered seeing Sir Gawain angry and Sir Plucki had been livid and it was best not to think about Grammi's reaction) Where was the brave king who fought by Cubbi's side in all manner of conflict and still managed to party away in the celebration with the youngest of them?
"How are you doin'?" he finally found his voice, though he didn't really want to know the answer.
Cavin smiled "I'm tired." came the king's honest response.
Cubbi tightened his grip as if that would keep him anchored. He never thought hearing "I'm tired" would drive such an icy cold fear through his heart.
Cavin reached up and laid a shaky wrinkled hand on his friend's trembling face. He doubted Cubbi even realized he was shaking or that his eyes were growing wet nor how wide with fear they were. They were all subtle changes that only someone who knew him inside out would notice. Cavin was one of those. "It's okay, Cubbi..." he tried to reassure his gummi comrade.
"No." Cubbi whispered, suddenly feeling like a little child again. "No, it's not okay." He locked eyes with his oldest friend "It isn't okay. You're supposed to be strong again, you're supposed to get better and get out there and play with your great grandkids' kids." He spoke this almost with an infantile pout. He didn't care what he looked like right now. He was saying what was simple fact. This wasn't fair. Cavin, if no one else, had EARNED a longer life, had EARNED his health, had EARNED the right to get out of that bed and run right back out into the world!
Cavin smirked at the faint whine from his grown but still younger gummi friend, "You know same as I do that you only get so much time. You gummies are the ones that taught me how to make the most of it." Truer words had never been spoken. They had truly shown him what life could be and why it was worth preserving and fighting for. He and his wife had strived each day to pound that into their descendants' hearts and they never lost sight of it. Even as old age crept over his heart, he was comforted by the fact that he had filled each moment he had been blessed with as best he was capable of.
"But...you're supposed to have more time!" Cubbi uttered in protest and squeezed his friend's hand again, trying to will some of his strength into those failing muscles. In response, his friend lifted his other hand and put it on top of Cubbi's squeezing tightly.
"I've had a lot more time than most humans get, Cubbi" Cavin told him simply. He paused to take a shaky breath. "You knew this was coming." Knew but didn't admit it perhaos but Cavin was no fool. Cubbi was a lot smarter than most people gave him credit for. Cubbi had known, even if it was just subconsciously…
"I hate it!" Cubbi protested. "I hate it! This isn't right. You should get more time..."
Cavin smiled. "I'd say I lived them as full as I could." He took another breath and grasped a glass of water at his bedside, swallowing. "I'm happy for what I had."
A few tears were starting to slip out of Cubbi's eyes, despite his attempts to stop them. Cavin reached up and rubbed them away with an aged thumb. "I married and stayed married to a beautiful girl, more than I deserved, for 85 years. I've had tons of friends and family, some blood, most not. I've had kids, grand kids, great grand kids and seen an alliance between our groups grow every year." Cavin sat up a bit and hugged his old friend. That took more out of him than he cared to admit and as he laid back on the bed, taking in a sharp breath, he thought long and hard. Their time together should not be arguing the basic facts of destiny but rather focused on something much more pleasant and close to the heart. Drawing back on one of their oldest adventures, decades ago but still crystal clear to his mind, he asked, "Cubbi, do you remember what I told you after the ogre fiasco?"
Cubbi remembered that adventure. Though hardly one of their earliest adventures, it was one that still burned strong as fire in his memory. A spell and kidnap plan gone awry nearly made Cavin an ogre forever. Truth be told, he never truly forgave himself for doubting his friend, even for a moment. He recalled the adventure several times, just as reminder over the decades of how loyalty, true loyalty, did not dull over the years, only ripened and expanded. Cavin and Calla's choices as rulers had proven that fact time and time again.
He eyed his friend and replied "Sure, you said how many ogres have gummi bears for best friends?"
Cavin forced himself up to his elbows, realizing all too quickly that this would most likely be the last time he would move, clutched his dear friend and pulled him tightly into his chest, breathing, "Let me amend that: how many humans have gummi bears for _brothers_?"
Cubbi broke.
OOOOO
Young Dauki, one of Toni's squires rushed his mentor at early morning "Sir Toni..."
The Gummadoon knight greeted the boy with a grin, always full of energy that one. He reminded him a lot of himself to be perfectly candid. "What's up, sport?" he asked, using one of Gumlittle's old nicknames for him. "You're up early."
