It wasn't her alarm that woke her up; it was the twisting of her stomach that had her flying upright in bed. Sweat broke out on her forehead, it dribbled down her neck and under her arms. Her heart was beating so hard she was sure it would burst straight out of her chest. She could hear the blood pumping in her ears and feel her frame shake.

Annie closed her eyes—a figure hitting the ground in front of the car; the half empty vodka bottle in the seat beside her; the fear that it had actually happened—passed through her closed lids. She snapped them open and could feel the tears burn behind them. The tears that had never stopped ever since that morning, the tears that she knew would be worthless in front of any judge. Guilty tears, tears of a murderer.

I killed someone. I killed someone!

The realization hit her, as if she hadn't felt it before, and she bent over to muffle the sob that escaped her mouth.

Annie Wilson, good girl, murdered an innocent man and left the scene of the crime.

She didn't even know the man's name or if he'd had any family; people who were devastated to know he was gone. Dead. They didn't know who did it, they didn't know that his killer was walking around, free.

He was dead. All because of her.

But I hadn't meant to. It had been an accident!

Even though that was true, that she hadn't meant to hit him, she'd still be arrested. Still be put in jail under the charge of manslaughter.

Just the thought of that being next to her name had her shivering. She wasn't a killer, not even close. Killers were heartless monsters, people who only thought of spilling blood and causing pain. That wasn't Annie.

But that wouldn't matter to a court, to the family; all they'd see is a girl who killed someone.

I can't tell anyone.

Annie had kept this secret with her all summer, carrying it around like a noose around her neck. If she'd told anyone, if anyone found out, she'd be dead. Her family would hate her. Disown her. Freeze her out just like her friends had.

She could see her parent's disappointed looks; her mother sobbing and her father glaring at her through the bars of a cell. Dixon would hate her more than he already did. They'd become the talk of the town, her dad would have to quit his job. They'd have to move back to Kansas. Or somewhere where no one knew they had a daughter who was a killer.

She'd be alone.

Forever.

A chill ran up Annie's spine at the thought, she didn't want that. She hated being by herself. Especially now when all she could think about was that man. She'd become obsessed over the summer, checking the news for any reports on him. Having alerts sent to her email about the progress he was in at the hospital. What his family had to say about his passing, she wanted to know everything.

But the more she found out the worse she felt. The guilt and pain building inside her every day. She'd spend days in front of the computer, just waiting for her name to pop up in a headline. Waiting by her phone to see if the police were going to call her and ask her to come down to the station.

The paranoia was heavy on her, it dragged her down and made her antsy. Even the most relaxing of days were cut short when she'd see a news logo on the TV or hear police sirens.

She had tried to put it out of her mind, had tried to do things that would calm her. Like doing yoga or going for a jog or drinking some hippie tea. But nothing worked. Nothing stuck, when she'd be finished with an activity she'd go right back to thinking about the accident.

Annie didn't know how long she could keep this up. She could feel herself unraveling and didn't know how to stop it. She knew she'd break soon, she just didn't know when or how.

"Hey, sweetie." Debbie Wilson greeted Annie as she made her way into the kitchen hours later.

Debbie was by the stove, flipping pancakes and frying bacon. Her blonde hair was up in a ponytail and her smile was bright.

Annie felt her chest tighten. Her mother didn't have a clue and her kindness made Annie feel like knives were scrapping her heart.

"Hi." Annie gave a weak smile and took a seat at the island, she rested her elbows on the marble counter.

"How'd you sleep?" Debbie asked as she put a few pancakes on a plate beside the stove.

"Good." Annie lied. She'd kept waking up from bad dreams or her stomach twisting in pain.

"So, what are your plans for today?"

"Uh—"

"Yo, I'm out!" Dixon's voice sounded from the entryway, cutting Annie off.

"Wait, Dix!" Debbie called, "Want some breakfast first?"

"What do you got?"

"Pancakes, bacon, the usual."

"You had me at pancakes." Dixon made his way into the kitchen.

Annie caught his eye and she quickly looked at her hands; they were shaking. She put them under her thighs and bit the inside of her cheek.

