A/N set at the end of 206, my take on what should happen next.
"No. No. I'm proud of you." My sister's words were calming and very welcome. The tears were still running down my face and I couldn't seem to make them stop. I thought that I had suffered heart break before, but I couldn't have been more wrong. This was completely different. An excruciating pain like nothing I had ever felt before. Accepting my sexuality had been easier than I would have imagined it to be. The hard part was not receiving the reward of spending the rest of my life with her. My entire body was hurting; my sisters arms wrapped around me a tiny bit too tight, but in this moment I didn't mind, in fact, I desperately needed the intimacy of someone I loved. Kara ended up distracting me with a movie night, trying her best to cheer me up.
A week or so passed where I didn't have any contact with Maggie. Part of me was dying inside, longing for her. The other part of me knew that it wouldn't happen. Maggie didn't feel the same way I did; therefore I needed to accept this and move on. I was keeping my mind of my heart break by focusing on work and thereby keep my thoughts occupied with DEO stuff. No assignment was too small, I was legit willing to do pretty much anything to keep busy.
A report came in describing a rouge alien roaming around down town. Instead of calling Kara I decided to gather a team and go get a handle on it myself. Driving around National City didn't show any signs of an alien attack. We almost gave up our search to head back to the office when a civilian car drove past our van obviously driving faster than the speed limit allowed. Two seconds later a NCPD car drove past us at the same speed and I made the decision to switch on our own siren and join the chase. I didn't give any seconds thoughts to who might be in the NCPD car. Eventually our van and the police car managed to corner the other car. We all jumped out of our respective cars with our weapons drawn.
"Drop your weapon!" One of the police officers shouted; my heart stopped when I realised it was Maggie. The guy we had chased was blue and I assumed he was our rouge alien on the loose. Realising he was surrounded, he admitted defeat by dropping his gun and allowed for one of my team members to cuff him.
"Detective Sawyer, we'll take it from here." I said as I made my way towards the alien. "Appreciate you help though."
"Danvers!" Maggie said with her irresistible smile when she realised I was here as well. "I guess I don't have much choice in handing him over to the DEO seeing as he's obviously not from the planet." Sarcasm. Great. I chose not to reply to her and instead went to make sure the prisoner was secured and prepared for transport.
"Alex, can we talk?"
"I'm kinda busy right now, Maggie."
"Later?" She looked almost sad, I honestly hadn't meant to snap at her like that.
"Okay. I'll call you." I gave in. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to talk to her, or if I would have preferred to never having to see her again.
The rest of the day went by too slowly for my taste. Kara came by the DEO after she had finished her day job at CatCo. It was after all Tuesday and nothing really happened in the area of protecting the earth from alien invasions.
"So? Anything interesting happened today while I was at my other job?" Kara asked in her chipper tone.
"Well… It's been quiet most of the day. I was thinking of just finishing of my report from an alien we apprehended earlier and then take the rest of the day off." Maggie had already texted me and I had agreed to meet her at the bar.
"Great, let's go have dinner together then!" Kara was really excited. I didn't want to tell her about my plans with Maggie as I knew she would worry that I would get hurt again.
"Sorry, Kara, not tonight. I need to go see Maggie." I didn't want to lie to her either.
"You're seeing Maggie? Alex! She broke your heart!" Her excitement had turned into disappointment.
"She wants to talk. I don't know if I really want to see her, but I also kinda want to know what she has to say for herself." I knew that Kara would support me no matter what and I therefore didn't need to explain my reasons to her, but at the same time I needed to hear her say that I should go talk to Maggie. That I should at least give her a chance to explain.
"Okay. I guess you should get going then." Her smile was back. "I'll call Winn and force him to watch a movie with me." Kara said with a wink. We both knew that Kara wouldn't need to use any force.
I felt really nervous as I was walking towards the alien bar. My heart beat refused to slow down as I opened the door and walked into the bar. Maggie wasn't to be seen anywhere so I decided to sit down and have a beer to calm my nerves while waiting. Halfway through my beer I looked at the time and discovered that she was now 10 minutes late. This worried me and I couldn't help but feel like she had stood me up. Great, Danvers, first she breaks your heart, now she shredded it completely.
"Alex!" Surprised I turned around to the call of my name. "I'm so sorry that I'm late. I got caught up at work, I would have called but my phone died." Maggie had an apologetic look on her face.
"It's okay, I understand." You're a fool, Alex. You should have told her off, I thought to myself. We ordered another two beers and sat down at a table at the corner of the bar, allowing for privacy.
"I don't want to be your friend." I'm not sure how I managed to say that without any hesitation.
"I don't blame you. But look, Alex, I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't take away the pain." I interrupted her. "Sorry doesn't change the fact that you made me open up to myself, made me come out to Kara. You made me believe that you were actually into me. I like you. Like a lot. And…" I took a deep breath. "And you made me want you too badly. I thought that the reason you made me come out was such that we could be together. I really thought you wanted me." I almost started crying again. I could no longer look at her.
