A/N ~ contains adult themes including non-sexual age play between consenting adults. This is a future AU although it mostly sticks to canon with no spoilers through the end of Season 4.

Glee and its characters do not belong to me.

Much thanks to Boris Yeltsin for the idea, inspiration, and prompt for this story.

Be My Baby

From the journal of Lucy Quinn Fabray May 22, 2024 Beth's 13th Birthday

"I once took a walk with you…. it was the path of pain. The stones beneath my feet were sharp and rough telling me this path was the lesser one chosen…. Yet still I chose to walk it. Even worse, I forced you to walk it with me. A fierce wind tore you from my arms, but I didn't really try to hang on… For any agony I've caused you, I am eternally sorry.

So much time will pass, and yet what is time to a broken heart? It is merely a reminder of all that has been lost, of all that can never be.

Be yourself… Free yourself… Walk your own path in strength and courage. Leave behind all judgment, regret, and sadness.

Walk softly in love…

Breathe deeply in peace…

Live fully without fear…

Journey to self-discovery…

Be happy! It is the best revenge!"

Prologue: The therapist who needs therapy

Quinn Fabray felt like a fraud half the time, and a walking cliché the rest of the time; the therapist who needs therapy, the shrink who should be shrunk. The walking wounded who dispatched advice and counsel to other wounded souls without first fixing her own pain. She read once that people in her profession had a very high suicide rate, and it didn't surprise her. If she wasn't certain that the judgmental, unforgiving, white-bearded God of her youth would condemn her to an eternity in a fiery Hell, she might have taken that route herself.

She had gone to Yale with the intention of becoming an actress; she was after all quite adept at faking feelings and pretending to be someone else. Then her freshman roommate had quietly committed suicide, and Quinn switched her field of study to psychology. At first it was a sense of guilt, she had barely tolerated the gloomy introverted girl, and clearly missed all the signals of her increasingly desperate state of mind. Then she remembered back to her own skank phase, and realized what a walking basket case she had been senior year. What was that saying? Oh yeah, but for the grace of God, go I! It was in that moment of clarity she realized that perhaps all the experiences of her own live could benefit someone else. Perhaps in the dark recesses of her young mind, Quinn still had some hope that she could find peace and heal.

Quinn was surprised to find she had a real talent for the field. She graduated Summa Cum Laude a year early and became a sought after therapist. Deciding to remain in New Haven had been simple, and Connecticut had become home to her. It was a city large enough to get lost in, yet small enough not to feel completely alone.

She specialized in at-risk teenagers, and found she bonded well with them. She loved her job, as she cared deeply for her clients. In turn they trusted her, and responded to her ministrations. She was known professionally for thinking outside of the typical counseling box, and was willing to try unorthodox treatments. The beautiful blonde felt like she had assisted in helping many teens heal, but she had never found that level of peace in her own life she so desperately sought. Her youthful hope had long ago faded into a mature melancholy acceptance that the glass was always half empty.

Her job became her life, and she devoted at least twelve hours per day to it. She stayed late in her office, long after her last client left, and wrote detailed session notes and recovery plans. Her spare time was spent researching treatments. Then she would drive home to her solitary and isolated townhouse, eat a small dinner, indulge in a glass or two of wine in a warm bath, and fall asleep. She knew she wasn't an alcoholic, but it wouldn't take much to trip over the line. It was a cloistered life she led without even a pet to keep her company. The only thing reminiscent of her teen years was her lingering love of music and dance. She had converted her finished basement into a dance studio complete with a ballet barre that she used regularly as her own therapy.

She desired love, but the closest she ever came was anonymous sweaty sex with strangers in hotel rooms when the need to connect to another human being became overwhelming. For Quinn, sex was merely a way to scratch an itch, it was never about companionship. Occasionally the need for human touch found her in a bar then a hotel room; man, woman it didn't matter, and she always left before they woke up. She never gave them her real name or number, and never had sex with the same person twice. It kept things simple. It didn't require feelings or commitment; it was what she was best at. She knew her colleagues called her the Ice Queen, and other epithets less polite, but it didn't matter to her; she had no real friends among them, and unlike high school she felt no desire to be popular amongst her peers.

Basically she was just an incredibly lonely woman who lived in the shadows of her fears and failures.

She had never used the train pass to visit Rachel even though she was drawn like a moth to a flame to her burning ambitions and radiant personality. Mercedes had offered her love and a family, but she couldn't accept it as the pain of her own family's betrayal was still too real and raw.

She had even had a one night stand with Santana at Mr. Schue's wedding, but ran before she could be tempted into a relationship with the fiery Latina who seemed all too willing to trade one blonde for the other.

The only real family she ever had was the other losers in New Directions, but she willingly chose not to stay in touch with any of them; never attended their reunions, weddings, baby showers, or anniversary parties. She had studiously deleted their emails until one by one they all gave up on her, and stopped trying to maintain contact, even Rachel Berry who was the last to surrender.

