A/N: So this is just a smutty oneshot (with just a little bit of angst) that is not related to any of my other stories. It's a missing scene from "Living Proof" following the "my captain raydor" exchange between Brenda and her parents. Whichwas the gayest thing on that entire show. It was gayer than Morales talking about his boyfriend. Incidentally, I wrote this on the train on my way to work. That unassuming girl sitting quietly across from you is writing lesbian erotica on that phone. #notashamed.
Brenda/Sharon established relationship.
Brenda breathes a sigh of relief as she slumps against her office door. "You should have seen your face." Brenda smiles, but doesn't open her eyes; she would know that silky voice anywhere.
"You should have seen yours." She tosses back, heaving her weary body off the frame of her door and prying her eyes open. Her smile deepens as she sees Sharon Raydor sitting comfortably in her chair, a ding dong already unwrapped and waiting for her. Brenda sashays over to Sharon, snatching the ding dong on her way. She settles onto Sharon's lap, wrapping her arm around the other woman's shoulders. She takes a bite of the ding dong and closes her eyes in pleasure before pressing a chocolate flavored kiss to Sharon's lips. Sharon hums against her mouth, licking at the cream filling sticking to her lips. Brenda sighs when she pulls away and buries her face in her captain's neck. She presses a kiss to the soft skin behind Sharon's ear and sighs in pleasure when Sharon strokes her back.
"My Captain Raydor." Brenda repeats, but this time it is an endearment, soft and sweet and laced with affection. She can feel Sharon smiling.
"It is a pretty apt description." She says quietly. "What else could you call me?" Brenda lifts her head to look at her Captain. The minute Brenda's eyes connect with hers, the troubled expression on Sharon's face vanishes and is replaced by a teasing smile. "And after all," she continues, "we both know you have me wrapped around your little finger." Brenda's face breaks into a radiant grin. "You're worse than my kids." She teases and Brenda kisses her again, just brushing her lips.
They are silent for long moments, just soaking up each other's warmth until Brenda says quietly, "I'd like to meet them. Your kids." Sharon's smile fades and she regards Brenda.
"I'm not sure about that, Chief." She says finally, enunciating each word clearly in that way she does that Brenda knows means she is thinking a million things at once.
"Why?" Brenda asks lightly.
Sharon sighs. "Because I can't bring home 'my Deputy Chief Johnson' without my kids asking a million questions and I don't have any answers."
"Questions like what?" Brenda asks softly. She knows Sharon will never force them to have this conversation, never push Brenda to define this thing that has been growing between them. But Brenda thinks she owes it to Sharon to at least give her the chance to say some of the things that are undoubtedly running through her mind.
Sharon regards her for several long moments. She knows what Brenda is doing and isn't sure if she wants to take this chance.
"Like who you are to me." She finally says softly, then shakes her head. "Like who I am to you." She corrects. "If we're dating, why you wear a wedding ring, whether it's wise to be sleeping with my boss." It is so typical of Sharon to be so blunt that Brenda almost smiles.
"I'm not your boss, really." She says because what else can she? Sharon smiles.
"No, I suppose you're not, despite how much you would like to be." The creases at the corner of her eyes let Brenda know she is teasing.
"Do you want me to leave him?" Brenda asks quietly, pretending she isn't terrified of the answer. The long pause is the most terrifying moment of Brenda's life. She isn't ready for this.
"Yes." Sharon says firmly. "I want you to divorce him and move in with me and meet my kids and file joint income tax returns and tell Pope that I'm your partner." Brenda sucks in a breath. "But I can't ask you for that. I won't, because it's a terrible idea." Oh. Brenda blinks up at Sharon because whatever she was expecting it wasn't that, that response or that blunt honesty.
"Why would it be a terrible idea?" Brenda hears herself asking and barely contains her wince. She just can't help herself sometimes and asking the question makes it sound like she wants all that and she doesn't. At least she doesn't think she does. But the insinuation that she wouldn't be a good partner for Sharon rankles like she has been insulted. And something in Brenda is righteously indignant.
"You mean besides the heart attack Pope would surely have?" Brenda waves her hand dismissively.
"Yes, besides for that."
"We're too much alike." Sharon says. "And too different." Brenda huffs.
"What does that even mean?" Sharon laughs and brushes a lock of hair out of Brenda's eyes.
"It means we're both stubborn, rigid, inflexible and independent." Brenda can't argue that.
"But we've overcome our difference here at work." Brenda argues. She isn't sure why she is debating this other than the fact that if Sharon is right about this, then somehow she is wrong and that just won't do. Sharon fixes her with a piercing gaze.