"I saw Sir Cubbi's unicorn coming back. He's coming back!" The cub's voice bubbled with excitement; while Toni was his trainer, all the cubs loved Sir Cubbi, he was tons of fun!
Toni bit his lip. Cubbi had been gone all night. Toni had told Plucki what was going on, simply so the knight would not worry. Plucki and Cubbi had a very father-son relationship, much like he and Gumlittle had. He would worry if Cubbi was just "missing" from dinner without word. Plucki had been grateful and told him to let him know of any development. Toni had assured him that Cubbi had promised to keep him updated but as the night had slipped away with no word, Toni had been forced to address why. He was no idiot; if no time had been taken to send word, it was hardly good news.
He was hardly the one to tarnish a cub's enthusiasm though.
"Okay, kiddo. Let
me get some of the others and we'll go see him, okay?"
The cub vanished out the door at the mention. Toni followed but not before venturing down a side hallway, calling for Plucki, Gumlittle and Blastus.
Walking into the halls of Gummadoon, Cubbi was not expecting to see the squires greeting him though he supposed he should have expected it. They rushed him with grins and he took their hugs without much response. He felt so numb, like he would never feel anything again. His eyes were still red with shed tears and his face looked a mess of ruffled fur and wet matted flesh, from both tears and weather. He tried not to meet their faces; they would question and he did not feel like explaining it to small children. He didn't feel like anything actually.
"Welcome back, Sir Cubbi."
Lifting his head up, Cubbi was surprised to see Sir Plucki standing there. No, not just Plucki...Toni and the others were there too. Toni locked eyes with him a long moment, his eyes reading Cubbi's just as easily as if Cubbi had announced his news with a loud gong. Cubbi was grateful for it though, for once. He didn't want to say anything, didn't trust himself to honestly.
Toni gave a knowing nod then rushed to the cubs, saying that he had a special surprise for them in the next room. Perked by curiosity, despite their desire to see one of their favorite other knights, they followed the young knight out of the main hall. Cubbi unconsciously let out a breath he had been holding, grateful for the silence that followed their departure.
As the door closed behind them, Plucki spoke again, "Cubbi...son..."
Turning his attention back to the older gummi, Cubbi blinked away unshed tears. He tried to at any event but they lingered. He could barely see anything. Truth be told, his entire ride back had been based entirely on luck and his steed knowing his way home. He had laid his head into the unicorn's mane for most of the trip and while he did not openly weep, he had laid there, tears making his vision so wet and blurred that he might as well have been blind. That was truly how he felt now. He had managed to gain control of himself as he walked into Gummadoon's walls but he had been losing control of it bit by bit, with each step he took.
The squires greeting him had been a major breaker. It just reminded him of how many times he had rushed his best friend, eyes shining, arms wide open. Even after Cavin became king, he was always making time for him. He still knelt down to his level so they could embrace, cheek by cheek. As Cubbi had grown older, he had to bend over less, as Cubbi did get taller but the human ruler had always dropped to his knees to clutch him tightly. He remembered the strength of that embrace, the ultimate trust embodied in a simple embrace.
After Cubbi had been knighted as Sir Cubbi of Gummadoon, Cavin had been quick to congratulate his friend and, in a display of ultimate trust and loyalty, had dubbed him an equal knight of Dunwyn, though with the understanding that Gummadoon would come first. Cavin told Cubbi he wanted to do it to demonstrate that regardless of their difference of race, there was a bond between them that he wanted people to understand that nothing could tarnish. Cubbi was a unique case; no other knights had titles in two cities. Sir Plucki had told Cubbi later that such a bold political action had been risky and that Cavin truly must have felt great affection and love for him.
Truthfully, Cubbi had not realized how deep it went until now, with the realization that last night was the last embrace he would receive from his best friend, his brother. That those last few whispered words would be the last gentle laugh they would share. That lying awake, silent, just enjoying one another's company was now a permanent past activity, never to be enjoyed again. Cubbi had focused on Cavin's face the entire time he was there, though it killed him to see the light slowly fade away from those bright eyes. He wanted to memorize them, every angle, every flash of life, every movement they made. He wanted to burn their laughing expression into his memory.