Like everything else painful in her life, Quinn shoved unhappiness into a metaphorical closet, and locked the door behind it throwing away the key. She was a master of denial, and once she locked you away, she never gave you another minute's thought. That had worked for everything in her life except Beth. Only her child, her flesh and blood, her one good thing was she unable to lock away behind the doors of her denial. She kept her despair to a minimum though, and only indulged for a week, once a year, on the anniversary of her child's birth and adoption. For one week per year she allowed herself the full measure of her anguish, grief, and regret.

Lucy Quinn Fabray had never gotten over the trauma of her youth; parental abandonment, her lonely, fearful teenage pregnancy, and the gut wrenching adoption of her only child. She was pretty sure she didn't deserve to be loved, so she quit expecting it.

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Today was Friday, May 21, 2032 and it was the last day of work before her yearly sabbatical of grief. Tomorrow would be Beth's 21st birthday, a milestone, a birthday that brought tremendous pain to Quinn for some reason. Without giving it too much thought, she assumed her added pain was because this birthday brought a symbolic end to Beth's childhood. Any opportunity Quinn had to be part of her daughter's childhood was at an end. Forty eight hours after Beth's birthday was the anniversary of her adoption by Shelby Corcoran. All three days would be spent in mournful isolation, until her own birthday on May 25th. She would be 36 years old this year, it felt like a milestone as well. Her youthful beauty would soon fade, and she would finally start to resemble the shell of a woman she felt like.

She would emerge from her 72 hour self-imposed cocoon of sorrow, and pick up a stranger and have sex, just to prove to herself she was still alive, that she could still feel something. Somewhere in the clinical part of her mind, it felt like a punishment of sorts, but she refused to analyze it too deeply. Then she would go home, take a hot shower, get shit faced drunk, and sing old Glee songs to the recordings of their competitions and cry until she passed out. The next day would be spent in bed suffering miserably from a horrendous hangover and regret, until it was time to get up, pack away her feelings, and go back to work. Her vacation would be over and done with until the same time next year.

Quinn walked into the bathroom, and splashed cold water over her face, and patted it dry with a soft hand towel. She studied herself in the mirror. Not vainly, her beauty had always been detrimental to her feelings of self-worth, a curse really. Quinn didn't see a beautiful woman, she saw the mask. She didn't see a nationally renowned therapist, she saw a coward. If she had a client as wounded as she knew she was, she would medicate them and lock them away as a danger to themselves. The fact she was a hypocrite didn't really bother her, one day all her pain would be gone. Maybe this weekend she would have the courage to do what needed to be done. The courage to end this sham of an existence.

Walking back to her office, she grabbed a bottle of water out of her dorm sized refrigerator, and sat at her desk looking at her appointment book. Only one more client before leaving for the week, a new person her secretary had booked without her knowledge. Having let her secretary leave early for the coming long Memorial Day holiday, Quinn made a note to talk to her about the scheduling when she returned in a week. She didn't usually take new people before her vacation. Quinn didn't want to take the chance of leaving a needy patient alone for a week, nor did she want to chance thinking about the new patient during her week of grieving. This week was her time; her gift to herself and she had no room for anyone else's pain.

Quinn looked at her watch and saw she had ten minutes before the client was scheduled to arrive. Looking at the name in the book, she saw her secretary had penciled in the name E. Shelby with the notation, 20 years old. A wave of apprehension made Quinn feel anxious, but she brushed it off. What were the odds that Beth Corcoran was this E. Shelby person? She didn't even know if E. Shelby was male or female. Besides, what would Shelby's daughter be doing in New Haven, Connecticut on the day before her 21st birthday? It was highly unlikely and the odds staggering.

The blonde was pulled out of her fretful musings by a soft knock on her door announcing the arrival of her new patient. Quinn got up, and unconsciously ran her palms down her black pencil skirt, and straightened her silk blouse. She put on her professionally concerned therapist face, and opened the door to her private waiting room.

Standing in front of her was the spitting image of herself fifteen years ago. The faux smile froze on her face, as eyes reminiscent of her favorite café au lait, eyes that sparkled with emerald specks; eyes identical to her own looked up from the floor, and held hers.

"Hello, Quinn. I'm sorry to have surprised you like this, but I saw no other way to get in touch with you. I hope you'll still see me," the elegant young woman spoke confidently. She stood up, and Quinn saw that she was nearly as tall as she was herself. She could see nothing of Noah Puckerman in the girl.

Quickly gathering her wits, she answered with equal poise, "Of course I'll see you, especially since you've put such effort into meeting me," she held the door open with one hand, and beckoned the girl into her office with the other, "How are you? How is Shelby?"

The young woman glided elegantly into the office, "I'm fine. Mama died my freshman year of college, breast cancer," she answered factually and unemotionally.

