A Home for Hatter
Chapter One: The Blue Apron Bet
Hatter came home from work and threw his keys onto the catch-all table, grumbling as he shrugged out of his jacket.
The combination bookstore-coffee shop, Cup O' Prose, where he worked had recently come under new management after the original owner had sold the store to pay for her son's ridiculously expensive tuition at some Ivy League college or other.
The new owner had promptly selected her loser-slash-idiot boyfriend as the new manager—although for all Hatter could tell, the only thing the fool could manage was packing away the store's entire stock of donuts and still have room to throw down half the cakes as well.
As such, Hatter had undertaken the managerial responsibilities—without a change in pay or recognition of his commitment to keeping the shop running—and started working longer, more tedious hours to keep the small shop afloat.
Until today, that is.
Today, the absent-owner had deigned to visit her lowly employees and awarded her boyfriend a brand new car for being such an 'efficient and successful manager'.
Gary—the manager of lard-ass cumbuckets—had smiled smugly and in a sleazy voice, had begun to enumerate all the wonderful business-attracting goodies the shop had recently promoted…taking credit for everything Hatter had done in the last three months!
When Jenny, the owner, had pulled out a fancy key fob that unlocked an equally fancy Mercedes—Hatter had promptly removed his ugly yellow apron, walked over to her, laid it in her hand and said, "I quit. I'll be damned if I keep working 75 hours a week managing this place just so your tool of a boyfriend can keep tapping your ass and taking credit for my efforts in keeping this place from going bankrupt while he gorges himself on the sweets we're supposed to stock for paying customers."
Both 'tool' and 'tapping your ass' were terms he'd overheard some of the other disgruntled employees mutter under their breath so he figured they must be particularly offensive.
The stunned look on Jenny's face had been well-worth it, Gary had gotten flustered and sputtered something about 'teaching him a lesson in respect' & the employees had stared in horror as he calmly turned and left the shop.
Besides, he'd reasoned as he rode the train home to New Rochelle, it wasn't like he had to work at a shit-heap coffee shop now that Gwen and Ace had seen to his financial comfort—courtesy of the money Winston had supplied Gwen with and which she had smartly invested over the years. Well, he amended, Ace hadn't done much for the financial security, but he had assisted Hatter in selecting a ring Alice would like. Say what you would about Ace's personality, but he did have an almost eerie knack for choosing gifts for women…Alice had squealed and started crying with delight when Hatter had opened the ring box to reveal a sapphire set in a silver band.
"Alice…you home?" He called out.
"In the kitchen," she replied in a slightly frazzled voice.
Hatter wandered down the hallway, past the entryway leading into the living room, and straight back to the kitchen.
When he stepped over the threshold from hardwood floors to stone—stone Hatter suspected Gwen had smuggled in from Wonderland given that it was always the perfect temperature and muffled footsteps into nonexistence—a vision of gloriousness greeted him.
Alice was standing at the stove, her heart-shaped bum deliciously framed by sheer blue lace. The bow of the apron was so big that there was only a scant bit left over, tickling across Alice's pre-butt dimples.
Alice, apparently planning on being a good sport about the lost bet, was wearing heels that had been dyed to match the blue of the apron.
"I love you so much," Hatter said happily.
"Are you addressing me or my butt?" Alice asked as she looked over her shoulder at him.
"I'm not really sure at the moment," Hatter answered honestly. He shrugged out of his shirt, which he'd begun to unbutton as he'd walked down the hallway intent on some naked home-time, and walked up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him, grinding his awakening erection against her backside.
"I'm addressing your butt," Hatter added a moment later.
"Charming," Alice said dryly before she turned back to the stove. She was not going to allow Hatter to distract her to the point that she burned the meal she was preparing.
Hatter's hand drifted down, slipping under the half apron and began to caress her folds in slow, agitating circles as he continued to grind against her.
"Hatter, I'm trying to cook," Alice said gruffly.
"Mmm, and it smells good, don't stop on my account," he murmured in a lust-heavy voice. He slid one long, work-roughened finger down, testing her wetness.
"I can't cook if you're trying to maul me with sex," Alice said.
He paused his actions and looked over her shoulder before he said, "Wait a minute! Your cooking is supposed to smell like fire and badness."
"Hatter!" Alice shrieked indignantly at the comment and swatted his leg with the wooden spoon she'd been using to stir the mixture.
"Well, it's true," he said in a slightly miffed voice. The spoon had stung a good deal and he wasn't in the mood for spankings. Not if he was the recipient anyway.
