Hey peeps! There sort of might be some spoilers for Fire Emblem: Awakening if you haven't beaten Ch.19 or Paralogue 19. Other than that enjoy the story!

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It was a warm sunny day in the country of Valm. Typically on a day like today, Walhart would be out conquering other villages and forcing the villagers to work under him while reigning as the emperor of Valm with an iron fist. However, that all changed when the Shepherds showed up and defeated him and his army with the miniscule amount of people they had. Now Walhart spends his time wandering around aimlessly wondering what he should do with his life now that the road to conquest is over. He is currently sitting under a big, shady tree near a river watching the fluffy white clouds pass by with his horse.

"What is a former conqueror to do now?", Walhart asked his trusty stead, who shall be named Halwart, that was lying down next to him. Halwart simply whinnied in response. Walhart sighed.

"Look at me!" he said. "I must've gotten pretty pathetic if I'm here talking to you Halwart!" Halwart simply whinnied in response. However, Walhart unperturbed by his horse's nonchalant "responses", continued to question Halwart.

"You don't think I'm pathetic do you Halwart? Do you think I'm still omnipotent and powerful?", questioned Walhart. Halwart simply turned his head, seemingly ignoring his master. Enraged, Walhart stood up and picked up his big red axe, WolfBerg, and pointed it at his horse.

"Answer me!", yelled the red armor clad man. As if to purposely ignore and agitate his owner, Halwart decided to rollover on his side with his back towards Walhart (A/N: Yea I know. I've never seen a horse do this before either. Just go with it). Needless to say, Walhart became enraged.

"Stand up and fight!", yelled the ex-conqueror. Slowly, either because he was being obedient or wanted his master to be quiet, Halwart got up.

"Now", asked Walhart, "Do you still think that I'm the most intrepid man alive or a mere weakling?" Again, Halwart ignored him and Walhart's temper skyrocketed. WolfBerg went flying out his hand and towards Halwart. Unfortunately, Halwart being the peculiar horse he was, chose that exact moment to fall over and sleep on his side, allowing WolfBerg to glide over his head and land on the other side of the river, where it was then taken by a wyvern never to be seen again.

"*Sigh* I am nothing but a weak, former shell of my old self..." mumbled Walhart to himself. Halwart sleep-whinnied in response.

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While Walhart was saying disparaging things to himself, one of the merchant Annas was walking along the riverside when she spotted the former ex-conqueror. Terrified, she automatically hid herself behind the nearest tree.

"Was that really Walhart I just saw? Wasn't he defeated by Chrom and the Shepherds?", Anna asked quietly to herself. She slowly peeked around the trunk of the tree to confirm that she did indeed saw the ex-conqueror Walhart...who was also crying beside his oddly positioned sleeping horse. Hmmm...well that's something you certainly don't see every day, thought Anna as she watched the weeping Walhart. I guess times are hard for him since he doesn't have his huge army or huge ego anymore. Seeing him cry like that shockingly makes me feel sorry for him.

Suddenly Anna had an idea. "I'm a good person aren't I? I think I'll help him! But not before I take some pictures of him first!" Anna took out her snapshot tome and snapped several shots of Walhart crying pathetically next to his sleeping horse. "These will sell out like hotcakes! Cha ching!", Anna said happily to herself and headed over to where Walhart and Halwart were.

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As he heard someone approaching, Walhart instantly willed himself to stop his incessant sobbing. Looking up, he saw Anna walking over to him waving with one hand and carrying her green bag of slightly discounted goods with the other. Walhart quickly stood up and tried to look as intimidating as he possibly could.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU DIMINUTIVE FEMALE?", bellowed Walhart as he fiercely as he could. Anna, having already seen the red armor clad man in such a shameful state that even Grima would pity, calmly ignored his charade and placed her bag down.

"Look I already saw you crying like a baby a little while ago, so don't even try to act like a big tough guy" said Anna smirking. Depressed, Walhart instantly sat down as tears began to form in his eyes and his lips quivering. Sighing, Anna took a seat beside him.

"What's your problem? You can tell me. But I'm gonna have to charge you!" said the red haired merchant with bullion in her eyes. Relaxing a bit, Walhart started.

"Well, I'm depressed bec-"

"One thousand gold please!"

Grumbling, Walhart took out a small bullion from his large red armor and handed it to the red haired merchant.

"Now then as I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted, I'm depressed because I'm not what I used to be. I lost my home, my power, my army, my power, my pride, my power-"

"You mentioned power three times."

"That's because power is everything! I used to be a charismatic person, but now I'm nothing but a worthless weakling! I simply wanted to bring about peace by uniting everyone under one nation! Not only that but I lost WolfBerg, the axe that my mom gave to me at my sweet16 birthday party! Now that I think about it, what kind of mom gives a 16 year old an - HEY ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"

Startled, Anna dropped the gold she was counting.

"What? Am I whistling? I'm not whistling!" said Anna as she placed her gold back in her green bag. Walhart simply glared at the shifty merchant.

"Ok sure I wasn't paying attention too closely a while ago, but I did hear the last bit! Because seriously what kind of mom get her son an axe for his sweet 16?" Walhart shrugged. "Well anyway, I can't help you get back all the other stuff you lost. Chrom certainly wouldn't be too happy about that!" said Anna. Walhart glared at the mention of the Ylissean Exalt's name. Anna cringed. "Er, but I can help you find one of those Wolf burger axe thingies that your mom gave you!"

"You can?!" asked Walhart incredulously.

"Yup! All you have to do is go to a store called Walmart! They have everything there!"

"What? Walhart? There's a store named after me? One of my former soldiers must have given the place its name while thinking of my valor and grandiose power!" yelled the ex-conqueror. Anna sighed.

"I said Walmart. W-A-L-M-A-R-T. Not Walhart, you ninny!"

Walhart blushed. "Oh I see...so where is this so called Walmart?" asked Walhart.

"Well unfortunately, there's no Walmart anywhere in Ylisse. However, I just so happened to have a sister who would be more than happy to send you to a realm with a Walmart-"

"Huzzah!"

"- at a small fee of 20,000 gold!" finished Anna happily. Walhart stared at the merchant.

"You know if I had the ruthlessness that both you and your sisters have as saleswomen, I probably would've conquered the whole world by now", the ex-conqueror said dryly.

"Awwwww stop it! You're making me blush!" said Anna obviously not bothered by his comment.

"...Whatever. Anyway I shall go to this Walmart and buy a brand new WolfBerg! I will bring back some sort of honor to my name because I am Walhart the conqueror!" Fireworks went off in the background.

"Yeah! That's the red armor wearing, white haired, horned, old conquerer we all know and love!...Sort of...I think."

"...Just take me to the Gate."

"Will do, Walhart!"

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Here's the end of the first chapter of my first fanfic! *Performs the worm*. I don't really care about Walhart but I decided to make this story because the first time I saw his name I thought it said Walmart lol. So obviously at the moment, Walhart hasn't entered Walmart yet, but he will in the next chapter! Also, other characters will be appearing too! If I made any grammatical errors please feel free to point them out to me and I will correct them. Sometimes I don't notice them when I proofread my own work. Flames and suggestions are most definitely welcome! I can take the criticism! I'm gonna be writing the next chapter to this story soon hopefully so please look out for it! R&R please! Bye Humans!