Hey Sweethearts !
This is a thank you to all my lovely readers of Petals & Prongs, for supporting me and staying with me,
and to anyone who comes across this for taking the time to click on it!
xxLJ
Disclaimer: I am neither He Is We nor JK Rowling, and therefore do not own very much of this story at all.
Playlist: Blame It On The Rain - He Is We.
~.'*'.'*'.~ Blame It On The Rain ~.'*'.'*'.~
A Jily Fanfiction
by Jassy Smiley
It was raining.
Of course it's raining. Lily Evans shook herself sternly, brushing her fingers through the long mane of red hair she'd grown down past her shoulders and catching water droplets with delicate fingers. She fixed the collar on her mackintosh unnecessarily, tucking her cream-coloured scarf firmly under the beige material. When had it not rained on September 1st?
Everyone in the Manchester region knew that the very first day of autumn practically begged for buckets of pouring rain. The skies grew slightly darker the day before, as though aching with the pain of holding all the water vapour in. Lily knew the science of the event. She knew the chances.
You got me caught
In all this mess
I guess
We can blame it on the rain
Still, it unnerved her. She wondered idly if he remembered the significance of the weather, quickly and decisively coming to the conclusion that he probably didn't. As a general rule, one didn't remember the significance of things that very obviously weren't significant.
She smiled wryly; an attempt to mask the pang she felt at her own thought. She fumbled clumsily with her handbag, pulling out her ticket with more fuss than was needed. Straightening, Lily hitched her bag over her shoulder and grasped the handle of her trunk, moving towards the familiarly bright red steam engine. She ignored him, even as he pulled away from that petite blonde to glance at her as she walked past.
Tell me,
Does she look at you the way I do?
Try to understand the words you say,
And the way you move?
She knew it would happen, sooner or later. He was James bloody Potter for Merlin's sakes. She wasn't dim. She knew it would be easy for him to forget her; to write her off. She knew she'd always been some sort of game to him. She should've always known. Some part of her had.
It didn't make it any easier when she saw him.
It didn't make it hurt any less when she saw her.
It didn't stop her from regretting anything and everything a thousand times more…
But of all bloody people; did it have to be her?
Does she get the same big rush?
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Unfortunately, a small part of her knew, the fact that it was her made Lily's heart ache even more. And the same part knew that the ache in her heart wasn't just her wounded pride. It wasn't the humiliation of being dumped, even if it was by James Bloody Potter. It wasn't the cold indifference of her peers, or the knowledge that it could all have been easily prevented. It wasn't, indeed, even the fact that she was entirely at fault.
Tell me –
Am I crazy?
Or is this more
Than a crush?
It was the fact that everything she was feeling now pointed to the very feeling that had been the cause of their breakup.
If that made any sort of sense.
Irony was cruel.
With a sigh, she lifted her trunk onto the train and slipped through door, swiftly moving to the Prefect's Compartments. It was early, but no one would question her being there. Lily was a generally organised and well-kept person; she often arrived five to ten minutes before the Heads themselves prior to that year. With a faint smile, she twisted the small, gold badge on her chest. Head Girl. It had been a pleasant surprise, though most of her friends swore that it had been entirely expected.
She sighed, curling her legs up against her and hugging her knees to her chest. Lily leant against the wall, watching the raindrops on the window slide against the pane, creating tear-tracks along the glass. Closing her eyes, she allowed flashes of that day to come back to her.
The way his hair fell when it was wet; messier than ever and sticking up at odd angles. Plastered to his face here and there, making him look like he had a beard and sideburns. The way his glasses fogged up with the humidity of his breath; he never wore them straight on his nose (not that his nose itself was at all straight), but allowed them to slip almost all the way down. A single drop of water had managed to slip behind the glass, posing as a teardrop as it slid from the metal frame. The way her clothes were soaked through after standing outside for so long, with him. Her previously white jumper had been deemed irreparable by any means; the mud-and-water stains were unrelenting to either magical or muggle methods.
The way her lips felt afterward; tingling and a little damp. And that airy feeling that something was missing; that they should have been attached to something else.
Lily ignored the soft knock, the sliding of the compartment door as someone entered. She didn't care to look up; the Prefects knew that she daydreamed sometimes. It was a (bad) habit, but one that influenced her day-to-day life. It wasn't until she heard someone's throat clear that she glanced up; irritated. The scowl melted off her face as she took in the hazel eyes and the raven hair.
