"Ar Lath Ma, Vhenan…"

Those tender blissful words lingered in Arissa mind. For everyday and night she would constantly think about Solas and wondered where he disappeared. No matter how hard she tried to forget about him, though she could not let go. It has been months after defeating Corypheus and still no sign of Solas. Arissa found comfort asking two of her advisors either Cullen or the iron bull to stay with her whenever she had those lonely nights but it was not the same. Constant nightmares occurred of horrific visions of him being left to die somewhere. Arissa would find herself screaming and alarming anyone who heard her and that someone was always the iron bull. These past months since this started happening he decided to sit himself outside her door and whenever she would scream he would go into her room and lay beside her to give whatever comfort he could offer and leave in the morning. Reason is because she had warned both him and Cullen if they were to come into her room to comfort her and stay with her all night they were to leave in the morning so they don't see her getting out from underneath the blanket naked, wasn't because she embarrassed for them to see her like that; it was because she still felt she belonged to Solas or that's what she believed even though he feels they shouldn't be together or he's a distraction to her. Arissa not once ever felt that way about Solas. She truly loved him and wanted him beside her.

Tonight after a long hard day she was finally able to return to her quarters. Surprisely the iron bull was not sitting at the small table like he would every night for her.

"I wonder what's keeping him?"

"Inquisitor? A female voice approaches from behind giving Arissa quite the jump. She turns around to give her attention, "Leliana?"

"My lady, I have a message from my soldiers the ones I sent two months ago to search for Solas. This is what they said." She reads the note out loud, 'We're sorry to inform you, our hearts and soul deeply go out to you Lady Lavellan. We have found traces of Solas but not have seen any sight of him. We apologize my lady we'll keep searching but as far as we're concerned he doesn't want to be found.' Arissa looks disappointed, "I don't understand."

"I'm sorry my lady if there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to ask. Will you be alright tonight?" Arissa just nods with nothing further to say; too disappointed to even suggest anything anymore to this matter. "Okay. I'm turning in for the night. Oh and the iron bull sent his apologies but he can't be here tonight. As far as I know Cullen is in his quarters so if you feel that loneliness my lady he'll be there."

"Thank you Leliana. Sleep well." When they parted ways she entered into her quarters shutting the door and tightly locking it. Arissa stood starring at her door and could feel the pain in her heart began to hurt, just even standing still for a second she took the information in very hard. At that very moment she broke down in tears her body and all collapsed down onto the floor, "Solas…I need you. To be here with me tonight…why?' she cries out more, "Where are you?" A loud knock sounds on the door, "Lady Lavellan?" A male guard voice comes through the door, "you okay?" he asks in a concerned voice. She quickly recollects herself standing back up from the cold floor, "I'm fine." Assuming he left the exhausted and worn out Dalish Elf made her up the stairs and over to her bed to remove all her clothing and not carrying where she threw it. Lingerie was not her thing to wear to bed. The first time she ever wore lingerie to bed was when she was 16 years old; the experience was very uncomfortable, so ever since than she gone to bed naked. Wasn't quite easy though when living with her parents she had to be sure she was awake and dressed before they were. Eventually she told her mother and surprisely she didn't get mad because she was the same with lingerie. That was a relief to know. Arissa was always a proper lady; like how her parents raised her to be but when it came to the lingerie especially at night the damn thing would come off. Cullen and iron bull didn't mind but it was hard to not touch her when they would lay next her. They respected that about her even though she was attractive elf.

Certainly was a beautiful night the moon shining brightly, the wind blowing softly through the curtains, and the stars twinkling ever so like diamonds. Before she laid herself down on the bed she walked outside to her balcony not carrying who or what could see, there was no shame. Arissa hugged herself taking in this blissful moment. This was the first she had ever done this so vulnerable and bare but something about night got her attention as though she felt Solas near by, holding her in his grasp.

"I want to see you…" she sighs closing her eyes, "I want to feel your kisses on my skin. Hear your sweet voice, telling me everything okay. Hold me forever never letting me go. Solas… if you can hear me please know I haven't given up on you. Arissa feels a strong wind against her skin, "… Please tell me everything alright. Let me know you're okay. Goodnight ma vhenan" Tears began to fall down her cheeks. Returning back inside leaving the balcony doors open Arissa still with tears in her eyes blew out every candle lite in her quarters than carefully walks over to her bed. She lies down turning over to her side curling up like a kitten pulling the soft blanket over her naked body. Tears continued falling down, was so hard to keep them back as continuously thoughts terrible thoughts of him came to her mind. She couldn't bare if something did happen to him she wouldn't know what to do from there.

