Communion
"Jeez, it's just a communion! Would you stop messing with your tie?" Kevin asked exasperatedly, looking over at his husband, who was fidgeting in the seat next to him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just–" Connor turned around in his seat and reached into the second row, fumbling around for a second before coming back up with a small box. "I don't think I picked the right one, and there were just so many to choose from… I don't want to pick the wrong one…" He trailed off, looking hopelessly into the box.
Kevin laughed a little. "None of those ties will ever look good on you, Connor. I promise, it doesn't matter which you pick."
The box of ties had been a gift to the two of them on their second anniversary from Arnold Cunningham, Kevin's old mission companion and a mutual friend of the couple. Although they'd received the box a month ago, (a good six weeks late), neither man had been able to bring himself to wear one. They were very typically Arnold, meaning that the first three in the box featured Spock, and the rest were devoted to Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, and various Pokémon characters.
Connor looked jealously over at Kevin's tie, which was solid black with a simple "Live Long and Prosper" written in a pale gold font on the bottom. "I still can't believe I let you go through the box without me," he groaned. "You got the only reasonable tie in the whole collection."
"Well, that's what you deserve for taking the plain gold cufflinks from the set he gave us last year," said Kevin, grinning. "I can't believe you left me with the Enterprise-shaped ones! Wearing them to the gala was just humiliating."
"Yeah, well, you needed to be taken down a peg. Remember? That was the same weekend you discovered hair gel." Connor laughed at the memory. "You thought you were so cool, parading around like you owned the place."
"Well, you certainly didn't seem to mind," said Kevin. "You practically ripped my clothes off in the middle of the dance floor!" He laughed. "I can't say we helped Nabu's cause all that much, but I guess we were entertaining." The last big event the two had attended in Boston was a fundraiser for the Ugandan school started by Nabulungi, Arnold's wife of four years and also an old friend of Kevin and Connor.
Connor smiled, then looked back in the side-view mirror. "I can't believe I have to wear this," he said, shaking his head. "I mean, a close-up of Darth Vader's helmet? Really, Arnold?" He quickly untied it and threw it back in the box. "How can a girl with such great fashion taste let her husband give these as gifts?" He threw his hands up in frustration.
Kevin chuckled. "I mean, it's not like you had the best fashion sense when you were in Uganda, sweetie. I recall there being a certain blue-and-gold flower print tie you wore for one week straight? And a red and green one with the same dancing reindeer pattern over and over and over again around both Christmases we spent there?"
"Hey, at least I learned!" countered Connor indignantly. "I don't think Arnold is ever going to change."
"No, probably not," sighed Kevin. "But you know what? He's a great guy with a big heart, and that's never going to change, either."
Connor smiled, then leaned over and gave his husband a quick kiss on the lips.
"Hey! Connor! I need to keep my eyes on the road!" said Kevin, pulling away.
"Oh, you know you love me," said Connor. He pulled out another tie, this one all brown with a small picture of Yoda in the corner.
"Hey Kevin!"
"What?"
"Do you think I can pull this one off?"
-––––––––––––––-––
A few hours later, Kevin and Connor pulled onto Arnold and Nabu's street, a little tired but ready to celebrate Luke's first communion with their friends.
"Which house is it again?" asked Kevin, rubbing his eyes.
"Really, Kev?" Connor pointed out the giant banner hanging in front of one of the houses – "HAPPY FIRST COMMUNOUN, LUCAS AGIBU CUNNINGHAM!"
Kevin shook his head. "Commu-noun? Oh, Arnold." He smiled. "That boy sure is enthusiastic though. Those letters are huge!"
"Ha, yeah, I guess so," said Connor. "He's really excited about this. I don't know why, but I'm always surprised when I visit them to see that they're still practicing. I guess I always figured that everyone would sort of stop once our missions were over. I mean, it wasn't like we were Mormons any more, and I for one certainly wasn't going to continue with The Church of Arnold."
Kevin laughed. "Yeah, I guess it took Nabu a while to get used to the fact that Arnold had just made all of it up."
Suddenly serious, Connor turned to his husband and said, "Kevin, I'm still not even sure if she gets that. I mean, I think that she thinks that a lot of it was still inspired by Heavenly Father."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Connor bit his lip, something he often did when he was worried. Normally it turned Kevin on immensely, but this was serious. Pulling his eyes away from Connor's lips, Kevin took his hand and looked straight at him.
"Do you think – I mean, should we tell her? Is that even right?" His eyes grew wide. "Oh, oh, my goodness."
"What?"
Kevin pulled over on the side of the street, a few houses away from Arnold's. "Oh, Connor, does this mean he's bringing Luke up in the Church of Arnold?"