"I'm sorry, Beth," Quinn murmured sincerely, "I didn't know Shelby that well, but I am sorry for your loss."

Beth just nodded as she sat in the proffered chair, "Here, or do I need to lie on the couch?"

Quinn saw Puck's sarcastic smirk flash across her daughter's face, and a flicker of pain struck Quinn like a hammer to her chest. She nearly gasped out loud at the sudden surgical precision of the pain in her heart. She tried not to close her eyes, and remember that same smirk on the face of the teenage boy in her room in Lima under the picture of Jesus. She found it hard to breath.

She reeled in her pain, chanting a mantra in her head, 'I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this…" as she walked to her desk to grab her notebook. She kept her back to Beth taking a moment to rein in her galloping emotions.

"I'm sorry, Quinn did you hear me?" Beth interrupted the whirlwind of thoughts.

She turned and smiled at her lookalike, "I'm sorry I didn't, could you please repeat what you said?"

"I asked if it was alright to call you Quinn."

Quinn sat in the chair opposite her doppelganger, and ran her sweaty palms over her skirt, making the move look smooth and practiced, not desperate and anxious, "I comfortable with Quinn. I think at this point what you want to call me is entirely up to you. I have a PhD but Doctor Fabray is too formal as is Ms. Fabray, and Mom is inappropriate at this juncture, so Quinn is a healthy medium," she cursed herself for rambling but was unable to stop the words once they started flowing. It was the only external sign of her discomfort. She blamed it entirely on all the years spent in Glee club with Rachel Barbra Berry.

Beth smirked at her once again with Puckerman's lips, and it was starting to grate on Quinn's nerves, but she pushed it down. Quinn was curious, and presumably in control of this session so she decided to take advantage of that.

"You're a lovely young woman, Beth. I see a lot of me in your physical features, but some of Noah in your personality, and your confidence is pure Shelby Corcoran. Where did you attend college?"

"University of California - Berkeley until we found out Mama was so sick, and then I moved back home and attended Columbia after she died," she crossed her arms, "Do you really give a shit where I went to college?" Beth said coldly in an even tone, reminiscent of her biological mother's alto voice.

Quinn saw a quick flash in the woman's eyes; impatience, rage, hate? It was gone just as quickly as it had shown up. It was mixed with sadness and grief but whatever it was went deeper than that.

She crossed her legs, sat back in her chair, and really looked at Beth Corcoran. The icy cool exterior was an act. Quinn had been fooled by it at first, but of course she recognized it. It was her signature move after all. Beth was struggling to keep up appearances, to remain unemotional and it made Quinn more relaxed.

She hadn't planned on this reunion happening, ever really, but Beth was sitting in her office and she was going to make the most of it. The older woman pinned her with her laser eyes, and raised the eyebrow that still intimidated the strongest of souls, "There are many things about you and your life I care about, and I'd like to discuss them with you if you are comfortable doing so. But, I don't appreciate the language or the attitude and I would recommend you refrain from using profanity when talking to me," she said coolly.

It took all of Beth's willpower not to squirm in her chair. She had grown up around Shelby Corcoran, an intimidating woman in her own right, but Quinn Fabray was an entirely different level of terrifying. She took a calm, steadying breath, "Or what?" She crossed her arms and her legs, and leaned back in her seat trying to look unintimidated.

Quinn was about to answer when she heard a crinkling noise when Beth had crossed legs. Her eyes inadvertently went to Beth's lap where the sound seemed to have originated from. It sounded like plastic, like perhaps she was wearing a diaper or rubber pants, but that couldn't be right. Her eyes slowly made her way up to Beth's face. The young woman's cheeks were both flushed a deep cherry red, and she was sweating profusely. She was clearly embarrassed, ashamed, or flustered, "Beth?" Quinn questioned when the woman wouldn't meet her eyes.

The young blonde suddenly jumped to her feet, "Shut up, just shut up. This was a mistake. I never should have come here," she was walking briskly towards the office door, "I don't know what I expected, but it isn't here! I'm sorry to have bothered you," she cried starting to completely lose her composure.

Quinn moved just as fast as her daughter, "Sweetheart, whatever it is that is upsetting you is nothing I haven't seen or at least heard of. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Just talk to me. I promise I won't judge you," she grabbed Beth's arm to prevent her from running out of the door and out of her life.

The slap echoed around the room. Quinn slowly put her hand up to her reddening cheek, as Beth pulled her hand away like she had been burned. They were both shocked into silence; it had obviously been a spur of the moment action on Beth's part. Her lips moved but no words came, so she turned on her heels and ran out of Quinn's office. She slammed the door, hard, and it sounded like finality, like a death knell to Quinn.

