Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and all rights go to Rumiko Takahashi. Everything else belongs to me. _
"Just go, Inuyasha…" I whispered, watching through a fringe of black hair as the inu-hanyō's white ears fell flat against his skull before he muttered a quick apology and took off after the shinidamachū. How many times in the past three years had I said those simple little words, in hopes of him one day saying that he would stay? It didn't matter, because that was simply a dream and the reality was that Kikyō would always hold the bigger part of his heart, that whenever he looked at me, he would always see her.
Was I just a fill in for her while she was away? Did he simply use me as her replacement whenever he couldn't get the real thing? Was I doomed to always be the 'other woman' in the background? A sudden thought crossed my mind and rendered me momentarily furious. Did he expect me to be some sort of concubine for him?
"Kagome-chan?"
My head snapped up at the voice that broke me of my thoughts, eyes landing on the taijiya woman who had become a sister to me in my time in the sengoku jidai.
"I'll be okay, Sango-chan…" My voice trembled and I dug my blunt teeth into my lower lip, attempting to keep the tears at bay, my hands fisted in slight frustration. What did I do to deserve going through this continuous heartbreak?
My stormy, blue-grey orbs glanced around the clearing our group was now beginning to set up camp in. Shippō, my dear son, played alongside the nekomata, Kirara while Sango cleaned her weapon, keeping a careful eye on the lecherous hōshi that was tending the fire in front of her.
Had my ongoing betrayals become so normal that no one bothered to inquire further on my feelings? Every day, forced further and further into a numb shell with every look at Inuyasha with his nose inconspicuously thrust into the air in the guise of searching for Naraku, when in fact, he ran off as soon as Kikyō's scent filled his sensitive nostrils. Was this what my life had become?
I stood abruptly, my hands curling into fists at my side as the tears threatened to fall once more and I let my nails dig into my flesh. Despite everything that I had ever done to keep Inuyasha, he always left me as soon as the clay pot came around and I was tired of it. I was at my end, I had no more control left in me to hold my emotions at bay and whatever he saw whenever he returned, was only a fraction of the pain I was actually in. This went far beyond a simple crush and I knew that my heart may never heal. He wasn't just my first love, but my best friend and everything I ever wanted, even with his annoying quirks.
But with every visit to Kikyō, more of him was lost and somehow, deep inside, I knew that this was the last time that I would ever truly have him. This visit wasn't going to just be a friendly hello and I wouldn't survive emotionally, nor mentally when they returned together.
"I'm going for a walk." I announced to no one, even though everyone turned to stare at me.
"Ah, Kagome-sama, are you sure? It's getting dark out and it might not be s-"
"I can take care of myself!" I snapped my reiki crackling in the air around me dangerously, my tenuous control broken as my abilities were questioned and I glared at Miroku, daring him to speak up once again. Satisfied when he was silent, I stomped into the forest, anger fading with every step away until I was running, heart breaking as the distance from camp grew longer and my vision blurred until I could no longer see.
I still run, run away from whatever will be at camp when – if – I return, run away from the heart break, and the apology on Inuyasha's lips that spoke more volumes than anything he could have said otherwise.
"I'm sorry, Kagome."
Sorry he says, sorry for not choosing me, sorry for running off once again and sorry that he's bringing her back with him, giving her a place in the group. Tears were cutting paths down my face and I angrily swiped at my eyes, trying to rid myself of my obstructed view with little success. Even if it wasn't true, I couldn't help but feel as though I was being replaced and the thought, however unrealistic, caused a sob to break out from my throat. Doubts began to swirl in my head like a cloud of fog.
Who was I, really? Was I truly just a copy of the undead miko, forced to watch as she took back the life that had been cruelly taken from her fifty-three years ago? What was the point of me being here if she was back to take it all away? She was succeeding in things that had taken me three years learn and build, ripping it out of my hands with as much ease as taking candy from a child. How was I supposed to know if she wouldn't replace me in the hearts of my friends, when it was obvious that she already had with Inuyasha?
A sharp cry left my lips as I stumbled to the ground, pain lacing through my leg as my ankle made a loud cracking noise, alerting me to the possibility of a fractured ankle and my hands fisted as I struck the ground, screaming about the injustice of it all.
"Why? Why? Why?!" I wailed to the skies above, wondering what the hell I had ever done to deserve all of this? All I had wanted was a normal life, a nice boyfriend and to pass high school. But did I get that? No. Instead I was cursed to defeat a psychotic, arrogant, backstabbing, two faced, evil hanyō and be forced to watch as the man – er – inu-hanyō that I loved, go to someone else.