"I never meant to hurt you. And I am definitely into you. Alex. I was wrong. I mean, I was trying to do the right thing ensuring that I wouldn't be leading you on and eventually break your heart. As I said, you're fresh of the boat and you should be allowed to experiment and properly discover this new side of you. You should be allowed time figure out what you want. The truth is that you wouldn't be able to do this if you tie yourself down into a relationship, at least not a serious one."
"So? I don't care that I'm fresh off the boat. That doesn't mean I don't know what I want. What I want is to feel like I belong. I want to be serious with someone, and be all mushy and stuff. Sure, I want to explore myself, but really, I only need one person to do that with. Maggie, I want that person to be you. And since you were in fact leasing me on, you ended up hurting me pretty badly no matter what you intended." I realised I had stood up and took a quick decision that I wasn't in the mood to discuss this any further as I mentally couldn't handle anymore pain. "Make up your mind, Maggie. Either you want me and we'll be together, seriously. Or you don't want me and we will part ways; because I don't think I can handle having you around right now if you're not mine. I don't know if I ever will be able to."
"Alex, please…" I heard Maggie call after me as I basically stormed out the bar as I couldn't handle hearing her reply to what I had just said. Deep down I knew she wasn't going to change her mind due to me not having gained any further being gay experience. The tears started to once again run down my cheeks. I silently cried while running as fast as my legs allowed. I felt a hand grabbing my arm forcing me to turn around. Everything happened to fast, next thing I knew was the feeling of her lips pressed tightly against my own, her arms holding me close. It took me a second to realise what was going on, but after that I gave in and kissed her back. As we broke apart I looked her into her eyes. In that moment I would have sworn that if she hurt me one more time I would never want to see her again. But that's when she said those words I so desperately wanted to hear her say.
"I choose you, Alex." Her eyes screamed sincerity.
"Yeah?" I didn't want to believe it.
"Always." She said as she wiped the tears from my face. "I mean it. I'm so sorry for the pain I caused you. Truth is that I probably was even more terrified than you. Alex, you mean so much to me and I just really don't want to screw it up. I don't want to lose you."
"I don't want to lose you either." I said and was on the verge of tears again. Maggie smiled at me and I smiled back at her.
"Come here." She said and pulled me in to another kiss, this time a lot more tender. I took a chance and allowed my tongue to try and slip into her mouth. She allowed for it and my heart literally skipped a beat. French kissing this amazing woman felt so different from any time I've allowed a man to do that to me. It was such an incredible sensation I never wanted to stop feeling. I'm unable to describe how right this felt; how in this moment I could basically die and it would be alright as it couldn't ever possibly get any better than right that instant. Truth is that I felt greedy, I wanted more, I wanted to truly feel her, I wanted to kiss her all over and give her as much pleasure as I could.
"Your place or mine?" She said in between kisses. It was so unrealistic that this was actually happening.
"Mine?" I suggested.
"Sure. Let's go then." Maggie grabbed my hand as we made our way to my apartment.
We barely managed to get inside my apartment when I pushed her up against the door. Our lips barely broke apart as we, with a sense of desperation, continued to explore each other. My hand slipped under her shirt. Her skin was so soft. My fingers traced up her stomach, my hand eventually reached her chest and I grabbed one of her breasts on top of her bra. Her hand slid down my back, she grabbed my ass and pulled me even tighter. Desperately wanting to undress her I dragged her further into the apartment. I pushed her down on the couch and crawled on top of her, straddling her. I pulled my shirt over my head, Maggie stared at me and smiled as she bites her lip. I bent down and kissed her again. My hands once again slipped underneath her shirt, this time with the agenda to relieve her of it. I broke the kissing to pull her shirt off.
Maggie managed to flip us around such that she's laying on top of me. The feeling of her skin against mine, her breasts pressed against mine, gave me a serious attack of butterflies. She sat up slightly and dragged her hands down my stomach. When she reached my pants she looked at me for approval and I nodded at her. She unzipped them and I raised my hips such that she could pull them off me. She laid back down on top of me, our tongues once again caressing each other. Maggie slid her hand underneath my panties and I couldn't help it but moan when her fingers rubbed across my clit. She slid her fingers down further and before I knew it I felt two of them inside me. For once Maggie wasn't being mean, there wasn't too much teasing, but plenty of pleasing. It felt like she was doing magic; never before had I come so quickly. My orgasm had pretty much paralysed me but I managed to pull her in for another kiss. I couldn't get enough of her lips.
We got up and I showed her the way into my bed room. I felt a bit nervous as I had never touched another woman before. I got both of us out of the remainder of our clothes. Embracing, our naked bodies intertwined on top of my bed. I tried my best to do to her what she had done to me just a few minutes prior. By the sounds she was making I assumed I was doing something right. It felt a bit strange having my fingers inside her, but in a good way. Not long after I felt her contract as my effort pushed her over the edge.
We ended up cuddling afterwards and in the end fell asleep in each others arms.
The next morning, still in bed, I looked at my phone to see a message from Kara.
'I hope you're okay and everything went well.'
'I'm good. Never better, actually. I could get used to waking up like this every morning. And by 'this' I mean waking up naked next to the woman of my dreams.' I hit send.