"If you must know," Alice said, turning around and confronting him, "Red and I have been taking cooking courses together when we both have free days from class. Gwen suggested the idea and we agreed it was an excellent one. And by the way you lost the bet! Red took a pregnancy test last week and she's pregnant which means I was right. She didn't rely on Wonderland-magickyness…she used Earth-science and she didn't find out until two weeks after they returned from Wonderland so HA!"
"It's good that you and Red have been spending time together…It must be nice for you to have a lady-friend you can confide in about all the Wonderland stuff. Bet it was difficult for you to explain to your Oyster-friends about my Wonderland quirks without sounding insane…" Hatter said, ignoring the latter part of Alice's rant. He would focus on that later…or never…
"Yes, it is. But aside from that….You owe me. The terms of the bet—"
"I know the terms of the bet," Hatter interrupted sullenly. "I have to do something girly and embarrassing that you can take photos…"
He already had an idea what that might be, but he refused to concede gracefully.
"Yeah well…" Alice glanced down at him, seeming to notice his appearance for the first time. "Why are you half-naked?"
"Naked home-time," Hatter grumbled.
"Bad day at work, huh?" Alice asked. Hatter always stripped down when he'd had a rough day at work, saying he needed to be in his own skin for a few hours without any scolding from Alice to help him recover.
Needless to say, there'd been a lot of free-range penis in Alice's life over the last three months.
"Gary the Slug got recognized as an awesome," Hatter said the word with a high, gushing voice and a sour expression, "…Manager, took credit for all my ideas and work, AND he got a brand new Mercedes….And then I quit."
Hatter summarized the day in as brief a manner as possible as he unbuttoned his trousers and shoved them down. He stepped out of them and kicked them under the dine-in table.
"Hatter…" Alice didn't want to seem unsympathetic, but she couldn't resist pointing out the obvious, "You realize you could buy yourself a different Mercedes for every day of the week with the money you 'inherited' from Gwen, right?"
"It's the principle of the matter, Alice!" Hatter announced with frustration. He grabbed his boxers in his fist and ripped them off his legs with the force of his disgust over the Gary-Jenny-coffee shop incident.
"Rrriiight." Alice drawled the word, distracted by the brute strength Hatter had displayed. No wonder Ace was always pissing Gwen off…it was kinda hot when your significant other got all riled up.
Especially when that significant other had a gleam in their eye that said you were going to be the recipient of the kind of fucking that resulted in the cops showing up at your door courtesy of your complaining neighbors…not that Alice knew anything about that.
"You know…Alice…you promised that when we got our own place—that was not Jack's former douchebag-den—that we would fuck in every room in the house," Hatter said with a lusty grin.
"I did say that," Alice agreed in a breathy whisper, feeling her knees start to shiver with desire.
"And this house has a generous amount of rooms," Hatter drawled, advancing toward her with twitching member in hand.
"Uh huh…But later because I'm making a skillet meal right now and you have to keep an eye on it to keep the cheese from burning black once it's melted…" Alice said half-heartedly. She really wanted to be able to prepare one meal that didn't end with a fire extinguisher, but Hatter's erection was making it difficult for her to stick to the steadfast determination to succeed that she'd had before he came home.
She felt her determination start to slip through her grasp like sand flowing out of a cracked hourglass.
His eyes raked over her body, admiring her bare breasts and licking his lips when his gaze reached her shaved mound, covered by the sheer apron.
Hatter stepped forward, grabbing her by the hips and pulling her against him as his mouth crashed down on hers.
The last tendrils of her reluctance vanished as he began to thrust his tongue into her mouth like he was pillaging a village as he rolled his hips against her and dug his fingers into her ass, pulling her against him until it felt like he was trying to push himself straight through her.
Alice moaned and tunneled her fingers through his hair, gripping it like a lifeline as her legs started to give out.
Hatter was about to lift her up and set her on the top when he realized they were standing in front of the stove. It wouldn't do to scorch her pretty little bottom…
Groaning, he staggered back a few steps, pulling her with him, until he bumped into the sideboard Gwen had stationed against the wall to store her staggering collection of linen tablecloths and napkins.
He turned around and placed Alice's bottom on the sturdy top, grateful for Gwen's disdain regarding cheap laminate furniture. At least this piece of kit wouldn't collapse under them the way Jack's flimsy modern coffee table had mid-lovemaking. Hatter had ended up picking short, toothpick-thin splinters out of his butt for a week, cursing Jack's name with every piece he removed. Alice's amused smile hadn't helped his mood any, either.
"Aw, yeah, now this is a good piece of wood," Hatter murmured, running his hands across the smooth antique surface.
"I agree," Alice said breathily as she wrapped her hand around his erection and tugged.
Hatter groaned and grabbed her hips, pulling her toward him as he bestowed another lusty kiss on her mouth.