Grammi and Zummi had told him and the others as they grew older to never lose sight of the younger days because they grew dull with time. It was an unwanted fact but a fact nonetheless. It was always the other senses that went first: how something felt, how it had tasted, how it had sounded. Smell and sight stayed the longest but even those were destroyed with the passage of time. Grammi had stressed keeping the emotion of a memory locked in your heart because time had no authority there. Cubbi had laughed her off then, said that if something was important to him, it would forever stay sharp and clear. With a sad smile, she had said, "Well, I certainly hope so, sweetie. Fight for it and perhaps it will."
Maybe it was not just the loss of his dearest friend that was destroying his heart right now that squeezed his soul so tight he felt for sure every single organ in his body was burning, tensed and wanting to bleed. It was the knowledge that Cubbi was now faced with the reality that he had no way to replenish those memories any longer. Those last few hours, those beautiful and treasured minutes were the last new experiences with the former King of Dunwyn that he would ever have. Having raised children of his own now, Cubbi had learned a long time ago that Grammi was right. Memories faded. The emotional strength stayed but if you were not diligent, they faded away.
He did not want to forget.
He would NOT forget! He could not!
"Cubbi…"
The young knight jerked back to present with the touch of a strong hand on his shoulder. Blinking once, he could not stop a few tears from peeking about his eyelids. He lifted his face to lock eyes with the Gummadoon leader, the gummi, who along with Gruffi, had served as his father for all these years and the gummi he still would run to, could tell anything to. Warm cinnamon eyes gazed into his knowingly, offering their silent comfort and understanding. Cubbi took a heavy breath, trying to steady his voice, but to no avail. It still cracked, it shook, it threatened to dissolve into a mess of pain that only those who had had their very foundation torn from them could understand: "P-pLu-ckki"
Sir Plucki said nothing else. He did not comment on the tears that were making silent rivers down the knight's pink fur, nor the way his entire body was shaking, slowly but noticeably. He kept quiet, not offering any words but opened his arms up.
With an unashamed cry, Cubbi flung himself into Plucki's arms, face buried in his chest and he sobbed.
OOOOO
Opening his eyes, Cubbi gave a small smile. Standing up, he brushed the dirt off his knees and rubbed off some of the cold the snow had pounded into them. The soft flakes of snow had started to fall again and that certainly explained the cold in his ears. In fact, Sir Toni and the others had advised him against going out today, given the harsh weather. Plucki had not said a word, simply turned another page in his book by the fire, finally breaking his silence to remind Cubbi to grab his cloak before he went out.
Such had become a ritual for the past three hundred years. Cubbi would always go out in the early morning, regardless of the weather, on December 15th. That day had forever become burned into his mind, when three hundred years ago to this day, he had said his final farewell to his human brother Cavin. It had started as a means for him to cope with the man's death and he had been encouraged by Plucki. Apparently, Plucki still took the day of his wife and son's deaths to himself, often visiting their graves and taking time to just be with them.
Cubbi had taken up his foster father's method and it had stuck. Every December 15th, Cubbi would put his other duties on hold and venture out to his oldest friend's grave to pay his respects. He usually found some flowers of some sort on the grave, as well as some carvings on occasions, wooden mementos. Though he never outwardly said it, Cubbi was fairly certain his other father figure, Gruffi, was leaving them as his way of paying respects. The others rarely stayed long though, not like he did.
Pulling his cloak over his ears as the wind nipped at them, Cubbi took a step back, looking over his best friend's final resting spot.
It had been chosen when Queen Mother Calla had passed away and the gummies and humans could hardly think of a better spot. Originally, it had been a patch of ground, in a wide open field, underneath a low rise plateau. Above it, the Lorath Woods rose and all around it, the edges of the trees gave way to the plains. It was here, underneath this small cliff where Cavin had originally met them all. It seemed a suitable final spot. After Queen Mother Calla had been buried here, the gummies had erected a natural barrier around it, in the form of gummiberry bushes. These particular bushes, while always tended to, were never used as means of supporting the gummiberry harvest. Berries grew free and wild and were tended to maintain them but they were not used as a food source. It was their beauty, their significance that was so intensely present:
Gummiberries gave gummies nearly everything that dictated their culture: tradition, food, and defense. Among gummi clans, except perhaps the Barbic clans, the preservation of the gummi berry bushes was a top priority and tending to them was considered a truly revered activity. To share them with humans, even with all the strong alliances they had generated, was something to be truly respected. The bushes formed something of a small garden entryway. Originally, they had formed a very small enclosed area but as Cavin and Calla's descendants continued to honor the strong friendship their parents had begun, the area had expanded until now it easily covered a small courtyard's span.
