Perhaps One More

Note and Disclaimer: I have never owned the characters and plotlines of M*A*S*H. I'm just having too much fun with writing the characters, especially Frank Burns.

It was dawn, such a divine and beautiful morning that lit the landscape of this desert country which we must save from the Communists by the end of this year. Beside me on the bed was the lovely Major Margaret Houlihan, who I spent the night with. Oh, that had been so perfect. Our first night together consisted of a splendid dinner, holding hands under the table, clenching onto each other for dear life on her cot and then stripping each other's clothes off. It had been quick and wonderful and I was in a paradise I never knew existed. Margaret had such hot lips, one that sent an electric shock to my body and lasted for hours.

Soon, it would all be over. Margaret had yet to wake up and I had a shift to attend to, the dogs of war calling each to their own. Quietly, I got up and put my uniform back in, pressing it in the right places to make sure it was perfect and clean, and leaned over to kiss Margaret on the lips. She returned it all right, calling me "Bradley". However, that did not matter to me. A woman like her had needs and her needs would be met now…by me and me alone.

Lacing up my boots and limping to the door with no socks covering my poor sensitive feet, I opened the door slightly, checking left and right. I saw nobody, not even that corporal who likes dressing in dresses. No matter. It was an easy slip. I crept outside, tiptoeing back to the tent I shared with another doctor, now naming himself as Captain "Trapper" McIntyre. As I did though, the intercom came on and one of the enlisted men said there was a public service announcement. Normally, it would publicize something like moving someplace or wounded coming in, as it did yesterday, with two men coming in. Now, it sounded like a letter was being read…

My Darling Louise,

It was a tough trip getting here to Korea from the wonderful Indiana. However, I have safely arrived and have settled in here quite nicely, although I would rather have you here. Oh, my beloved wife, I have thought of you often, every second too, ever since I took my leave from you at the airport, waving goodbye as you and our young girls tearfully watched me climb onto a plane and head into the unknown, to fight that Communist horde.

My little wifey, oh, my Louise, how wonderful it is to write to you to inform you of my good fortune in coming here safely and without the enemy shooting at us. Although it is a sacrifice worth giving to Uncle Sam, it is still a hardship to glance upon those pictures you gave to me to gaze upon and see that I will not watch our wonderful children grow up and not be there for them in the coming months. I hope that General MacArthur is right and that we will be home by Christmas. Then, we shall be together again.

Oh, December…what a great time to come home and you shall see. What a present it will be, to come in the snow and knock on that door without telling you, seeing your cherished face shining with overflowing tears as I stroll through that door and hold you closely, telling you all of the adventures I've had while in this country. Then, I shall hold the girls one by one, telling all three of them in turn what I did and bringing them home gifts that they can show to their classmates, about how their brave doctor father went to the war and came back a hero.

You shall be proud of me, Louise, more so than my own mother, and that will make you the best wife there ever was. A good man needs a good wife at his side, no matter what, and you have been that and more to this Army man.

With all of my love, Frank

I was shocked and didn't know what to do, my mouth dropping open as everyone woke up and stared at the invisible voice projecting at the pole, laughing as they did. Most of them were afraid because they knew that I wrote it to my wife and it proclaimed everything and more publically and from a man who demanded respect. Others whistled and mentioned how great of a writer I am, poetry and all being my forte. I wasn't even exempt from my CO. Colonel Blake even came out of his tent with a cigar in his mouth and a nurse behind him, saluting when he saw me!

I was humiliated and I didn't know who the guilty party was, so angry and hurt was I at this. I was about to storm over to the colonel when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around immediately, expecting someone to say something smart to me, but all I saw was Margaret and her kissable lips quivering in sadness. She had tears in her eyes, the poor woman, and her face betrayed more than I thought possible, all of it having to do with me. I went to hug her, but she pushed me away, slapping me in the face as everyone gasped and whispered to each other.

"Oh, Frank, how could you?!" Margaret screamed in a rage, stomping away. "Oh, how could you do this to me?"

No longer was I paying attention to the camp that was now cheering me on and was witnessing this drama. My focus was now on the woman who made me the happiest the night before and would continue to hold onto the strings of my heart forevermore. I went after Margaret, passing her tent along with her and trying to grab her and reassure her that the letter meant nothing and that Louise was a loveless and ugly wife to begin with. There was no denying that I was married. I even admitted it to Margaret the night before. However, I needed to placate the woman of my dreams and Margaret was that, most certainly.

"Oh, Margaret, my love," I cooed, walking the perimeter of the camp with her as she cried in injustice, as was her right. "Oh, Margaret, this was nothing. Ignore this. This does not damper our relationship…"

"You…don't…love…me!" Margaret then screamed, walking further and further away from me.

"No, Margaret, I do love you," I protested all the way, my arms opened just for her. "I will love you always. Darling, give me a chance. Just give me one more chance. I'll prove my love to you, now and always. Perhaps one more time I can show you…oh, please Margaret, come back. Come back, Margaret, let me demonstrate my lasting love to you perhaps one more time…"