Alice whimpered and reached up with both hands to grab his face as she wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him closer, moaning as the tip of his erection bumped against her opening from the movement.
Hatter pulled away and abruptly tugged her off the sideboard, turning her around and placing her hands on the surface.
He pressed a foot between her calves, urging her legs apart, and she complied. His hand slide across her front once more, rubbing his palm against her until she was whimpering and arching up on her tiptoes as she begged for him to slide his fingers lower and fill her.
Hatter gripped himself with his free hand and guided himself through her spread legs, nudging at her opening and teasing her with shallow thrusts that brushed the head of his penis through her folds until it rubbed against her clit.
His hand abandoned its teasing strokes, moving up to pluck at her nipple knowing the sensation would make her gush with arousal.
"Now," Alice groaned, wiggling back against him urgently.
Hatter wanted to argue, since he needed a lengthy, sweaty fuck to get his mind off the day's events, but Alice knew what her butt did to him and used it to her advantage, rubbing herself back into his groin like she was dancing to pelvis-grinding music.
"God, I wish you'd wake up one day with sex-amnesia," Hatter groaned.
Alice chuckled huskily, having heard the complaint many times before. At first, she'd taken offense to it, but over the course of their relationship, she'd come to understand it was his way of saying she had a talent for making him come unglued.
Hatter had a way of disguising compliments as insults and she often wondered if it was a Wonderland thing or a man thing.
"You know you love it," she said in a low aroused voice.
"I feel no such thing, you devious minx!" He grunted as he began to slide inside her.
"The Hatter doth—" Before Alice could finish mangling Shakespeare, she felt a sharp smack to her bottom. "Hatter!" She shrieked.
"That's for the wooden spoon," he growled. Then, he smacked her other cheek and said, "That's because I felt like it."
He smiled with delight at her sweet little noises of righteous indignation and he pushed farther inside of her, eager to feel more of her wet heat surrounding him.
Alice fell forward onto the sideboard, propping her forearms onto it and curling her fingers into the molding around the edge of it.
"Oh…more…" She pleaded as Hatter started to pull away.
"Well, if you insist," Hatter purred, spanking her again.
"You know what I meant, Hatter!" Alice shrieked. She hated when he got into a playful mood instead of laying into her with his big, gorgeous cock. She knew if she said as much he would only tease her more.
"Oh…you must have meant…this…" He drove himself in to the hilt and Alice's toes curled with pleasure and her head drifted forward until her forehead touched the cool surface of the sideboard.
"Yeah, that was it, wasn't it?" He purred, rolling his hips in a leisurely way.
"Mmph," Alice mumbled as she turned and pressed her cheek against the surface and reached back to grab Hatter's hands and pull them up to her breasts.
Hatter grinned and began moving in earnest. He was a bit surprised when he heard the sideboard start rocking in time with his thrusting, but figured it had something to do with the unbalanced leg Gwen had mentioned on Moving Day.
Just as Hatter was starting to enjoy himself—and the wall was starting to develop a bit of a dent from the force of the sideboard banging against it, his phone began to peal in his pocket.
Hatter ignored it at first, but with each repetition of the obnoxiously tuned 'Your Dickhead Boss is Caaallling' as someone whistled in accompaniment, he got more and more pissed off until he was forced to slip out of Alice, stalk over to his pants and pull out his phone—ripping his pocket in the process.
That pissed him off even more since they were one of his favorite pairs.
"What d'you want?" He demanded, his patience obliterated by the ringtone Alice had selected—he'd thought it was funny at the time, but now…he wanted to buy a gun just so he could shoot his phone.
"Hi, David, this is Jennifer…I'm just calling to speak to you about your behavior this afternoon. Following your…exit…from the employee meeting, I had several of your peers approach and they were concerned about how business would be handled without you present. It seems you're quite popular with the customers and—"
Hatter repositioned himself behind Alice. He'd tuned Jenny out about two seconds after she'd called him David. The fact that she was oblivious to his name preference was enough to shut him down completely.
"Get to the point, would ya? I'm in the middle of something," He barked, thrusting fast and hard to make Alice moan loud and long.
Jenny spluttered—apparently his tactic had worked and she'd overheard Alice—and then stammered, "I've decided to expand the shop's hours to midnight…and excluding your behavior today, you're the perfect candidate for the evening manager."
"No thanks. I've decided to become a man of leisure and spend my waking hours up to my nose in sex," Hatter said.
"Hatter!" Alice shrieked in disbelief, trying ineffectually to smack him for his cheeky response.
"In fact, I'm even thinking of opening me own shop. Hatter's Tease…this country could use a decent sex shop," he said crisply before he hung up the phone. He turned it off for good measure.
