DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING.

Afternoon Tea

I lounged on the couch nibbling on a crêpe made by Francis, I'd asked him to make them for me they were after all my favorite.

We were all in Spec's living room Antonio and Francis were sitting over my right both smiling and talking to me animatedly about how 'cute' their respective others were (the brat and that quiet birdie, who were over there chatting it up by the wall if you're curious… ), West I'm sure was lurking somewhere… oh. There he was, just when the hell had he gotten to laying his head on my lap…? I blinked down at him for a moment then grinned and absently began running my fingers through his – unusually messy – blonde hair; careful to avoid the gauze wrapped around his head.

He tensed at the contact for a moment then relaxed into the touch. Liz watched with a soft smile from across the room as she walked over and set a plate in my hands as I finished my crêpe. It was a small slice of cake; I gave her a questioning look.

"From Roderich." She said softly, sitting on the arm of the couch and pulling Feli into a hug.

"… So he still won't come?"

My long time friend and rival smiled sadly. "No… he's… he's coming, after earlier – when he finally broke down you know…? He's trying to recollect himself so he can show his face to you…"

I force out a chuckle, "Yeah…? Well tell him to hurry the hell up… I don't have forever." A thoughtful silence fell as Gilbird, my awesome chick, nudged my cheek in worry.

"Patience was never your strong point was it?"

I grinned slightly, "Hey Specs. What took you so long?"

"…" he didn't answer and walked over to where I was. Antonio stood up and went over to stand by the brat as Francis soon followed to stand by his silent little birdie. He plopped down next to me and leaned his head on my shoulder. He was contented.

There was a long silence in the room right then. A long tense moment.

I (with my awesome self) decided to break the ice, "So Liz how's your porn?"

"Fuck off Gilbert!"

"Kesesese… got any dirt on Toni and Lovi yet?"

"… And if I do?"

"YOU BETTER NOT GOD DAMN IT!"

And with a single phrase the room burst into conversation. Lovi over there was yelling every curse word in the book while he pounded his fists into (a very amused) Antonio's chest, Francis chuckled at the scene before pulling his little birdie to his chest. Liz, smirking slightly, muttering something about 'sexual tension' under her breath, Feli was worriedly trying to calm down his brother, and even Roddy cracked a small smile as he sat up to sip his tea.

"When will you all stop being such idiots…" the Austrian muttered fondly.

My brother was still resting on my lap, hands clutching at the fabric of my pants. I continued to stroke his hair.

That's when I began to wonder. What would this scene be like without me in it? Mentally I removed myself from the picture and imagined Francis and Toni going out drinking alone, I imagined Liz sitting on the piano stool listening to Specs undisturbed, I thought of Feli and West sitting at the dinner table – just the two of them; I imagined a world without me in it... It… it actually looked pretty damn good actually, now that I thought about it…

I smiled. And began teasing a very indignant Lovino about his and Tonio's sex life, though I knew very well Antonio still hadn't mustered up the courage to lay a hand on the brat yet.

Smile. My teasing was soon tag teamed by Francis and Liz.

Smile.

I grinned widely as I laughed aloud, a laugh that many may have found annoying in my lifetime (it was an epically awesome laugh in my opinion, damn it!) but again oh well. I took a napkin and brought the cake up to my mouth, I froze. Scheiße.

It had started already…

N-Nein. I had to keep on ficking smiling. I wanted to leave this world with a smile on my face, like Old Man Fritz and Vati Germania… I looked at the everyday scene before me again, taking in every detail, all their faces – burning it all into my memory.

I took a bite out of Spec's cake.

It was good.

Tears welled up in my eyes as a lump formed in my throat. I wouldn't be able to eat his cakes anymore, I-I wouldn't be able to piss off the world anymore; I wouldn't be seeing any of the people in this room ever again…

I began shaking and my hands fisted themselves into my lap (I didn't want to yank West's hair out after all…) West slowly turned his head to look up at me as a drop fell onto his cheek. His eyes were slightly empty and… well… tired he'd just gotten out of WW2 so its pretty understandable… But now he looked down at my feet and buried his face into my shirt immediately when he saw what was happening. He was shaking as well.

I noticed that the room had gone silent yet again.

I heard quiet sobbing and hiccups, it couldn't have been West or Feli – they were both noisy criers.

Then… was it me? Well so much for smiling… I hide my face into Roddy's shoulder, and cried shamelessly. I cried for my people, my country, my family, my friends… I would be gone soon; I just wasn't strong enough to survive.

I felt something nudge my cheek.

There was Elizabeta. She was holding out her handkerchief out for me to take. "Pfft, you idiot what're you crying for…?" but even her smile was starting to break, along with the dams she herself had put up in her tear ducks when she and I were under… that damn Russki…

I sobbed harder as I yanked her down into a tight, awkwardly placed hug along with Specs and West. "Francis, Toni get your asses over here... the rest of you too…" Damn it… damn it…! GOTTVERDAMNIT! I didn't want to fade like I had watched Vati…

I clutched the three tighter to my chest as though they were the most precious things in the world.

West was wailing now, screaming at the top of his lungs, "NEIN! NEIN! NO! BRUDER! BIG BROTHER DON'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE! NO NOT YOU! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! JUST DON'T GO!" I clutched him tighter to my chest as the tears kept falling. No… I had to leave.

The tears slowed as I just sat and held my precious ones. My shirt became damp from Liz's tears Roderich hugged my head to his chest as he rocked me back and forth – he was crying again, just like he did earlier today. Feli was sitting in front of me in clear hysterics…

Even as Antonio fell to his knees and had to be supported by Lovino, I just hugged those three closer, silent tears fell from Francis's cheeks I looked him straight in the eyes and smiled, a true friend. He had fought until the bitter end over my dissolution. I even heard from Feli that he had nearly gone on a rampage when he realized that it was final…

I felt Gilbird nuzzle into my hair one last time with a pitiful 'cheep'.

I looked over to the window, and at the blue sky. I saw a white dove; the sun was out as well. I smiled right then, "Don't go… don't leave… I love you…! Damn you Gilbert I fucking love you… Ich liebe dich…" Roderich chocked out as he clung to me like a lifeline.

What a thing to find out before I die. Well shit Specs you sure picked a weird time to confess...

None the less I smiled and hugged all of them tightly one last time – I could feel myself fading, I had this odd feeling that I was now translucent…

"I love you too Roderich…" I pressed a kiss to his lips before pulling away with a mischievous smirk, "Just wish you would have told me earlier you know…?" he glared at me half-heartedly as he hugged me again.

"Don't go… please don't go…" he whispered.

"But I have to…"

"…" he looked at me for a long moment then tightened his arms around me.

I turned to everyone else in the room, "Hey, I'm leaving the world's stage… I hope that you enjoyed the extra special time you spent with Gilbert 'AWESOME' Beilschmidt." I closed my eyes one last time. Only a few seconds left Gilbert make it fucking count.

"And someone beat that damn Russian's ass and put him in his place for me."

With that line I was gone – no more than a memory in the hearts of the ones most precious to me.

A/N: … Oh god. I'm so sorry guys… uuuuuh I don't even have an explanation… just… sorry guys :/ not one of my best but thanks for taking the time to read it… I guess… I wrote this late last night on a whim so sorry if it sucks ^ ^; I was feeling angsty and mildly depressed at the time... so sorry :/ I don't even know whatelse to say... But I killed Prussia. Again. TT . TT

Please review =3