F .R.I.E.N.D.S
Season 1 Episode 1: The One With The Break Up
A blue haired known as Dawn Berlitz was sitting with her friend May Maple
"Hey did you hear Obama was raped" Dawn Asked
(Audience Laugh)
"WHAT!" May shouted
(Audience Laugh)
"I'm just kidding"
(Audience Laugh)
"I have to leave got a date with Harley"May says
"I thought you broke up with him" Dawn asked
"No I didn't what made you think that or did my brother tell you that" May asked
"Well he looks like a girl and makes you two look gay" Dawn answered
(Audience Laugh)
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
DAWN BERLITZ
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
MAY MAPLE
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
MISTY WATERFLOWER
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but
ASH KECTHUM
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
DREW HAYDEN
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
BROCK STONE
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
MAX MAPLE
F .R.I.E.N.D.S
"Alright dudes what is the meeting" Max asks walking into Dawn's apartment
"Well ask Dawn" Ash says
"Well we need to split up May and Harley" Dawn says
"I agree" Brock says agreeing
"OK I'm in" The others say
"What's the plan" Drew asks
"Fart in their faces" Ash says not caring
(Audience Laughs)
"I've got one" Max says and they listen
AT THE CAFE
"Are you sure this is going to work" Dawn asks
"Totally" Max answers then Harley walks by as Max and the others hide in a bush
"OH MY GOSH! Harley is that you" Dawn screams
(Audience Laughs)
"Hey it's slutty Dawn" Harley says
(Audience Laughs)
" Excuse me mister but don't you talk to me that way or I will kick your ass" Dawn tells him off but as she sees May comes by she kisses Harley
(Audience Ohhh's)
"Dawn...Harley how could you" May says crying and she runs away and Max and the others have their jaws wide open
(Audience Laughs)
'Dawn that wasn't the plan" Brock says
"Sorry I panicked" Dawn told
"Well thanks I might lose my girl" Harley says
"That's the whole point dumb ass" Drew told him
(Audience Laughs)
"Well I never" Harley says
"Bye" Ash says
(Audience Laughs)
"But..."
"JUST LEAVE HARLEY" ASH SCREAMS and so Harley leaves
(Audience Laughs)
"I have to talk with May" Dawn says
"I'll come with you" Max tells her
At May & Max's Apartment
Max opens the door and sees May sitting on the couch with a lot of tissues and watching a sad romantic film
"GO AWAY YOU SON OF A BITCH!" May shouted at Dawn
(Audience Laughs)
"We need to talk" Dawn says
"What do you want"
"Well Dawn never was supposed to kiss Harley it wasn't the plan" Max told May
"What do you mean"
"Here's what was supposed to happen" Dawn says
*FLASHBACK*
"OK Dawn you know how Harley calls you names" Max says
"Yeah"
"Well if you get Harley to keep calling you names and May comes near you guys, you fake cry and she will see Harley is a bad person and break up with him" Max tells
"As long as I don't kiss him my last one was bad enough" Dawn says
"What happened" Ash asked
"Funny story" Drew said "It happened in Atlantic City"
"Du-ude!" Dawn said
(Audience Laughs)
"What happened in Atlantic City?" Brock asked
"Well, Dawn and I are in a bar...
"Did you not hear me say, 'Du-ude'?" Dawn says
(Audience Laughs)
"...and this guy is making eyes at Dawn, okay? So after a while she just goes over to him and, uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking. Dawn's not the type of girl who just goes to bars and makes out with guys. And you're right. Dawn's not the type of girl just goes to bars and makes out with guys." Drew continues
" You kissed a girl? Oh my God." Max says
"In my defense, it was dark and she was a very pretty girl." Dawn says defensing herself
(Audience Laughs)
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"YOU KISSED A GIRL!" May said laughing
"But what I'm trying to say is...You know how children aren't allow to play with scissors..well dating is your scissors and if we don't take it out of your hand, someone's going to lose an eye" Dawn explains while Max is nodding his head
(Audience Laughs)
"So I should break up with Harley or let someone lose an eye"
(Audience Laughs)
"Break up with him" Max tells her
"Okay I'll do it, thanks you guys" May says
Next Day At The Cafe
The gang was just sitting in the cafe when Ash says
"How was the break up"
"Harley took it okay I think he did, right after I left I heard a lot of banging, thumping and smashing" May tells
(Audience Laughs)
"I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?" Misty asks
"I'll have a latte." May says
"I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf." Drew tells and Ash says
"I'll have a bagel with a little...
"You know I was just being polite." Misty says
(Audience Laughs)
Misty just walks away "I want that muffin" Drew says
(Audience Laughs)
ENDING
AT DAWN'S APARTMENT
Unexpectedly Dawn's phone rings and May answers it
"Hello...Dawn, it's the Visa card people"
" Oh, God, ask them what they want"
"[on the phone] Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? Yes, hold on." May asks "Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account."
"But I haven't used my card in weeks." Dawn says
"That is the unusual activity."
(Audience Laughs)