Gag Gift Day, a twilight fanfic

wow.
just because i thought
"what the heck, why not?"
...
i don't know where i find enough time to write these little one-shots
but i always do...
...
i should get a LIFE ©.
:D
-theenvylover

Gag Gift Day

We were walking up to Edward's front door when he stopped suddenly. Of course, I was spaced out at the moment and just happened to walk right into him.

"You really shouldn't sop so fast," I warned him as I rubbed my nose. I don't think he even heard me.

"What's today's date?" he asked urgently.

"July 27th, 2007. Why?" I asked back. He groaned and held his head.

"I thought it was tomorrow," he mumbled. The door flew open and we were yanked inside.

"What's going on?" I asked. We were placed on the couch by our attackers; Emmett and Alice.

"Gag gift day," Edward muttered.

"Ding ding ding!" Emmett announced. I was still confused.

"You see, Bella," Edward explained. "When you have lived for as long as we have you get bored. Then, you come up with stupid things like…" Alice whacked him on the head.

"It isn't stupid; you're just mad because you always lose!" Alice corrected.

"Wait, 'lose'?" I asked them. Emmett grinned.

"It's a competition."

"And what do you do in this competition?" I was afraid to ask. Alice grinned.

"You give gag gifts to each other and try not to get mad. The first person out has to do anything the last person standing wants. It's really simple," she smiled evilly.

"I'll be the referee," I called. I wasn't going to get dragged into another one of the Cullens' competitions; I always ended up in last place.

"Jasper refs," Edward stated. "When we first started we wondered why he kept winning…"

"Oh." Great. Now I have to compete.

"Don't worry," Edward said as he kissed my neck. Worried? Why would I be worried? I'm with Edward…He always does that.

"Let's get started," Jasper announced as he walked down the stairs with Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle. Each of them carried a mountain of boxes. They sat on the couch and loveseats making a circle around Jasper. Edward left suddenly and returned soon with his own mound of gifts.

"Who first?" Jasper asked.

"Let's start with the easy-outs," Alice chirped as she gave a small box to me. Oh great, I'm the easy-out. I sighed as I unwrapped the gift. When I got all of the paper off I laughed.

"What is it?" Emmett asked. I showed it to them.

Vampire teeth.

"So much for easy-out," Rosalie remarked. "How did you expect to get her out like that?"

"I wasn't going after Bella," Alice smirked. My vampire teeth whizzed past her head.

"Edward's out," Jasper laughed. Edward sighed and pushed his pile in front of me.

"They're already addressed, just hand it to them," he explained. He expected me to try to make someone mad? Not just anyone, but his family?

"Next!" Jasper announced.

Carlisle tossed a box to Rosalie. She opened it amazingly fast and showed it off.

It was a whip.

Everybody was just looking at Carlisle like he had gone insane, well, until Edward started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Rosalie asked.

"Carlisle says that 'real men have whips' and since you're the man in the relationship, he might as well give you one," Edward announced.

"She is not!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Emmett's out," Jasper said coolly. Esme gave Carlisle a small high-five as Emmett pushed his pile over to Rosalie.

"Here," Rosalie said as she tossed something to Alice. She opened the package and smiled.

"I've always wanted stilts! Thank you Rosalie!" she exclaimed.

"No out, she's honest," Jasper announced. Rosalie grumbled.

Edward nudged me and pointed to the envelope that said "Esme". I stared at him in horror. I wasn't going to try to make Esme mad; she was so nice to me. Edward started kissing a line up my neck and I gave Esme the envelope. It's just a game… right?

"I don't think I've ever seen Edward's gifts before," Carlisle remarked.

"He's always the first one out," Emmett laughed.

Esme opened the envelope carefully and looked inside. She smiled lovingly and thanked Edward who nodded in return.

"What is it?" Alice asked. Esme took out several slips of paper and showed them off. Each slip had a hundred dollar coupon to some department store I've never heard of.

"Where is that?" I asked. Esme tensed and Edward grinned.

"It closed many years ago," Esme said sadly.

"It was Esme's favorite store until, um, certain circumstances…" Carlisle tried to explain. Something struck a nerve with Esme.

"Lowe's bought it out! It was the perfect place to go but Lowe's just shows up and buys the whole thing out!" Esme exclaimed.

"Esme's out," Jasper stated. Esme sat down in defeat.

A small box dropped on my lap. The way things were going I didn't want to open it.

"Go ahead," Edward whispered. "It's not something against you."

I opened the little box carefully and pulled out a key. "What's this?" I asked Rosalie who had given it to me. She smiled.

"It's a 911 Turbo, it's sitting in the driveway," she smiled. Stilts whizzed past her head.

"You gave her my car!" Alice exclaimed. "You gave me stilts but you gave her the car!"

"I think it might be obvious but just so you know; Alice is out," Jasper laughed.

I pushed the pile of gifts to the center. I didn't want to compete anymore.

"You can't give up now!" Alice told me. Well, more like ordered. She was still angry about the car which I wasn't going to keep anyway.

"And why not?" I asked her.

"Because Edward was the first out!" she explained. "The first person out has to do anything the last person standing wants."

I suddenly wanted to win.

I looked around at who was left. It was just Carlisle, Rosalie, and I. I gave Rosalie the box with her name on it. She started opening it, stopped, and threw it at Edward's head.

"What was it?" I asked Edward. He just smiled.

If there was a good time to be invisible, this would be it.

"Another obvious out," Jasper announced hesitantly. "Now it's down to Carlisle and Bella."

Personally, I didn't want to make Carlisle mad, mainly because he was in charge of my future. But if it meant that I could get Edward to change me I would do whatever it takes.

"Now I can practice at home! Well, aside from the occasional…" he didn't have to finish. I knew perfectly well that I was basically his homework.

Rosalie handed him something to give to me, it was the same size box as the car key from before. I opened it hesitantly. Inside there was another key, and a piece of metal that matched my old car.

"Let us explain," Rosalie started.

"You see, When you came here yesterday in your loud truck it kind of ruined the mood," Emmett explained. "We decided to get you a new car but Edward told us that you wouldn't accept it unless your truck was dead..."

I stared at the piece of metal that matched my truck. I realized that it matched my truck because that's what was left of it.

"Um, guys…" Jasper started, they didn't listen.

"Your new car is an Audi, they're really fast and really quiet," Rosalie explained. I stared at the piece of metal that used to be my truck.

"Guys," Jasper tried again, they still didn't listen.

"…a new radio, mp3 capable, air and heat…" Rosalie kept naming. My truck…

"GUYS!" Jasper exclaimed. They turned to look at him.

"What?" Rosalie asked impatiently, like he was cutting her off.

"We need to get out of here," he stated.

"Why?" Carlisle asked urgently. I knew why.

"Bella lost."

this is dedicated to Marisol.
i gave her a life-size cut out of Johnny Depp and she had to carry it around school the whole day.
:D
this is also dedicated to BellyGnomes
who actually watched the cello video
XD
i still wonder why they both talk to me...

-theenvylover

disclaimer- Twilight © and all of its contents are owned by † Stephenie Meyer † and not me.
also,
anything with a © is owned by Milton Bradly or something...
(except for Twilight)