Summary: Obi-Wan should know better by now. Written for Diena. I'm kind of ashamed and proud of this at the same time. Rated PG-13ish. Also, please note that the concept for The Rule is lifted almost entirely from "Scrubs".
The Rule
Obi-Wan knew there was something wrong because of the noise - rather, the distinct lack of it. They'd set up their base on this pisshole planet three weeks ago, with clones stationed at distinct points to watch for enemies. Obi-Wan had trouble adjusting to the murky swamp that categorized the surrounding land, but the few times he had been able to doze off, it was with the clanking and constant movements of the clones sounding in the distance.
Tonight, there was no sound; the ruffling of the area's scant foliage, perhaps, but nothing else. Obi-Wan wondered if that was what had jarred him awake. He looked around the cramped corners of the tent he and Anakin had set up several days ago - his former Padawan was also nowhere to be found. Wide awake, now, Obi-Wan shouldered his emergency pack and set out into the crisp night.
He ventured quietly past the makeshift camp, noting that he had not yet seen even one clone soldier. There had not been a rampage, he was certain of it - for one thing, because he would not have slept through it or been left alive or alone; and two, because Anakin would have contacted him by now. The absence of his friend was also extremely curious, and did not waylay Obi-Wan's concern one bit.
He waited for his eyes to adjust, and began to wade into the nearby forest area. He had a lantern to guide his path, but Obi-Wan wasn't sure what he was up against, and did not want to make it obvious that he was on its path, just in case. Several minutes later, he was able to follow the dirt (mud) path easily enough, and was pleased to see familiar footprints up ahead. The size and traction was a perfect match with Anakin's boots, and Obi-Wan sped up his pace.
At last, he came to a clearing. The sight up ahead filled him with immediate relief, and then several questions. Every one of the clones in the battalion were standing in the distance, their backs to the center of the makeshift circle they'd formed with their bodies. As he approached the convocation, Commander Cody met his gaze and gave a short bow. "What is going on here?" Obi-Wan demanded.
"General Kenobi," Cody greeted politely. "We received an urgent message from General Skywalker, Sir. We were instructed to leave the base immediately."
"Whatever for?" Obi-Wan said, squinting. As if on cue, he heard a grunt that he knew could only belong to one person. "Anakin?" he queried, pushing between two of the clones. The young Knight sat squatting in the middle of the circle, his robes pulled up; the look he gave Obi-Wan was one of sheer frustration, and yet, it was all Obi-Wan could do to stifle his laughter. Then he remembered the reason he'd ventured out here in the dead of night to begin with: "You're not a little boy anymore, Anakin. You couldn't have just gone to the bathroom on your own?"
"Master, you seem to have forgotten about The Rule," Anakin said petulantly, his brows low.
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. The Rule was their shared euphemism for Anakin's bathroom shyness - that is, his inability to use the facility proper when there was anybody in the vicinity listening, watching, or even talking to him. "I don't understand how The Rule applies here," he said to his former pupil. "Nobody in their right mind is awake at the moment."
"The last time I came out here to do my business, there was a squirrel watching me." Anakin's voice was clipped. "I haven't had a bowel movement since. It's been three days."
"I could have lived without knowing that," Obi-Wan sighed. He glanced once more at Anakin and made to leave. "In any case, I will leave you be. In the future, please don't hesitate to completely blow our cover with your silly phobia." At this, Anakin made a sound of annoyed protest. "See you back at camp."
"It's okay, I'm coming now. I don't think I can go anymore." Obi-Wan heard Anakin stand and adjust his clothing; he rolled his eyes. "Stand down, Commander," Anakin told Cody as he brushed past and began to lead the clones back to the base. He caught up easily to Obi-Wan and clamped a hand on his shoulder. "My apologies for waking you, Master."
"I am simply glad you are safe," Obi-Wan relented, and then he suddenly fixed Anakin with the stern Look he had perfected in his years as Anakin's Master. "But if you ever touch me again without washing your hands, my former apprentice, there are going to be dire consequences."