A/N: Just a little something I came up with while I work on my other fics on other accounts. Consider it a series of small humor-related oneshots concerning all the characters in Blazblue. Every chapter will include 3-5 characters. Review if you enjoy it :) I don't own Blazblue.
Blazblue Quirks
Tsubaki Yayoi becomes the ultimate fangirl when she's drunk.
The first (and only) time Makoto and Noel realized this was mere days after their graduation from the Military Academy. Knowing that soon the three of them would be shipped off to their own divisions and separated for an undetermined amount of time, Makoto had suggested a little graduation party for just the three of them at her house in Shinatsu. Although Noel wanted to go, Tsubaki took some convincing.
Luckily, Makoto Nanaya was nothing if not persistent. Which is precisely how she managed to get an unopened bottle of wine into her studious, reserved, noble friend's hands...
...leading to a positively hammered Tsubaki prancing around like an idiot with a curtain rod in one hand, a wine bottle in the other and a cereal box on her head.
"I am the white void!" she proclaimed proudly as swung the curtain rod and almost smacked a terrified Noel in the face. "I am the cold steel! I am the just sword! With blade in hand I shall-"
Fall. With blade (curtain rod) in hand, she walked straight into the wall and fell. On top of Noel. Who was now completely trapped under her undeniably passed out friend.
"M-Makoto!" Noel managed to croak out. "Get her off of me!"
Unfortunately, the poor girl's plea for help fell on deaf ears as Makoto was nowhere in sight. She tried valiantly to move the limp, redheaded weight off of her petite form, but it was no use.
Tsubaki was completely motionless on top of her and smelled like really powerful grape juice. In the midst of her suffering, Noel mused that Makoto's family definitely had a higher than normal tolerance for alcohol. Must be a beastkin thing...
How the heck did she fall asleep so fast anyway?! She was literally pretending to be Hakumen like 30 seconds ago!
"Aaaaand, got it!"
Noel managed to turn her head to see Makoto, camera in hand and a goofy smile adorning her features. She squeaked in embarrassment. "M-Makoto!"
Laughing, the squirrel beastkin wasted no time in hefting Tsubaki onto her shoulders and carrying her off to her room. Noel followed behind, feeling like the weight of the Black Beast had just been lifted off of her.
"I am Hakumen..." Tsubaki murmured as Makoto tucked her into her bed. "And I hate you, Makoto."
Rachel Alucard secretly listens to rap.
It all started one day when the vampire was in a particularly bored mood. So bored in fact, that even shooting her usual barbs at Ragna would not suffice. So, after a spot of tea of course, Rachel headed towards the 2nd Hierarchical City of Iwatsuchi – a place she usually had no reason to visit and thus knew relatively little about.
She had heard from her late father that centuries ago, Iwatsuchi was referred to as "The United States of America" and that it was a place where freedom and bravery took precedence over all else. She was fascinated by it, but had never once found a reasonable time to go. Now however, she had that chance.
This was how Rachel found herself walking along the streets of Iwatsuchi. Glancing around at its inhabitants, she couldn't really distinguish much of a difference between these people and anyone else from the other Hierarchical Cities.
But then she spotted something.
There was a glimmer in an alley she happened to look down upon. Curious, Rachel elegantly strode into the narrow darkness and examined the gleaming object up close. It was cyclical in shape and had a small hole right in the middle. She picked it up into her milky white hands and flipped it around to see what was on the other side.
What greeted her was the face of a rather heavy-set man, skin the polar opposite shade of her own, who looked to be scowling with a cigar hanging out of his mouth. The text above his face is what she assumed to be his name.
"The Notorious B.I.G..." she said aloud to herself. She paused for a moment. What a ridiculous name. Surely this...Notorious was a complete fool of a man. If his manner of dress was anything to go by, he had not been around in this world for quite a while now. As much as she hated to admit it, the man on this cyclical object could be the only remaining piece of history of a world long since past.
"I must examine its contents," Rachel concluded. "Valkenhayn!"
An old, well-dressed man appeared at once out of a portal. "Yes, Milady?"
"I have found something that could provide hints of a world we know almost nothing about. I require that you decipher its secrets."
Valkenhayn took the object in his hands and glanced at it for only a couple moments, his face completely passive. "Of course, Milady."
Two weeks later
Valkenhayn brought Rachel her afternoon tea as per usual, but this time she noticed he had the mysterious object from two weeks ago in his other hand.
"I take it we have discovered what exactly hides within that enigma, Valkenhayn?"
In a truly out of character moment for him, the butler looked rather nervous. This seemed to only spur on Rachel's curiosity further. "Well then, shall we? I am quite interested in what this...Notorious character wishes to tell us."
"Milady...I beg you reconsider."
Shaking her head Rachel headed back towards the mansion. "Nonsense. This instant, Valkenhayn."
What followed was possibly some of the strangest, most vulgar sounds Rachel Alucard had ever heard. She had every right to turn it off immediately and obliterate the source of the "music" at once.
And yet...she didn't. For some reason, Rachel found herself just standing there listening to what this Notorious fellow had to say. The man had her in a trance of sorts, and not just her either. Valkenhayn, Nago, Gii...all of them were victim to the man's words and the sound of the completely foreign beat.
