Down and Out

Author: Hathor
Feedback: ladyraistlin@hotmail.com
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete
Category: Fluff
Warning: None
Spoilers: None
Challenge Response
Date Uploaded: 2002-09-04 14:45:05
Archive: Area52, The Alpha Gate
Special Notes:

Disclaimer: Sadly these characters are not mine, but Daniel haunts my dreams.

Author's Notes: Challenge was "Downtime". Unbeta'd. Complete Fluff.

Summary: Daniel tries not to hurt Jack




~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Down and Out ~*~*~*~*~*~*~




"Will you stop that?" I snarl without looking up from my work.

Still the maddening noise continues. Thwack. Thwack. Thwack. It's worse than a goddamn ribbon device. It's drilling into my mind, wearing me down and weakening my resolve. I slam the book shut with more force than the thing deserved and look over my glasses to Jack.

He rocks back in his chair and continues to bounce the tennis ball against the closed door. Thwack. Thwack.

"And you are how old?" I ask snidely.

"Too old to be spending my precious downtime watching you work."

"Then don't. Go....fish."

He gets a predatory gleam in his eye. This is a look I've seen on Jack's face with somewhat alarming frequency in the past couple of months. I'm not sure whether he's going to kill me or kiss me. Really, I'd prefer it if he did neither and just got the hell out of my study.

"You know what. I really don't feel like fishing."

"Shocker!" I mutter sarcastically under my breath.

Thwack. Thwack. The ball continues its lazy trajectory.

"Are you hungry, Daniel?" he enquires in a conversational tone. "Got a craving for anything?"

"Only for a goddamn ZAT GUN! For Christ's sake Jack, will you stop doing that?!"

He snags the ball out of the air with snap of his wrist. "Fancy a beer?" he asks pleasantly.

I try and resist the urge to hit my head against my desk. Or more accurately, to do the same to Jack's.

Sighing I surrender. Anything for a bit of peace and quiet so that I can get on with my work.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



As I survey the dimly lit bar I try not to groan at the thought of the solitude of my study and the sanctuary of my books. Jack leisurely swigs from a bottle of Bud while I rotate my glass, listening to the delicate clink of the ice cubes as they chill my whiskey.

"Now this is what I call downtime," Jack says, satisfaction rich in his voice. "You, me, a bar and not a snakehead in the whole joint."

He obviously hasn't seen the Hathor-esque man-eater eyeing him up from the end of the aforementioned bar. I really should tell him, but there again who am I to ruin Jack's little corner of paradise. Oh she's coming this way. This should definitely be fun. I settle back on my stool and wait for the show to start. I think that karma is such a wonderful way for the universe to get its laughs. Not to mention me as well.

"So Jack..." I begin.

The woman settles onto the bar stool next to Jack. As I take a sip of the amber spirit in my glass, she asks him for a light in a sultry voice. Jack politely informs her that he no longer smokes and she tucks away the cigarette. She's quite pretty in a plain kind of way. Well spoken with playful eyes. Jack and her are in quiet conversation that I do not attempt to intrude into. I just drink my drink and watch Jack.

He is a handsome man with a commanding presence. He used to intimidate me, now he just unsettles me. Take these looks that he's been giving me recently. They are just down right strange. It is as though he doesn't know how to act around me anymore.

Oh the woman's gone and I curse myself inwardly for missing the fun bit due to my internal musings.

"Did you have fun with your new friend?" I say, nodding to her retreating form.

"Pleasant lady," Jack says his tone neutral as he motions to the bartender to order us the same again. The conversation halts as the drinks are poured.

The barman departs, leaving us two new drinks. "So how did you get rid of her?" I ask curiously as I sip my whiskey.

He flashes me a sly smile as he raises his beer. "I told her that you're the jealous type."

I swallow rapidly, trying to stop the tears pricking behind my eyes from the burning sensation of the strong whiskey going down the wrong way. Jack laughs at my choking and swigs his beer once more. He smacks a firm hand into my back, causing me to lurch forward. "Not homophobic are we Danny?"

He laughs as I try and clear my lungs of twelve year old single malt and I try to decide what on earth I ever did to the universe to end up with Jack O'Neill as my personal tormentor.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



I have to confess that I have no idea what is up with Jack. As I listen to him pottering around in the kitchen, I toe off my shoes. If I didn't know better I would have thought that he'd spent the past couple of hours flirting with me.

After the coughing fit we actually had some semblance of a normal conversation. Normal, of course, is a relative term when you refer to conversations between Jack and myself. Anyway it was a conversation peppered with casual touches on my arm and a couple of what could only be described as shy smiles from Jack. Shy smiles delivered with veiled serious gazes. There is definitely something going on with Jack.

