Title: To The Ends Of The Earth
Summary: Timcanpy realizes that the only way to keep Allen in his life, is to take Lenalee out of Allen's. Onesided Timcanpy/Allen and Allen/Lenalee and at the end, Allen/…?
Rating: T
Author's Note: Oh, how I have longed to write from Tim's POV again for a long time. I finally decided to do it. My life is awesome. Yandere!Tim for the absolute win. This is a spiritual successor to my fic from January '10 called 'Words Unspoken' though it's not a direct sequel to it. Just the same subject matter, except this time… It's creepier. XD
Disclaimer: I do not own DGM, or Timcanpy's onesided love.
…
"And I just can't look. It's killing me and taking control."
-'Mr. Brightside' by The Killers
…
I don't know when I realized that I loved Allen Walker. Maybe when it was when he called my name when he was in trouble, or maybe it was when he let me sit in his soft white hair and sleep. I'll say it again: I don't know when I realized that I loved Allen Walker. However, the fact that I love him will remain forever true.
That is why it is so hard for me. It seems that there is no end to the angst that this boy will put me through. Trial after trial, time after time I am put into the fight only to emerge to see the same scene. He saves her. All he does is save her. Of course, there are slight variations; once in a blue moon he will fight along side her, but even when I do my best, even when I do the near impossible for him, he never looks my way, only at her.
I have thought of many ways to kill Lenalee Lee.
Let me be frank; this is not the way that my Master programmed me to act. To General Cross, I was nothing but a golem, though more sentient than others. I bemoan the fact that my Master did not give me a way to speak, to allow myself the comfort of having intellectual intercourse with the rest of the world. I curse my Master for giving me thoughts but leaving me unable to express them. Again going into the hypothetical situations that my mind divulges myself when I am alone and unhappy, I ponder how my existence would be like if I were given speech, if perhaps, Allen would stop looking at that girl as if she were his one and only and begin to look at me in that way.
However, it is no use dreaming; I am old enough and worldly to understand that dreams are the mere escape of people who cannot do anything for themselves. Of course, I am not a person, but the rules apply to me as well. Action must be taken if you care about something, and because I would go to the ends of the earth and back for Allen Walker, I have, as I stated before, thought of many ways to kill Lenalee Lee.
Because of her Innocence and experience in battle, any sort of physical battle against her is out of the question. Although it would be the most satisfying thing to stab her as she stares into my –metaphorical- eyes as she breathes her final breaths, I know that I am no match for her when it comes to battle. Easily she would be able to crush me with her Innocence and who knows what would happen then. Would I die? And if I did, would I go to heaven or would my mind be lost forever? Those are philosophical discussions that I do not wish to trouble myself with, for if I were, I would never have a moment's peace again.
So that is why I must be sneaky. I must execute my plan with the upmost secrecy. I must lead Lenalee to believe that I like her, love her, even. Bring her into complacency with my charming personality. Then, when she least expects it, I shall strike with the vengeance that I so readily deserve.
How I will strike, however, has been up to debate in my mind for a great deal of time. There is always the option of poison; it is by far the easiest to attain with my body and lack of opposable thumbs, but it is also the least likely method that would actually kill her. Many people, I have learned, have a certain defense against poison. And though Lenalee looks weak and timid, she has been through many injuries and has survived them all no worse for the wear. That is why I fear that poison is not the best method to do her in with.
Other options included me flying into her mouth so that she choked, having her chase after me into a pit of burning lava, or by dropping a knife into her heart as she slept. Since the first two ideas I had were relatively silly and not very easy to execute, I decided upon the last.
I also decided that tonight is the night that I shall perform my deeds and claim Allen Walker as my own.
Phase One: I collect the knife from a weapons storage room in the Order. I'm not sure why it's there, to be honest. The Science Department has their strange robotic contraptions and the exorcists, themselves, have their Innocence to protect them. However, for this moment, I am overjoyed to have found a plethora of weaponry virtually at my disposal. I choose my knife carefully; big enough that it will do damage, but small enough that I can swallow it and carry it within my body (which has much more space in it than one would expect). I find my weapon of choice. It is now time to action.
Phase Two: I manage to get from the weaponry room to Lenalee's room relatively easily. A few people chuckle as I glide past, greeting me or ignoring me, having no idea what I am set to do. If I had a heart, it would be pounding. If I had a stomach, it would be dropping. If I had a soul, it would be hurting. But luckily, I have none of these things. All I have is a desperate need for the affections of Allen Walker and the will to do whatever it took to get him to love me in return. Without hesitation, I open the door to Lenalee's room.
Phase Three: The door proves to be a problem. Again I am confronted with the issue of not having opposable thumbs. No matter how I try, no matter how I bang on the handle, push it and press on it, I cannot get the door to move. Seeing as this is the first difficulty that I've had on this mission, my spirit does not falter. There are other ways; I just need to be resourceful as I have through all of these years with my Master or Allen and find a way out.
Phase Four: I see that Lavi's door is ajar. I think, perhaps, that maybe I can find some sort of implement that will aid me in my mission, so I go inside.
What I see inside of that room I am sure will haunt me for the rest of my days.
I had always conjectured that Lavi was in love with Allen. Most people I knew were –Allen had always been a player. The way that Lavi's eyes were drawn to Allen like a fly to the light and how Lavi always tried to do things for Allen, even when it seemed to go against his training as a Bookman had hinted to me his feelings for my Allen.
What I had never expected, however, was that Allen –my beautiful, sweet, wonderful, and virtuous if not to a fault, Allen- would also have feelings for that man as well.
Suddenly everything seemed darker; my world seemed smaller. Of course, it was obvious to me now as I saw Allen and Lavi kissing one another on top of Lavi's bed. Of course Allen loved this boy, of course the two of them were together. The signs had all been there from the start, hadn't they? Still, that didn't dull the hollow pain within my (nonexistent) chest and the ache within my conscious.
I mentally apologized to Lenalee; I now knew that she had done nothing wrong. Now there was something more important than my small, unwarranted vendetta against her. It was unfair of me to make assumptions without knowing anything, which I then realized I didn't.
I should have left the room; I knew that. I should have turned away and forgotten about Allen and to find someone who would love and cherish me for the wonderful thing that I was. However, I could not stop staring at the two of them. They were so passionate with one another that they had not even noticed the fact that I had entered the room. They were so in love that they ignored the rest of the world.
There was nothing left for me; nowhere to go. The person whom I had always loved the most had found someone else. Someone of his own species. Someone far more compatible with him than I could ever be.
And then I knew what I had to do about it. I had to kill Lavi.
…
To Be Continued…?
*thunder* *lightning*