Hippos, Wagons, and Other Christmas Ghosts
Jezyk
Spoilers: Through Paternity, just in case
Disclaimer: Not it. Clearly. Or my life would be so much easier, you know, since I'd be gainfully employed and all.
AN: This is a silly Christmas piece. Because I'm not currently inspired to write a silly Labor Day piece.
Chapter One
December 23rd
4:56 PM
Four unhappy detectives squared off in the squad room. Had any of them thought much about it, they would have turned as a unit and glared at their captain, who'd been the one to leave them in their unhappy predicament.
It had barely been ten minutes since the captain had emerged to ruin their night. Actually, the next two nights, because it was December 23rd and his announcement would certainly impact the 24th as well. Ronald Chambers had made parole, somehow miraculously being released just in time for his favorite holiday. Three of the unhappy detectives were well aware of Chambers' history, having spent every few Christmases tortured by him. The fourth detective was a quick learner and already hated the man he hadn't heard of fifteen minutes prior.
Richard Chambers was a pedophile. And not a particularly bright one. He got locked up about every two years, somehow making parole just in time for Christmas every time. He wasn't a run of the mill pedophile. He was quite possibly one of the most spectacularly stupid ones the unit had ever met. The dumbass chose the same freaking corner from which to harass children every time he got out of jail.
And the dumbass always thought the Santa suit would fool the intrepid detectives.
So the detectives stared at each other, none of them wanting to fold and volunteer for Christmas Eve duty, even though there was a chance, if Chambers was caught that first night, no one would be working the twenty-fourth. Each of them had their own reasons why they felt they should be exempt from having to work Christmas Eve, but they all had the sense to recognize it would only start trouble if they gave their thoughts voice.
Finally, Olivia broke the silence. "Let's flip a coin. Winner gets tonight." She didn't bother looking to her partner; she knew he'd agree since that was how they settled most of their disagreements. Fin would also agree, because he tended to agree with her most of the time. Her eyes fell on Lake, whose opinions on anything were still too new for her to divine. He shrugged noncommittally.
Elliot fished in his pocket for a quarter. Fin beat him to it, handing the coin to Olivia. "You toss, we call."
Nodding, Olivia moved to toss the coin, sending it in a high, tight arc. Lake called heads; Fin called tails. Elliot snatched the coin out of the air before the other pair could claim victory either way.
Fin glared at Lake. "What are you trying to do?"
Lake glared back. "Why do you get to call it?"
Elliot offered the quarter to Lake. "You guys toss it; we'll call it."
Snickering, Olivia made her own suggestion. "And you can hold hands while you toss it."
"Like you two can agree on anything." Fin glared and folded his arms, allowing Lake to throw the quarter.
"Heads."
Fin and Lake were so shocked to hear Olivia and Elliot's voices in complete unison that neither of them moved to check the results.
Eventually, Elliot moved to find the coin, grinning when he announced their victory. "Heads. We'll take tonight."
Fin sat down at his desk in a huff while Lake verified that the quarter was heads up. Olivia rolled her eyes as she put on her coat. Elliot did the same before handing the quarter back to Fin. Lake sat down at his desk, muttering something under his breath.
Olivia smiled at them both. "Night, boys." She didn't want to be stuck waiting on a child molester on any night, let alone Christmas Eve. Not that she would have really minded spending the evening with Elliot normally, but having to work Christmas Eve would likely set him crazy since he'd be losing a rare evening with all of his kids. Besides, it was the first Christmas Eve she'd ever had plans.
December 23rd
5:35 PM
Olivia watched with a smile as Elliot tried to juggle two cups of hot chocolate, a bag from the deli, and the newspaper. She'd told him not to bother with the paper since the sun had long since set; Elliot had insisted that they'd kill each other without something to distract them. Not wanting to admit that he was right, she'd simply refused to respond. He was right, of course, because without anything to do, they would revert to their favorite pastime of picking at each other until they weren't speaking.
"Thanks." She was grateful that he'd volunteered for the food run while she kept an eye out for Chambers. There were a million people out, still searching for the perfect gift, and the huge crowds always left her feeling slightly claustrophobic.
He grinned as he handed over her hot chocolate. "I got you extra whipped cream, but it probably melted."
They ate in comfortable silence, each keeping their eyes trained for the evil Santa. When they finished, Elliot attempted to read the paper, leaning and twisting in odd positions to catch what light was offered by the street lamp half a block away.
Eventually, he crumpled the front page and tossed it into the backseat. "Damn it!"
Olivia looked at him with a smirk, her mouth opening to say 'I told you so.'
"Don't say it." He glared at her. "Just don't."
Disappointed, she turned her eyes back to the window. "Looks like it's going to rain."
Elliot's eyes turned from her face to search out evidence in the sky. "God, I hope not." Because they were trapped in the car all night and they wouldn't be able to run the defroster without alerting Chambers that they were sitting there in the car which would mean they'd have to sit there with the windows down and they'd get soaked and it was too damn cold for that.
