This Distance Will Be Our Downfall

Chapter 1

Have you ever met someone that made your heart flutter and your knees shake? That one person that made it hard to breathe, that scared the shit out of you? That one person that you wanted to stop talking to you because you were scared you would say the wrong thing, but didn't have the strength to let go? That was Danny. That's what he did to me.

Our relationship was completely casual, but I wanted so much more.

The thing I forgot to mention about Danny is that he lives 1,471.1 miles away, 21 h 40 minutes driving time. I live in Georgia and he lives in Texas.

Danny was the outsider that everyone wanted, or that's how I always had pictured him. He was a dancer, and the sexiest one I had ever seen. He had tan skin and plump lips. He was Hispanic, and sometimes if I would say or do something crazy he would say a phrase in Spanish.

I was the kid in the in-crowd that felt like the outsider. I was on the swim team (far from dancer) and much less graceful on my feet. I was far from sexy. I had pale skin. (A kid at my school actually asked me if I was a vampire once.) My lips were chapped, and I was white. I didn't know Spanish, the language of love. But I was fine with not being the hot one. Danny had enough hot in him for the both of us, and when I talked to him I felt like someone. For once I didn't feel like an outsider.

I was in Danny's room staring at his two-ply bed sheets and dance posters. On the table by his bed was a bottle of lube and a box of extra large Trojans. I was scared and equally excited, lost in thought and longing. I wanted him now more than ever before.

"How do you like the place?" He asked me.

"It looks like you. The posters. The trend. The condom size." I snickered. I had seen pictures of him, and (from what I had seen,) it looked big on camera.

"I like you." He said. "A lot"

"I like you too." I responded. I opened my mouth to say something else, but it was paused by the swift feeling of his lips on mine. His mouth tasted like spearmint toothpaste and cinnamon candy.

I moved my hands around his body letting my hand feel all of the mountains and chasms of his body, and he did the same for me. Time passed and we continued to kiss. Somehow our shirts were off and we were on the bed. He continued to feel my body. Although lying on my back with someone on top of me, between my legs, wasn't the most comfortable position, I could have stayed there for the rest of my life.

He was what kept me alive. I fed off of his lips and stretched around his body. He was where I fit, perfectly, for once. I definitely didn't feel like an outsider anymore.

It was so perfect, and then he stopped. He stood up with nothing but his black skinny jeans left on. He looked perfect. "I cant. I mean, I can if you want. But is this what you want? I don't want to make you do something that you don't want to. I care about you too much."

I kissed him. "I want too." I said. We kissed again, and I began to unzip his pants. "I want you." He placed his hands on my back and moved his hands south. I began to breathe heavy.

He moved my head down towards him. I'd never had anything like that in my mouth, and it made my throat tight and sore, but it felt good. It was a sting I didn't want to end.

We kept that going for a while—his hands moving inside me, my head moving on him. We were sweaty. We were breathing heavy. We were nervous, but we were together.

"How far do you want to go?" He asked me.

"I don't care, but I don't want to stop."

For a minute we just stared. We were naked and we let the view settle on our eyes for a minute. We smiled at each other then went back at it. Him on top of me again, my legs in the air, our breaths heavy, our moans loud, his swift movements inside of me moving slow, then fast, then constant.

"Don't stop." I told him. "Never stop."

"I will always want you. I could never have enough of you."

The air smelled pure and musty. We had been at it for hours, but it only seemed like minutes. "Fuck." I yelled, along with every other curse in the alphabet. It was amazing. I stared up at him, and continued to kiss him. He began to move his lips down my neck and all over my upper body.

He started to slow down, then he grunted, then I felt a burst of sticky liquid inside of me. It was a weird sensation. I trusted him, and was glad we hadn't used a condom. This felt pure, with passion.

"I love you." He said.

I hadn't expected that. This was Danny. I barely knew anything about him, not the deep stuff, just the public stuff everyone knew. And this was the first time we'd actually met in person. I knew I loved him, too, but I wasn't ready to say it.

We talked for a few hours before falling asleep side-by-side, body-to-body. We fit perfectly together, and I knew I loved him, even if I wasn't ready to say it. He knew it, too. I felt sexy when I was with him, not like the pudgy-pale "vampire kid" everyone else thought of me, but a beautiful/desirable human. I felt like someone, not an outsider. I was just a boy in love with another boy. And even though the distance between us, I was on a high, that no one could bring me down from.

I fell asleep. My hand locked in his, leaving my heart out in the open.

*The first installment in a series based on long-distance, bi-racial, gay lovers.