It was the warmth he felt first, jolting him to awareness. Shinobu's vision was blurry, and he blinked hastily to clear it, attempting to raise a hand to his face and wipe the haze from his eyes until he found out he couldn't. His arms were trapped, bringing a frown to his pursing lips, and it took him a few moments to better analyze the situation at hand.
He had fallen asleep against the couch in Miyagi's shared apartment, waiting for the man in question to return home from work. He didn't know how late it was, but he could only assume very, and his trapped arms were restrained by another pair. Heat rose to Shinobu's cheeks when he realized how tightly Miyagi was hugging him, embracing him from behind in a rather awkward position. The older man was arched over the back of the couch just to achieve this, and before words could come to Shinobu's mind and empty out through his mouth, the stench of alcohol reached his nose.
A huff. "You're drunk."
Miyagi said nothing, as silent as could be. His face was buried in the crook of Shinobu's neck, making the skin warm and clammy with his hot, alcohol tinted breath. It sent some shivers racing down Shinobu's spine and increased his blush, and even with his annoyance, he didn't move away. He didn't really want to, and on top of that, he didn't really think he could.
Silence. Shinobu shifted, hair falling into narrowed grey eyes. "Miyagi." His voice held annoyance dripping off every letter of the name. Maybe it was the familiar irritation Miyagi heard that caused him to stir from his position.
"Mmph." It shouldn't be an answer, but it was.
Shinobu glared. "Mmph?"
A nod, and a quick one. "Mmph!" He would have face-palmed if it were possible.
The college boy squirmed in Miyagi's hold, but that only caused the professor to tighten his arms around him. When he relaxed, he was leaning even more heavily on Shinobu, nuzzling his nose against his shoulder in a way that almost made the younger boy smile. "How much did you drink, old man?"
A considering pause came. "Enough," he mumbled, and as vague as it was, it was better than 'mmph'. Shinobu's irritation was only growing, but a part of him found this amusing, as well.
"Did you go out with that subordinate of yours?" Shinobu suddenly popped the question, his mouth tasting sour, and the same sourness melted into the sound of his words. "Was-"
"Shinobu!" Miyagi whined, cutting him off abruptly. Shinobu was about to yell at Miyagi for interrupting him, before the protest died on his lips as a cause to his surprise, finally being released from his embrace. It was short-lived, however, as Miyagi clumsily came around the other side of the couch, slipping an arm underneath Shinobu's legs and another under his back, sluggishly lifting him up and holding him to his chest. Grey eyes met blue ones, and redness spread to his cheeks, Shinobu's mouth falling agape as Miyagi started to walk with the blond in his arms.
"Hey! What are you doing?" He pushed at Miyagi's shoulders to rile his attention, only to be ignored. "Miyagi! Miyagi!"
The older flinched, if only at how Shinobu's shouting voice rang out against the walls. "What?"
Shinobu glared, trying to escape from his arms. "Don't carry me! Where are we even going?"
The first part of his exclamation was ignored, but Miyagi gave a sheepish answer for the rest of it. "Bedroom."
Shinobu's eyes widened, and that same redness tainted the tips of his ears. "What? Why?" Miyagi gave him a look, a look that clearly said that Shinobu knew why. At that, Shinobu pushed against his shoulders again. "No! Put me down!"
The professor stopped walking, but he didn't let go of Shinobu just yet. "Why?" Now it was his turn to question, and he received a glower for his efforts.
"Because you're drunk!" He kept on squirming, no matter if it did him any good or not. "I don't want to do it when you're drunk!"
"Do what?" Miyagi looked at him with the innocence of a newborn puppy, and Shinobu wasn't buying it one bit.
He gestured aimlessly, but it did nothing for Miyagi. Finally, he gave up his embarrassment. "Sex, stupid!"
A blink. "Sex?" Shinobu couldn't believe this man for a second.
"Yes, sex!"
