Harry was sad. Then excited. He was going to school. Harry is a dork. But a magic dork, one might say. His uncle was fat and what not, but he was mad at Harry for being different. When will people learn to understand each other? Why can't they see what the children see? Oh why?

Harry went to school and was baked. At Harry's school they are high a lot. And wizards. They saw a hat dance. Then they went to their rooms for being bad. But they were still baked.

"Ron!" Said Harry

"Yes Harry?" Ron said over the sound of a plot twist

"I can't hear you over this plot twist!" Harry yelled

So Ron punched Dobbs. And it was good.

Then they went to class. The new teacher was Mr. Probably More Then He Seems To Be. He taught them how to ward of evil forces like Used Car Salesmen, Ralph Nader, Toadstools, Sharks, and Democrats. Then they got high.

Harry was suppose to be studying for his big test, but dancing. Every one did a jam, except Herms who was missing since the plot development, but burst in as Ron was doing a sick freak dance with some random witch who was more baked then a birthday cake.

Old Voldy then got better at doing something and was mean. And Harry saw the whole thing.

"My dreams suck since Voldy started invading them." Harry said

Then he had a dream about a tree that shot fire out of its butt and smelled like a baked wizard. He woke up and got high.

The next day he told Ron.

"Herms will know." Ron said while eating a kipper

"But Herms has been behaving like a reluctant brainwashed spy for a dark wizard." Harry popped a jumper and shake

"Yeah, ever since she was missing for three weeks in Sturgis St. Pottery Barn, the last place Old Voldy was seen." Ron said

"Maybe we should ask her in order to end this conversation." Harry said as Ron morphed in to a monkey

"I'm a Shark!" Yelled Ron

"CRAP!" Harry yelled and ran down the halls

Then they met Herms and talked, but I'm not going to write down what they said because they start using big words and it gets really raunchy towards the end (Hint: 8 watermelons and an acoustic guitar). But Herms is not possessed. Just in love. With Dobbs. CRAP! So they eloped and ran off in the last book. But now they had broken up. And Herms had given birth to a billion freaks, which had eaten each other. I probably should have mentioned this earlier.

Then Harry got no a broom and almost got smacked by his rival, Malfoil. And every one was like WHOA and CRAP until the Snitch turned in to a monkey.

"I'm a shark!" Yelled the Snitch

"CRAP!" Said Harry as he leapt from his broom to avoid it

Of course he was fine. What, did you think he would die? I'm not stupid enough to kill of the main character half way. So Harry got up and caught the ball. And the people rejoiced. There was much revelry and singing. Herms was happy, but Ron was baked.

When they went to class the next day they were so excited they wet their pants and Snape took away points.

"Oh, bungies!" Cursed Ron

"I know! To cheer our selves up lets go spudding to some nippers!" Harry skimped as the fungis popped

Then they went back to their place were Ron's sister, Ginny was acting weird. To cheer her up Ron beat Dobbs with a fire poker, but when that failed he threw him out a twelve-story window on to some pikes. But love kept Dobbs alive. That and several thousand dollars of Valium.

But Herms was even weirder. She was doing weird things, like not showing up for raves.

"I'm worried about Herms again." Harry said "Because I love her as another passenger on this Spaceship we call earth."

"I know!" Ron said as he twirled some glow sticks "When will we arrive at our destination? Why can't we see what the children see? Because out on the edge of darkness there rides a peace train. Oh, peace train keep on riding take this country home again."

So Ron went out and asked for Dobbs forgiveness. Dobbs was so happy he force fed Ron the contents of his Bed Pan before shoving it in his nose. And every one was like CRAP. Snape was mad, so he ate a student. Don't worry he was ugly.

Then Harry played Broomy-Ball in the Air Sport again. This time it was much more intense. Ron wet his pants. Herms was mad, but only because Mr. Probably More Then He Seems To Be was break-dancing on the grave of Elvis while baked. And it was good. But Harry won, and every one was like CRAP!

Then they listened to Smashing Pumpkins and put wands up their noses and electrocuted them selves. It was really funny. Ron couldn't do it because he still had Dobbs Bed Pan in his nose. So Old Voldy appeared and there was a showdown.

"Watch it Harry!" Yelled Herms "He's packing the heat?"

And they fought long and hard. But it was Pay-Per-View, so I'll skip to the end. Harry had almost beaten Old Voldy. Old Voldy had dropped his wand, but could go for it. Harry had knocked him over.

"I know what your thinking. Did he do five spells, or six? I'm curious my self." Harry said "But this being a magic wand the most powerful kind of wand there is, I'd be asking my self one question right now. Do I feel lucky? Well, do you, Punk?"

And then Old Voldy went for it and Harry went BAZAP! And Old Voldy exploded like a grapefruit full of M-80's. And they were so happy they didn't notice Ron was dead. But Mr. Probably More Then He Seems To Be brought his back to life because he was actually Old Voldy. But he had seen the error of his ways and asked for their forgiveness. They forgave him and they all break danced until the sun came up, at which point they started freak dancing. And it was good. CRAP!