The door swished open onto the Observation Deck. Ashley stepped through, and then stopped. Shepard was sitting on one of the chairs, with his head in his hands.

"...Skipper? You okay?"

"I..." After a moment, he sighed. "No."

Ashley moved closer, walking around to crouch in front of him. "Hey. What's up? What's happened?"

"Hackett's new assignment," said Shepard, standing up and walking past her to the window. "It has something to do with the Leviathan of Dis, so I did some background reading."

"Didn't Balak tell you that the Leviathan was a Reaper?" asked Ashley, frowning.

"Yeah. Batarians recovered it in 2163. At some point since then, it indoctrinated a fair bit of the Batarian government. It's why the Hegemony fell so quickly. Balak thought the indoctrination only happened recently..."

"But...?"

Shepard turned around, tossing a datapad in her direction. "Look at the dates. 2163 - the Batarians begin studying a Reaper corpse. 2165 - Batarians begin aggressively expanding their territory, clashing with the Alliance. By 2171, the Batarians have shut their embassy and closed themselves off from the rest of the galaxy, but before that..." His voice trailed off, and he turned back to the window.

Ashley picked up the datapad. "2170. Mindoir. God... I'm sorry Shepard."

"6 years later," continued Shepard, his voice almost monotone. "The Batarians help to lead and finance an assault on Elysium, an attack that later became known as the Skylian Blitz."

"You earned the Star of Terra," said Ashley.

"I saw good people die." He turned away from the window; his back sliding down it until he was sitting on the floor. "But that's just it, Ash. Batarian relations went sour after they recovered the Leviathan of Dis. If that was because of indoctrination, then..." Shepard's eyes closed, his voice breaking. "... then every major event in my life leads back to them. I've been fighting the Reapers even when I didn't know it. All of it - my family, my career, my reputation, everything since Eden Prime - all of it was the Reapers."

She moved over to sit next to him. "Hey. Dig deep enough, everything leads back to the Reapers. Them and their damn cycles. If the Protheans had lived, where would we be now? You and I probably wouldn't even exist. If any of the cycles hadn't happened... don't think about it. You and me - the Reapers didn't cause that."

He looked across at her. "If Sovereign hadn't attacked Eden Prime-"

"Then you and I might have met when you came down to collect that old beacon. Or some other time. I like to think we'd have found each other eventually." She sighed. "But you're missing the point. The Reapers didn't forge what we have. We did. I'm not in a relationship with some cybernetic space-squids, Shepard. I'm in a relationship with you."

Shepard took her hand and squeezed it. "Thanks."

"'That which we are, we are: one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate; But strong in will: to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.'"

He offered her a weak smile as he stood up. "'Not to yield'... not always easy, that part."

"That's why you don't do it alone," Ashley replied.

"Yeah..." said Shepard, nodding. He yawned. "I should probably get some sleep. We'll be reaching the Citadel in a few hours, and then I've got a meeting with a 'Dr Bryson'. Don't want to be yawning through that..."