"Do you want to leave your husband for me, Brenda?"
"Well, I…I wasn't sayin', that isn't what I...that's not the point, Captain!"
"Then what is the point, Brenda?" Sharon asks seriously and Brenda deflates, sighing heavily and burying her face in Sharon's neck.
"I could make you happy." Brenda grumbles into Sharon's skin. Sharon actually laughs.
"Oh Brenda." Brenda whips her head up.
"Why is that funny?" She snaps angrily. The smile doesn't fade from Sharon's face.
"You do make me happy, honey. You make me happier than I've ever been." Brenda seems placated. It isn't often Sharon uses terms of endearment and it warms Brenda's heart when she does.
"You make me happy, too." Brenda admits softly, rewarding Sharon's admission with a soft kiss to the sensitive skin on her neck.
"It's enough for me, Brenda." Sharon continues, her voice quiet but sincere. "Having you sometimes is enough for me." For some reason that makes Brenda incredibly sad because Sharon deserves more. Sharon is the most amazing woman Brenda has ever known and she deserves somebody who can give her everything, a real commitment, and be with her all the time.
"I'm not holding you back?" Brenda asks, almost terrified to hear the answer.
"No, you're not." Sharon says firmly. She strokes Brenda's long hair. "I tried, you know." Sharon says after a long pause. "I tried to meet someone else, to date other people, to fall for someone." Brenda raises her head. She hadn't known that, actually. "But I just couldn't. Every woman I went out with I compared to you and no one was ever as brilliant, as beautiful or as engaging as you. None of them made me laugh like you." Sharon sighs and traces the shape of Brenda's lips. "None of them made me feel the way you do. I've resigned myself to being the latest victim to Brenda's Leigh Johnson's irresistible charm." Brenda smiles wide enough to reveal her dimples. "I don't settle." Sharon says strongly. "You are the one I want and I'll take what I can get because you're the one I need."
"Sharon…" Brenda is speechless. She had no idea…
"And we work like this, Brenda. We're good together like this. I see no reason to push for more and ruin what we have." So Sharon, Brenda thinks, so typically Sharon. So concerned with the bottom falling out that she won't ever take a risk, step outside the boundaries. Her cautious Captain Raydor. Her damaged Sharon who has been hurt as much as Brenda herself has. Her lover who so fiercely guards her beautiful heart.
Brenda can't. She can't have this conversation right now. She can't be feeling these things. Her parents are in the murder room and Fritz is lurking about and it's the god-awful holidays and this case is falling apart before her very eyes. She just can't do this now. So she reverts to hers and Sharon's common ground, their solid level.
"So you didn't have sex with any of these women you went out with, did you then?" She keeps her voice light and teasing making sure Sharon knows she isn't really angry and Sharon smiles, looking almost relieved at being back in this comfortable place.
"That's a pretty personal question." She teases back. "It would bother you if I had then?" She jokes. Brenda growls low in her throat.
"Sharon Raydor!" She exclaims and she's still playing this game, still teasing. She thinks. Although the thought of Sharon sleeping with someone else definitely raise her ire. Sharon just smirks and cocks her head. She lets Brenda wait and stew and start to worry just a little before she shakes her head. "No." She admits finally. "I haven't been with anybody other than you." Brenda's devilish smirk is extremely self-satisfied. She shifts on Sharon's lap so she is straddling her, skirt bunched up at her waist.
"Is that right?" Brenda settles more comfortably on her knees above Sharon and Sharon's hands automatically come to rest at the curve of her waist. She almost tells Sharon she hasn't been with anybody else, either, that she doesn't sleep with Fritz anymore, but decides against it. This is about them now. "Well, Captain." Brenda lips drop to Sharon's neck, just brushing her skin. "You're just a closet romantic aren't you?" Her voice has dropped to that low, husky tone that never fails to make Sharon shiver with delicious want. "Why don't I…" She lets her teeth scrape Sharon's flesh. "remind you…" A nip to her throat. "Why something like that…" A flick of her tongue to Sharon's earlobe. "Would never EVER…" A lewd suckle. "Be necessary." Brenda swallows Sharon's choked moan with a fiery kiss. She kisses Sharon like she hasn't done so in years, lips bruising and tongue delving deeply. She holds Sharon's face in her hands, keeping her locked into the deep kiss. When she feels Sharon give in, tongue coming to play and twine with Brenda's own, she lets her hands twist in Sharon's luxurious hair, fisting the soft strands. Sharon's lips meld and mesh with hers and Brenda can feel her smile against her mouth. She chases the dark, exotic taste of their kiss into Sharon's mouth and drags herself away from the intoxicating flavor only when she can't ignore her need to taste the rest of Sharon's skin. Sharon's fingers dig into her hips as Brenda samples the skin of her neck, sucking and nipping hard enough to leave a hickey. Sharon moans and shifts as she feels Brenda leave her mark. "My Captain Raydor." Brenda husks into her ear, sucking on the lobe. Sharon moans again, then gasps as Brenda cups her breast, squeezing through her blazer. Brenda licks across her collarbone, dipping into the hollow of her throat, sensitizing the vulnerable flesh. Her nimble fingers work open the buttons on Sharon's jacket and her hands cover the soft skin she reveals, stroking over silk covered breasts and soft belly. Brenda groans as Sharon's nipples harden against her palms and she dips her head to suckle one, laving it with her tongue through the fabric. Sharon groans and fists her hands in Brenda's hair, holding the woman's warm mouth to her breast. Brenda scratches down Sharon's sides with blunt nails. She feels Sharon's hips shift in the chair, searching for friction and she smirks against the older woman's skin.
