"Okay, I'm in," Sly Cooper said into his binocucom. He had just finished going around the outer parapets of the old building, jumping down onto the roof of the castle that housed his target.

"That's great Sly," Bentley said. "Now you just have to get to the main security room inside and let Murray in."

"On it." Sly slipped through the roof door and went inside the house. Let's see, he thought as he looked into the lavish hallway. He hid his body around the corner of the branch he had come out of. Bentley said that it's the first green door on the- Sly yanked his body back around the corner. He pressed himself flat against the shadows and pulled his binocucom out again. "Hey, Bentley? Didn't you say that he would prioritize protecting himself over anything else in the house?"

"That is correct," said the wheelchair-bound turtle. "All my research shows that whenever Rainier is threatened, he orders all of his men to stand guard outside his bedroom."

"Well, it looks like he's gotten a little smarter." Sly pointed the camera out into the hallway, showing Bentley the two burly gorillas patrolling up and down the hall with a flashlight in one hand and a gun in the other.

"What?! That's impossible, all my research says that he would never think to guard his mainframe! Oh, who knows what else he's changed! It's too risky, you need to pull out!"

"Hmm. Penelope?"

"Yeah, Sly?" said the purple mouse, her head popping up in the screen previously occupied by Bentley.

"Is your helicopter picking up anything strange?" Sly asked.

"Uhm, let me check." Sly's camera feed was replaced with the view from Penelope's RC helicopter, showing him the empty castle grounds save the pink hippo sitting in front of the gate. "No, the coast still looks clear. I think he just put some guards here," Penelope said.

"Okay then, no problem."

"Sly!" Bentley said, his sponge-like eyebrows rocketing upwards.

"Oh, come on pal. This is nothing," Sly reassured him, already making a plan of attack.

Bentley groaned. "Fine. It's your funeral, partner." He signed off.

Sly lowered the binocucom and looked up and down the dark green hallway while the gorillas' backs were turned. Hmm. Too much light over there, he thought, looking in the direction of his destination, well-lit by the string of light fixtures adorning the ceiling. He turned the other way, seeing that the chandelier all the way at the end of the hall was broken, casting that side in shadow. Maybe… Yeah, that'll work.

He waited until both gorillas were facing away from his entryway and stepped into the hall. He leaped up to grab the edge that jutted out from the archway decorating it. He quickly pulled himself up and balanced onto it. He jumped from there to the chandelier in front of it, then began leaping between the glass fixtures all the way down the hall to the broken one. Sly waited on his perch, counting the seconds until the guard that was making his way towards him turned around before he leapt down. He quickly picked the man's pocket, getting his golden watch, before smacking him up into the air with his cane, grabbing him in the air with the hook, and slamming him back down. The guard was unconscious. Sly quickly ducked back into the shadows as the other guard, hearing the noise but not seeing anything, came to investigate.

While the gorilla looked at the body of his colleague, he let his gun droop slightly. Sly took the opportunity, striking the gorilla four times before he could even lift his gun. The second guard joined the first on the floor. Sly let out the breath he had been holding, more out of habit than any actual fear.

"Okay, I'm good," Sly said as he went to the door that Bentley had said led to the fuse room.

"You're lucky that's true," Bentley said. "Okay, open up the gray fuse box and flick the switch that says 'Anterior'."

"Got it." Sly opened up the only gray box out of the six that were in the small room. He put his finger on the switch. "Murray, you ready?"

"The Murray is always ready!" said the pink hippo. "Just let me in, Sly!"

"Okay." Sly flicked the switch. "There you go buddy."

Murray stood up from his spot in front of the main gate of the castle. Without the additional electromagnetic force holding the metal door to the floor, the only thing standing in murray's way was 150 pounds of iron. He lifted it easily and went inside. "The Murray has arrived!" he said into his compiece. "Where are you, Sly?"

"Up here." Murray looked up and saw the blue-clad raccoon looking down at him from the third floor. "Come on," Sly said with a jerk of his head. Murray went up the stairs to Sly.

"Okay, lead the way buddy."

Sly and Murray went through the green, swampy-looking castle, going through elaborate halls and decadent rooms, all coated with silver curtains and gem-studded furnishings, making their way to the massive room in front of Rainier's bedroom.

"Okay Murray, give me a boost," Sly said.

Murray picked up his friend and threw him to the chandelier hanging from the ceiling just in front of the bedroom door.

"Whenever you're ready, pal," Sly said.

"The Murray requires no prep time!" Murray grabbed a vase near the room entrance and slammed it into the ground, shattering the piece of pottery.

Immediately, a dozen guards came pouring out of Rainier's room, all heading towards Murray. All but one. That one had the job of locking the door behind them, so no one could get to the boss. Since he was focused on that and the other eleven were focused on Murray, it was no trouble at all for Sly to drop from the ceiling and knock him out before the door could lock.

Scooping up the keys on a whim, Sly entered the bedroom. Or at least, he thought he was entering the bedroom. It turned out that Rainier kept a buffer between his place of sleep and his castle, presumably for the guards to stay in and not bother him. Sly used the keys to open up the door and, finally, he was in.