And the badge that claimed 'HB'.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
He offered her a small half-smile, chewing on his bottom lip when she didn't respond. Lily tucked a lock of hair behind her ear awkwardly, looking back down at her feet and trying to remember how to breathe. It had been easy just a second ago. Something about pulling in air through her mouth or nose? Nope, all gone.
As the Prefects from various houses filed in, each giving the Head Boy a surprised glance, Lily managed to suck in a gasp or two, regulating her inhalation a little. She forced herself to calm down, putting on a smile and fighting to keep it there as she walked in. She chatted nonsensically to Remus about her holidays, babbling about the weather to stem the flow of emotion that erupted from her.
I catch my breath
The one you took
The moment
You entered the room
She walked up to him, her long legs swinging gracefully. Her blonde hair was swept up into a ponytail; fringe curled perfectly. The light dusting of gold powder on her eyelids completed the flawless image, highlighting her sparkling blue eyes. The golden tan of her legs and arms gave the impression of a sun-kissed angel; her white-and-gold dress and cloak setting off the look. The flash of a smile from her painted lips flew in Lily's direction; the redhead glanced down at her Mary Janes, flushing.
She missed the worried glance Remus shot her, studying the pattern of stitches that ran along the sides of her shoes. Black, almost imperceptible. Running stitch. She was absolutely not thinking about the two of them snogging. Oh Godric.
My heart it breaks
At the thought
Of her
Holding you
Lily placed her hands in her lap, shrugging off her coat. She smoothed down her black pleated skirt, wrinkling her nose at its length. She'd meant to go to Gladrags' in the holidays to get a longer one, but she just hadn't had the time. She'd worn stockings to compensate, but she had a sneaking suspicion they'd just made it worse; she'd been unable to find black ones and had, instead, settled on tan. With a sigh, Lily rose to speak, resisting the urge to tug down the dratted skirt at the hem.
She addressed the Prefects formally, gazing directly in front of her at all times. She deliberately avoided the left corner; James seemed perfectly fine with letting her carry on. How in the name of Godric Gryffindor he'd even managed to get the position was beyond her. She'd pegged Remus as the Head type since Third Year.
Remus was much less immature. Less arrogant. Less incorrigible. Less…
Snoggable.
Don't you dare.
Oh Merlin.
But she was on her own now. She'd made that desire perfectly clear to everyone around her; solitude was familiar: comforting in an unusual (and, albeit, slightly morbid) way. Of course, she still had friends. She just didn't want to risk the chances of a relationship.
Maybe I'm alone in this
But I find peace in solitude knowing
If we had just one more kiss the whole room
Would be glowing
"Solitude is peaceful," Lily murmured to herself firmly as James finally stood to address the prefects. "Peaceful and familiar."
We'd be glowing.
"Can't risk," she whispered, shaking off the feeling of mutiny against her own will. "Not worth it."
Not worth what, though?
Not worth the gossip?
Not worth the dirty looks or the suggestive sniggers?
Not worth her pride?
Lily sunk lower in her seat, resting her head back against the window with a soft thud. She was proud, she knew. She couldn't handle the looks on her peers' faces when they'd hear. She was mortified at the thought of the harassment she'd have to endure. She felt sick to her very stomach as the image of a nameless Slytherin's smirk pushed its way to the foreground of her mind, uninvited.
But most of all, Lily couldn't handle rejection.
He'd moved on. He was dating that (slaggy cow of a) Madeleine Appleby. They'd been caught snogging on the platform apparently.
She couldn't handle what she knew would be pity in his eyes as he shook his head apologetically, resting a complacent hand on her shoulder and murmuring to her in a soft, diffident tone. He'd tell her, with an expression of fleeting remorse, that it was simply too late, and she'd had her chance.
She couldn't handle what she knew would be the tortured scepticism in his eyes of liquid hazel-gold, if she were to admit it.
The thing she'd denied to the point that her flat disavowals had destroyed their relationship.
The fact she thought she'd never admit.
She loved him.
Lily Evangeline Evans was in love with James Potter.
Too bad he had a girlfriend.
It's the rain, she sighed, tracing a tear-track with her forefinger absently as she moped mournfully. Blame it all on the rain.
Does she look at you the way I do?
Try to understand the words you say,
And the way you move?
Does she get the same big rush,
When you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?
Tell me;
Am I crazy?
Or is this more than a crush?
To Sequel? Or not to Sequel?
That is the question. Review/PM me your opinion!
xxLJ