"How many times does this guy have to get popped before they realize he's never going to be rehabilitated?"
"Don't start bitching at me, Elliot. I have other things to do myself." She sipped at her hot chocolate slowly, trying to avoid the inevitable need for a bathroom. Even without the heat, it was still nice and cozy in the car and she had no desire to set foot outside in the cold.
"Do you have five kids who need their presents wrapped?"
She contemplated dumping what was left of her drink in his lap, if only to share the feeling of being in the car with a wet blanket. "First of all, one of them is hardly old enough to know the difference. Secondly, two of the others are grown and would certainly understand if their presents aren't wrapped because you have a job in order to buy them presents in the first place. And third, I don't think the fifteen-year-olds will care if their iTunes gift cards are wrapped."
Elliot was quiet for a moment, ostensibly chastised by her tirade. But then a smile curved his lips. "I wasn't going to wrap the iTunes gift cards. I was going to wrap the iPods."
Smiling, Olivia picked at the fries on the seat between them that were rapidly getting cold and soggy. "Since they're the last two teenagers left on Earth without iPods, I'm not sure they'll really care if they're wrapped either."
Elliot picked up one of the fries and threw it at her. "I'm wrapping my kids' presents. Because no matter what you say, they'll always be my babies and they will always have wrapped presents under the tree on Christmas morning as long as I'm alive."
Tossing a few fries back at him, she shrugged. "Just so long as you fully grasp the futility of wrapping gifts that will be unwrapped in a matter of minutes."
"Heads up, here comes Santa."
Immediately the two detectives forgot their discussion as they focused on work. The silence was tense and thick. They weren't about to allow Chambers to hurt another kid, so they would settle for arresting him on a parole violation of wearing a Santa suit, a condition with which few other parolees were saddled. After a few minutes of careful watching, they determined it wasn't the Santa they were looking for. They sat back and relaxed, waiting for the next candidate.
December 23rd
7:04 PM
Olivia's eyes fell on the shadowed floor of the car. Both cups of hot chocolate were long gone, empty cups tossed on the floor. The bag from the deli was there as well as the wrappings from their sandwiches. Boredom told her to break open the bag of potato chips on the dashboard; experience told her they'd look a lot better in a few hours when the hysteria that accompanied stake-outs set in. She shifted around, trying to locate a store that wasn't too crowded for when she decided she couldn't hold it any longer.
Elliot had been quiet for a long time, trying to keep his unhappiness to himself. He was mentally running through the list of gifts he had planned on picking up on his way home until his way home had been detoured to include a Santa watch. He'd have to duck out of work at lunch time the next day because he knew from years past that all the stores would be closed by the time he was headed home on Christmas Eve. He thought about calling Kathy, asking her if she could do it. The twins could watch the baby, sparing Kathy the trouble of taking him along. But he didn't reach for his phone. She would undoubtedly notice shortly that he wasn't just running late. And he didn't want to force Olivia listen to their attempts to divvy up all the work that still needed to be done to pull Christmas off for their family.
The chirp of his phone tore through the quiet and Elliot cursed softly. It was too cold to get out of the car and have the conversation outside; besides that would probably make Olivia paranoid that he was keeping something from her. He sighed and picked it up, silencing the cheerful sound.
"Yeah, Kath."
Olivia leaned closer to the door, as though giving him a few more inches would approximate the privacy he obviously wanted, and tried to tune out his voice. She knew he didn't want to make her feel bad, but she didn't care for once. Because she had a brother, a fact that he tended to forget, and her brother had a family of sorts. It didn't have to be a house in the suburbs, 2.5 kids and a dog. It was something and it was hers. Christmas didn't suck anymore.
"Probably a while. If he's not here by midnight, he's not coming tonight." He checked his watch for the hundredth time, not sure if he wanted time to speed up or slow down. He had a million things to do, but considering that he'd be scurrying out of the office as quickly as he could the next evening, the few hours in the car were the last he'd see of Olivia until after Christmas.
For the millionth time since he'd met her, he sincerely wished she'd feel comfortable enough to join them on Christmas Eve. Not that he expected she'd sit through the chortling of off-key carols that no one knew the words to, but she'd been invited to have dinner every year and had never agreed.
He closed the phone, making up an invitation that his wife hadn't bothered to extend again. "You're welcome for dinner tomorrow if you want, although you might get roped into wrapping gifts afterwards."
She smiled at him, her eyes seeming to sparkle in the darkness. "I have plans."
He shook his head and tried to wrap his head around it. He hadn't realized she was seeing anyone, certainly not someone important enough to spend Christmas Eve with. He nodded. "You got a boyfriend you're not telling me about?"
"No, I have a brother."
Elliot squeezed his eyes closed and berated himself for forgetting. He'd already told himself a hundred times that pretending Simon didn't exist wouldn't actually result in Simon's nonexistence. It would likely only upset his partner. But he couldn't help it. He didn't like Simon. And as with all people he didn't like and couldn't beat up, he ignored him as best he could.