I rest my head back onto the couch and try and decipher this latest puzzle while in a mellow state of semi-drunkenness.

"Coffee!" he says cheerfully, placing two large mugs and a cafetiere onto the table. Jack has a cafetiere? I wonder if he's been infected with an alien device or other.

"Okay, so who are you and what have you done with Colonel O'Neill?" I ask as I manage to sit up straight. I get a rich laugh from Jack and my suspicions are confirmed. I frown and peer at him.

"What is up with you tonight? You've been acting strange all day."

"What do you mean Daniel?"

"Not wanting to go fishing, dragging me out for a beer, pretending to be gay, owning a cafetiere..." I pause to sniff the warm aroma of coffee, "...and laughing at my jokes. It's not you Jack."

He leans forward to rest his arms on his elbows and then gives me what could only be described as a wicked grin.

"Oh but it is Danny. All of it."

I look puzzled. I feel like the proverbial Alice but for the life of me I can't see the White Rabbit. Jack seems quite in earnest. Serious even, despite the small smile playing at his lips. He's trying to tell me something I think.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" I ask him.

He plunges the cafetiere and I can feel my tastebuds beginning to salivate. "I've already told you, Daniel." He says in a soft but measured tone. I replay our conversation back through my mind and suddenly everything slots into place.

"Jack, are you trying to tell me you're gay?" I say softly, leaning forward to mirror his earlier action of resting my elbows on my knees. The sluggishness from the whiskey seems to have evaporated away.

He gives me a small genuine smile and pours the coffee. The fact that he hasn't jumped up vehemently denying this fact has me worried that he really isn't my Jack O'Neill.

"Why tell me now?" I ask.

"Because," he shrugs.

I raise my eyebrows, silently echoing his answer and trying to prompt him for more. He stands to hand me a pipping hot mug of Italian coffee. I take it from him giving him a grateful smile, wrapping my hands around the mug. He pausing and then leans down and gently brushes a kiss over my forehead.

My lips form a silent "Oh".

Okay. So now I understand.

He settles back down onto the opposite couch and waits for me to speak. From his behaviour tonight I realise that this is a big deal for him. He's trusting me not to leave him, walk out on him, hate him. I don't think he knows that I could never hate him.

I could never hate him because I love him too much.

The thought hits me like a thunderbolt. I look up at him through my lashes to see him smiling. He knows. He was just waiting for me to catch up with him. He's almost smirking now, knowing that for once he's managed to work something out before me.

I place the mug down on the table and take a deep breath and stand.

"Are you...?" he starts, suddenly looking anxious.

"Going? No." I reply. "Am I gay? No." My voice trails off on the last word as I struggle to define what exactly it is that I am feeling. He tries to steel his face but I know him too well. There is pain in his heart, pain that I've put there. I don't like that; I don't want to hurt him. I never want to hurt him.

Jack's standing up now. "Daniel, I..." he begins, running a hand through his grey hair.

"I know you do." I pause. "I think I do too."

"But you're not..."

I close the distance between us and stand in front of him, regarding him intensely. He doesn't pull away from my visual scrutiny but stands there, his breathing uneven. I don't know whether that's from the emotions he's experiencing or our physical proximity.

I've never been one for labels - straight, gay, bi. I have always believed that people are too extrodinary in their own right to be stereotyped, labelled and categorised. This is Jack and I am Daniel. We are who we are.

So my curiousity gets the better of me and I reach out a tentative hand to touch his face. Those dark intense eyes flutter closed as I cup his cheek. He makes no move to touch me, but seems resigned to allowing me this exploration. I think he thinks it is the one and only time I will touch him so intimately.

I tilt my head slightly and gaze at his lips. I've never tasted Jack before. Never tasted any man before. Slowly I tilt forward and gently brush my lips to his. A soft sigh escapes from him and I repeat the action, this time prolonging the contact.

My other hand comes up to wind into his hair, pulling his face closer to mine as I move my lips more assuredly across his. My tongue flickers out in curiosity, tasting salt, beer and Jack. Surprising desire slams through my body and I moan softly.

Suddenly two arms wrap around my body and Jack brings us together with his strength. His hands are exploring my hips and my back and his mouth is plundering mine.

After a few moments he breaks the breath-stealing kiss and then whispers softly in my ear.

"If you don't mean this Danny, please leave now. I'm not looking for anything casual. I don't think that I could do that."

I silence him with a single kiss and then he holds me close.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



I don't know how long we stood there like that. A minute. An hour.

I need time to adjust to this new development between Jack and myself. This is not something I had ever considered. But as I look across at him sleeping peacefully now I think perhaps this is something I want.

Perhaps like him, it is something that deep down, I really need.



~ The End ~