Brenda tears her mouth away from Sharon and looks up at her flushed lover. With a wicked grin, she slides down the chair to her knees. Sharon moans and arches her hips. She is hot and uncomfortably wet and Brenda is stroking along the muscles of her tense thighs. Brenda leans in to nuzzle Sharon's stomach, swiftly unbuttoning her pants. Sharon lifts her hips automatically and Brenda tugs the slacks down over her hips. She rests her cheek on Sharon's thigh, kissing the skin and stroking up and down lean, muscled legs. "You have the most gorgeous legs." Brenda whispers and feels Sharon sift her fingers through her hair.
With gentle pressure, Brenda urges Sharon's legs apart, groaning when the woman's musky scent reaches her nostrils. She presses a hand to Sharon's silk covered mound and melts at the ocean of wetness that instantly warms her hand. "Brenda." Sharon whispers and Brenda snaps her head up. Sharon strokes her cheek. The woman in looking down at Brenda with such awe, such lust and desire and reverence that it makes Brenda melt. She surges up to capture Sharon's lips in a soulful kiss.
"Baby." Brenda whispers, suddenly overwhelmed. "Baby." She doesn't know what else to say, how to put everything she is feeling into words and so she vows to show Sharon. With a final kiss she sinks back to her knees, instantly tugging off Sharon's underwear. Sharon gasps when the cool air hits the slick, hot flesh between her legs. Brenda urges her legs further apart, opening Sharon and spreading the sticky wet lips of her sex. She covers her with her mouth, immediately licking from base to tip, swirling her tongue around Sharon's throbbing clit then traveling back down, flicking around her sensitive entrance. Sharon moans in pleasure and relief at finally feeling Brenda's hot wet mouth against her. Brenda's fingernails dig into Sharon's hips as she drowns in the taste of her Captain's arousal. Brenda licks firmer, sucking one swollen labia into her mouth, bathing it with her tongue, then the other. Sharon is desperately arching her hips, blindingly searching for more of that hot silky mouth. Brenda twirls her tongue around Sharon's opening, tracing the shape of her soft folds before dipping inside, her tongue instantly coated in Sharon's juices. Brenda groans at the delicious flavor and the vibration shoot straight up Sharon's bowed spine, suffusing her with little shivers.
Sharon desperately grabs Brenda's head, holding it firmly against her sex, reveling in the moist tongue thrusting inside of her. Pulses of white hot pleasure pound deep inside of her and she finds her hips thrusting in time to Brenda's tongue, desperately urging the muscle deeper, craving its texture against her most secret spot. Brenda nudges Sharon's clit with her nose and reaches a hand up to rub Sharon's quivering belly. Her muscles ripple as her hips writhe and Brenda's moves with her, dipping her head. She cups a full breast pinching hard nipple and Sharon's howl body jerks as she feels the electric shock of Brenda's touch in every nerve.
"Yes!" She gasps, dissolving into shivers. She slumps further into the chair, offering Brenda easier access and Brenda buries her face further in her delectable lover. She blindly grasps Sharon's powerful thighs and urges them over her shoulder, opening all of Sharon to her, demanding everything. Sharon groans as her legs splay lewdly open and Brenda's hand comes around her back, squeezing her ass and holding her up. Sharon's grip tightens in Brenda's hair, tugging lightly, and Brenda feels the little tremors in Sharon's body that let her know she is close. She reluctantly pulls her tongue rom the tight sheath of her lovers' body and teases her way up to her clit, immediately taking the bud between her lips and licking it firmly.