Cubbi shifted his feet and stepped forward, rubbing the top of the grave marker of his dearest friend, with a gentle smile. Gusto had carved the stone himself. It was easily the best carving he had ever done, though it was the only art piece he did not draw attention to. Usually, he welcomed criticism of his works, as his wild energetic attitude rarely let him work on any less than five works at once. Cavin's marble gravestone and his wife's matching one, were the only pieces that Gusto had abandoned all other art pieces to finish. Cubbi had gone to visit him in the following days of Cavin's death, to find him carving on the marble, his cheeks wet with tears and his hands shaking. An untouched piece of marble, meant to be the partner to his current one had been perched up against the wall.
Cubbi shifrted his eyes downward: Gusto's hard work had not been for naught. The carvings of gummies and humans, of all manner of plants decorated the edges of the fine marble. On the left side the gummi had carved an elaborate replica of Cavin's blade and it was this blade that connected his stone to Calla's. All in all, Cubbi estimated Gusto had put almost a year's worth of work into these pieces but had somehow squeezed all that effort into three weeks. Gusto had looked exhausted when they had presented his artwork to Queen Cassandra and she had smiled, so brightly, despite her pain and thanked him with a strong embrace.
Tears threatening his eyes again, Cubbi's sights drifted to the fancy carving into the stone; the gummies had made sure that all dates were firm and all acknowledgements were shown without doubt:
Cavin
May 1 1359-December 15, 1459
High King of England
Courageous Knight
Beloved Husband, Honored Father, Blessed Grandfather
Priceless Friend and Brother
Trailing his fingers down the carved letters, Cubbi stopped above the small etching that had been added magically by gummi magic. It was always shining a bright golden color, with a white hue surrounding it, not unlike all the magical spells written in the Great Book. In fact, it was Zummi who had cast it into the stone, with all the Glen standing at his side, heads bowed in respect. It was short, sweet and to the point but spoke so many volumes:
"A man of the utmost soul and spirit, his heart knew no judgment, only hope and faith. Thank you, dear brother, for helping us remember what trust is."
Letting his hand trace over the connection of stone that was the sword hilt, his fingers trained down Calla's etching with just as much emotion:
Calla
May 16, 1360-May 22 1459
High Queen of England
Merciful Monarch
Treasured Wife, Revered Mother, Adored Grandmother
Dearest Friend and Sister
And, much like her husband's, below that was the same golden colored text, forever shimmering in the light:
"A woman with the strength of ten, and a heart of only friendship, love and valor. Our gratitude, dear sister, for reminding us that loyalty has not died"
Cubbi turned his eyes away and shifted them sideways. Three hundred years had an amazing impact, especially among humans, he realized abruptly as he looked over the growth of this small sacred place. He saw the final resting place of Cassandra, of Gregory, of their children, of their children's children…all having lived their lives as strong and long as they could. Cubbi could easily rattle off all their names, all their hobbies, all their loves, all their fears. He refused to lose connection with them. As it stood, the current Queen of Dunwyn, Queen Rebecca, was Cavin and Calla's thirteenth-great grandchild. She had taken the throne last year, at twenty-four years of age. She was also VERY pregnant with her first child. The gummi medics surmised that she would have her child before the year's end, so any day now. In the meantime, she was content with the children of her sister, Princess Primrose, who despite being younger had already had two children, with a third on the way.
Amazing how many things had happened, from just two people…two people who were still so dear to his heart, even with them three hundred years gone already. Cubbi never lost sight of what they had gifted him, gifted his race with. Peace that they had used to just dream about had been reality for centuries. Gummi and human children trotted about with one another like a long standing distrust and broken alliance had never been. Each new ruler that took Dunwyn's throne proved all too well the influence that one person's teaching could have. They maintained a strong loyalty towards justice, tolerance and all in all, in friendship. Each ruler of Dunwyn had somehow acquired a strong friendship with the gummies, usually with one of his or Sunni's descendants. It was a bit interesting actually. Case in point, Queen Rebecca considered her closest confidant to be Magihistorian Stari, who was descendant from Sunni's second child. Both he and Sunni never lost contact with the people of Dunwyn. They remained intertwined within their lives, though it took Cubbi some time to push on after Cavin's death.
