ME: One-shot inspired by jokes between me and Tigerclaw97.
Charon Industries was a large conglomerate, involved in everything from weapons and advanced technology to cryogenics. The company employed many men and women, some quite unsavory...
Among those unsavory employees were Locus and Felix, a pair of mercenaries who were in charge of the effort to exterminate the colonists of Chorus so Michael Hargrove, both Chairman of the UNSC Oversight Subcommittee and CEO of Charon Industries, could claim the alien technology on the world unhindered.
Locus and Felix headed to Hargrove's ship, the former UNSC destroyer Staff of Charon, in a shuttle with three of their subordinates: Jackson, their mutual chief lieutenant who commanded the mercenaries in their absence, a prisoner from Tartarus who went by "Sharkface," and the former Counselor of Project Freelancer, Aiden Price.
"Felix," Price asked as their shuttle docked with Staff of Charon, "do you mind if I ask you something?"
"Not at all, Price," replied the ruthless but narcissistic mercenary as the six walked to the meeting. "Go ahead."
The clinical psychologist cleared his throat before saying, "Is it true, Felix, that you are a descendant of the Joker and Harley Quinn?"
The man who had murdered the third leader of the New Republic, among other crimes against the people of Chorus, grabbed Price by the front of his shirt. "Don't you dare bring my grandparents into this!"
Locus: "Enough!" The dark-armored mercenary shook his head. "No unnecessary violence, Felix. If you can't be a professional, at least give the illusion of being one."
Felix released Price before proceeding to raise both of his middle fingers.
"Oh, come on," said his partner. "That's just juvenile, Felix, and we're wasting time."
Sharkface smirked under his helmet, while Jackson shook his head. "I agree," said the calm and collected mercenary. "Felix, if we don't get there soon, the Chairman might end up docking our pay."
If there was one thing Felix loved more than stroking his ego (or at least almost as much), it was money. He started running soon after Jackson had made his point, leading the other five employees of Charon Industries towards the meeting.
Chairman Hargrove, accompanied by a pair of his loyal bodyguards, smiled as Locus and Felix's group arrived. "Locus, Felix," he greeted. "You two and your subordinates are actually one minute and thirty seconds early."
"I am a professional, sir," Locus said. "But thank you, I am glad you are impressed."
Hargrove nodded as he sipped his coffee. "This isn't a social call, gentlemen," he said. "Let's get down to business, shall we?"
Hargrove's six subordinates all provided their own reports. Locus and Felix discussed the addition of Tartarus's prisoners to the mercenary force, Sharkface described his own skills to the Chairman and his desire to kill the two Freelancer agents helping the citizens of Chorus, Jackson discussed how the men and women he had led prior to the capture of Tartarus were less numerous but better quality fighters, and Price talked about how his psychological analysis skills would help win the fight for Chorus.
The Chairman and CEO nodded as he rose from the table. "Excellent work, gentlemen," he said. "Good day, my employees. You are dismissed."
Sharkface coughed. "Uh, Mr. Chairman, sir?" he said. "We have these things called names, feel free to use them."
Hargrove smiled. "Of course, Sharkbait," he said before leaving the room with his bodyguards.
For several minutes the men in charge of exterminating Chorus's population for profit just sat at the table, shocked into silence. "Sharkbait?" said Sharkface, finally breaking the silence.
"Now that is just a dick move," Felix said.