"What did I do to deserve this, huh? What sort of sick pleasure to you get from fucking with my life? If this is the plan for me, give it to someone else, I'm done!" I yelled, finding myself throwing a full blown tantrum in the middle of the forest. In hindsight, it was probably the worst thing I could be doing but damn it, I was pissed!
The sky rumbled in response and I was suddenly furious. "Don't you fucking dare!" I warned and shrieked as the rain began pelting down on my strewn body, causing my teeth to chatter noisily.
"Great. Just great! I'm lost, I'm hungry, it's starting to get dark, my ankle is broken and you just had to make it fucking rain!" I shouted and realized I was still crying, most likely the biggest sign being that with every word I spoke, my voice trembled and I was choking back my grief. What the hell was wrong with the world?
"I'm done! I quit!" I mentally stomped my foot for good measure and curled into a ball, letting my body succumb to whatever the elements were gracing upon me. My body was shutting down, but my mind refused to do the same and I was forced to relive the heart break I had been constantly put through for the past three years, from when my soul was ripped into pieces by the yōkai oni, Urasue to be given to Kikyō all the way to now, with Kikyō replacing me in every way possible.
I had saved her life, brought her back to Inuyasha and had refused to force my own feelings in the matter, but I got nothing back for it besides a broken ankle and a damaged heart. Sure, repeating it only made me sound more pathetic in my mind, but I couldn't wrap my heart around the truth, that it was over and I had been thoroughly cast aside. My head and body knew it, but my heart refused to listen, telling me to go back, to try, try again because I couldn't possibly fail another time, right? But there was nothing left in my body, no last reserve of strength and resilience to get past my emotional state. My body was done trying and frankly, so was I. With that last thought, my mind shut down and I fell unconscious…
My eyes snapped open as branches snapped in the immediate vicinity and with sudden adrenaline; I tried to pull myself to my feet only to find my face in the dirt. My ankle was throbbing insistently, my head felt fuzzy, it was almost pitch black and it was still raining, something I could steadily be aware of as my memories resurfaced. I was so screwed when I got back to camp and when another noise reached my ears; I had to change the when, to if I ever got back.
"Shit!" I was never one to curse much, but somehow, all the situations I was finding myself in warranted certain looseness with my language and I was sure that if Inuyasha was here, he would be blushing at the use of my words. Too bad he wasn't, I would have found it hilarious.
At the moment, all of my angst was in the back of my mind as I lifted my upper body from the mud and searched in the darkness for the source of the noises, cussing when more noises came instead. I was suddenly and irrevocably screwed.
Luckily for me, I had some resemblance of slight control when it came to my reiki and with new found determination, turned, set my ankle back into place with a yelp of pain, then proceeded to let my abilities heal my injury, or at least partially, since that's all I had time to do when the yōkai appeared.
It was too dark to see them completely, but there had to be at most, six or seven of them, barking, growling and snarling to each other in their own canine language, since that was basically the only way to describe it. They were ōkami, inu or even possibly kitsune, though the first two seemed more likely than the last due to the sheer size of them. No normal animal was the size that they were, at least two thirds larger than what was deemed normal in the modern era at least. Kōga's ōkami were normal sized as well, so these had to be some sort of new yōkai I had yet to experience. I found myself cursing my lack of knowledge for the umpteenth time in the past three years.
Ōkami or inu, it didn't much matter at the moment seeing as there was a distinct possibility that I would be dead before I even had time to contemplate their species, which right now, seemed like a pretty stupid thing to be focusing on and I made a whine-like noise in the back of my throat as I rose to my feet, looking around me at the eyes shining in the moonlight.
I'm really sorry, ōkami yōkai, but could you please not eat me? I currently am having a horrible day and would prefer not to meet eminent demise at the hands – er – paws of a bunch of wild animals. Thank you for your consideration, I'm going to run now!
Figuring it to be both the worst –and best- course of action, I chose a direction that didn't immediately involve me getting bitten and took off in a dead run, adrenaline curing me of my lingering pain. Who the hell cared about pain when you were about to die? I could hear them, feel them, panting behind me and their howls alerted me to the fact that I was, indeed, their prey and as stated before, completely screwed. I didn't have the energy to run away from a group of frothing beasts and I knew that my only choice was to fight, which would undoubtedly, turn out to be a shit decision. How do I get into these situations?