He finally pulled himself out of his sadness and resumed his life, a great deal of which had always involved Cavin's family and he was not about to change that.
He allowed himself one more second to gaze over the small homage to his oldest friends. From Cavin, a chance meeting and a risk for his entire clan led to the dearest friendship he had ever been blessed with. Cavin led way to Calla. Calla gave way to the alliance with Dunwyn. Her friendship with Sunni led to her eventual pursuit of Cavin, despite his self-confidence being so low. Her relentlessness eventually gave way to their marriage, their marriage gave way to Cavin discovering his roots.
Cubbi chuckled a bit, "What a surprise that was, eh, Cav? Your gramps actually being _the_ Sir Gawain? You know, Arthur's right hand knight?"
The explanation of his and Cavin's origins led to Cavin taking up his birthright, as Arthur's sole heir, as he took his spot next to Calla, King of Dunwyn. He and Cavin's quest to retrieve a gift his Grandfather said was left for him, only to discover the mythical sword of Excalibur and the knowledge that gummies had blessed Camelot magically, which had led to all its majestic weather, crops, and peace. The realization that when Cavin and Calla were coronated that the gift of those ancient gummies revived itself, having been waiting patiently for two rulers that embraced the morals Arthur had strived for. All this had been started with Calla and Sunni and himself and Cavin and the strong bond they formed.
Their friendship with the gummies led to their acquisition of many gummi ways, inventions and medicines, extending both their lifespan and their empire exponentially. By the time they each were thirty, they held the revered title of High King and High Queen, with almost all of England under their rule. This empire endured and currently still held firm; art, wisdom and learning flourishing with each new generation. Cavin and Calla's children: Cassandra and Gregory, then their grandchildren: Wesley and Summer from Cassandra, Jenna and Gregor the Second from Gregory, their great-grandchildren: Lucas, Matthew, Amber, Amelia, Tiffany, their great-great grandchildren: Hannah, Amanda, Zelena, Johnathan, Mark, Brian, Rodrick, and so many others more. Cubbi could recall each one of them and made his mark in each of their lives. Nine generations going strong…
Nine generations…in the blink of an eye for him.
With a tenth forthcoming.
He had seen so many of them grow old and die, so much like Cavin and Calla had. It never got easier. Though, he had to admit, as much as he loved Cavin and Calla's children, great-grandchildren and generations onward, none of them had achieved the same lock on his heart that Cavin had. It was a simple fact of life but he would not let such a thing bother him. Though being so close to humans caused him intensive pain, at least three times a century when one generation would pass on, it also caused him astronomical joy, seeing a new life spring forth, carrying with it the spirit of his oldest friend. He kept his focus on that and treasured each moment, each new memory made.
Shivering at bit from the weather as it blew a bit harder, Cubbi was finally satisfied, as he turned from the familiar refuge, walking down the old familiar paths within the trees. He walked slowly, his eyes focused ahead as woods gave way to the stone and wooden walls of Duwnyn's castle. It was late but the knights of Gummadoon would gladly cover his duties a few more hours, especially on this day. He walked across the drawbridge, taking comfort in the feel of the old wood under his feet. It had been repaired many a time over the years but it still held that same scent he remembered from his childhood.
He remembered it. He still remembered it, could still recall the chattering of people, the smells of the courtyard and the all too familiar sound of his dearest friend, waving to him: "Cubbi"
"Sir Cubbi, welcome!"
He opened his eyes, gave a grin and a nod to the Dunwynian knights who saluted him in greeting. He kindly turned down the treats and hot tea an elderly woman offered him, instead heading right inside to the main hall. He was willing to take the treats occasionally but not today. He was far too occupied with his personal goal. As he usually did after visiting his old friend, he headed for Dunwyn and the line his friend had left behind.
He heard the crackle of the fire before he saw it, heard the laughter of young children before he saw them darting to and fro so when he entered the door quietly, he took in the sight, with a large grin passing his lips. He would have sprung forward when he was younger, tackling them but right now, he was content to watch, as quietly as only a highly trained knight could be.
Queen Rebecca, sitting by the fire, one hand on her ever growing belly as her younger sister took a sip of tea by her side and the children of the younger princess darting around, playing a game of chase as they darted around furniture, ducking under tables. The brown haired queen shook her head at her nephew and niece's antics but not without a large chuckle at their energy and a maternal smile at her swollen stomach. Her younger sister, Princess Primrose, pushed her short blond curls behind her ears but seeing they were not causing any harm, did not give call for the twosome to stop.