They don't have much time. Brenda knows this. Everyone is right outside and dinner will be ready soon. But she wants Sharon to come. She wants to send her flying over the edge of bliss and feel those soft strong muscles fluttering and taste the flood of her orgasm. Sharon's hips are rocking and tensing, canting up and reaching for her peak so Brenda does the one thing she knows will break her goddess. With a final suck lick swirl to her clit Brenda captures the bud between her teeth and bites.
With a sharp cry, a spasm and a jerk of hips, Sharon is coming, rocking against Brenda's mouth, panting, moaning and clutching Brenda's scalp, heels digging into her back.
Sharon sees stars as she comes, body shaking and hips writhing against Brenda's talented mouth. She must be hurting Brenda; her grip on the woman's blonde hair is so tight and she's riding out her climax with sharp thrusts of her hips, but Brenda just licks and sucks, moaning against her sex. All Sharon's electrified body knows is that if Brenda stops she will die and she squeezes tighter with her legs, gasping and moaning as wave after wave of pleasure washes over her.
Brenda savors the tremors of Sharon's body, plunging her tongue deeply into Sharon's molten core and feeling her muscles clench and release around her tongue. She licks and sucks on her clit, the bead throbbing. Brenda spreads her palms over every inch of Sharon's skin she can reach. She caresses her thighs, her hips, her belly, soft touches and gentle strokes over sensitive flesh.
She feels Sharon come down slowly; her hips stop writhing and her thighs fall back open. Her grip slackens on Brenda's hair and the contraction so of her body soften. Brenda pushes a tender finger into Sharon's recovering sex and Sharon tightens around her eagerly. Brenda just holds the finger still, offering the pressure, the hardness, something for Sharon to clench around, to enhance the little bolts of ecstasy pulsing through her spent body.
When Sharon comes back to herself she moans languidly and smoothes Brenda's hair back where it is mussed from her fingers. Brenda pulls her finger from Sharon's warmth and covers Sharon's fluttering opening with her mouth, licking broad strokes over where is swollen and wet. She gathers Sharon's juices, the delicious evidence of her pleasure, on her tongue and swallows. She continues to lick softly, circling Sharon's entrance, cleaning her and feeling her thighs tense with every twirl on her tongue. Reluctantly, she pulls away from her lover and sits back on her heels. She can't help the smug little grin that curls her lips. Her Sharon is sex personified in the aftermath of her bliss. Her blouse is unbuttoned and hanging off her shoulders, her silk bra askew on her heaving breasts and wet over her still hard nipple from Brenda's mouth. Her skin is flushed and slick with sweat and her thighs are still parted obscenely, center deep pink and glistening. Her eyes are closed tightly and her lips are parted as they gasp for breath. Brenda's entire body warms; she did this to Sharon. She rumpled and mussed and satisfied buttoned up, professional Captain Raydor. She made her undone and wanton. In the middle of the day, with her team and her family right outside. She shivers at the delicious naughtiness of it all, at the side of herself only Sharon has ever brought out.
Brenda brings herself out of musing to keel over Sharon' slap again. Sharon smiles at the feel of her lover's familiar weight and warmth and automatically wraps shaking arms around her back. Her eyes flutter open and she laughs at the expression on Brenda's face. Sharon has never seen her look so self-satisfied. Sharon kisses her lips and moans at the taste of herself, earthy and tangy, on Brenda's mouth.
"Mmmm." She hums languidly. "I think that convinced me I don't need to look anywhere else." Brenda grins, both at Sharon's words and the sex roughened husk of her voice.
"Well good. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, Captain." Brenda teases, pressing another soft kiss to Sharon's lips.
"Always." Sharon says lightly, rubbing her hands up and down Brenda's back. "Although," her voice drops and Brenda can't help but shiver at the tone she knows so well. "I don't think I'm done enjoying myself…" She trails her fingers up the inside of Brenda's thigh, towards the source of the heat she can already feel warming Brenda's flesh. But Brenda halts her erotic journey with a firm hand to her wrist.
"We can't." She says regretfully. "We've already been gone too long." Sharon sighs and deflates.
"I know." She says softly. Brenda cups her lovers beautiful face in soft palms.
"Soon." She whispers, kissing her chastely.
"Tonight?" Brenda's heart aches at the hopeful tone in Sharon's voice.
"Maybe." She says, although she knows the chances of her sneaking away from her parents and her husband on Christmas are slim to none. No matter how much she wants to spend at least part of it with Sharon. "I'll try." Sharon sighs.
"I'll wait for you, Brenda." Sharon sighs and Brenda knows she will. Just as they both know she will go to Sharon eventually.