Title: EPILOGUE TO BBM
Author: Brokeback Mountain
Rating: R (Mature theme)
Disclaimer: These wonderful characters belong to Annie Proulx.
Warning: Ennis's last words.
Summary: Junior is puzzled by her daddy's last words.
Epilogue to BBM
They had been married barely three years when she got the call. She
and Kurt hurried down the hospital hall to room 406. Her daddy lay
there in bed, barely a bump in the blankets; he had gotten so thin;
his breathing labored and raspy. It wouldn't be long, she could
tell.
"Daddy. I'm here." She took his hand and held it tightly.
"Junior?" A wheezing cough gripped him.
"Yes, Daddy. I came as soon as I heard. Why didn't you tell anyone
you was sick?" Tears stung her eyes. She shouldn't have asked
that. Ennis Del Mar would never tell anybody anything and she knew
it.
"Listen Baby; I need you to do something for me." The words came
out slowly, with great effort.
"Anything Daddy, anything." She brought his hand, IV tube and all
up to her cheek.
"In my trailer...the closet…" He stopped as another spasm of
coughing gripped him. "..there's a coupla shirts hanging inside the
door. I want you to put them on me." He squeezed his eyes shut then
opened them and went on. "Just like they're hanging. Blue shirt
first, white one on the outside. Hear me?" He tried to raise his
voice but could only muster a hoarse whisper. "Don't go washing or
ironing them; just like they are. I want to be cremated in them. I
need you to take the ashes up to Brokeback Mountain. It's where I
belong. It's where I want to be." He seemed to be drifting now; in
and out. "Can you do that for me Junior? Can you do that?" His
eyes mostly closed now.
"Yes Daddy." Sounded more like the wail of a wounded animal than
anything else.
"We'll do just that for you Daddy Ennis." Kurt reached across the
bed and gripped the other pale hand.
"We'll do exactly as you ask."
"Thank you" barely a whisper now. Eyes fluttered then
closed. "Jack...Jack..." He was gone.
They drove the borrowed pickup truck up as far as the dirt trail
would allow them then got out and walked a while. They stopped along
side a small stream. "It's so cold and lonely up here. I wonder why
he loved it so." Junior leaned against her husband's shoulder and
clasped the small container against her breast.
"Don't know darlin. It is beautiful. Maybe he found some kind of peace up here that he couldn't find in town. You know he always liked being alone."
She took a few steps forward out of his embrace, like this was something she had to do alone; something just for her Daddy from her. She lifted the lid from the container and watched as the ashes were
carried by the breeze into the trees, the rocky ground beneath their
feet and across the stream.
They were part of Brokeback now; part of its history; part of it's
beauty and like the lazy stream beside them; would go on forever.
Hours later the dusty pickup pulled into Alma's driveway. She looked
up expectantly as Junior came through the door; Kurt waiting out on
the porch.
"All done?" she asked her daughter sadly.
"Uh huh." She went into her Momma's arms and just stood there
holding on. "Momma you always said I could talk to you about
anything. Remember?"
Uh Oh. Here it comes. She knew it would one day. Knew there would
be questions. "Yes baby. I remember." She took her daughter's hand
and walked her to the sofa. "What is it?"
"It was just kinda strange, is all." Junior wiped her eyes and nose
once again on the ragged tissue.
"What was?" Alma prompted, not wanting to have this conversation.
"Daddy had two old shirts hanging in his closet. Two dirty old
shirts he wanted to be wearing when he was cremated. Didn't want
them washed or nothing. They was really dirty. Stained and stiff in
places." She sniffled. "You know anything about them shirts?"
Alma was relieved and amazed. Ennis never cared much about clothes at
all. She was stunned that he had a favorite shirt, let alone
two of them.
"No baby; can't say as I do." She answered truthfully.
"Oh well. It was probably just something in his head. Something he
liked about them. Something he'd never tell anyone. She stood and
walked to the door. "He was kinda confused at the end anyway."
"Confused?" Alma walked her daughter to the door.
"Yeah. At the hospital, he forgot Kurt's name, called him Jack." She walked on out the door and went on her way with her husband.
A cold icy pain stabbed Alma through to the heart. She stumbled to
her chair by the window; lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. The
smoke swirled out her nostrils and as the tears rolled silently down
her cheeks she whispered "Don't worry darlin. Your secret is safe
with me."
THE END