The older blonde stood staring at the door for a long time, unable to move. Her breathe was shaky, as were her legs, 'What the fuck just happened?' she thought to herself. Moving robotically, she went to her desk and sat down heavily, "Think, Quinn, think," she murmured to herself.

Beth came here for a reason, now what was it? She had been calm, cool, and collected at first so a histrionic confrontation didn't feel like the reason. She was well dressed and looked healthy so it didn't seem like it was health related like she needed money or a kidney or anything. She hadn't asked her biological mother any questions so it didn't seem to be a matter of curiosity or a need for an explanation.

Beth had seemed shocked by the slap, so Quinn didn't think that was her purpose for coming. Quinn sat slumped at her desk perplexed as to the reason for her daughter's visit, 'what had set Beth off like that?' she wondered. Then it came to her, the noise, and the crinkling plastic sound. Beth had been wearing a diaper, or something very much like it! The woman who had raised Beth, her mama, had died four years ago. It was the night before her 21st birthday. It was a milestone to Beth as well. She was seeking something; she was seeking comfort, solace, something. Then the thought struck Quinn Fabray like lightening; Beth wanted a mommy; her baby was looking for her mommy.

Quinn sat up like a shot, and grabbed her laptop. She was scrambling to think and search at the same time. She knew that Beth most likely still lived in New York City. She would have no reason to stay in New Haven for the night, especially being emotional and embarrassed. Beth would want to get as far away from Quinn as possible, as quickly as possible. If she wanted to go home she would take the Metro-North's New Haven Line from New Haven to Grand Central Station.

She quickly pulled up Metro-North's schedule and found exactly what she was looking for. Quinn checked her watch and knew she had barely enough time to catch Beth before she boarded that train. Once she did, Beth Corcoran would be lost to her forever. Quinn grabbed her purse and literally ran out of her office. She skipped the elevator, and saved time by dashing down the stairs. She was moving on sheer instinct and adrenaline. It wasn't the time to think, it was time to act.

For the first time since the day she signed the adoption papers, Lucy Quinn Fabray prayed. With all her strength she prayed, and with nothing held back she prayed. It was a simple three word prayer, "Help me, please?"

Abandoning her car in a no parking zone, Quinn ran in her heels and tight skirt for the platform. As she entered she heard the first announcement of the intent to board, and she ran even faster if possible. There were so many people, so she scanned quickly searching out slender, professional looking, blondes in skirts and heels. It made her smile unconsciously; Beth had picked up her fashion sense without even being around her. She licked her lips as she scanned, praying again.

She felt her heard thud heavily in her chest, and it felt like it stopped beating when she spotted Beth a few rows in front of her slowly moving forward to board. Quinn pushed and shoved her way to the front of the line, apologizing as she went. Her child needed her, and she wouldn't fail her again.

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion for Quinn. She could see Beth hugging herself as if trying to keep herself together emotionally as she moved forward in line. Just as Beth was about to step from the platform onto the train, Quinn grabbed her arm and jerked her backwards towards her. Beth lost her balance and fell back into her biological mother's chest. Quinn quickly wrapped her arms around Beth's waist to stop her from pulling away from her.

"What the fuck," Beth snapped angrily, her eyes going wide when she saw who held her tightly in her arms, "Quinn? What are you doing here?"

Quinn pulled Beth out of the human traffic and over towards a more private area. She noticed Beth was still too surprised to fight her. When they got over into a corner, Quinn gently guided the smaller woman up against the wall and stood directly in front of her, blocking Beth's escape.

Beth's eyes flashed emerald fire, and Quinn was amused, she did the same thing when she was angry, "I said what the fuck are you doing?" Beth barked coldly.

Quinn glared back at her before relenting, "I couldn't let you leave like that Beth. You came to see me for a reason," she moved slowly towards the cornered young woman, trying not to spook her.

"It doesn't matter, it was a mistake," Beth whispered, "I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry I bothered you," all her fire seemed to be leaving as quickly as it came.

"It wasn't a mistake, Beth, it wasn't," Quinn said sincerely, "I'm sorry if I upset you but talk to me!"

"I can't! You wouldn't understand!" The girl cried softly.

Quinn moved until she was face to face with Beth, moving slowly like she would with a wounded animal caught in a trap, she wrapped her arms around the younger woman's waist. She moved one hand down and patted her backside, feeling the heaviness of the diaper, "I do understand, Beth and I think I know why you came to see me. It's something that I want as well," she whispered reassuringly to the frightened girl in her arms, "Come home with me, and let me mother you. Be my baby…." She pulled the sobbing woman close to her chest and rocked her as she cried.

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To be continued…. This was the setup chapter obviously, and we are going to move quickly to the age-play with Beth coming home with Quinn.

I would appreciate comments and reviews, and I don't really plan on this being a long ongoing story. I have it planned out and will try to update quickly until it is finished.

Thanks for reading. Original poetry at the beginning by moi! :D