Over time, Rachel had secretly begun to very much like this Notorious B.I.G character. Every once in a while when she was bored she would retreat to her personal quarters and listen until her heart was content. Still...the idea of listening to such things in front of people like Ragna was unfathomable to her. It simply wasn't an option.
...which is why she cursed herself when she accidentally recited some lyrics one day in front of the said criminal.
"So..." Ragna had said to an extremely embarrassed Rachel, "who's 'Big Poppa', Rachel?"
Sena hates when Luna has a crush.
Rather understandable, considering Sena was a boy and had to share a girl's body with...well a girl. Luna to be exact. Normally, he was the laid back and sensitive one. The one who doesn't like to cause any problems.
Luna is the troublemaker. She's also the emotional one...Sena didn't know if that's just how girls were or if she was hitting puberty first out of the two of them, but it seems her feelings were all over the place all the time. Even then however, Sena was still more or less content with his situation.
Then one day they met Carl Clover. And Sena's world crashed all around him.
Sena was the one in control of Platinum when they first met the kid and his robotic companion. As soon as he had laid eyes on him, his body became increasingly difficult to control...
It appeared that Luna had wanted in. Desperately.
Having never felt this much distress from the other dominate soul in his body, Sena was a bit apprehensive to let her out. After all, he had a pretty good idea why Luna wanted so desperately to talk to this boy, and if his suspicions were correct then he needed to get out of here now.
But then Carl came up to them. And Luna's will finally crushed Sena's own.
"Excuse me, miss?"
Face red, mouth slightly agape and emerald eyes comically wide, Luna for once found herself unable to say anything. She managed to close her mouth, but was now just staring dumbly at what see perceived to be the cutest guy she's ever seen.
"Um..." the boy tilted his head in confusion. "Are you okay, miss?"
Luna didn't know what to do so she naturally just went back to her aggressive safety net. "S-shut up, dumbass! Of course I'm fine! Take that stupid doll of yours and leave me alone!"
Suddenly, Carl's face twisted into an expression of anger. Behind him, the robotic companion seemed to grow sharp metallic claws. "Don't talk about my sister like that."
Luna's eyes widened. Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best thing to say to this kid. Especially since he just wanted help. She needed to find a better way out of this because she really didn't want to fight this thing. Trying to scrounge up some kind of excuse to not get her ass kicked right now was proving difficult, and the fact that the doll was rearing back to presumably kick her ass eight ways to Sunday wasn't helping.
And perhaps it was the lack of her voice of reason (Sena), or maybe it was temporary insanity, but whatever it was it was enough to make Luna think this next idea was a good one:
In a sudden, clumsy move, the girl with three souls lunged forward and kissed Carl straight on the mouth in what can only be described as the sloppiest most awkward affair of all time. Even the doll froze up, not knowing what to do. After a few seconds, it was over and Sena came to a terrifying realization...
He was back in control of Platinum. And Luna? Nowhere to be found. The damn girl kissed and ran!
"U-um," Sena stuttered. "I...uh...bye."
Platinum ran as fast as possible to get away from Carl, unfortunately causing her to miss the way a silly smile played out on the boy's face and his fingers traced over his lips.
"Weird girl, eh sis?"
Relius Clover actually owns a "World's Best Dad" coffee mug.
He never brings it up either. Ever. The mug just kind of sits there at his desk while Relius busies himself with important matters to keep up his status as a villain in the story.
But it's there. Every single day. In the exact same spot. Radiating an overwhelming sense of smugness and a extremely sadistic sense of humor considering who exactly Relius is.
As he is allies with the Colonel, Hazama has obviously noticed the mug in past meetings with Relius but has said nothing. Not because he didn't want to bring it up – Hazama is hardly one to ever hold his tongue – but simply because the Captain likes the idea of Relius secretly being an even bigger piss of than himself.
One day, however, Hazama simply can't help himself anymore. He needs to know why that abominable mug is constantly there on the otherwise completely serious man's desk.
"Say, Relly..."
The Colonel stiffens at the absurd nickname but looks up regardless. "Hm?"
"What's with that mug?"
Relius glances towards the container in question before moving his gaze back up to the Captain. "I would hope I don't have to explain to you the basics of consuming beverages, Hazama."
Hazama lets out a completely humorless laugh. "You know what I mean, smartass. 'Worlds Best Dad'? Really? You?"
The masked man shrugs, returning to perusing over some important documents. "Well I am a father, you know."
"You turned your daughter into an emotionless piece of scrap metal and turned your son into the most bloodthirsty eleven year-old I've ever seen."
"Carl would be fourteen this year if memory serves."
Hazama groans in annoyance. "Seriously man, what's the deal with that thing? While I love the idea of it considering the fact that you're anything but father of the year, I just...don't get it."
For a moment, all is silent. Relius appears to not even be paying attention to Hazama anymore. With a curse, the Captain turns to leave his office when all of a sudden...
"A gift from Kokonoe from when we worked together. I am told she sent one to Jubei as well."
Hazama can't help but grin at this. Nice one, furball.
A/N:I don't own rap legend Biggie Smalls either. R.I.P