At that, a drunken smile. "Glad you agree, Shinobu-chin!" He seemed so utterly happy, his face filled in with a blush brought on by intoxication. He continued on his merry way, completely missing the point, and finally, Shinobu shoved against him, making him stop once more as he nearly fell over. The blond took advantage of the stagger, escaping from Miyagi's grasp and getting to his feet.
He pointed to the couch. "Sit down!" With the rage fueled behind his words, the very drunken Miyagi scrambled for the couch as if it were some sort of safe haven from the angry maniac that was his boyfriend. Shinobu crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows so heavily it would have put Hiroki's own scowls to shame, staring at Miyagi with enough heat in his gaze to melt a thousand suns.
"You're adorable."
Shinobu would have slapped Miyagi for that nonsense comment if he hadn't been suddenly pulled over, haphazardly landing halfway on Miyagi's lap and halfway not, his legs bent at an awkward angle and trailing off the couch. Shock and then angered disbelief filtered through his eyes, before Miyagi tugged him up fully into his lap and wrapped him into a warm, comforting embrace.
It caught Shinobu off guard as Miyagi burrowed his face against the teenager's chest, letting out a deep breath. Silence took up the room, and it was a serene sort of silence, ease slowly seeping into Shinobu's bones and allowing him to relax. Hesitantly, he brought his arms up, embracing Miyagi back, letting his chin rest on the top of Miyagi's head. Soon, his face was buried against Miyagi's hair, the strands of black feeling soft as they tickled his face, smelling of a familiar shampoo that relaxed Shinobu further.
Miyagi had gone limp, and Shinobu wondered if he had fallen asleep in the few minutes of peace. His ponderings were swept away, however, as Miyagi spoke up once again. "You smell."
Immediately, the serenity cracked, and then it crumbled away, shattering like glass and leaving Shinobu angry in its wake. "Miyagi." His voice was as tense as he was, and he could feel Miyagi frown against his shirt.
"What? I'm not lying!" He held Shinobu closer, even as the teenager tried to escape, feeling a mixture of embarrassed and irritated.
"Well, so do you!" He spoke defensively, giving up in his attempts to break the older man's in breakable hug. "You reek of alcohol and cigarette smoke!"
The professor shook his head, and Shinobu nearly growled in his rage. "You smell like home," he explained, shocking his boyfriend, before said lover only grew more annoyed.
"Well, seeing you never clean this place-"
"Shinobu-chin." Miyagi's voice had turned serious. It was muffled against Shinobu's chest, and the smaller could feel his words against him, could feel the heat from his breath and the movement of his lips. "You smell like home because you are home. Home smells like you." He sighed out, relaxing his hug. Shinobu could escape if he wanted to, but at the words Miyagi spoke, he found he truly didn't want to at all.
Silence, again, but shorter lived this time around. "Miyagi..." He murmured the man's name, trailing off, hiding his face back against Miyagi's hair. He was unprepared for the moment when Miyagi tilted his head up, their eyes meeting once again, and then their lips, softly pressing against the other's in a gentle kiss.
Shinobu stared at his older lover as they kissed, before his eyelids fluttered closed. He felt himself relax, the rest of the world drowning out around them. They rarely kissed like this, like they had all the time in the world, without the rush or neediness or hunger. Just a simple show of love and affection that only they would share. Shinobu found it to be his favorite kind of kiss.
He didn't know who broke it, barely realized when it ended. Shinobu didn't take his eyes off of Miyagi's after that, and for that reason, he noticed the stirring of emotions flitting behind those midnight irises. His frown was gentle as he registered the sadness buried in Miyagi's features, frowned even harder when Miyagi looked away.
Shinobu was about to ask what was bothering the man, but Miyagi told him before he had the time to question it. "Your lips are... soft."
The words were spoken so quietly, so vulnerably. Shinobu didn't understand. Was that it? Was there something wrong with that? Did Miyagi not like how it felt to kiss him?
Before he could begin to panic about needless things, the older man continued. "And mine aren't." He still didn't understand. A hand reached out, and then a thumb, brushing over Shinobu's mouth. Shinobu let it, watching as Miyagi brought his thumb back to his own lips, comparing how they felt. "See? I was right."