The elder of the two children but still only about six years old, darted around the nearby tapestry, his short blond hair trailing in his dark brown eyes. His younger sister, just as energetic, tied her brown hair back as she ran around the table and caught her brother as they nearly collided by the door. They skidded a bit but did not fall. The boy declared "Cheater, Josie! Cheater, cheater!"
The brown haired girl merely giggled "Nu uh, Bastian!"
Deciding he had watched long enough, Cubbi entered, saying "I dunno, I think that was a good try from both of you! Maybe you need a bigger playin' field"
The girl, Josie, turned and her eyes, near replicas of her ancestor's, brightened like stars, "Uncle Cubbi!" She declared before lunging at him, her brother following. Despite being younger, Sebastian was nearly just as big as Cubbi was but he simply braced himself, laughing aloud as the two knocked him to the ground with their embraces. He gave them a strong squeeze in response, ruffling Sebastian's blond hair as he sat up. Josie released him as she sat back on her knees, "Miss you!"
"Hey to you too!" the pink furred knight responded as he stood again, waving to Rebecca who was trying to stand, "I'll come there, 'Becca. I don't feel like delivering a baby today. Had my share of that last year!"
The queen giggled lightly as she sat again, greeting the gummi with a strong hug as he came over, "it's good to see you, Uncle."
"No baby yet though, eh?" Cubbi asked, sitting on the stone hearth, "I think it knows it's snowing out here."
Josie covered her mouth as her older brother stated, "But we wanna see our cousin soon!"
Cubbi smiled knowingly "You will. Don't rush so much."
Sebastian pouted as he eyed his mother, who gave a knowing grin "That's what Mama said you'd say. How do you do that?"
Cubbi took a small cake from the tray on the hearth and taking a bite, asked "Do what?"
"Wait!" Josie interrupted "Hard!"
Cubbi saw so much of himself and Cavin in her, her boundless energy, her desire to always be moving and knowing. Her appearance also echoed her ancestor so much. She had Cavin's appearance, his chocolate brown eyes and silky brown hair that tumbled down to her mid back. The light in her eyes though, that boundless energy and determinism was all Calla. Her longing to make a difference was completely Cavin's. Her itching to make a name for herself, to make people remember her name and to do good, all reflections of her ancestors.
Sebastian, with his golden locks, was a mirror of his great ancestor Calla. His strength, his boundless courage and commitment was all hers, and his heart that wanted to make a mark in the world, to thrive like his ancestors had, all were Cavin's. He showed some of Cavin's hesitation though he hid it with an air of confidence, so much like his grandmother. Much like both of his ancestors, his heart was centered on doing good, regardless of what form it took. He may have been young but he already showed so little interest in having to be the political leader; one reason he looked forward to his cousin's birth Cubbi was sure. Without an heir through Rebecca, it would fall to him and he had no desire for that.
Cubbi settled his eyes on theirs, on Sebastian's deep and intrigued ones and Josie's wide curious ones. They both were open and eager to gobble up whatever he presented to them.
"You learn." He shrugged "Just appreciate the adventures you do." That seemed the best answer. He had learned that the most over the years. The small adventures, the times he and Cavin had played in the woods, while not thrilling were some of his dearest and most precious memories. He was grateful he had always eaten up details of every day. He wished he could have known then what he knew now; he would have savored each and every detail of their games. He would often revisit them in his dreams, go back to the moments when they climbed tree after tree, letting the wind rush the leaves and amending their imagination games accordingly. It was an adventure he truly treasured: his friendship.
Sebastian eyed his uncle and sat at his feet on the ground, "Tell us one of your adventures, Uncle Cubbi!" His energetic shout pulled Cubbi from his thoughts and he looked down at the blond haired boy who was seated at his feet. Princess Primrose, to his right gave her son a look that clearly said she disapproved of him being so demanding but Cubbi just gave her a similar look that said he was fine with it. He remembered being just the same as a child and quite frankly, it was nice to have such an influence on them. He loved it.
"Yay! Story!" Josie declared as she crawled up onto the pink knight's lap, taking a cake from the tray and settling herself back down "Best story!" she demanded, grinning.