"Kevin…"
"What?"
"You know what." Connor took Kevin's other hand in his. "We've had this discussion before. Yes, Arnold made most of this stuff up, but honestly I'm not even sure if he remembers what's fact and what's fiction. Remember the teaching that we based all our lessons on back in Uganda – it doesn't matter if the testimony is sent by Heavenly Father or if it comes from within, if it's completely original or influenced by other stories that we've heard. If the message rings true…"
"… It's right for you," finished Kevin. "I know. I know. It just seems so… wrong. To let Luke grow up thinking that Moroni lived on a starship, or that he should look up to a man who was stupid enough to have sex with a frog." He took his hands away and put them in his lap. "I love Arnold and Nabu, I really do, but –"
"But nothing," said Connor, cutting off Kevin in the middle of his sentence. "They're bringing Luke up with the right values and a good moral compass and that's all that really matters."
Kevin looked at his husband.
"I love you so much," he said, smiling softly. "You're such a wonderful person. I'm so lucky you're mine."
"I know," said Connor. "I love you too. I don't know what I'd do without you." He leaned over and gave Kevin a soft kiss. Kevin reciprocated more fiercely, putting his hand on Connor's neck and pulling him close.
"Mmmm." Connor smiled against Kevin's lips, then pulled away before they could get any more entangled.
"Come on, Kevin. Don't get me started now. We have a Communion to attend."
Rolling his eyes, Kevin faced the wheel again and pulled back onto the little street. Turning into Arnold and Nabu's driveway, he laughed a little.
"What?" Connor looked over at Kevin, confused.
Kevin nodded towards the house. Arnold was standing on the lawn, dressed in white slacks and a white long-sleeved dress shirt, waving his arms over his head like he was flagging down a helicopter.
"KEVIN! CONNOR! YOU'RE HERE!" he bellowed, his whole face grinning.
"Oh, no," groaned Connor good-naturedly. "Arnold, please, turn the volume down!"
"Or turn it off," said Kevin, turning the car off and looking over at his husband with a smile. It was an old joke from Uganda.
"Or turn it off," agreed Connor. Stepping out of the car, he walked over to his friend. "Hey Arnold!" He was greeted by a bone-crushing hug.
"HI ELDER MCK– I MEAN, HI CONNOR!"
Connor shook his head. He'd known Arnold for what, going on six years now? And still, just about every time they'd get together, Arnold would slip up and call him Elder. "Hi, Arnold," he repeated, reciprocating the hug, although not as strongly.
Fortunately, he was relived from Arnold's boa-constrictor-like grip as Kevin stepped out of the car. Suddenly, Arnold was gone, running at Kevin at full speed. "KEVIN!"
"Hey there, buddy," said Kevin. Then, realizing what he'd said, he winced. It had taken him a really long time to get over the holier-than-thou attitude he'd acquired during his high school and missionary-training days, and he still often slipped back into it when he was with Arnold, who, despite having known him for eight years, still had a major hero-worship thing going on. Kevin really did his best to address Arnold with the respect that he felt for him, but old habits die hard.
Returning Arnold's over-enthusiastic hug with a smile and a hug of his own, Kevin looked over to see Nabulungi standing in the doorway of the little house dressed in a plain white dress with a pink palm-tree apron. Her stomach, he was surprised to see, was looking a little bigger than normal.
"I wonder…" thought Kevin.
Connor, precariously balancing two pies on one arm, made his way over to Nabu. "Well hello there, you lovely woman," he said, offering her one of the pies.
"Oh, Connor," she said in the adorable Ugandan accent she'd retained even after several years in the United States. "You're too much. Really."
"My pleasure." He kissed her on the cheek. "Who else is here?"
"Just you two, and Tom and Miranda." Nabalungi took the pie and brought it inside. Connor followed, greeting the couple with a wave of his free hand.
Thomas Smith had been another missionary with Kevin, Arnold, and Connor in Uganda. He had met his wife, Miranda, a little over a year ago when he was studying at Boston University, and they'd gotten married just a week after he graduated. They both decided to stay in Boston, and ended up living just a few minutes from Arnold and Nabu's house. Connor had never really gotten to know Tom all that well, so it was a pleasure, if a little awkward at first, to see him at get-togethers at the Cunninghams'.
Meanwhile, Kevin was detangling himself from Arnold's grasp and making his way inside. "Hi, everyone!" he called out. Then, seeing Nabulungi struggling to balance his husband's expertly baked pie and open the refrigerator door, he quickly went over and took it out of her hands.
"Let me take care of that," he said, placing it down on the counter and taking off the plastic wrap. He gave her a one-armed hug, but she grabbed her other arm and pulled him into a real hug.