Even on this beautiful night Arissa cried herself to sleep, hugging herself so tightly hoping it was him holding her.

Midnight soon came around with thunder and lightning causing a stir in her sleep. Arissa opened her eyes to the loud rumble of the thunder and the lightning flashing before her eyes; it didn't stay to pleasant when a strong wind came through causing the balcony doors to swing back and fourth. Quickly getting out of her bed wrapping the blanket around her, she ran over to the doors before they become damaged or worse. Arissa stood and watched this storm safely behind the now closed balcony doors wanting so much to go out in the middle of it but the very thought of it would be futile and dangerous. The chaos of this storm: the lightning, the thunder reminded her of the staff Solas used during the battles, now it laid on her floor where she stood and walked. This was one of his possessions that were found last week, why would he be unarmored? Was always her question. Left unanswered by her advisors for weeks now. They didn't know what they could do for her anymore but continued searching, which was pointless.

The search seemed endless of only traces or some kind of possession they would find belonging to him but not a site, campfires maybe but was always left unattended. Arissa promised herself she wouldn't give up on him and move on. Her advisors would talk without her around asking one another to try to get her to move on but the result would end in a failure. She would either run off to hide in her quarters all day or would find some excuse to get out of the conversation. Eventually the subject became avoided. As far as searching for him, it's becoming straight out ridiculous. They all know she misses him terribly and will do anything in their power to find him to give her some hope but as far as the search goes it's hopeless.

Arissa retrieves the unused staff from the floor holding it tightly against her, "Whatever power you may hold find me my love. This sounds stupid," she shakes her head, "I don't care how pathetic I sound right now but he's been missing for months now. I feel everyone giving up on him, except me I'll never let go. Please tell me he's okay. You were his trusted weapon." No reaction- Arissa feeling more frustrated angrily throws it, "Solas!" Tearing up laying herself down on the cold floor, "I-I can't do this…I have to let you go Solas. This is too painful to hold. Ar Lath ma, Vhenan always." Though the tears never stopped, Arissa didn't dare to move: to weak, to broken, and to lost of hope again cried herself to sleep. The storm outside so furious burst the balcony doors open Arissa didn't react in any way.

Feeling all her hope is gone.

And just when she though all her hope is gone laying there motionless A Warm hand wrap itself around her waist across her stomach as soft lips kiss her neck, "Ma Vhenan…Please don't cry anymore." She slowly opens her eyes feeling wet clothing against her back. "Arissa…" This mysterious sweet soft male voice calls her name. "Solas?" he turns her around, "I'm here" Weak as she was a weary hand wrapped itself around his wet soft head, stroking and feeling to see if it was truly him. "Solas…" she pulls him down onto her chest, "Don't leave me" He nuzzles her,

"Ma vhenan I can't even tell you-" She brings her finger to his lips silencing him, "Please don't tell me. For now I want to hold you close to me." Solas looks up at her and sees the tears she's been crying. He whips them from her eyes, "I'm sorry I caused you this much pain. You didn't have to torture yourself like this." She looks deep into his eyes, "Its been so hard without you. I couldn't let you go. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't."

Solas tilts his head up leaning closer to her face to give her the most passionate kiss she hasn't had in so long. She returns it so much deeper.

They stop to catch their breaths.

"Vhenan is the bedroom door locked?" He asks out of nowhere.

"Of Course it is. Why you- mmm." She silenced by his lips and his sudden movement holding her wrists down, "I want to make you mine tonight," he climbs on top of her leaning down close to her neck. She shivers to the feel of his lips brushing up and down.

"Solas…" she moans as his hands wondered down her body.

"…please." The blanket that she had covered herself with was removed thrown to the side. Solas blinked in shock, "Vhenan…I'm lost of words. Is this how you sleep at night?" Arissa turns her face away hiding her flushed red cheeks. Solas smiles at her innocence. "Arissa don't hide yourself." He touches her face turning her to look at him, "You're beautiful." She smiles slightly, "Solas carry me." Her arms wrap themselves around his neck.

"It'll be my pleasure." Gently he takes her into his arms carrying over to the bed.

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