"My _best_ story?" Cubbi asked, thinking, rubbing his chin as he ruffled her hair with his other hand, "Man, you're not making this easy on me, are you?"
"The bestest one!" Sebastian echoed his sister, "All your stories are excit'in" he explained "Just like Grandpa Zummi's. Tell us a special one!"
Cubbi eyed them, "Well, I think all my stories are special, just in different ways." He ruffled Josie's hair again, "Kinda like you're special but so's your brother."
"Not like your special 'ventures though" Sebastian insisted, "There's all kinds of neato people and things that happen in your stories. Not like Josie or me." He insisted, though he was still smiling "We wanna hear your kind of stories Uncle…the ones with people savin' people, with the trolls and bad guys and things like that!"
Cubbi took a sip of tea he was offer, though not without a small face "Some more sugar, please," he coughed out to the servant who smiled gently before going to retrieve the requested items. "Hmm, those kind of stories huh?" He paused a moment and asked, "So, you mean like someone rising from being a teased boy to a great king? Or about a princess who rode into battle, with her bow drawn and fell anyone who dared raise a hand against her family? Or the two kids who fought in a full on war with only their wits and a handful of knives and bows? Or about the wise rulers who replaced five hundred years of distrust with peace and friendship?"
"Yay!" Josie cried, bouncing on his lap a little bit, grabbing at his tunic, "Yay!"
Sebastian had moved to his knees and said, "Yeah! Those kind of 'ventures, Uncle! Just like the storybooks but you've seen them!"
Gently, he moved Josie to the ground and took her hand as he stood and took Sebastian's hand in his other. "Oh, you're closer to those than you think." He advised, walking across the room and stopping before the large glass paneled walls. He crouched a little to be at their level, though being gummi he did not have to bend far. The two human children regarded him oddly, rightly confused and he simply directed their attention back to the reflective surfaces. "You asked me to tell you about all those adventures but you told me that you and Josie weren't like those heroes, right?"
Sebastian nodded "We aren't ridin' into battle like they all did…"
"They didn't pick those times, I can promise you that." Cubbi promised the human boy and smirked lightly, "They were just like you and Josie, but instead of drawing away from what life threw at them, they jumped at it. They listened to who they were and ran with it. They didn't have anything that you two don't." He paused a moment and said, "Remember what I just said, about the rulers bringing peace, the young boy becoming a king and the princess rushing into battle? Of the two that fought in a war?"
Sebastian nodded; his little sister was a bit too young to complete understand all of this but she was intrigued all the same. Cubbi pointed to the mirror, "That young boy was Cavin, that young Princess was Calla, those two are the two rulers I was talking about."
Sebastian blinked at his uncle, his eyes huge. Cubbi smirked and nodded "Your great-grandparents." He turned Sebastian's face to the mirror, "You look like your great-grandmother but you have your great-grandfather's eyes. You have his heart, you have your grandmother's spirit." To Josie, he lifted her up into his arms and smiled "You look just like your great grandfather and you have his heart, but that stubbornness is all Grandma's." He set up down again and smiled at the blond haired boy, saying, "There is nothing in my stories that YOU can't do. You have the heart for it and that's all you ever need."
"You…think I could be a hero like them?" He asked finally, his eyes still huge. "I mean…you said they were heroes and were in a war and …"
Cubbi sat down where he was, pulling Sebastian down to sit next to him, Josie once again leaping into his lap. Queen Rebecca and Princess Primrose slowly made their way over and despite being as swollen-bellied as she was, the two of them made their way to the ground. Cubbi kept his focus on the two children however, "The heart is what makes a hero and that's something you either have or you don't, simple as that." Cubbi thought a moment then said, "You know how I knew you two will be able to do what your great grandparents did? Because I see so much of them in you."
Sebastian eyed him then his eyes brightened as the gummi went on, "Know what Cavin was like when we first met?"
Pushing himself over to share the gummi's lap, Sebastian requested, "Tell me, Uncle Cubbi."
Closing his eyes a moment, Cubbi grinned as memories played back, just as bright and strong as if they had happened yesterday, "Well, back then, gummies and humans were separate, we kept apart. Didn't trust one another for nothing. But one day, while your great grandfather was dealing with some nasty ogres, our paths crossed, for the first time in 500 years!" Cubbi smiled at the two humans children, giving each of them a strong squeeze, "And we got a reminder of why humans and gummies used to be friends…"