"Uh.. Hi, Nabu!" Kevin said, quickly pulling away and finishing unwrapping the cake. He never could get used to her over-enthusiastic Ugandan welcome. She greeted everyone that way, but Kevin still glanced up guiltily. Sure enough, Connor was looking at Nabu with fire in his eyes.
"Oh, come off it, Connor," Kevin thought. "She's just happy and excited we're here." Still, he went over and slung his arm around his husband's waist to reassure him. That seemed to brighten Connor up and he gave Kevin a quick kiss before going over to help Nabu with the plastic plates.
Just then, little Luke came running down the steps from his bedroom, barreling into Kevin with the strength of a jungle cat. "Uncle Kevin!" he yelled. "You're here!"
Kevin smiled enthusiastically, "Hey there, Luke! How's my favorite godkid?" He picked up the three-year-old, twirling him around and finally sitting him on his hip.
"I'm your only godkid, Uncle Kevin," pouted the tyke.
"You're still my favorite little buddy," said Kevin, handing him over to Connor. "Besides, you haven't said hi to Uncle Connor yet!"
Connor looked somewhat bewildered, but he gave Luke a little kiss and put him down on the floor. Crouching down to his level, he said, "Are you excited for your, um, first communion?"
"Yep!" shouted Luke, with all the enthusiasm of his father. "Daddy told me all about how now that I'm old enough, I get to have my communion, which means I get to have cake representing the love between the Father – that's Heavenly Father – and his son, Jesus, and then I get my first little shiny circle thing!" He pointed proudly to the collar of his shirt, bare and ready for a badge.
"It's called a rank insignia, Luke," said Arnold, coming in from the outside.
Kevin shook his head and smiled at all the traditions getting mixed up in Arnold's interpretation of the Church. Connor shot him a warning look, but it wasn't necessary.
"That sounds so exciting, Luke." said Kevin, sitting down on the couch beside Tom.
"Oh, yeah!" shouted Luke, his arms around Connor's neck again. Connor obliged, picking him up and carrying him over to the couch where he sat down with the three-year-old on his lap. They began making faces, each trying to outdo the other. Connor giggled so much that Luke almost fell off his lap.
Kevin looked over at his husband playing with the boy and smiled. "He's such a wonderful man. He's going to make an amazing father one day," he thought. "I'm so lucky to have him for my very own."
Just then Nabulungi came in with a great big cake on a platter. Kevin had never really understood what exactly Arnold thought communion was supposed to be; Arnold's interpretations of Christian doctrine were always new, strange, and a little softer than traditional teachings, but… cake?
Luke bounced off Connor's lap and ran to his mother, jumping up and knocking her arm to the side. This cake slipped out of her hands and right into Kevin's open lap.
"OH, NO!" yelled Arnold, running to scoop up as much of the cake as he could from the couch and floor. "I'M SO SORRY! IT'S OKAY, LUKE DIDN'T MEAN TO!"
Nabulungi touched her husband gently on the arm to remind him about volume, then turned to Kevin and said, "Kevin, honey, I'm sorry."
"Oh, it's no problem Nabu. Don't worry about it." He looked hopelessly at his white pants and shirt, stained beyond immediate repair. "Do you by any chance, um, have a change of clothes?"
Arnold looked relieved. "Oh, YEAH! Right down the hall and to the left is a linen closet. I have PLENTY in there for you."
"Thanks, Arnold," said Kevin, proud of himself for getting it right this time. He detached himself from the sticky couch. Looking from left to right as he walked down the hall, keeping an eye out for the closet, he didn't notice Connor sneaking up behind him until it was too late.
"Hey there," said Connor, sneaking his arms around Kevin from behind.
"Mmm, hey sweetie," said Kevin, turning around to give Connor a kiss. "Why aren't you in the living room with everyone else? You're going to miss cake number two!"
"I couldn't let my husband get changed all alone in a strange house, now could I?" teased Connor.
"It's not exactly a strange – oh!" Kevin smiled. "Really, Connor? Now?"
"Hey look! It's the linen closet!" Connor opened the door and, grabbing Kevin, pulled him inside. Fortunately it was on the bigger side, for a closet. Connor backed up against one of the walls and, dodging hangers, pulled Kevin closer to him.
"Mmmm, Connor."
"Kevin, I love you so much."
"I know. I know. I love you too. I –" He was cut off by Connor's lips crashing into his own, hungry and excited.
"You're covered in cake. Let's get you out of those pants."
"No... no objections there," said Kevin breathlessly, his hands under Connor's shirt.
Suddenly the door-activated light switched on.
"Uncle Kevin? Uncle Connor?"