He gave him a look. "What does that have to do with anything, old man?"
Miyagi looked away at his words, as if the blond had said something wrong. "Exactly."
"Exactly what?"
"'Old man.' You're so much younger than I am. You're lips are so much softer."
Shinobu felt his rage returning. "I thought that you would stop picking fights about how I'm too young for you or whatever-"
"No," he interrupted, shaking his head, and Shinobu decided it go this time. "It isn't that you're too young for me. I'm too old for you." He said it with a certain heaviness to his tone, as if it were some startling discovery.
"That's the same thing."
Miyagi let out a groan, letting go of the hug, pushing Shinobu down on the couch and pinning him there. "Listen!" He was arched above the younger with his mouth drawn into a pout, long legs on either side of Shinobu's thin hips, strong hands clasping at delicate wrists. It was a position Shinobu was familiar with by now.
"Make some sense, then!" His anger shone through each syllable strung up into the words he spoke. "If you want me to listen, say something besides your drunk rambling!"
Miyagi stared down at him for the longest of moments with that same sad gaze, and Shinobu felt his anger slowly draining out of him with that look. When he was calmed, as if Miyagi could sense it, the professor laid his forehead to rest against Shinobu's own. "I don't want you to leave me."
The admittance was a strange thing to hear for the younger, and he watched in a stunned way as Miyagi's eyelids slid closed. Finally, he spoke, and the words were loud and angry, but Shinobu couldn't manage to be angry himself. "What is that supposed to mean? You think I would do all this just to leave you? Where did you get that in your head?"
Miyagi was quiet for a moment, his eyebrow twitching, his mouth frowning, his fingers tightening on Shinobu's wrists. "When you're my age, I'll be ready to settle into retirement. When you're that age, I'll be dead-"
"Miyagi, it's not that big of a gap-"
"-well, I don't know! I'm drunk!" Miyagi almost whined the words, and Shinobu fell silent, giving him a moment, letting him speak, letting him try to figure out the words he wanted to say. "I'll grow wrinkles before you, I'll settle down before you, I'll be on my- my deathbed before you, Shinobu-chin, I'm going to die before you!"
Shinobu's expression hardened. "I'll still love you-"
"I know, I know! But that isn't the point! Why would you wish that on yourself?" Shinobu looked at him blankly, and Miyagi pushed on. "Why would you want to be weighed down by an old man like me? Why would you want to see me gone before you? Why don't you want someone who- who isn't out of university-"
"Technically, you're still in a university-"
"Stop!" Another whine. Miyagi dropped his head on Shinobu's chest, and his fingers let go of Shinobu's wrists, only to crawl up and settle on his palms. Their fingers laced together, and Miyagi's squeezed the blond's hands, Shinobu squeezing back. "Why?"
He asked it helplessly, and Shinobu knew he was beyond drunk, beyond gone to this world, but he knew that this could be something going around Miyagi's head that he would only share through his drunken slurs. Because of that, Shinobu thought of what he wanted to say, thought of what to tell this man he was so helplessly in love with.
Finally, he took in a breath. "Weren't you the one that said that when I'm a hundred years old, you'll be a hundred and seventeen, and then it won't matter, since we'll both be old men?"
"But we won't live for that long. That doesn't help anything."
Shinobu rolled his eyes. "Stop being so pessimistic and whiny! I love you, and I'll always love you, no matter how old you are. And you know why?"
"Not really..." A sigh.
"Because it's you." The words, along with pretty much everything he had said tonight, sounded much too sappy coming from his mouth. He felt like he should wash it out to clean away all the sweetness, but that didn't mean he didn't mean the words.
Miyagi stayed silent, holding tightly to Shinobu's hands. "Does that mean you'll only love me until I'm a hundred seventeen? Or will you love me afterwards, too?"