"I can't believe you just did that!" Alice scolded, looking over her shoulder at him with a disapproving scowl.
"What…fucking you when I'm on the phone or hanging up on my former boss?" Hatter asked with a wicked grin.
"Both!"
"Aww…well…" Hatter purred. "I'll just have to use a little sex magic so you'll forget all about that, eh, puss?"
"Sex magic isn't re—oh!" Alice's smug retort quickly turned into gasps of pleasure as Hatter's right hand slid down to her front and he began to press his palm against her.
"Did I mention I can make my right hand vibrate?" He asked smugly as she started moaning desperately, shrieking and writhing under him. "It's part of my gift. Can make my right hand hard enough to break anything, or cold enough to freeze water…Whatever I want, really."
"Can you…do that lower too?" Alice panted out.
Hatter grinned as he nipped at her shoulder and said, "Now that wouldn't do a thing for you, Alice. I know that. Remember when I had you in the shower with that double-vibrating turtle-crocodile-platypus or whatever they called it?"
"It was a rabbit, Hatter," Alice groaned, feeling her pussy clench and spasm around him as he mercilessly covered her with his vibrating hand, stimulating every sensitive part of her as he pumped in and out.
"You know…I've always wondered…" Hatter's voice trailed off and he became oddly quiet—and judging by his leisurely pace and motion—distracted.
"Well damn…It was a good thought at least," he grumbled.
"Wha?" Alice groaned her body with exhaustion from his assault.
"Was wondering if I could change my hand into another body part…apparently not or you'd have a tongue on your clit," Hatter admitted in a sullen tone.
Alice was a little relieved at this. She didn't think she could handle a Hatter who was able to fuck her senseless and lick her to ecstasy at the same time. She already knew she couldn't handle the amazing vibrating hand as it was.
"Don't tell me you're done already," Hatter complained when he realized she was boneless on the sideboard.
"Vibrating…hand…" Alice murmured sleepily, sighing and letting her eyes flutter closed.
"Damn it!" Hatter resolved never to use that trick on Alice again unless he was trying to make up for overexcitement on his part.
"You can still…finish…Don't…mind," Alice said with a yawn.
"Well, then, I'm going to shower your butt with my cum," Hatter grumbled.
That made Alice jerk out of her sleepy, post-orgasm mode.
"No you're not!" She shrieked, eyes popped open as she glared over her shoulder at him.
"Hey, go back to sleep. You said—," Hatter said casually.
"Hatter, the last time I let you do that, I woke up with origami animals stuck to my back," Alice said, eyes narrowed at him.
"I was bored!" Hatter objected, grinning inwardly. He knew the butt-shower comment would rile her up.
"Fuck me. No cum-showers, no origami reindeer, no…whatever that stuff was that you put in my hair—"
"That was also cum," Hatter said, unable to resist riling her up further. It hadn't been; it was wax from the vanilla candle on the nightstand that Hatter had blown out when he'd realized how close Alice was getting to setting her long brunette hair on fire from the flame as she rode him. She'd gotten wax in her hair from her wild ride, but at least the night hadn't ended with a frantic phone call to her favorite salon for a hair appointment.
"What the hell, Hatter?" Alice was so angry at this point that she thumped her forehead against the sideboard several times, muttering, 'I'm about to marry a god-damn beast.'
"Well, if a beast I am…" Hatter grinned and began to fuck her feverishly, grunting and growling as he gripped her hips tight as he thrust in and out with wild abandon.
Alice moaned desperately as she felt herself beginning to grow hot again. She loved it best when he got like this and couldn't resist dialing it up further, pushing him farther, by saying—in panting gasps, "If this…is what Gary…does to Jenny…no wonder she…put him in charge."
Hatter growled in response and fucked her harder, faster, until Alice started to worry they would break the sideboard—or the wall it was denting in—from their activities upon it.
Then she stopped thinking about anything and started mewling and scrambling for purchase on the surface as Hatter exploded inside her.
Alice felt the combination of his cum and her arousal start to coat her inner thighs as he pulled away from her and collapsed onto the floor, panting and moaning from the exertion. She wondered if she was going to have to clean the sideboard later.
She resolved to worry about it later and flopped down beside Hatter.
*o.O*
"Alice," Hatter murmured into her hair.
"Hmm?" She sighed.
"Do you smell something burning?" He asked.
Alice jerked away from him and jumped up with a shriek. She'd forgotten all about the skillet meal.
"So…we're having takeout for dinner?" Hatter asked.
Alice cast a black look in his direction and carried the pan over to the trash can, scraping the remains of the meal she'd been preparing into it.
Hatter hastily put his clothes back on and snuck out of the room before Alice finished her task. He didn't want to find out what would happen when she was free to return her attention to him.