"Simon cooks?" Nothing about the man had suggested he could cook. Then again, nothing about him suggested the education required for a registered pharmacist either.
"No, apparently that's genetic." She glanced at him for a moment, trying to size up his sudden tension. She didn't know if he was jealous that she had somewhere to go or that she had another man in her life or if maybe he just didn't like Simon. It wasn't the first time she'd suspected the latter, but it wasn't something they talked about. It wasn't going to end well if they did. "But Lucy cooks."
Elliot found himself wondering if she'd found a sister too. "Lucy?"
"Simon's girlfriend. She's cooking dinner and I promised I'd help Kyle bake cookies for Santa."
"Kyle is your nephew?" He suddenly hated himself for not knowing everything there was to know about Simon and his family. Because Olivia not only knew the names and ages and birthdates and favorite colors of his kids, but she regularly reminded him of both his anniversary and Kathy's birthday as well. He realized that she did it as a friend, regardless of her personal feelings for any of them. As her partner, he should at least be able to keep track of her family too, even if it was a recent development.
"He's Lucy's kid, but Simon bought her a ring for Christmas, so he'll be my nephew soon." She smiled at her words. A nephew. She had a nephew. That was even better than having a sister-in-law.
"Step-nephew, right, if Simon adopts him." He wanted to kick himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He wasn't begrudging her a family. He didn't know what he was doing. "Kids make Christmas. You'll love it."
His words were ignored as Olivia gazed out the window. The pair lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.
December 23rd
8:53 PM
"God damn it!"
Olivia's shout was so unexpected that Elliot jumped in his seat. "What? What's wrong?"
"One of these cups wasn't empty. I got hot chocolate on my pants." She folded one of her long legs over the other as she licked a napkin and started dabbing at the spot.
"They're black."
She glared at him. "They're new."
"They're black, no one will ever see it."
"I'm not going to wear stained pants."
Elliot rolled his eyes. With the way she went through clothes he seriously doubted she'd remember in the morning. "Well, you'll be able to buy a new pair with the overtime for tonight."
Huffing and glowering at her pants, she threw the napkin on the floor. "Unfortunately, I need the overtime to pay my rent."
Elliot grinned, holding back a laugh. "Been to Saks again?"
She laughed, feeling no need to tell him that her clothes more often tended to be knock-offs than the high end merchandise. "Actually, I went a little overboard buying Kyle presents."
She'd more than lost control buying gifts for Kyle. Even Lucy and Simon were going to make out like they'd won the lottery. She just hadn't been able to help the excitement that overtook her when she told the sales clerk in the toy department that she was looking for gifts for her nephew. The same thing had happened when she started looking for Lucy's present – stretching the truth to tell everyone she could that it was for her sister-in-law as though they were already married. God help her when she went looking for a dress for her brother's wedding. She might lobby to have it declared a national holiday.
Shaking his head, Elliot rolled his eyes. "You blew your rent money buying gifts for a kid you barely know?"
"Hey, he's my nephew." She couldn't blame Elliot for his surprise. She never would have expected that she'd do something that stupid herself.
"Almost." His eyes moved back to the window and his lips pressed into a thin line.
The teasing no longer felt good-natured and Olivia felt compelled to explain herself, something she hated having to do, especially with her partner. "You know, you have five kids so you've gotten to go shopping and buy gifts and wrap up presents in green paper with little red Santas on it. I don't have any kids. I've never had anyone to buy presents for. So I was little irresponsible. Sue me." She folded her arms over her chest and glared out the window, hoping Chambers would appear so she'd have a legitimate reason to let out her frustration.
But then his hand was on her shoulder, rubbing gently. "I didn't mean it like that." He waited for her eyes to meet his before he smiled. "Next time you feel like blowing some serious cash, you're more than welcome to adopt one of mine. I can list ten things each of them wants that I don't have the money to buy."
The feeling of his touch was too much, leaving her feel unbalanced and confused. Her eyes immediately darted involuntarily to his hand, staring at it. He was planning a huge Christmas, his first one home with his family in two years; he certainly hadn't meant for her to misinterpret his attempt to soothe her hurt feelings. But when she looked up, his eyes were locked on hers, dark and heavy and full of something she didn't want to name. Deciding it was all in her head, looked away. She shook him off by shrugging her shoulders and tried to make light of her obvious discomfort. "Next thing you're going to tell me there's mistletoe in here."
His hand retreated, snagging the bag of chips from the seat between them and noisily tearing open the bag. "Wish I'd thought of it."
She couldn't swear she'd heard him right over the crunching sound of the bag, so she didn't respond. She couldn't be sure it wasn't wishful thinking, so she didn't challenge it. Her eyes turned back to their search, wondering if things were ever going to be different. Or if finally spending a holiday with something resembling a family was the closest she was ever going to get to being happy.