He took a brief look around the green room, seeing a large wardrobe, easily ten feet high, a massive bathtub, and a twenty feet square mirror covering half of one of the walls. As Sly tiptoed around the room, taking in the hideous green color, he found what he was looking for. An elaborate portrait of Rainier, slouching in his purple chair in his best dinner jacket. One small problem:

The painting was hanging at the head of Rainier's bed, which was currently occupied by the brown toad himself. Sly got his bearings as he tried to puzzle out a way to get to the painting. He decided that there was no way around it; he would have to climb up the bed's ornately detailed backboard. He carefully did this, moving slowly, inching up until he got to the top of the board and stood on it. He slowly slid along it, feeling for the edge of the painting. When he found it, Sly slid his fingers along the side of the frame, feeling for a-

A-hah! Sly thought as he found the catch. He smiled and swung the painting away, revealing the safe inside.

C'mon, Bentley, don't fail me now! he thought as he rotated the dials into the combination the turtle had figured out. Let's see, six, one, six. There was an audible click as the safe door popped open.

At the sound, Sly froze, looking down to check up on Rainier as he started shifting in his sleep. Fortunately, the brown toad only mumbled and rolled over. Sly slumped slightly in relief. He straightened up and felt around in the safe until his hand eventually fell upon the things he was looking for: a scrap of old parchment that he carefully folded into his pocket, and a massive blood diamond, bigger than his clenched fist. Sly attached the diamond to his back harness and, pausing to place one of his calling cards into the safe, rushed out the room as silently as he could.

Once he left the bedroom behind him, along with the buffer, he saw his trustworthy hippo friend standing among a pile of unconscious bodies.

"Any trouble, Murray?" Sly asked facetiously.

"These little punks were no match for the power of The Murray!" Murray posed and flexed his arms. "You got them?" he asked.

"Right here," Sly said, patting his pocket and his back. "Now let's get back to the safehouse."

"Great idea. I was getting a little hungry."

The two thieves, successful in their quest, exited the castle and returned to the small building they were using as a safehouse.

The pair entered the house, each saying hi to the Panda King as he stood guard over the door. Murray went to the fridge, and Sly went straight to Bentley. The turtle was sitting behind a nice wooden desk, laptop off to the side, furrowing his brow and pursing his lips as he worked furiously on a calculator.

"Hey, Bentley," Sly said, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, holding his cane in one hand.

Bentley popped up in his seat in surprise. "Ahh!" he said. "Oh, it's you, Sly. How was it? Did you get the map?"

Sly nodded, holding up the piece of paper. "And the diamond." He took the rock off of his back and threw it over to Bentley.

"Ahh, the Kahaa diamond!" Bentley said. While he looked over it, Sly opened up the folded piece of paper and began thinking.

End of Mission Monologue

It took a couple of weeks, but I finally had it: the second piece of the map to the Cooper family armory. Throughout the generations, the Cooper family had had different weapons, all hooks, but styled to match each thief's personal style. And, when time came to lay down the hook, all of the members of my family hung up their canes in our armory, right up until my grandfather, Alexander Cooper, lost the only existing copy of the map when he was just starting out.

It was stolen from him by the Malicious Militia, an old gang that I don't even think is around anymore. They split up before my dad was even born. I would have gone off to find the armory earlier, but before my dad could tell me… well… yeah. It was just dumb luck that I came across a piece of the map on a heist, but now I know they're out there. And I'm co-

"Uhh, Sly," Bentley said, snapping Sly out of his monologue, his eyes wide. "Little problem."

"What?" Sly asked.

"This," Bentley said, "is a fake."

"What."

Three Weeks Ago, at Interpol Headquarters.

Inspector Carmelita Fox was a little annoyed. First, she'd been told (first thing in the morning, mind you) that she had to drag her ass to the commissioner's office, a task which would have annoyed her even if it didn't mean that she had to tear herself away from tracking down Sly Cooper. Then, building on top of that, she hadn't had her morning coffee. And, on top of that, she had been whistled at no less than three times no doubt by some rookies who didn't know who she was yet. Still, she knew she had to deal with it, and the sooner the commissioner was finished yelling at her, the sooner she could get back to work.

Thus, she found herself standing, irritated (the best mood to talk to your boss in) outside a wooden door with a plaque saying 'Commissioner Reeves'. She took a deep breath to calm herself, counted to ten, and put on her best neutral face. She knocked on the door and went in.

She saw the chief, a massive tan doberman, sitting behind his desk and looking at her over his bridged fingers and someone she didn't know: a red tiger in baggy jeans and a plain, black t-shirt, leaning against the wall. She ignored him, figuring he was an internal affairs officer of some kind.

"You wanted to see me, commissioner?" Carmelita asked.

"Yes," Commissioner Reeves said. He tilted his head so that his ears were pointing at the tiger next to him. "Inspector Fox, meet your new partner, Detective Bryce Stel."

"Hi," Bryce said as he walked up to Carmelita, hand outstretched.

Carmelita looked at the hand like it was holding an alien UFO. "What."