Spinning on my heels as I entered a clearing, I watched as the beasts came into the light and I felt like a fish, mouth gaping as I took in their sizes, ranging from above average to their heads at the same level as mine. At one hundred and fifty seven centimeters, that was a frightening thing to discover. The sudden thought of them being as tall as Sesshōmaru made me shudder in fear, as he was probably the tallest person – yōkai – I knew and I glared at the sky for the sudden curse of being forever short.
So caught up in my ponderings of the world and its lack of relief when it came to one, Kagome Higurashi, I failed to notice that one ōkami – inu yōkai animal thing had decided to sneak behind me.
Suddenly I heard someone screaming and vaguely found myself asking them to shut up. Oh wait! That was me screaming like a little girl. How embarrassing. Girls everywhere would be proud.
I continued to scream as something was injected into my veins and I stumbled to the ground, carried down by the weight of the smallest of the creatures on my back with my shoulder between its jaws. The pack was howling its victory and I could feel them come closer, more incisors sinking into my flesh. I was going to be eaten alive.
"No!" I felt my untapped powers snap into existence, flowing through my body like a warm, tidal wave of water and let it loose, dizzy as the yōkai were painfully shoved away from my body by the force of my reiki alone. They were whimpering, yelping as purification powers licked at their jowls and I laughed victoriously in my head as they shook their heads, took one look at the glowing ningen that was supposed to be dinner before taking off in the opposite direction as though I would stand to destroy them all.
Nope, no chasing puppies for Kagome! The thought of chasing them with newspaper made hysterical laughter bubble up in my chest but only sobs escaped me at my near death experience. Whatever the hell had been injected into my veins was being burned out by my miko power but I could still feel it there, inching in at the edges wherever my powers missed, probably trying to keep me from bleeding alive as that seemed to be more of a threat then being injected with something that made me feel like liquid lava was in my body.
The sudden need for sleep overwhelmed me, but with what had happened last time, I knew that it wasn't a possibility and with strength I didn't know I had, I got to my feet once more. My once, locked away miko abilities were out with a vengeance, healing every wound in my body and attempting to help restore mental equilibrium, though I doubted they would get very far with that.
So far, I had been dumped by my not-really-my-boyfriend boyfriend, gotten lost in the woods, broke my ankle, slept in the pouring rain, woke up to find myself about to get eaten, almost get eaten and have my sorely needed miko abilities completely unlock. Could have happened a lot fucking sooner if you asked me, but no one was and I grumbled more about the indecency of the world. Seriously, what the hell else could go wrong?
The thundering of something moving towards my position answered my questions and I physically stomped my foot this time. Maybe I'll get lucky and it's Sesshōmaru-sama! At least he'll kill me quickly, yeah?
Too bad the world hates me and decided I need to get a kuma instead.
At least it isn't a yōkai! My mind was so helpful at the moment.
Without a thought, I took off in another run, filled with new energy from my abilities that allowed me to flit through the forest like a ninja, something I was insanely grateful for at the moment, as the enraged kuma seemed certain that destroying everything in its path was the best way to ensure the death of whatever had decided to bother it and whatever the hell it was doing.
"I swear to kami, it wasn't me!" I screamed, feeling hysterical once again as I was now talking to an animal that could, in no way, understand a word of what I was saying and I resisted the urge to grab a tree to begin banging my head against it. There was something so not right about this picture and it was wrong in more ways than one. What the hell is wrong with me?
Finding myself to be the subject of humor of a bunch of kami is what is wrong with me.
Yes! I hear water! With an extra burst of life, I ran out of the forest and barely stopped myself from falling face first into the abyss, which would have just been dandy if not for the fact that I liked breathing, thank you very much.
The kuma was close now and I panicked, head snapping in all directions to try to find some way to escape but without success. My hearing was suddenly sharper and I could tell exactly which direction the animal was going to appear, alongside with how badly it actually stunk. Can't believe I didn't notice that before.
Please have let myself be bitten by super heroes!
With one last plea to the Gods, and a bunch of apologies to everyone that loved me, I turned back to the cliff. Then I jumped.
Hello all! Yoro here! Hopefully you all enjoyed the first chapter of Ichido Kama. If ya'll have any questions, ask them and I'll do my best to answer. If you have any suggestions let me know! Also, should she end up with Kōga-kun or Sesshōmaru-sama? We shall have to see who wins! Review please!