He scowled. "When did I ever say that? That doesn't even have to do with anything!" When Miyagi whimpered, Shinobu finally complied. "Fine! Yes, I will. Happy, now?" He knew he would love this man when he's a hundred and eighteen, nineteen, twenty- however long until he's gone, and then after that, too. Shinobu would never stop loving this man. But, even for this situation, even for this all, all of that was a little too grossly sappy for him to say, if only because he knew Miyagi would think so.
Miyagi let go of Shinobu's hands, wrapping them around his waist instead, and he let his body fall upon the younger's. Shinobu yelled out at that. "Miyagi! Get off! You're squishing me!"
Miyagi shook his head, and then he yawned. He yawned again, only to be cut off by a hiccup, and the man finally relaxed, staring up at Shinobu with soft eyes at half mast. That gaze made him stop squirming, and the smile that followed made him blush.
"I love you, Shinobu."
If Shinobu had known that this was all going to turn out so sappy, he would have just locked the door. He was certain Miyagi wouldn't be able to figure out something as simple as a key when he was like this. He was about to share his thoughts with Miyagi, but the words fell silent, recognizing the evenness of Miyagi's breath and the relaxed features of his face, the man having fallen asleep.
Shinobu gazed at him for the longest of times. He had no doubts that Miyagi would be waking up with an awful hangover tomorrow, and he would probably spend the day taking care of him and running off to buy some painkillers and instant coffee. He wouldn't truly have it any other way, though.
The teenager settled down, and Miyagi brought him closer, until the embrace was more comfortable, until Shinobu himself was. He let one last sigh escape his lips as his eyelids dropped down. Shinobu would have gotten them a blanket to sleep with, but he knew that Miyagi would keep him warm throughout the night.
He watched as Miyagi washed painkillers down his throat with the aid of his coffee, his face red and his hair a mess, clothes all wrinkled and untidy. He looked like a wreck, and he was one, not having moved an inch off this couch and only just having sat up late in the afternoon. Shinobu watched him, wondering if the coffee was even cold enough to be chugging it down like that, but he supposed Miyagi could only blame himself if he burned his throat.
The cup was set down, and a groan left Miyagi's lips. "Lucky it's your day off, huh?" Shinobu stuck out his tongue, but Miyagi wasn't even at enough working capacity to deal with the teasing, just leaning against the couch and running a hand through his shagged hair in defeat.
Shinobu scooted over to him, an indifferent look on his face. "You really shouldn't drink so much, Miyagi. I'm still upset, you know. I stayed up so long waiting for you-"
"No one said you had to stay up-"
"-and then you come in here as a drunken mess! I would be angrier if it hadn't been so amusing. Annoying, but amusing."
His grumpiness showed this morning- well, afternoon- and he only fixed Shinobu with an exasperated look. "Brat." He said it like a whiny child, sinking into the couch afterwards, and Shinobu only felt like the mature one here instead of feeling discouraged.
He had decided to stop bothering the hungover man and was about to get up and wash out the coffee mug, but before he could, Miyagi's head drooped onto his shoulder. "I didn't say anything too bad last night, did I?"
Miyagi's red face had returned, but Shinobu knew some of that was from bashfulness. He knew because he himself was blushing for the same reason right then. He rested his head against Miyagi's, pausing.
"Define bad." Miyagi whimpered, and Shinobu decided to give him a little break, having bad his fun."Not really. Don't worry about it." He couldn't judge whether it was bad or not, but for Miyagi, it probably would have been. Shinobu didn't care. He was happy to hear some of the thoughts Miyagi always keeps to himself. "Now get some rest before I-"
He cut himself off as Miyagi slouched over, his head falling into Shinobu's lap, and Shinobu could only conclude that the man was more tired than he let on. Slipping out from underneath him, he fixed Miyagi into a more comfortable position on the couch, unbuttoning his tight shirt and pulling a few blankets over him, before lifting his head up and resting it right back in his lap. Miyagi didn't stir once, breathing out his nose as the redness kept to his skin, and Shinobu allowed himself a rare, tiny smile at the endearing sight below him.
"I love you, too, old man."