"Dixon, say good morning." Debbie pressed, her eyes going from him to her daughter. She'd noticed that Dixon had been short with Annie and she knew why, but she didn't like it. All summer she'd tried to get them to talk to each other but Dixon wouldn't budge. He'd always say he had plans or that he didn't feel like talking about it.

Annie couldn't blame him. She had been the one to rat out the party and get him and the others sent to summer school.

Her dad had practically agreed with her, she knew what she had done the night she'd made the call. She knew she'd get the cold shoulder from people. She just didn't think her dad would be one of them. He'd been the one to make the announcement after all.

"Moring." Dixon murmured before picking up a pancake and taking a bit out of it, "Look I got to go." He kissed Debbie on the cheek and turned to jog out of the kitchen.

It was silent for a while, the only sound coming from the sizzling bacon and the birds outside.

"So, like I was saying," Debbie started, her voice bright, "any plans for the day?"

Annie looked up, "No." Her voice was flatter than she'd meant it to be.

"Great!" Her mother exclaimed, "Let's do a girls' day! We haven't had one in a while." She pushed a plate of pancakes in front of Annie.

"A girls' day? What would we do?" Annie asked, unease filling her stomach. She hadn't left the house all summer, scared she'd run into people from school.

"Anything you want!" Debbie walked over to take the seat beside Annie, her own plate of pancakes in her hand.

"Like . . . ?"

"Like go to the mall, get some shopping in." She raised her eyebrows, "Go to the spa, and get a massage and our nails done. The beach. Anything!" Her excitement was tangible.

"Okay." Annie croaked.

Debbie's hands went to clasp hers, her smile now soft, "I just want you to have a good day, baby. I know things have been rough with your friends and all, but I want you to know you still have me. I love you and I'm proud that you broke up that party. Who knows, you could've saved someone from getting hurt."

I didn't.

Annie swallowed thickly, "Th—thanks." Tears bit at the corner of her eyes.

"It'll get better, Annie, trust me. If your friends truly love you, they'll forgive you." Debbie pushed a lock of hair behind Annie's ear and cupped her cheek.

"Mmm—hmm." She nodded and cleared her throat.

Debbie leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, "I love you."

"Me too." Annie whispered, a lump rising in her throat.

Debbie loved her, but would she still if she knew the truth?

"So, are you going to go to the-end-of-summer party tonight?" Debbie asked as she leafed through rack of dresses.

They were in a small boutique and browsing through clothes; the place wasn't too packed and a pop song played over the speakers. It was a bright and cheery place; Annie couldn't help but feel a little put-off by it.

"I don't think so." Annie murmured as she listlessly turned a hanger full of jeans.

"You should go, it sounds like fun. I hear it's at the country club, haven't been there in a while. See people from school." Her mother's tone was bright and encouraging.

Annie felt her skin itch, she'd rather stay home than see people who wanted to claw her eyes out. She had gotten enough glares and hissed whispers on the last day of school to last her a lifetime. She'd rather not push it.

"Not really in the mood to see people." She answered.

"Annie." Her mother's firm tone had her looking up. Debbie's eyes were trained on her face, "I want you to go to this party."

"But—"

"No, no 'buts,' I want you to go. You've spent the whole summer cooped up in your room, you need to get out of the house. See people, meet some new ones. I know you don't want to see your friends; but you're only making them hold you down even more. Show them that they don't bother you, that you'll go wherever you want and enjoy your time there." Debbie walked over to Annie and held her by her shoulders.

"Don't let them make you feel small. You're much too short already." Debbie joked.

Annie found herself smiling at that lame tease.

"Just go, meet people, have some fun." Her mother ordered.

Annie could feel her smile slipping, she knew she couldn't ignore her mother's words. She couldn't let her fears win, even though they already had.

"Okay. I'll go." Annie said, though her voice wavered.

Debbie grinned, "That's my girl." She kissed her forehead and leaned back, "Now, let's go find you a rockin' outfit!"

Annie chuckled at her mother's out-of-date slang but let her be lead toward the back of the store.

Hopefully she wasn't making a mistake.

A/N: Hi! This is my first 90210 fic and i've had a great time writing it! I've posted this on AO3 and Wattpad if you'd want to check it out there! Thank you so much for reading and please leave a comment! xx